• Published 20th Aug 2017
  • 2,862 Views, 355 Comments

The Road Trip of A-Holes! - Sense of Humor



Seven entirely different beings embark on the weirdest trip.

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Prologue: Bringin' gifts from far away

34 YEARS AGO

Missouri, Earth:

"And there's a girl~...in this harbor town! And she works~... layin' whiskey down!"


She felt happier than usual today. And why wouldn't she? She was with her Spaceman, after all.

Meredith smiled the more she recognized her gleeful feelings today, and those feelings flowed like water into her voice when she vocalized. The present company driving them down through the countryside of Missouri wasn't the only thing making her so giddy and light. One of her favorite songs by Looking Glass, blaring as loud as the car radio could make it; loud enough to be heard over her own voice and the sound of wind rushing past the red automobile. Her hand was clasped around an invisible microphone, singing as if she were actually apart of The famous band of five, and as if her Spaceman was her crowded audience. After all, like an audience, he was completely into the song and nodding his head as he smiled. She loved that smile of his.

"They say, Brandy~...fetch another round:" She attempts to vocalize at the same depth as the real singer and ends up sounding really off, so she tries to go back to her original pitch as if nothing ever happened to her voice. She playfully slaps his chest when he laughs at her, his voice drowned out by the constant rush of wind. It doesnt matter; she knows his laugh well enough for giggles to riddle her own singing. "She serves them whiskey and wi~ne!"

Her audience laughed again, but sang himself in a few seconds, pleasantly surprising her and making her grin all the wider. His voice was rich and dreamy just listening to it; it was the voice of someone any girl could fall hopelessly in love with."The sailors say: Brandy~! You're a fine gi~rl;What a goood wife you would be~ee..." He pointed at his own handsome eyes, hidden by dark sunglasses, with two fingers and used those fingers to point at her own eyes as well. " Yeeeah...your eeeyes...could steeal a sailooor... from the se~a!"

She bit her lower lip with a smile and turned her head to hide the flushing color in her cheeks. Meredith was treated to another fine view of the land around her; hundreds of acres spread out on either side of the road with no fences or other man-made elements to spoil the pretty sight. This wide canvas of land grew mid-height grass as far as the eye could see, which wasnt very far at all, and was painted a lively watermelon's green, a fantastic contrast to the mostly cloudless blue sky that sat above their heads. This was definitely a special day for her, and a special day for her Spaceman as well. She felt that she would remember days like this for years to come, for the rest of her good life; when it was just her and her Spaceman caught up in each other's eyes and embrace and love. When they cared only for each other, ignoring practically everything bad coming their way in life.

Ignoring.

The smile on her face fell ever so slightly at that word, but her postion didn't allow her Spaceman to see that. Ignoring was what she did to get past her parents and some of her friends and their hasty judgment of her lover. They didn't like him very much, for reasons she didn't want to think about or remember right now, when she was having such an excellent day. They didn't know any better anyways. They didn't know him like she did, so they immediately disliked his eccentric mannerisms and that was their loss. Anything negative they had to say about him would just be ignored from now on. No one could get between them; they were thick as thieves and then some.

She tossed her head back at a slow speed, letting the wind from the sun-roof sift through her lengthy blonde braids and locks like an invisible comb. Her hair floated upwards like a kite and provided a cool sensation for her scalp as the car never lost its current speed. She sighed, the sound lost to the wind and the slowly ending song. A look at the driver seat told her he looked just as content as she did, and she smirked at that thought. "...I thought you were a Spaceman, not one of the missing members for Looking Glass. " She mused when the song ended shortly.

He laughed a little at her quip. "I'd hate to brag, but I think I'm above Looking Glass. " Was his response. "And you? You're not so bad yourself. Missed a few octaves in the middle, but it's passable."

"Missed a few octaves? Passable?" She could barely stop giggling, so trying to imitate an offended voice was out of the question. "I'm better than you, ya jerk!"

"Maybe." His shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. "Juuuust maybe."

The conversation trailed for a few more minutes, and they both just took the time to appreciate the scenery and the pleasant feelings fluttering through them like butterflies. They often shared quiet moments like this, and they both knew better than to spoil those precious moments. Eventually, her gaze returned to him once again. "So...still not gonna tell me what this cool thing is, hmm?"

"That sounds just about right. " He said mischeviously, eyes discovering something in the nearing distance. "That's the point of a surprise, Meredith."

"Hmmph." She pouted and crossed her arms like a toddler. It was just like to be secretive about this the whole way."Can you at least tell me where this cool thing is?"

"...Riiiiight here, Sweetheart! Right here."

Meredith followed his line of sight to rest her gaze on a building that was fast approaching them, one that got more familiar as they approached it. Seeing the full title caused her to scoff in disbelief and roll her eyes. "If I'd have known the surprise was a Dairy Queen, that we go to all the time, I would've called you crazy." It was disappointing to her, to say the least, but there was still an opportunity for a memorable time by coming here. They made a lot of those at this restaurant after all. "Guess I can do that now, at least."

"Oh, it's not the restaurant." He explained as if he knew some kind of inside joke that she didn't. It was frustrating, but in a good way. "Just let me park, and I'll show ya, Meredith."

She still pouted, but silently agreed to wait while he pulled into the driveway. A few other couples walking in and out of the doors of the restaurant tugged at the corners of her lips, as the thought of joining them entered her mind. By the time that thought was finished, her Spaceman had finished parking and was opening the door for her like a billionaire gentleman would for their billionaire woman. Flattering, yet a common thing for him to do with her. "Alright. You ready for this?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Meredith grinned.

He led her by her hand to the back of the building, where a downwards slope rested, heavily clouded with foilage and panning out into a large forest that seemed to hold no pre-carved paths or any cut down trees. But her Spaceman didn't seem to care at all, given how he eagerly tugged her down the slope with him and had a bright grin on his face as if he wasn't occasionally tripping over roots. "Down here then!"

"Oh my gosh, are you serious?" Meredith's voice spilled over with giggles as she was carefully guided down. His strangeness today was amusing, even if it did make her wonder why the surprise was in some restaurant's backyard. "All the way down here, you silly--!"

"Yes, come on, River Lilly. You'll love it, I promise!" He leaped over a small creak at the base of the slope and then helped Meredith to cross over it as well. "It's not too far away now! Little further."

They traveled a longer length of the woods, smiling and laughing all the while until a clearing was visible just a few feet ahead of them. So this was the spot he intended to take her to; at first she thought he was just showing her a good spot for a picnic on sunny days like this. but then she saw what was in the very center of the clearing surrounded by other flourishing stems of plant life. A single egg-like plant around the size of a watermelon glowed a blue color. It held huge purple leaves around it with hollow spaces like a spider-web of some kind, but the bright colors it brandished made it seem much more peaceful than a spider-web. The very center glowed like a nice blue lightbulb in a world green, maybe even rivaling the sun's brilliance or the moon's too--when night fell. Meredith tucked a few strands of hair back behind an ear so that she could better see the plant, cooing in amazement as it pulsed more of it's beautiful light into existence. "Wow, It's gorgeous! How'd you make it like that?"

"Meh, I'm just good at what I do." He said nonchalantly, sounding rightly smug with a work of art like this. "You like it?"

"I love it." Meredith announced, her voice nothing but impressed with the plat. She looked back up to him as he wrapped an arm around her middle. "This is the kind of work you do as a Spaceman?"

"My only work. Feels like my...our sole purpose! It's been sent out to other places not far from earth, but I was worried that the roots wouldn't take to the soil here. But it does! It does!" He waved his hand skyward, eyes distant as if he were imagining an amazing future. "And soon, with a lot of work, I should be able to let other planets have a plant just like this to call their own!"

"Other planets?"

"Yes, other civilizations! Maybe the Kree, maybe the badoons, that place with the freaky horses...Oh!" He snapped his fingers at a sudden realization. "If I can enter peacefully, I'll get the Skrulls one of these too!"

"Well...I don't have a clue what you're talking about!" Meredith offered in the most supportive voice, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Whatever he did and wherever he went, she would go with him. "But I like the way you say it."

There was sigh, one that sounded...no, it wasn't disappointment. it was lovestruck. Yes, that's what it was. "Ah, my heart is yours, Meredith Quill."

Smirking, she began to slowly lean in towards her lover and he did the same. "I can't believe I ever fell in love with a Spaceman."

The only response she got was a gentle kiss.