As Twilight stepped through the portal, she looked around to take in her surroundings, only to yelp and leap forward as the portal nearly closed on her tail. "Eeyikes!" she murmured worriedly as she checked for lost tail hairs. "So much for going back to check with the girls...or check on Spike..." As she turned to look around once more, her eyes widened as all thoughts of her friends left her mind.
Black towers stood stark in bright green light, arrayed all across the realm in complex patterns, connected here and there by paths of magic. No sun nor moon shone, the light coming from the sky itself and the sea below and between the towers. And covering the walls of the tower she stood atop - and all towers she could make out details on - were uncountable thousands of books, scrolls, and lorestones.
Her delighted shriek echoed over the entire realm. "Oh my gosh, look at them all! There must be knowledge beyond counting in this place! I could spend decades, no eons, just trying to find my way around here, let alone learning everything recorded here! This is some sort of paradise! Oh, where should I start? Should I just grab a book and start reading? No, I need to be methodical. One tower at a time, top to bottom and clockwise? But all those stairs! I need to find the card catalog first! Or-
"Perhaps start by asking the head librarian," a disgruntled voice growled from behind and above her.
With a startled but suppressed yelp, Twilight leapt into the air and spun around. She found herself facing a floating creature that was a mass of shadows, eyes, and tentacles...and several of the eyes were looking at her with disdain. "S-sorry for the noise," Twilight squeaked out quietly. "It's just...so many books!"
The figure sighed theatrically. "Yes indeed. Quite the point of pride for me." The figure swept forward.
"I...there must be millions!" Twilight squeaked out.
"123,456,789,0AB to be exact," the figure explained.
"Zero-A-B?" Twilight repeated. "So that's a minimum of base 12..." Her face screwed up in concentration.
"Base 25, actually," the shape corrected. "Much more efficient once you get to these volumes-"
"But that's more than two and a half quadrillion books!" Twilight squeaked out in surprise. "2,587,007,151,703,386 to be exact!" She began to hyperventilate from excitement.
The figure turned a couple more eyes her way. "Quite the quick mental calculation you made there," it observed idly. "You might actually be worth talking to for a few minutes after all." The shape turned so the majority of its eyes were pointing in her general direction, giving the impression of facing her. "Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Prince of Knowledge. Now who are you, what are you doing in my realm, and am I wasting my time? Seriously, with the 'Oblivion Crisis' falling through, I have so much reorganizing to do, and quite a bit of the predictive libraries will have to be shifted into historical fiction if not completely scrapped. And of course that's his fault, not that I can do anything about that anymore, and why haven't you answered my questions yet?"
Twilight jumped back in response to that snarled demand. "I-i-i'm Twilight Sparkle!" she stammered quickly. "Discord said I had to find an artifact-"
"Oh, of course it's him!" Mora snarled as his tendrils writhed angrily. "He thinks just because he's Daedric King now he can tell us to drop everything for one of his games! Of course, he can...but that's still no excuse! Does he have any idea how much work I have to do here? In addition to all the reshelving, I need to make several new towers to hold the knowledge that will be coming in from all those other worlds he's letting us look into!" The writhing became less frenzied and more...unsavory. "So much delicious knowledge..."
"So...he's been good for you overall, then?" Twilight asked carefully. "I mean, that 'Oblivion Crisis' thing...wars aren't really good for librarians, are they? Or libraries for that matter. No time to read if you have to dash out to fix something, or constantly getting interrupted..."
"Yes, I suppose you have a point there..." Mora admitted ruefully.
"And all those new books coming in!" Twilight crowed eagerly. "I mean, I can't imagine having time to read all these as they are, but I get the feeling you're some sort of ageless eternal being who's been around for a long time, so you probably have-"
"Collated them all myself," Mora confirmed. "Even constructed most of them after personally harvesting the information."
"So new books must be wonderful for you!" Twilight insisted. "Finally, something new to read!"
"Yes, I suppose you're right there," Mora allowed reluctantly. "As frustrating as it is to admit, I suppose Discord's changes have...overall been an improvement." All eyes locked on Twilight. "But if you tell him I said that, I will make you regret it. I have an entire tower dedicated to torture methods, both physical and mental, including ways to keep the victim alive through it."
Twilight let out a startled meep. "D-duly noted..." She paused as she noticed a small cabinet - small enough she could easily clutch it in her forelegs - that she hadn't seen before glowing. "What's that?"
Hermaeus Mora turned. "What? Why is my card catalog...why that bastard!"
"Huh?" Twilight inquired curiously.
"This is the artifact that Discord sent you to find for this 'game' of his, and the conditions for its revelation and acquisition was getting me to admit his reign has been an improvement!"Mora snarled angrily. "Well, too bad! This Card Catalog lets anyone who holds it remotely access all the properly sorted knowledge in my Realm, and that Knowledge is mine! I'm not sharing!"
"What?!" Twilight demanded angrily, her eyes going hard. "But that's not what a library is for! A library is for sharing knowledge freely with anyone who seeks it!"
"Well too bad!" Mora snapped back. "My realm, my rules, and I say membership only, and I'm not giving out membership cards willy-nilly!"
"I won't stand for it!" Twilight roared in fury. "If it's your realm and rules...then I challenge you for this Realm and that card catalog!"
Hermaeus Mora burst into laughter. "You? Challenge me? I'd like to see you try. Test your mettle against-"
Twilight's eyes glowed white, her mane and tail bursting into flame as her coat turned white from the sheer amount of magic she was releasing.
"...oh, wait...you're from Discord's world..." Mora murmured softly. "That means you don't use magicka...oh bugger..."
A massive explosion rocked the entirety of Apocrypha.
Twilight giggled like a filly as her new crown sat crooked on her brow, the precious card catalog clutched in all four legs like a favorite plushy. Hermaeus Mora sighed as he crawled out of the crater he'd been blasted into. "Well, can't win them all. Should have expected this after Discord. Cursed Cranko..." He floated back into the air. "Guess I'm out of a job, then."
"Not really," Twilight corrected. "I mean, I'm still mortal. I wouldn't have time to read half these books, let alone organize them. I need you to do that for me, especially since I'm likely going to be busy in Equestria."
"So...Assistant Librarian, then?" Mora groaned. "Well, better than nothing. At least I'm number two."
"Four, actually," Twilight corrected again. "You'd be number three assistant."
"Number three?" Mora demanded angrily. "Who would you rank above me, Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Prince...well, former Daedric Prince of Knowledge?"
"Well, Spike's been with me forever, and I couldn't displace that little dragon for anything-"
"Dragon?" Mora interrupted. "Well, yes, I'm not about to step on a dragon's toes...especially not one that doesn't need magicka. I'm arrogant, not suicidal."
"And then there's Owlowiscious, my nocturnal assistant," Twilight concluded. "He's number two. Flew in one night to catch a scroll that blew away."
"An...an owl?" Mora demanded. When Twilight nodded, he exploded in fury. "I'm subordinate to a fucking owl?"
Twilight giggled and blew Hermaeus Mora a raspberry as a portal opened, sucking her into the Shivering Isles.
Hermaeus Mora lifted his tendrils skyward. "CURSE YOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" he howled to the uncaring heavens.
That was a fantastic chapter. I knew Twilight would somehow out-nerd Mora.
And that voice isn't all that far off of his actual voice, at least in Skyrim.
Edit: Here's all his lines from Skyrin and its Dragonborn DLC:
Somewhat less manic-sounding than Zurg, but overall similar.
Huh, and this is pre Alicorn Twilight. Oh shit, the other lords don't stand a chance.
This is so perfect!!!
7887681 I pity those who have to face Pinkie. She will break their minds.
i will guess Hermaeus Mora would flip if he knew that Spike is just a child.
i wonder which pair is next.
oh i bet Pinkie and Sanguine will become BFs fast since both like parties (even if Sanguine like parties of the naughtier kind)
poor herm mora... he just lost head librarian position... PERMENENTLY
Tatsurou you are wonderful. Today is my birthday and you did the chapter I voted for and in a funnier way of Twilight winning than I expected. Keep up the good work.
7887733
Happy birthday!
I had a feeling that Twilight was going to rage-shift after ol' eyeball-and-tentacles started being such a sore loser.
"...oh, wait...you're from Discord's wrold..."
"O" and "R" beckwards.
So how many of those books are self help that she can immediately skip now that she has the knowledge of a world at her fingertips
While we may not get to directly witness the grand cratering, I'd like to think that this bit of music was involved. Or that could be my sleep-deprived mind speaking!
Wonder what's going to happen if the Dovahkiin shows up...
I just realized hehehe I'm not sharing something new step mother something hehehe something. Because why bleep not because Discord is gonna need to run towel through his brain to figure out how it happened.
Eh, not a big fan of them being able to beat the Daedric prince. I honestly hope Discord wins this though.
This is good. Very good.
Guess Mora went Owl eyed when he found out who his superior was.
Twilight lording over Hermaeus' realm is probably gonna give him Cardiac arrest.
I wonder if Hermaeus sharing is now in the Realm of possibilities.
Huh, so that's how Discord wins this, huh?
But here is the next question, does Twilight still become an alicorn in this universe and is she immortal if is does?
While I did NOT get my Pinkie quests, THIS SO MADE UP FOR THAT!!!!
Go Ragelight
I have a feeling that Discord is planning something with this. I mean if Twilight is technicly a daedric prince now she rules Hermaeus Mora's realm, is Discord her king?
this was pretty funny. I can't wait to see who is up next
I got sick of reading Hermaus Mora in his sloooow draaawl, with these long sentences so I gave up.
I also know what Discord's up to. One way or another, the Mane 6 will become Daedric Princes. Discords the Daedric King. They can't hope to beat him. They have to swear fealty.
7887794
Please, PLEASE rewrite that comment. My brain hurts from trying to understand it!
7887930
Hermaeus Mora: Waaaagh now I'll never be head librarian again
Twilight: Yay forever to read all the books in the multiverse.
Admittedly, I kinda want to see what happens if Hermaeus Mora meets Owlowiscious, and it ends up being Wan Shi Tong from Heart of the Dragon General, based simply on his reaction to being ranked under an owl.
7887733 Happy Birthday to you good sir/madam ~ ^-^
7887939
Not sure. I mean, in the original timeline, the Hero of Kvatch replaces 3rd era's Sheogorath after he is destroyed, becoming the Sheogorath seen in Skyrim, but that's not what we're dealing with. Mora's not dead and Twilight's not becoming a writhing mass of tentacles and selfishness. Share that knowledge with best nerd you bloody glorified squid.
Although, I would not put it past Discord if that WAS his plan, but then he would have essentially betrayed the Princes who stood by his side by replacing them. Of course... If all he was replacing were the ones who fought him for the position of King, I would applaud his skills in dealing with them almost permanently.
7887976
That was the point no one is supposed to understand if it helps any where I put Bleep you can insert a curse word. As for the towel bit well he is creature of chaos as such I think Discord could literally run a towel over his brain.
as for the stepmother thing look inward to the inner shipper he/she will understand.....remember which daedric prince is going last and who's with him.....
The knowledge of an entire world at her hooves... so much new magic...
Let's all say a prayer for Tirek, the soon to be utterly doomed idiot.
Edit: Heh... and I just realized! She becomes and Alicorn! Hermaeus Mora is doomed to be fourth best for eternity!
7888009
It still doesn't make sense. Saying "it doesn't make sense" doesn't change anything. You can have it not make sense, but if it's not understandable than its just spam.
It's not understandable.
So if Hermaeus is Zurg, then... does that mean Seekers are Brain Pods...
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/d/da/Seeker2.png/revision/latest?cb=20130210000231
And Lurkers are Grubs?
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/c/c3/Dragonborn-trailer-14.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20130206164817
...
...
Yes. So much yes.
7887718 have you even read You can't spell Slaughter Without Laughter I MEAN look at pinkie there she's super sex crazy along with every other kind of crazy
I feel bad for the guy, not only is a god like being just forcibly shoved to the side by literally everything cause reasons, but also the fact that he just lost everything he owned to a fucking unicorn, a baby dragon and a god damned owl. Seriously there's a difference between slapping a guy for being a jerk, and kicking a guy in the dick and stomping on it cause you can
Anyways great chapter as always, keep up the good work
Well, Wayne Knight's Zurg does sound similar to Hermaeus Mora. Poor guy can't catch a break.
This would be funny if I didn't feel so bad for Mora. Poor guy. I honestly hope he gets his library back at some point.
7888045
Ha yup i would love it if pinky new about the multiers and about her table dancen and stallion scaring counter part...RELEASE THE PINKY!
7888045
wow calm the caps lol
7888171 true probly should change that one sec
EDIT: there better
7887792 I regret to inform you that since it only took Twilight 1 hit, there probably wasn't enough time for Discord to press the play button.
That works. Wonder how Mora'd react to Wan Shi Tong? I'm probably butchering the spelling on that.
Holy shit that's a lot of books.
Point taken.
I'd make a Rapidash joke, but it's too easy.
Fair point. He may not be very strong NOW, but given time...
SOMEBODY GIVE THIS MAN THE HIGHEST OF FIVES!
And you would need to why?
7888359
Wait, it was just one hit? *Goes back to check* MY IMAGINATION SAYS OTHERWISE! But my imagination's an idiot. Thus, I bow to your superior logic. Also, HI!
7887718
Check out Tatsurou's blog post, it has the final order list.
does this make twilight daedric princess of knowledge?
7887738
7887993
First off thank you both. Also I just re-read the chapter and realized something, Discord made Twilight into a princess (yes I know the title is Prince no matter what the gender among those guys but bare with as I make my point.) before Celestia could. How much do you want to bet Sun-Butt is going to be raging when she finds out?
How dare you make the best thing ever. I'll never be able to un-read that and stop hearing Hermaeus that way.
this is amazing thank you so much this just makes me so
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V-KAKX8Qf68]
this chapter. . . Not gonna lie I'm a little mad that you made twilight win so easily, not to mention that you gave her his whole damn realm, I highly doubt that Hermaeus would EVER put his realm and ALL the knowledge in it on the table.
7889399
He didn't.
Discord did.
7888076 don't tell him about the dragon being a baby. His pride is hurt enough as it is.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.