The Road Trip of A-Holes!

by Sense of Humor

The Calm before

No one could know for certain just how long they'd been warping around the cosmos, but they were certain that the ride was finally over. The ship suddenly came to an abrupt drift over a specific planet, and the sudden change of momentum had nearly everyone sprawling on the ground. Deroy pulled herself up with a groaning grimace, then bolted back over to the mirror. To her relief, everything was back to the way it was before the 700 jumps-- eyes included. She trotted back over with a happy pep in her step, just narrowly the waterfall of vomit Groot coughed up. “We’re alive!”

“Of course we're alive, ” Rocket snorted from his position face down on the floor. “I'm the one who piloted.”

Yondu somehow managed to pick himself off the floor, swallowing bile reluctantly.“What th’hell you doing, boy?!”

“The way you went on about him?” Rocket leaned back against the stair steps to catch his breath. “I can tell this Ego guy ain't so squeaky clean. So we're goin’ down there ta save Quill!”

“For what?” Kraglin sneered and his limped his way over to them, not quite certain if his intestines were in the right places. “For honor? For love?”

Derpy grinned even brighter. “Aw, Rocket! I knew you still cared about him!”

The raccoon snarled at that jumped to conclusion, scoffing. “Pfft--No. I don’t care about those things! This is the perfect time to prove I’m better than him! When I rescue his sorry tail, I’m gonna lord it over him forever.” He grinned wolfishly at Derpy's exasperated sigh, but found a different noise coming from the blue ravages leaning against the glass. He tilted his in confusion; who laughs in response to that kind of explanation? “What are you laughin’ at me for?”

“Ah, you jes’ the most pompous thing, ain't ya?” Yondu shook his head at him in mild disgust and loathing. “Y’ can fool yourself and your little friends, but y’can't fool me. I know who you are, rat.”

Rocket rolled his eyes dismissively, picking his teeth with his claws. “Eh, You don't know anything about me, loser.”

Yondu narrowed his eyes. “ Boy, I know all about you. I know you go around playin’ like you're the biggest and the hardest son of a gun out there, but actually you're the most scared of ‘em all,”

Rocket’s fur stood on end, evidently starting to be riled. “Hey, Shut up!”

Derpy slowly backed away towards Kraglin's side, along with a nervous looking Groot. “Uh, Yondu, maybe you sh--”

“I know you go around stealin’ batteries you don't even need, and you piss on anyone who's willing to put up with you, ” Yondu went on, as if he couldn't hear either animal and began walking towards him. “ 'Cause just a little bit o’love reminds ya how big an’ empty that hole inside you actually is!”

The Raccoon was up on his paws now, dangerously baring his teeth but not willing to do anything, oddly. “ I said shut up, ya big blu--”

“I know them scientists that built you up, never gave a rat's ass about you! Tossed ya out as soon as they was finished!”

Rcoket's angry demeanor faltered into something more anxious, and his ears folded back against his head. “I-I'm serious, dude! Back o--”

“Just like my own damn parents who sold me, their own little baby, into Kree slavery!” Yondu leaned down to his height with the utmost seriousness in his raspy voice. “ I know exactly who you are, boy…because you're me.”

The silence was filled by shaky breaths and a choking aura of awkwardness. As the blue pirate and the raccoon remained silent, Derpy rubbed the back of her head. “...That was…”

Kraglin looked down. “Profound?”

“No….Intense. Super intense.”

“I am Groot.”

Rocket eventually sighed, then silently stared up at Yondu. “Man...What kinda pair are we?”

Yondu didn't know how to respond to that at first. From this point, it would be easy to just move on to different stretches of the universe, to find new and better things than what was currently in front of them. With that thought, the blue Ravager turned his sights back to the giant world beyond the glass. “...The kind that's about to go fight a planet, I reckon. Kraglin, take us down.”

“Alright! Now we can final…” Derpy stopped herself in mid-flight and exchanged a confused look with Rocket and Groot. “Wait...planet?”

---

Mantis probably should have expected this to happen, given how abruptly Gamora rampaged into the room and made a beeline towards her.

All the same, she still gasped for breath as she was half-strangled against golden interior of the wall, and Drax gasped for understanding of just what was going on. Not only did Gamora charge in, but Maud and that cybernetic sadist as well. He blinked owlishly at everyone that entered the room, and then at Gamora probably trying to kill Mantis. “Gamora, maybe you should--”

The Jade warrior pressed harder still, gritting her teeth. “Who are you people, really?! What is going on?!”

Maud glanced at Nebula standing nearby, who seemed ready to have to yank her sister back. She held up a hoof to give her pause, then cleared her throat. “Gamora, you are going to break her neck before she can tell us anything. Let her go.”

“The skeletons in the caverns, ” Gamora growled. “Who are they?!”

“...y-you are...s-scared…” Mantis wheezed as she reached up, then placed a single finger against her attacker's green skin.

The reaction was pretty much instant. Gamora threw her to the ground with a terrified yelp, then backed away with an amplified sense of fear in her eyes. She stared at her trembling hands in confusion, even as Mantis slowly retained her breath and her previously taken footing. “W-What did she do to me?!”

Maud nudged her cyborg friend's leg. “She's an empath, by the way.”

Nebula nodded. “Hmm.”

Drax helpfully blocked off Gamora's access to her in case she worked up the courage to try again, grimacing. “She already told me everything. Woke me up not too long ago to explain.”

The Grey pony turned to the bug woman with a mildly raised eyebrow. “Explain what?”

Mantis coughed, timidly rubbing her hands around each other. In croaking words, she explained exactly what they saw down in the caverns and went into worried detail about why Quill was brought for Ego. As she finished the explanation, Gamora seemed more worried than ever and even more anxious to put a stop to this whole thing. She clenched her fists and started for the door. “ We need to find Peter now, and get off this damn planet.”

Mantis shook her head sadly. “Ego will have won him to his side by now. If he claims him and your pony friend--”

Nebula nodded. “ Then we just go. Leave them to their own undoing.”

Gamora shook her head firmly. “ No, sister! He’s our friend.”

“Friend? Really?” Nebula asked sarcastically. “All any of you do is either yell at or try to kill each other. You're not friends. Not even close.”

A stretch of silence followed her truthful words, but as was becoming a usual thing, Drax spoke up with some profound words. “You're right… We are not friends...We're family. We leave no one behind.” He paused and pointed at the two monochrome individuals. “Except maybe you and you and your other pony friends.”

Nebula incredulously stared at him, then at Gamora's pleading look. With a frustrated sigh, the woman conceded. “I'm gonna die...surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.”

As she followed Gamora out and Mantis followed her out, Drax and Maud exchanged glances as they followed. “What happened to your face? You are as revolting as Mantis’ feelings for me.”

Mantis whirled around, kicked him in the shin and then turned as if nothing happened.

Author's Note:

Big things to come...

Comments

[Paulli]

Who... in the hell do you think you are?! You should learn to grow up!

[JDPrime22]

About time Mantis learned to stick up for herself. Hehe... can't wait for next chapter.

[DarkSkylynx]

It was then Nebula understood Gamora.

[Rhettbutler]

Nice setting up the finale

[Paulli]

9496983
Guess who's back, b**ches?!