Every Row Has Its Thorns

Restaurant Row. Once a dying district caught between ponies who venerated the word of one reviewer and ponies who wanted to taste something when they ate, the Row had begun to thrive under the patronage of the latter... and those of the former who realized they did not need to sacrifice flavor to have "good" food. A variety of smells permeated the air, beckoning the hungry to sate themselves. And for most hungry ponies, this was all the invitation they needed. But for one pony, standing at the edge of the Row, only five words gave voice to her thoughts.

"What am I doing here?"

The young unicorn mare beside her turned her head with a smile. "Getting lunch with me, of course. Now come along." The two started forward.

"Yes, but... here?"

The light blue mare giggled. "Well, one would hardly expect them to specialize in food at a boutique."

"Hmph."

The two passed -- against the older one's judgment -- through the door of the Tasty Treat. While not full, most of the tables were occupied, with Coriander Cumin happily taking orders and bringing food. Minuette, Twinkleshine, Moondancer, Lemon Hearts, and Lyra were having a lively conversation; Orange and Sea Swirl chatted over their meal; and the Script brothers, Written and Silver, seemed to be engaged in a loving gaze match with Golden Harvest and Parasol, their dates.

"Ah!" he said, noticing the new customers. "Welcome t--" It was then that he noticed that one of his customers was Zesty Gourmand, looking as judgmental as ever. "You."

"Now, please," said the younger of the two customers, "no need for a squabble. The reservation is under my name: Diamond Mint, party of two."

Coriander quirked an eyebrow, not fully pacified, but he would do his job, nonetheless. He checked the list. Indeed, her name was there.

"Right," he said. "This way." He led them to a nice table with two seats by the window.

"Would you like a menu," said Coriander, "or do you already have something in mind?"

"If you would pardon my ordering for you, Ms. Gourmand," said Diamond Mint, before turning to Coriander, "bring her something with just the slightest hint of flavor, please."

"But--" Coriander started to protest.

"I am not asking you to feed all of your customers this way," said Diamond Mint, cutting off the protest while trying to look ingratiating, "just Ms. Gourmand."

Coriander fixed her with a look. "Fine," he said. "And to drink?"

"Mineral water," said Zesty tersely, after a pause.

"And for you?" said Coriander, after noting the order.

"I have heard," said Diamond Mint, "that the flat noodle soup is excellent, so I believe I shall go with that. And a chai tea, two sugars."

"The word of a dressmaker and a... whatever the pink one is," said Zesty.

Diamond Mint chuckled. "Even dressmakers and party planners-slash-bakers need to eat, Ms. Gourmand."

"Okay," said Coriander. "Your orders may be a few minutes, but I think that at least you will find it worth the wait, Miss Mint."

"Eheh..." said Diamond Mint, looking sheepishly at Zesty as Coriander walked away. "I will admit that I also read a review in the paper. That clinched it."

"Oh?" said Zesty, mildly curious. "Whose?"

"None other than Green Sizzle and Roquefort Apértif," Diamond Mint replied.

"Bah," said Zesty. "They're just like the rest. Can't enjoy their food unless it's overloaded with flavor. And Apértif is supposed to be a wine and cheese expert! What's he doing reviewing... anything else?"

"Perhaps it's because their tastes are more like the average pony," said Diamond Mint, "that the average pony can use their reviews to... make a good guess as to whether or not they might enjoy it themselves."

"Are you calling my reviews useless?" asked Zesty, glaring.

"No, not at all," said Diamond Mint, waving her hooves. "I'm sure there are ponies of similar tastes. Your reviews would be quite useful to them."

"...Very well," said Zesty. "But you are saying that my tastes make them useless to the average pony."

"At present," said Diamond Mint, "because you have taken into account only yourself. Ms. Gourmand, has anyone ever told you that you are a supertaster?"

"...Once," said Zesty. "That was when I decided that, since I was so super at tasting, my work must entail being the ultimate food critic."

"I'm sorry to have to say this," said Diamond Mint, "but that is not what that means."

"But..." said Zesty, "what else could it mean?"

"It means that your taste receptors are more sensitive than average," said Diamond Mint, "so when you eat something that the average pony says is delicious, you are simply overwhelmed, and cannot enjoy your food. It is rare enough that most ponies don't take it into account when they cook if you don't say anything, and you may very well have been the first pony to bring such a thing to their attention."

"Then what do you suggest I do?"

"Well, for one thing," said Diamond Mint, "continue reviewing, first from your own perspective, then from others. After all, your tastes are not 'bad' or 'weird', just unusual. And as I said, other supertasters can benefit from your going in and seeing if they can and are willing to prepare food that you would enjoy. As for others... perhaps while we wait, we might listen to those who have been served...?"

Zesty quirked an eyebrow, but did so.

"I am so glad you urged me to give this place a chance, Min," said Lemon Hearts. "When Pinkie said it was 'good' earlier, I was suddenly struck by the memory of her putting hot sauce on a cupcake and eating it. But this... oh, wonderful!"

"Isn't it?" said Minuette, with a giggle and a grin. "I've gotta admit, I wasn't sold on coming here at first, but when I heard what that Whinneapolis guy said, I realized it was true. I hadn't had a tasty meal at the Row in quite a while."

"Yes," said Twinkleshine. "I only came to the Row when I had to meet somepony high-class for a business lunch. I may have to change that now."

"We always have good food in Ponyville," said Lyra, "but I'm glad to have a place like this now when I'm the one visiting!"

Zesty looked at the bespectacled pony. She hadn't spoken, but her eyes were closed, and she was smiling as she chewed.

Then, she trained her ears over to the Swirls' table.

"...such unique décor!" said Sea Swirl. "It's really pretty!"

"Yeah," said Orange Swirl. "I wonder what it all means..."

"Ah! So you are interested in the decorations of my home?" said Coriander, approaching them. "In that case, let me just write this down for you..." Taking pen in field, he wrote on his pad, then tore off a sheet. "This is the best reference book I've seen when it comes to that subject. The Canterlot library definitely has it, but if you're not from around here, perhaps your city's library will have it, too."

Sea Swirl giggled. "Actually, it probably does," she said. "Thanks, I'll be sure to check it out."

"In the 'peruse' sense," said Orange Swirl, "not the 'remove it from the library' sense, of course."

"Of course," smiled Coriander, and went back to the kitchen.

Zesty heard nothing from the Scripts or their marefriends, but perhaps she could take their mere presence here as a point in favor of The Tasty Treat...?

"And here are your orders, mahilaon," said Coriander, "one flat noodle soup with chai tea, and one roti with rice, made with no spices whatsoever, and mineral water. I hope you enjoy."

"Thank you," said Diamond Mint. "I'm sure I will."

Coriander gave a quick bow of his head and returned to checking up on the other customers, watching for new arrivals, and so on.

Zesty spied Diamond Mint watching her expectantly, so she took some of the flatbread and rice and ate. True to Coriander's word, nothing had been used to flavor the rice, and the roti had nearly no flavor, as well.

"Oh wow," she said. "I must commend you and your daughter, sir. This is the best meal I've ever had here."

Coriander almost couldn't believe his ears. "R-really?"

"Yes," said Zesty. "I had some hard words to say in my last review of this place. I believe my next article shall be a retraction."

Coriander gave a chuckle. "Thank you very much," he said, and turned to the kitchen, starting toward it. "Hey, Saffron! You'll never believe what just happened!"

Diamond Mint started with her own food. She didn't mind waiting to give her own impression of the soup; she would have opportunity later. Particularly since Saffron had come out of the kitchen and was approaching their table.

"Did... did I hear my father correctly?" asked Saffron. "You're really going to write a good review of the Tasty Treat?"

"I am," said Zesty Gourmand. "I have been given a fresh outlook on things. I will be taking this young mare's advice in writing my reviews, and paying attention to those around me as well as listening to my own sensitive tongue. You were able to serve a supertaster such as myself, so you may very well see more, not only of me, but of others."

"And you will be quite welcome," said Saffron. She turned to Diamond Mint. "And how are you finding your soup?"

"Delicious," said Diamond Mint, "as expected from the Tasty Treat."

"Very good," said Saffron. "If there's anything else, or when you're ready for the check, my father will be around." She returned to the kitchen to relieve her father.

"You are an interesting mare, Miss Mint," said Zesty, after a sip of water. "You somehow managed to convince me to return here, even though I knew my presence would not be welcome, all to not only gave me a new perspective, but perhaps give at least one restaurant's owners something to think about."

"Hmm?" said Diamond Mint, "Oh, no, that wasn't even my main purpose for meeting you. You see, Diamond Mints, Inc. is interested in developing a line of mints for those like yourself with sensitive tongues. I'm thinking of calling the new version 'Curiously Weak', but that is still up in the air..."

Author's Note:

I apologize if "mahilaon" is inappropriate to the situation. I don't actually know Hindi, but I tried to research it as well as I knew so I wouldn't use a word meaning "lover", "mother", "female noble", or "goddess", as I saw in some of the other Hindi translations of "lady". If you know a word that's better suited to the situation, please tell me, and I'll fix it.

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