The Road Trip of A-Holes!

by Sense of Humor

We are Groo--I mean, Family

"Groot? If you can hear me, hurry up! I’m not sure how long Quill and Trixie can keep him distracted!" Breaking out of the struggle he was had been easy when the tentacles mysteriously disappeared. Rocket urgently looked around at the noises of battle, uncertain of how long they had, especially with the twig being so unhelpful on the other end. "Just hurry you idiot, Yondu, I think we’re about to blow!"

Yondu slowly got up from the ground, staring at his broken arrow. With a frown, he picked it up and handed it to the raccoon. "Take this and Get to the ship!"

Rocket growled. " Not without Quill!"

Yondu featured to the fast-approaching child, using his vine arms to pull himself towards them faster. "You need to take care of the twig!"

"Not without you!" Derpy exclaimed as she approached them, still wheezing from the strangulation earlier. "We all get out of this alive!"

Yondu shook his head slowly. "I have ta get him...I ain’t done nothin’ right my whole damn life, yeah? You need to...to just give me this."

"...Bleeding hearts of the world unite…" After an uncomfortable stretch of uncertainty, the woodland critter finally relented in his demands and procured objects to offer. "...A spacesuit and an aero-rig. I only have one of each."

Yondu silently took the offered items, with a soft nod of gratitude when he actually received them. Though Derpy looked unhappy with the decision, she offered no rebuttal or argument to make him join them. The tiny being hopping onto her shoulder, however, had a few choice words. " I am Groot!"

Yondu raised an eyebrow. "What’s that?"

Derpy narrowed her eyes at him, reluctantly cracked a smirk and answered: "Well...He says, 'Welcome to the frickin’ Guardians of the Galaxy.'... Only...he, uh, didn’t use 'frickin', exactly...I won't say the exact word. Heh."

Yondu nodded in acknowledgment to that, to the one who spoke the greeting. " Bye, twig."

They lifted off into the air, after that and raced towards the giant exit in the ceiling. Rocket glanced back at Groot's cheeky grin with a shake of the head. " We’re gonna need to have a real discussion about your language."

Derpy scoffed. "Oh please, I know he got that from you."

They soared up past the surface and towards the ship, something Drax had done a few seconds prior to them upon reading he wasn't being dragged down anymore. The Pegasus and the Raccoon scooted to a halt inside the open bay doors, unloading whatever they carried with them into the core of the planet. They were surprised to find Gamora, Nebula, and Maud already in the ship and tending to various wounds on each other.

Rocket groaned in disappointment. "How'd you guys get here so fast?!"

Maud blinked slowly at him. "I shot us down on an elevated slide through the soil and rocks, then used our momentum to catapult us back up through the surface just high enough to reach the ship. Simple rock mechanics, really."

Gamora looked behind them. "Where's Quill and Trixie?"

Derpy confidently smiled. "Last we saw of them, they were handing Ego's butt to him on a silver platter."

Rocket closed the bay doors with the press of a button. "We gotta get to orbit, at least. Wait for Yondu to bring those two to us."

---

Ego kicked Quill off of him and watched as he was flung into the ceiling, but it left him open to an attack from Trixie--who bucked him hard enough to whip some of the bones in his body. They only thing stopping his momentum was a well place stalactite, and then the plateau right behind that one. Whatever Trixie had vomited on him had made him weaker somehow, not able to move as fast or efficiently as he desired. He got up from the rocky surface slowly, his clothes and face a little more than torn and dusty. When he did get to his feet, it was in time to witness a boulder sailing straight for him. With a mighty leap, Ego smashed through the rock and got a reward in the form of a punch from his son.

Quill held onto him to deliver more painful punches to his face, and each one greatly diminished the older being's strength. He kicked off his son again and both made controlled landings on different plateaus away from each other. Trixie joined Quill with her horn glowing brighter than it ever had and uttered a single word to her ally. "Pull!"

Without much hesitation, Peter dug his hands down into a good portion of the plateau and lifted with all his might. A hefty chunk of the rock was flung right at Ego with blinding speeds, and the showmare finally got to do what she intended to do with it. In an instance of bright light, the rock chunk was now but a chrome steel Teacup ready to crush anything in its path--which happened to be Ego. While it did eventually hit him, he recovered from it fast enough to create a giant hand that slapped it away. Angry, Ego used the entire plateau to make the hand absolutely gigantic as a means to squash them all the way down. The Plateau itself shattered from the impact of the palm striking against it, but Trixie teleported them away from the threat of injury and they both landed on the back of the hand. With a blast of green and a lightning bolt of cyan, the two of them created a beam of intense heat rivaling that of nearby stars. Needless to say, Ego's body was turned into floating bits of dust.

But then the ground rumbled. From the debris of the plateaus, a figure began to form--a two hundred foot tall replica of Ego's body fashioned out of the rocks towered in the distance, already rushing forward to destroy them. Unphased, rocks collected around Trixie and Quill's bodies in almost a flash to form whatever things they desired to appear as. As Ego neared, Quill floated forward as a one hundred fifty foot yellow ball with black dots for eyes and a gaping maw. Trixie stomped forward as an all too familiar looking dinosaurian creature, with a bear-like stance and blue-glowing dorsal fins. All three charged towards a colliding point: Ego with a desperate yell, Trixie with a high pitched kaiju roar and Quill with the lively sound of Pacman.

When all three collided, their rocky forms broke apart. But the combined strength of our heroes once again knocked Ego away from them, leaving them floating in midair and planting for breath. Although for one individual, it didn't take long for him to recover. "That was awesome!"

"It was!" Trixie perked up. "You were a giant beach ball!"

Ignoring that gravely incorrect statement, Quill laughed. "You were Godzilla!"

The pony furrowed her brow. "What's Godzilla?"

"...you mean this whole time, you just imagined a monster you haven't even s--!"

"Childish! The both of you! Treating all of this as a game, " Ego said as he rose from the rubble, very bruised and fed up with the fighting he'd had to endure in a weakened state. "The fate of the universe is as stake because of you!"

"Duh!" Trixie scoffed at him. "Why do you think we're fighting so hard?"

The Living Planet balled his fists angrily. "You'll have to join me sometime. We could literally fight forever, "

Quill narrowed his eyes at him, smirking. "Yeah...but you don't have forever, do you?"

At first, the statement confused the older celestial and left him silent. But then he looked to the core surrounding his heart and bellowed with fear and outrage. Before he could even fly forward very far, Trixie and Quill tackled him into the rubble-littered ground and tried to hold his wrestling body there. Even if he elbowed one of them hard enough to let go, the other was still there to hold him until the other recovered. Shifting from anger to fear of his arriving death, Ego fought as hard as his weakened form could fight. "No, we need to stop it!Stop. STOP!" He gripped Starlord by his shoulders and stared into him with a pleading expression. " Listen to me! You are a god! If you kill me… you’ll be just like them. You'll grow old! YOU'LL DIE!"

Peter started him coldly in the eyes. "What’s so wrong with that?

The core exploded.

Like brittle ice in the way of heat, it broke apart and melted into nothingness as the batteries engulfed it in their fiery embrace. The reaction was almost immediate for the older celestial, who Quill and Trixie watched closely. His face paled with fear despite the angry look of resentment forming. "Y...you'll-l b-e j...oining me..n de-ath...o-g..gugl..lg.." With sickening noises of bubbling oil, Ego's old man face caved in on itself and his body soon disintegrated into giant amounts of floating dust. As the dust settled upon their clothing and their fur, Trixie and Quill couldn't help but shudder at the final words. Was it just something meant to make them regret their actions? Was how he died an unknowing jab at their fates?

They would know a few years after this, but knew nothing but shivers now.

---

The Dairy Queen patrons all cheered and clapped when the giant blob became nothing bust dust on the restaurant building. As everyone began to shuffle back inside in eager participation of a good burger or chicken sandwich, they became aware of a strange humming sound in the air. People looked up to see a very familiar Avenger slowing to a halt in the air.

Iron man looked at the chaos now gone, then sighed.

"Now she's really gonna kill me for this."

---

Spike looked out of the train window again and shrugged to the girls behind him. "Nah. I don't see anything now. Just a bunch of dust."

Rainbow Dash,limited in her movement by the fresh wounds from Earth, settled for slumping against the window. "Then why aren't we moving?! The giant blob is out of the way now,"

Applejack waved some of that dust away from herself, while Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rarity tried their hardest not to sneeze. She chewed the eraser end of her pencil as she stared down at her crossword puzzle book, a courtesy of the train staff. "Y'all...what's a seven letter word for…'Obvious Foreshadowing for another Story with sad deaths'?"

Starlight wrinkled her snout. "What? What kinda book are you--"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Twilight perked up. "Awkward!"

Rarity smiled. "Bizarre!"

Pinkie stuck out her tongue. "Cuttlefish!"

"...thats ten."

"No, silly! That's a fish!"

---

The explosions of the planet around them forced the duo out of their thoughts; forced them to look around at the planet literally crumbling around them as it died. StarLord nervously and mentally timed the rate at which this was all happening. "Uh...This is all coming down a lot faster than I thought it would."

Trixie enveloped them both in a giant bubble, which bounced harmless in place despite all the sharp debris raining down on their heads. She bounced towards the only visible light in the cavern now and spotted Yondu racing towards them as well. He reversed his direction to fly alongside them, and together they ended up getting back up through the tunnels of soil. They exploded from the surface as the once colorful world they walked on now started to suffer from speaking earthquakes. The land masses jolted and quivered as time went on, but they started to see less and less of all the dying parts of the planet when they finally entered the atmosphere and escaped the planet's gravity. From there, all three of them watched as the planet swiftly imploded on itself into the tiny form of a speak, only that for that speak to pop with a high flash.

Then there was nothing.

Ego was dead.

Trixie was hoping to see happiness when she looked in her ally's direction--but she saw the direct opposite of that. Quill's teary eyes stared down at where the planet used to be, silently looking back on the memories of his mother...now knowing that the man she loved had been killing her slowly the whole time. The whole time his mother lay in pain on her deathbed was because of Ego. He may have killed Ego, but he could never kill what he did. Nightmares of him would come, and there was little he could do about it. He slowly looked at Trixie when she placed a hoof on his shoulder.

"Trixie is tr...I...am truly sorry, " She muttered in sorrow. For him; for his life. "That your father was who he was. And I'm more sorry about your mom."

Quill didn't know what to say to that. The bubble shifted slightly, and he turned to see Yondu next to it in his space suit. His old eyes were usually filled with regret and pain, but now the blue man's eyes were overflowing with admiration and happiness."H...He may have been your father, boy...but he wasn’t yer daddy." He said to him with growing tears. "I’m sorry I didn’t do none of it right--yer childhood...but... I’m damn lucky you’re my boy."

Trixie nodded a long time after he said that, practically tearing up herself. "And I couldn't think of a better cousin than you…" She slowly frowned, a bit sheepish. "We...we're still cousins, ri--oh!"

Quill wouldn't let her finish that sentence, his arms wrapping around her for a right hug. Trixie, though surprised, certainly want going to pass up a mushy hug if no one was looking anyway. They hugged for a half a minute at the least, unil Trixie pulled away to grin sheepishly. "So...I take that as a yes?"

"Ha! Yeah, Trix. "Peter turned to Yondu and smiled his way as well, arms still wrapped around the pony. " I think we're shaping up to be one screwed up family, huh Pop?"

Yondu chuckled to himself. "I reckon so, boy. You, me, and all your friends, "

Trixie looked at them both curiously, ears raised in anticipation. "So...what now?"

Peter stared at her quietly, before a shape got his attention outside the bubble. He saw their giant ship approaching at slow cruising speed, getting ready to pull all three of them in from the vacuum of space. He could see Gamora in one of the windows; while he couldn't make out her expression from his distance, he could tell she was happy to see him alive by her body language. Peter looked down at Trixie again, smiling.

"Let's take you guys home."

Author's Note:

Alright! One last full chapter and an end credits scene chapter!

Then it's off to Endgame!

Comments

[DullDragon2070]

Whoa! Youndu lives?!

Awesome!

I guess that does make sense, having Trixie, Maud and Derpy along for the ride would change how the events from GotG Vol. 2, even just a little bit. … they need to add a Maud emoji already!

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

"Ha! Yeah, Trix. "Peter turned to Ego and smiled his way as well, arms still wrapped around the pony. " I think we're shaping up to be one screwed up family, huh Pop?"

Uhh... Ego died.

[Sense of Humor]

9582485

That's how screwed up the family is! It had me making horrible writing errors!

...im just gonna fix that now.

[Boltstrike58]

Yay, Yondu's alive!

[diablo4000]

9582702
Boo Yondu alive....no no don't get me wrong! Yondu was a awesome character, but his sacrifice and death really hit hard, yet he died as a father for Quill. That what made the sad ending bit so good, and his funeral and the song perfect.

[JDPrime22]

Got a little teary-eyed at the end with Trixie and Peter. Dammit, you got me with that hug.

Also, I think this needs to be addressed:

As the dust settled upon their clothing and their fur, Trixie and Quill couldn't help but shudder at the final words. Was it just something meant to make them regret their actions? Was how he died an unknowing jab at their fates?

They would know a few years after this, but knew nothing but shivers now.

And this:

"Y'all...what's a seven letter word for…'Obvious Foreshadowing for another Story with sad deaths'?"

Starlight wrinkled her snout. "What? What kinda book are you--"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Twilight perked up. "Awkward!"

Rarity smiled. "Bizarre!"

Pinkie stuck out her tongue. "Cuttlefish!"

"...thats ten."

"No, silly! That's a fish!"

Clever girl.

[Sense of Humor]

9583724
*velociraptor smirk*

[Ether Space]

Cuttlefish, eh?
Favorite reference on the Citadel.

[Rhettbutler]

Different but nice

[Rhettbutler]

9582734
I agree but it's sometimes good to change up stuff
Still though I agree. His death made it that much more meaningful for the movie

[Paulli]

9583726
Godzilla and Pac?! Now that's wack!

Y'all...what's a seven letter word for…'Obvious Foreshadowing for another Story with sad deaths'?"

We... might not feel so good everypony...

Boo best Mary Poppins-Daddy Yondu lives? Eh shit. But hey, at least we got that song in the Zoon right?