The Road Trip of A-Holes!

by Sense of Humor

Prelude to Battle

The entry doors closed behind them with a metallic slap, then sealed with whirs and clicks. Gamora stalked her way to the pilot seat of the ship as promptly as possible, so Maud decided to trot anywhere but that area for now. The bipedal alien wasn't mad per se, but she just didn't see eye to eye with pony on the subject of Ponyville's government. Not to mention her beliefs made her quite the stubborn partner, stubborn enough to refuse the slightest argument to her morals. She was still a rather enjoyable person, regardless of it.

Speaking of thoughts, her own were interrupted by a masculine cough meant to get her attention. Drax, with his personal dagger in one hand and a sharpener for it in the other, motioned for the mare to wander over. "Your combat skills are most impressive, small four-legged creature. I haven't seen such since the battle of G'Kaaza, where our warriors rode on valiant beasts much like yourself and trampled over the bodies of our victims." He began when she was close enough, nodding in respect. "Perhaps eating you wouldn't have been such a great idea after all. Where did you train?"

"A rock farm." Maud shrugged.

Drax furrowed his brow. "You grow rocks and harvest them?"

Maud sat down in a comfortable position, careful not to jostle Boulder. Poor little guy was all tuckered out, and snoozing against her chest. " We don't live near a volcano, so no: we don't grow them. Harvest? Maybe. Sometimes. I recently moved from the farm with a degree in the study of rocks and metals."

Drax openly laughed and shook his head, drawing a blink out of Maud. "Did I say something funny?"

"Drax just doesn't like people smarter than him."

"Bah! Degrees! They are merely perishable pieces of paper that make others feel stupid. Only thing they are good for is telling the temperature and keeping a fire going." The burly being rubbed his chin at that, dangerously close to stabbing himself with his own blade. Noticing this, he he held it up in front of her face with a childish grin. " Smart, four legged beast! Tell me what kind of metal this is?"

Maud didn't even bother to scrutinize the blade. "You're from another planet, and this probably is too. How would I know what kind of metal this is?"

Drax smirked proudly. " Ha! Shows what you and your degree knows! It's Omnium."

"That is not Omnium," Gamora piped up from the front with an annoyed sigh. "It's Murmasa. This whole ship is made of Omnium, Drax. "

"I am Groot." A particular creature laughed loudly.

"Oh, shut up."

Drax grumbled a bit more as he went back to sharpening his blade, and Maud went back to walking along. She spotted Derpy standing patient and still beside Rocket, who was busy tightening a strange vest around the pony's torso. Upon further inspection, she noticed several flowers were braided into the mare's blonde mane and Groot was admiring it as an artist would admire his own painting. She stopped to watch more closely, and Derpy offered her a nervous grin. "We're testing out this temporary flight pack designed specifically for us in case of emergencies. He's pretty good at his job." She flinched when the raccoon tightened something near the back, and he apologized promptly. "And I'm like his personal sidekick or something."

"Actually, you're more like a Guinea Pig, or a lab rat or somethin'. Groot's my sidekick." He corrected, reaching for a small remote and flipping it button-side up. He cleared his throat and took a few cautioussteps back. "Okay. Here's the first test. Cross your hooves and hope this doesn't blow us all up."

"Wait, what?"

The instant Rocket's clawed digit pressed the button, a brief flicker of energy erupted from Derpy's left side and exploded into a jet stream of fire. She didn't even have time to blink before she was tossed sideways, and then completely over on her back. The made, flipped over yet still in place, blinked as the fuel expired quickly. "...Hey. " She said with a start. "What are you guys doing on the ceiling?"

"I am Groot!" The tiny being squeaked, pulling himself out from under the grey pegasus. "I am Groot, I am Groot!"

"What? Pfft! I didn't do that on purpose! Must be faulty wiring." The raccoon fought hard to contain his snorts and chuckles, helping Derpy to her hooves with a giggle. "Let's just...snrrkt! Make the adjustments and forget about--hehehe-- the whole thing!"

Maud gestured to Derpy with a hoof. "She's a pegasus, you know. She can fly on her own just fine."

"Well, since you were off trying to be bad▪ss with greenie and your other friend is talking her lips off with Quill, I was limited on test subjects. "

"She's willingly talking with him?"Maud made the closest expression she could to a look of surprise.

"Yeah." Rocket nodded. "I'm scared too."

Almost as if on cue, a pair of mildly laughing beings crawled out of the shafts beneath the floor of the ship, the first being Quill. He was still trying to speak between chortles, and helping Trixie out by her hooves. "So there I am, caught up right in the middle of the arguement, and those big bruisers didn't even notice me walk out! Through the front door, Trix!"

Trixie gave an amused, yet surprised gasp and playfully shoved his shoulder."You're kidding! You had to have crawled out of there! You couldn't have just left like that!"

"I sh!t you not; I walked out with the molecular duplicator, and freaking waved goodbye to them! I flew away in this very ship and none of them them chased me!"

"That is just too hilarious!" The unicorn calmed her laughter for a moment, a surprising smile still on her face. She wasn't expecting to get along so well with someone like Quill, given his outward appearance and his personality right off the bat. But he was quite similar to her in respects such as having a thing for theatrics and maintaining a perfect facial structure, among smaller things. And boy did he have a lot of stories to tell, just like Trixie did. She wasn't even sure how long they'd been swapping tales about misadventures they'd had. The only other acquaintance that she actually enjoyed with as much was Starlight.

Starlight.

It almost made her frown thinking about her friend who was billions upon billions of miles away from her, but an approaching earth pony distracted her from thinking about it more. "Oh, HI Maud." She greeted plainly, as if she hadn't been laughing just a few seconds ago. "How long have you been back?"

"Three minutes."

"That's nice." Trixie turned back to the human eagerly. "And what about that elephant creature you mentioned? What's that story about?"

Gamora unfortunately cut off the man before he could begin to speak, never looking back at him. "Approaching the Anulax platforms. Should I land off to the side?"

"Yes please. I like this ship, and I don't want it getting messed up because we parked too close to the action. " Peter turned to the rest of his main crew, bolstering odd looking weapons at his side and putting on a red leather jacket. "Alright A-holes! We know what we're here to do! Let's get out there and surround them. Don't let it touch them and keep on your toes. It'll be really embarrassing if someone gets eaten alive."

"Ooh! Can I bring out the big bomb?!"

"No." Peter simply. "No you can not."

Trixie prodded the captain's leg and puffed out her chest proudly. "I think that you'll be needing a little pony power in this one! Namely me, and maybe Maud...for like, cheering support."

Derpy squinted at her. "You left me out on purpose, didn't you?"

"We're leaving you all out, actually." Gamora had finished landing the vessel a few seconds back, and was now putting on a vest of some sort for protection. Her sturdy eyes landed on Quill and only him. "We can't just bring them into a fight. They're untrained and they're basically citizens."

Quill shrugged. "That's not what it looked like with Maud."

"Maud...may have done well," The woman admitted reluctantly. "But this time could be different and worse. So they're staying here till we finish up and take them home."

A duo of disappointed groans filled the air, along with one extremely monotone sigh that somehow blended perfectly with the others. That, combined with Quill doing a horrible attempt at a puppy dog face, made Gamora facepalm as hard as he could. While ignoring the sting left on her skin from that, she sighed as well.

"But I guess you could watch from the sidelines."

Author's Note:

Extra long battle scene next chapter!

Comments

[JDPrime22]

Ooooo! Getting into the first battle of the movie! Love it!

I'm hoping Derpy dances with Groot during the fight.

[Rhettbutler]

Finally!
So excited for what comes next and the shenanigans that come with it