Chris cringed at the memory, knowing he might have already failed his mother's vision for him being perfect for the family. He doubted she would be saying he was a perfect fit now.

Au contraire, I bet you'll indeed be a 'perfect fit'.

Confused by her sister's words, Dawn looked down at herself, finding the same horrible body she always had. “What do you mean? I can still lose a few pounds... even my old coltfriend told me that...”

Her old coltfriend is a fucking cunt! Someone needs to give him a good beatdown.

and then the next he was fucking tossil-spelunking with that stupid, little… fucking whorse of a cheerleader!”

Tonsill-spelunking? That's a new one. I like it!

“Alright,” he sighed. “We… we can see where this goes, okay?”

You've made your bat horses super-duper happy! You will not regret this.

Such a fantastic chapter! More emotional and deep than expected, but I found myself enjoying it even more because of this.

Additionally, this is not only THE single hottest clopfic I've ever read, but it's also one of the best romances I've ever read! You and Pusspuss make for a phenomenal team.

PS: A clean bat is a happy bat!

You don't know how happy I am this got updated. Every time I get an email notification, I pray to Celestia that it is this story...

Well, no shower, but the feels and bath with batpony butts have satisfied me. Man was this well written! I humble myself at your feet oh mighty Max and Puss!

This story deserves a second like.

One day we were snuggling in the park and he was telling me that I meant the world to him, and then the next he was fucking tossil-spelunking with that stupid, little… fucking whorse of a cheerleader!”

fucking tonsil-spelunking

Another great chapter!
Can't wait for more lewd goodness.

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I had actually been holding off on giving this a thumb, that's not to say I haven't been enjoying it but I'm a bit more reserved with what I decide to thumb up or down. However, this chapter really clenched it for me .

This has been a well crafted story, but everything before this felt like the story was just what was needed by the plot to get each couple to have sex, that's not bad by any means, and just its inclusion was enough to make this better than the vast majority of stories which eschew it entirely or make the story just barely enough to get itself done and out of the way of the sex. There were hints left scattered around for those searching for deeper more meaningful characters but they seemed to be haphazardly thrown in and were waiting for the payoff. This chapter though really places this story on a higher tier. I feel like I have a better understanding of these characters, the lives they've led and their motivations, in short they now feel real to me. They've become more than simple constructs to throw together and make them have sex with each other, they have become fleshed out and have graduated to fully fledged personalities.

I'm glad that you have decided to share this with all of us, and I eagerly await the next chapter.
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more

A stray thought and a terrifying realization, last chapter Dawn mentioned how they all inherited their mother's crazy libido and in her heat induced mania, ate through his pants to get to him. How crazy could the rest of them be, what of his mother?!

You know, when I saw that pic and the description...I was confused on that there were 'six' sisters...and seven mares...until, this pop up.

what if the Twins found out

Which can only mean one thing. Double twin fun in the future.

I'm sorry, but no matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to give the slightest fuck about Dawn or any of her hangups or problems.

Watch out for Blue, she may look young, but she has a very old soul. and just as a warning, those little ones can be more than a bit dangerous.

This chapter was so sweet that I now have the beetus.

You're paying for my insulin, gents.

Strong chapter.

Oi!!!!

so much feels!

JESS CHRST!!! I WAITED SOOOOOO LONG FO THIS SHIT!!!! YEEEESSSSSSSSSS

Freaking awesome!

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Quenching her heat will not be enough to fully satisfy his mother, I'd imagine. She's going to be all like, "Now I've had all my beautiful children inside me at one point, how about you be the first to enter your mommy's other holes?" while our good ol' human's brain ceases to function.

This was a great chapter. I don't know if all the side quests will be like this, but it's great to see character development in a story. And seeing just how deep Dawns issues go was very interesting.

8237910 I feel that she's the only one who could ring him dry...
Like only she'd be able to match or overwhelm his virility

A new chapter? Well, at least I have something to look forward to tomorrow, I'm afraid I am too tired to read it tonight.

My regards, Max. I've always loved your work, but now I've a whole new kind of respect for you. And Pusspuss, you missed a Hell of a party, and or fight, honestly couldn't tell which.

HOLY crap!

This story is golden. :D And i really wanna know what will happen when the mother finds out about the relationship they are having. Will she accept it? Will she go nuts? WILL SHE JOIN THE HERD?! All these possibilities is giving me one heck of a headache. D:

...just realised that I didn't upvote this in the beginning....
...lemme just fix that real quick....

Came in expecting a hot tub orgy, left with all of the feels.

This chapter gave me the feels, a very well written chapter. I actually think this is the best so far.

Good lord, this story. I don't think I can properly put into words just how much I love this story. I need to gush for a bit.

The first chapter was hot, the second kept the bar high without feeling like a repeat of the first, and the third hit a home run. All of them had just the right amount of detail without straying into purple prose territory, and the virginity + incest + potential impregnation kink is a personal favorite of mine~

And now, this. This chapter just knocked it out of the park.

It's a rare day when lewd fanfics explore the more "realistic" aspects of relationships, let alone develop the characters outside of sex.
Most lewd stories I've read over-emphasize the lovey-dovey touchy-feely stuff, which ends up quashing the complexities of the people - or in this case, ponies - involved, and the end result falls flat. I can't tell you how many stories I've read where it felt like the author had two sock puppets kissing and rubbing on each other. Here's the part where they confess their love... this is the big anxiety scene... and now they fuck... and finally they cuddle and fall asleep in each others' arms.
I'm sure you know how it goes, because you managed to completely avoid that feeling.

It really is this chapter where the characters involved truly become ponies in their own right.
I was a bit iffy about Dawn when she was first introduced, because she had that generic "daddy issues" vibe about her. But now she's spilled her heart not just to Chris, but to us readers as well. Dawn's unrequited love turned into frustration and grief, and she tried to find love in places where she knew she wouldn't find it, but she still hoped.
Her angst is real, in that it has meaning, it has reason to exist, instead of the unresolved broody angst that pervades so many other fanfics. Now that tension is more or less eased, and the mental image of Chris gently scratching Dawn's ears as she falls asleep in his lap melts my heart.

Moondrop and Blue, and Chris especially, they all feel real. Now that Dawn has that same depth, the entire picture comes into focus, and the four of them feel like they really belong together, as siblings or otherwise. I can't wait to see what the other sisters are like.

It goes without saying at this point, but what you've done here is not something one can find in most lewd stories. It's not even complete, and already this story is nothing short of a masterpiece. It deserves the title of erotica.
The story of Chris and his "batty" family is easily one of my top 5 favorite stories on this site, maybe even my most favorite.

TL;DR: Beautiful work on the characters, amazing flow of story and description, with a nice serving of hot, sweaty loving to compliment it. And to top it all off, it's real, or at least it feels that way so far. I love that, and I love this story.

The penis in my heart is erect. Keep writing, please <3

I'll really do like Dawns character. To have an equestrian feel uncomfortable about feeling naked in front of others is really something you don't see in fanfics on this site. Like EVER! Very original good job! I should know. I have been floating around this site for years now. I am really impressed by how well you fleshed out and gave her character depth and feeling and a reason why she wears clothing and why she is who she is today. Also I hope she continues to wear clothing as its hot as fuck! Please Dawn keep wearing them shirts, skirts and panties. We love you if you do! Oh... and a swimsuit wouldn't hurt either . I'd bet Chris ( who suspiciously feels like a self insert) would love to see you in one as well. The other two honestly just feel like filler characters and really lack any depth and just seem to be there for another pony to fuck. I am a little turned off by the incest, herd nonsense and foalcon stuff (is it really considered foalcon for the other two?), but for Dawn's sake I guess I can stomach it. She is really the star of this story in my opinion.

Mmmm loves in bloom beautiful brides and a handsome groom.

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Why are you still here?

Not bad! A good development chapter, it gives us tons of info on all 4, and fairly well written.

Only a few edits I'd make, and I'll just make a new comment. (I'm just as careful on a second read as a first.)

Man, I wish I can give this story more likes, it deserves it

Only partway through but this jumped out at me so thought I'd let you know.

“I know you’re frightened, little one, and we’ve only just met, but trust me when I say that you’re safe now,” Chris’s new new mother said as she held him to her body with her large wings and forelegs.

New new, lol. Anyway, loved the first three chapters and enjoying this so far.

Dawn is officially my favorite.

Moondrop gives me a headache.

Overral wonderful chapter.

I still think Penumbra wasn't asleep

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Now you're just being stubborn and sour because I called you on your silliness.

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This chapter sucked. Needed more clop. I give it a 2/10.

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Damn, thats a complement. I'm glad you're enjoying this story to the extent that you are.

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I did? Where?

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If you really want to have a normal day beyond this minute, don't click this...

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I'd bet Chris ( who suspiciously feels like a self insert)

Hard to make him a self insert when two authors are working on the same story... So no, he is not.

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H-holy... What in the world... all the triggering.

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All over a good joke too... Ah, no matter, I needed the exercise anyway.

Achievement unlocked: Mucking up in the tub

think about the things that happened these past days and the consequences of it in the hot springs

Achievement unlocked: Crossing troubled waters

have a open hearted talk about the past and the feelings of Dawn with Moondrop and Blue Moon.

And I like to dedicate this song to Dawn. though it's a different franchise and the lyrics need to be changed a bit, I think the message is the same.

I wish I could favorite it more than once!

Awweee! This is so adorable!

8238851 Eh if you say so. Still it's a minor issue honestly and doesn't take much from this chapter or story really. Oh and also get some meat on them bones of Dawn! Gotta get some pudge back in that rump of hers. Also... I am wondering... What is the general age group of the four in question. I know Chris and Dawn is older than him Right? So what is Blue and the other in relation to Chris and Dawn?