Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22

Usually the Most Boring Night Ever

Dear Twilight and Friends,

Boy, was this night actually kind of interesting for once!

...Also, I can't even begin to imagine what all of you must have been fantasizing about when you came to this thing, but, I do have some idea.

Twilight, first of all, before we get too far, I'm sorry if it was really, really, really boring, having to stand with me, and greet all those dumb noble ponies, but, at least you got to see me burn one alive for calling you a plebian, after asking why you were standing next to me~ I know you seemed a little freaked out, but, c'mon! You know me! You know how I roll sometimes~

...I probably sounded kind of weird there, and I should stop talking like that, but, I hope you just remember, Twilight, I have reasons I act the way I do.

...Like having an low tolerance for the BS of most of the nobles I have to deal with on a daily basis, especially when they insult my personal student.

Although, just remember, Twilight, in the future, you are definitely going to have to stand on your own fully. I won't be there always, even if the world does start missing my naturally gorgeous and magnificent presence~

Anyway, I thought the Gala was going to be boring. Its never really all that great. Jet Setter talks about how his cousins are doing in Las Pegasus, High Held keeps going on and on about his financial conquests in Manehattan, and, there's just so much other stuff that I just can't even.

Tonight, though? Tonight was a hoot~

I'm sorry, Rarity, but, you're not the first mare whose been-sadly-attracted to my many greats nephew so far-Not that he's actually all that great, mind you, thats just our degrees of genetic separation-and, most of the mares I try to subtly warn never seem to really get the clue, so, I just let them figure it out for themselves.

Applejack? I'm sorry none of those hobnohs liked any of your apple delicacies. I probably would have grabbed a cake or two, if I had been able to get away from greeting ponies long enough.

Pinkie? It was never really that kind of party. I wish it was, but, it just isn't. Trust me, I've tried in the past, but, I nearly set nobles' manes on fire. While I didn't care about that particular thing that much, their families did, so, I almost had to wear those dumb flame retardant things I wear to running of the leaves all the time to all the galas, and, I just had to draw line somewhere.

Fluttershy? Heh, I'm sorry, I maybe told the animals you were coming, and, that you really liked hide and seek. I swear, I didn't think you would mind~

And, Rainbow? Honestly, I can't even believe you still want to be a wonderbolt, even after you've proven yourself waaaayyyyy more competent than they are at times. I guess you really respect them, huh? I kind of don't anymore, but, props to you for not letting seeing them in embarrassing situations lessen your respect for them.

Anyway, sorry the Gala wasn't all you hoped it be...

Cause it was better~

Rarity beating up my nephew for using her as a cake shield-and being a horrible prince in general-, Pinkie trying to liven up the party, and, that stampede from the animals that came in being chased by Fluttershy?

And, the donuts at Joe's were just final cherry on top, to make it truly the best night ever~

I think maybe in the future, I will try to find new ways to liven up the Gala. Yep, definitely need to find a way to top this occasion.

Planning for a new gala,

Empress Daybreaker

Oh, hey, Nighty, there you are! I was wondering whether you'd complete your miss-

AHHHHHH! What the-?!

Oh! Haha, I see you're trying to kill me me again, aren't you?

Well, go ahead, Sis, do your wors-~

...

Were you expecting a baby to pop into existence instead? What kind of spell did you-?

You what?!

Nighty, why would you try to use ones of his spells to kill me?! He practices cloning magic!

No, see, I know his hoofwriting is really bad, but, its not biological warfare, its biological DNA wedding!

...It means your DNA was used to make her. So was mine.

Yeah, really, we have a new little sister! So, what are you-

...Anddddddd, she fainted.

Siiiiigggggghhhhhhh

Well, I'll still do my best to take care of you, you lil cutie, you~

Whose a shweetie? Whose a shweet lil babeh poneh~?

Dats right! Itsh you, itsh you~

You're gonna need a name, though...

Oh! I think I'll call you Eclipse!

Yesh, da pewfect name, fow da pewfect widdwe Nightmawe fiwwy~

Author's Note:

Okay, yeah, didn't do this until night time again!

Still, I think this turned out pretty nice to be honest~

And, with that, Season One is wrapped up!

Onto more dungeon mysteries, and season two~!

Comments

[RazDelacroix]

That ending is adorably terrifying. Adorafying!

[zackepic22]

9900414

Heh, yeah.

To be honest, I had plans for a baby to be made from this sort of thing for this episode's chapter a while ago.

[Xanderfox]

I can just imagine the scene with the Noble.
Him boring Daybreaker,asking after Twilight.
Twilight is akorably awkward, he makes a rude comment.
Daybreaker as him "Are we family?"
Confused he says no, Daybreaker grins.. FLAME ON!!!!

[redmar]

I wonder how stupid the nobles have to that they can't get the hint that Daybreaker has little to no patience with them at the best of times.