Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22

Many Mysteries of Daybreaker's Dungeons Part 1

Dear Colonel MerryWeather,

I still can't believe that the Empress reassigned me to the dungeon areas. Just because I made onnneee little mistake, during the Prank War! I mean, I should be allowed to support my commanding officer in the field of battle, even if said battle involves eclairs, paint bombs, and lots of remote joy buzzers...

But, anyway that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because I've been finding lots of strange things and events happening around the dungeons. I mean, I know everyone's joked about and made rumors about the empress' dungeons-She probably thinks it keeps everyone in line, which, I mean, I guess they probably have-but, there are definitely some weird things going on around here. Weird noises, weird happenings, so many things that just make working down here...Creepy. And, maybe kinda spooky too.

First off, whenever we're in the dungeon's guard station, just minding our own businesses, there's suddenly a weird howling. Almost like a ghostly moaning, you could say. It makes it sound like the dungeons are haunted, or something... I've tried to talk to the others about it, but they mostly just kind of laugh at me and say, 'Oh, newbie, when are you going to learn?'. Seems like a conspiracy to me... But, thats not the only creepy, spooky thing that's been happening around here!

Someone keeps yelling 'I AM THE GRAND HIGH HAPPY POTENTATE~! FEAR MEEEEE~!",

Whenever I try to access the fridge, there's these STRANGE UNEARTHLY COLORS NEVER SEEN BY PONY EYES,

Weird Increases in temperature, that almost everyone down here keeps complaining about!

Everyday, Corporal Bucks keeps bringing in a live turkey, and some bread, and heads to one of the deep cells, and everyone else jokes about 'Feeding the Leprechaun', which I can't even begin to have a clue about, and, by the end of the day, before my last shift ends, I keep hearing this loud yell going 'DAAAAAYYYYYYYYBRRREAAAAAKKKEEERRRRR!', from the direction Corporal Bucks takes the turkey and bread!

And...The most creepy thing of all is, throughout the day, I can hear the cries of 'I'M NOT A CHANGELING!' I keep asking the others what a changeling, and, they say 'That's need to know, Private'. Granted, it makes most of them uncomfortable too. Except for Corporal Bucks...He just keeps muttering something darkly under his breath.

I can't take it anymore, Sergeant! My curious mind must know, what is with all these strange mysteries? I gotta know! I gotta solve 'em! Sides, I'm on the Empress' chopping block anyway...Might as well solve a few mysteries before she burns me to a crisp, right?

Ponies must know,

Private Flash Sentry

----------

Dear Private Flash,

This- I can't even believe you're doing this. You were already on Queen Nightmare's bad side for siding with Shining Armor in the Prank war. Add one accidental Eclair to a certain Sun Alicorn's face, and, you're just about as respectable as an irritating hobo in the Empress' eyes.

This is seriously stupid...You're the one who joined the guard, after ponies kept telling you your mystery stories weren't as good as you thought they were-though, I personally thought that the stuff you showed me was at least decent-and because your parents wanted you in the guard anyway. Why would you risk that, just because you're bored, and want to go back to previous interests?

Granted, I can't control you. After that stupid stunt, even if was an accident, you are no longer under my command, and I can't help you. And, you know Shining Armor can't help you either, since his hooves are tied.

Just- Just try not to get caught, alright? I don't want to tell your parents that you were executed via incineration...

Hoping for your safety,

Sergeant Merryweather

Author's Note:

Apologies if this chapter isn't that funny, tomorrow's letter for 'Owl's Well That Ends Well' should be funnier.

Hopefully, though, this set up for all the non-episode based chapters until 'Nightmare Eclipsed' will pay off.

Also, have an early release chapter for today, since I'm going to the dentist today.

Comments

[LEGION55]

HAH HE GOT DEMOTED!!!!!

[WorldWalker128]

MerryWeather

I have a little cousin named Merryweather.

[Commander Joe]

I'm sorry but anytime I hear that name all I can think about is a giant green death machine.