FoaL: Hospital Visit

by Crimson Rain

Writing home

Hey there mom. If you get this, know that I'm alright. God only knows how far away I am, but I'm fine. Don't try to find me, it won't work. I'm quite literally not on Earth anymore. If you want to know more, just read the copy of a journal entry I wrote that should be rolled up with this letter.

I won't ever see you again, but I'll send you a letter every week to let you know how I'm doing. I'll work hard to make you proud, I promise.

I love you mom.

Comments

[Crimson Rain]

8235662
I do appreciate your criticism. Basically, what this was supposed to be was a skeletal retelling of certain events to be expanded upon more in chapters later to come. The details of the crash and rescue will be told through other survivors in chapter 2, Flitter will get her own POV chapter, and I even plan to write a chapter showing how Jack's disappearance and letters affect his friends and family back on Earth.

There is a plan, do not worry.

[Inukshuk]

8236463

If there is going to be a second chapter can you change the status from complete to incomplete?

Basically, what this was supposed to be was a skeletal retelling of certain events to be expanded upon more in chapters later to come.

I still think even with this the case it was not executed quite right. I reread the the story once more the I also see spots where some stuff could be rearranged to make the chapter more engaging. Do you mind if I take a copy of this and put it on gdocs so I can better show what I mean?

[Crimson Rain]

8236763
I don't mind. Always glad to accept help.

Also, I don't mean story chapter, I mean a chapter in his new life. I can see how that'd be a tad confusing though... eh, I'll switch it to parts.