• Member Since 8th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 6th, 2012


Comments ( 14 )

This is my first pure comedy story so please give me critiscim! Thanks a bunch!

I could go for some pizza right about now...
-The_Random_Something :rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh:

haha, not too shabby from what I saw. Just a couple of grammatical errors or so, but they aren't that big of a deal...

The ending was funny :twilightsmile: funny concept. One Spike for ya :moustache:

:pinkiehappy:Thanks! ... I had issues with my grammar?...:facehoof: Great. I am shamed! :raritycry: I'll go fix them.829881

829933 Not too many, nothing that would really bother anyone, so yeah!

Shame is not necessary!

829956 Alright. I fixed the ones I could see. I usually capitalize things I don't need to like when I said 'the Princess' instead of 'the princess'. I also noticed I said 'Startlight' once! Ugh.:facehoof:

829972 if it helps any, there are groups designed to go through stories and proofread for you, just in case you miss things, or maybe you can learn something you didn't know :pinkiehappy:

Or you can read through them a dozen times and make sure everything is correct, like myself, which sometimes doesnt work haha

829982 Yeah... I really should get an editor... Maybe on my next story! :rainbowwild:

I've heard this joke before from a Jerry Clower routine, except it had a Pastor and a Deacon. Not the funniest joke, but still a goody!

830044 Yeah I know, I had just heard this from a friend and thought I'd make it into pony form. Oh well!:twilightblush:

PFFFFFT OH GOD. :rainbowlaugh:

Twist ending: Celestia was standing on that tank on purpose.


830126 :twilightangry2: God, I should've used that. Oh well! :twilightsmile:
830385 :rainbowdetermined2: Thanks!

I made piggy noises.:pinkiecrazy:

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