You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Death

Source

Night Blaze couldn't of been more happy. She had the greatest school, greatest friends and she seemed to be great at almost everything... That is, until she was murdered. The young mare was alowed to come back... just in a, um, different state.

Rated TEEN just in case. There may be some... um... more violent cases in this fiction... Just a warning.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 4
- Newest First
- Oldest First

The_Random_Something

The_Random_Something #1 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

Well, that was a really stupid way to do a cliffhanger... I should really change it.

Whooooo lives in Equestria under the clouds? Rain-bow Dash-y!

-The_Random_Something

LucidTech

LucidTech #2 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

I feel like the story would be better if you cut out the intro to the chapter, it doesn't really add anything and just seems slapped on. At the very least I would ask that you change it to a proper intro.

Also, the general consensus for spacing of paragraphs is a break between each one.

Just some suggestions, take them as you will.

Jorofrarie

Jorofrarie #3 · Jun 30th, 2012 · · ·

I like the setup, just work on the pacing/descriptions a little bit. I feel like the plot's a little underdeveloped. Apart from that, good work. I'll be expecting more...