Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22

Damaged Dogs, Hooves up, Pony

Rarity Belle,

By Order of royal decree-my royal decree-you are to surrender yourself to the nearest Equestrian authorities immediately.

You have no right to remain silent. Anything can and will be used against you, regardless of whether you say it or not. You will not get a fair trial, but one completely and utterly biased against you.

You will be held accountable for the gems you stole! Those were my gems, that was my mine, and you are going to rot, you little-!

Nighty, what are you doing?

What do you mean I’m going too far?!

Yes, I know she’s the wielder of one of the magical rocks! She can get temporary breaks from prison once she admits to her wrongdoing, but, only for national emergencies, and-!

...Fiiiiiiineeeee, I’ll let you lecture her instead.

She better not do anything like this ever again though…

And, I have a couple of other conditions too

~~~~~~~~

Dear Rarity,

I don’t think you comprehend just how lucky you are that I was able to convince my sister not to send you to prison.

I don’t get- I mean, Tiberius doesn’t get cakes for a whole two weeks, and, she’s forcing me to make him wear a muzzle anytime I enter the same room as her with him!

I really should have just let her put you away for good, but, thankfully for you, I’m not petty enough to let my possum and I being temporarily inconvenienced sway me from helping out a mare that I know has some potential, from being imprisoned for life.

Honestly, what were you thinking?! I know that my sister’s been letting her Diamond Dog miners resort to tactics that some ponies might consider cruel and uncivilized in order to increase their workforce, but, you really should have known better than to try and whine your way to getting them to hand over all the remaining gems in that mine.

I mean, really, did you not see the emblems on their outfits, that look pretty much the exact same as your Empress’ cutie mark?

And, really, why wasn’t your freedom enough?!

...Granted, Sapphire does look tres fabulous in her new outfit, and, somehow, I think that’s much improved her performance, but, I don’t know how exactly…

So, at this point, I’ll let you off with a warning.

You do something that stupid again, and, I’ll let her put you away for at least a few years.

So, stop stealing from rough and tumble dogs, and, either find your gems elsewhere, or try focusing on crafting your designs without needing so many blasted gems!

Seriously hoping you shape up,

Queen Nightmare Moon

I’m coming, I’m coming!

What? A package from Shining Armor…?

Well, I guess he finally understands how great I am~

Now, to just open this present, and-

SPLAT!

…

Hmmmmmmmm, Lemon Meringue’s pretty good, and the whipped cream’s pretty decent too

Have to admit, I like his style…

But, of course, I can’t let him do such a thing to his queen, and go unpunished~

Comments

[The Bricklayer]

Oh dear God... Daybreaker's just so hilariously evil and childish, it almost makes you forget she could burn you to a crisp in an instant of she wanted to, the womanchild. Almost.

(Also, nice to see you making up for lost time Day! Missed your letters of insane ramblings!)

[zackepic22]

Well, expect me to try and make it so I can be able to release the Daybreakerverse version of Luna Eclipsed on Halloween itself. XD

And, before then, two more double updates on Friday and Monday, and two Triple Updates on Saturday and Sunday

[WorldWalker128]

Nightmare Moon has been pie'd. For this vengence, 'tis time time to hire a Changeling to pretend to be Cadence trying to seduce him....only to reveal that the this Cadence is a 'Trap'. He'd never be able to look at real-world Cadence again without recalling that.

[redmar]

Empress Daybreaker shouldn't have allowed her workforce to foalnap ponies since of course Rarity would assume they weren't obeying her since she has a rose tinted view of her rulers.