Letters from an Evil Empress

by zackepic22

Party for Science

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I can't believe my mane is still utterly soaked...

We were just having a little prank war! Just because things...Escalated a bit, doesn't mean she had to get involved. Even if she did get accidentally pelted by an eclair at one point.

...By the way, I wonder where Private Flash is. Even though he was on Shining's side in the war, I still miss him. His secret stash of mystery stories always seemed delightful to me. He really did have good taste.

But, anyway, we were just having our fun. Even though we were being competitive against each other, it was still a nice little way to work out some stress.

...And, then she comes along, Firehose stretched out and drawn, and yells 'THERE'S A NEW WAVE OF FUN AT SPLASHTOWN, FOALS!', before promptly having one of her personal guards turn it on, and blasting both of us. She didn't even stop with a simple blasting of water!

It was a full five minutes before she turned the hose off. She said it was because there was so many baked goods and other things in the courtyard, that it needed to all be cleaned up. But, I know better. She spent at least half of those five minutes blasting Shining and I!

She may think she was able to pull the wool over my eyes, but, I know better. She couldn't fool me. I have a feeling she had it turned out for so long, because she got sick kicks out of us being blasted by a firehose...

Anyway, its time to get to the real point of this letter, regarding what happened with Pinkie Pie.

...I want to get to the lecturing first, but, I feel it only responsible we tell you what happened on our end before we did so.

Right after Pinkie, ummm...Cracked, we got word of it, and, my sister apparently thought the best way to learn about this new Pinkie Pie, was from a secret scientific research team, apparently...

Yeah, not only did she somehow get a team of psychological analyst ponies and others snuck in, but, they were able to convince Pinkie, that inanimate objects were apparently her new best friends, without any of you, or even her for that matter, being the wiser. I'm guessing they mostly just talked to her in ridiculous accents, and, assigned those voices to said objects...

I don't- I don't even know why Daybreaker is so obsessed with Pinkie to this degree.

No, wait, that's a lie, because I do know what's caused her to so obsessed! Those dang Buckcraft stories...Honestly, I don't care if he has some good lore, because, from what I read, the stallion was a horrible nutjob, who hated anyone that wasn't an alicorn or unicorn. I could barely get through even one of his books, but, apparently, just because one of those apparent elder gods has real followers, who seem to be strange, yet friendly party ponies, she just can't help but be obsessed with them.

...Honestly, I'm too disappointed with her to even want to lecture you or your friends all that much.

But, what I will say, is that, you should really be careful what you say around Pinkie. I'm assuming she's sensitive about her parties to a degree, and, that means you should take care to keep her from assuming things, like, you being a bunch of horrible ponies, who want to have big, amazing parties, without your best party friend.

I doubt you want a reputation for being a party hoarder, Twilight...

Hoping you will consider your friends' feelings and thoughts more,

Queen Nightmare Moon

Ah, Sister, there you are.

Now, look, I know you're really trying to focus on planning for the Gala, but, that doesn't mean you should-

...Secret mission?

Hmmmmm...That does sound rather fun. But, are you sure I won't miss the Gala, if I do it that exact night?

Siigggghhh, I suppose you're right. I really wouldn't know how to talk to most of those noble ponies, without wanting to shove forks up a certain place...

Author's Note:

Okay, so, after this chapter, its two more Shining going through the dungeons chapters, before we get to the gala.

But, hopefully, most of you guys will enjoy what happens by the end of Flash's exploits through the Canterlot dungeons.