Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22

Wish One of our Wonderbolts could do a Sonic Rainboom...

Dear Rarity and Rainbow Dash…

I don’t even know what to say. I am truly, incredibly, utterly baffled by what happened in Cloudsdale. I mean, I thought you knew better, my sister thought you knew better, and, she even thought the Wonderbolts were much more competent than that, and overall better. Turns out, though, we were wrong…

Which is why I’m the one doing this letter to you, again. Daybreaker has taken to ‘whipping the maggots back into shape’. She even has the hat and whistle...Infact, I can practically already hear her now.

‘YOU CALL THAT A RESCUE OPERATION?! MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER, PEACHY KEEN, COULD HAVE DONE BETTER THAN THAT, AND, SHE WAS PROBABLY AN AVATAR OF AN INSANELY HAPPY ELDER GOD! NOW, DO THOSE PUSH UPS, SQUAT THOSE SQUATS, AVOID THE LEGS OF YOUR NEW SLAPPING TRAINING DUMMY! COME ON, YOU MAGGOTS, YOU ARE A NATIONAL TEAM! GET RID OF ALL THAT EXCESS LAZINESS, AND, DO THESE EXERCISES RIGHT, DANGIT!’

They really are looking like kind of a joke right now. Probably having to do with a certain unicorn accidentally knocking her would be rescuers out, because she was too busy screaming for her life and waving her legs around like crazy, to open her eyes…?

Now, I know you were probably scared out of your mind, but, you did so many other things wrong even before knocking the three wonderbolts out of commission…

Rarity, all three of the more common types of ponies have their checks and balances: Earth ponies are not only good with plants, but, some of them tend to be much stronger than pegasi or Unicorns. Pegasi have their wings, and are natural fliers, plus, their weather-based magics make them perfect for weather control. And, finally, there are unicorns. And, while, yes, unicorn magic can be powerful…

You shouldn’t have expected your limited time wings to be able to do just about everything and hold up, especially when flying so close to the sun! Have you heard of Icarus? I’ve only heard this one recently myself. He was an earth pony inventor who flew too close to the sun with his artificial wings, and got tackled by Daybreaker and tossed in a prison for a whole year had his wings melted, sending him crashing back down to the ground to his death!

And, not only that, but, you know about special days and events! You had yours’ ruined by your friends, so, why after everything was fixed, did you decide you would pull a reversal on Rainbow Dash?! Are you really that unperceptive? That neglectful of your friend’s big day? I honestly expected better from you. I suppose I just shouldn’t let myself be surprised from now on…

Rainbow, I know how it can be to feel less than confident in your abilities for a time, especially with how much attention my sister got over me a millenium ago…

But, you can’t doubt yourself, even when your friend is unintentionally sabotaging your efforts. After all, in the end, not only did she end up making a fool of herself, but, you got to show off your grand, spectacular move after all! I mean, I really don’t think just anyone could do it~

...Hmmmmmmm. This may sound a bit out there, but, perhaps you could train yourself to use your new ability for demolition? I mean, think of how many bits you could make doing it! I’m sure you’d make a killing~

Now, to sum it all up: Rainbow Dash, you did good, but, you also need to remember how to remain confident. Rarity, you did horribly, do better next time.

I would say more, but, if I spend much more time writing this, I just know Tiberius is going to dig into that triple layer strawberry vanilla cake before I can...

Here’s hoping you two learn from this kind of thing,

Queen Nightmare Moon

P.S.: Remind your Pink friend not to drink straight from the Rainbow. ...I have also found it incredibly Spicy in the past

Hmmmmm? What’s that, Tiberius?

...Okay, I can’t actually understand what you’re saying, I’m not Fluttershy, but, I’m guessing, ‘I want cake’?

Well, don’t we all~?

Now, be patient. I always like to cut deeeeep before serving slices. It really builds up the anticipation…~

Comments

[Nightingalehound]

Ah... I love this chapter, and I am now making it clear, Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon are better than Celestia and Luna as rulers now.

[Vigriff]

8510095
Without a doubt.

[WorldWalker128]

8510095
Quite possibly true. And that's actually a bit depressing.

[redmar]

This was a good chapter and it does seem that Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon have more common sense than Celestia and Luna. I guess we'll see more about that. I was surprised to notice this had updated again actually now hoping this trend continues.