The Adventures of Berry Punch

by PaintedNovel455

AlicornNews: Why Are The Apple Trees In The Shape Of Apples?

Berry Punch stood in front the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. She wore a fancy suit that only covered her top half. Also, there was a camera crew following her around.

Berry Punch spoke into a microphone, that levitated in front her. “Today we are at the infamous Apple Orchard. And today we investigate why all the apple trees look like apples.” Berry Punch’s camera crew followed her, as she trotted over to the barn door.

Applejack swung the top of the door open, “howdy Berry. What’s with ta camera?”

“It’s a conspiracy,” the camera stallion shouted.

“What da hay,” Applejack muttered, raising a brow.

“We’re on to you! We all know what you do to those trees,” Berry snarled. “Why are the shaped like apples?”

“Ah don’t know! Ask Celestia.”

Berry got closer to Applejack, so close that their muzzles touched. “Or is that what you want us to think. The truth shall be revealed!”

Applejack ducked away, “Ah think you’re drunk. So… Bye!” Applejack slammed the door.

Berry turned to face the camera, “see! She’s hiding something, and tonight we’re gonna figure it out. Don’t go anywhere folks, AlicornNews will be back after a word from our sponsors.

---

After a word from their only sponsor, We-Suck-Leaf-Blowers, Berry lead the crew over to an apple tree.

“Look! The Apple Tree is the shape of an apple! I call shenanigans,” Berry cleared her throat. “One theory I have is the work of GMO’s. GMO’s, genetically modified oranges, have been outlawed but they once were VERY popular. GMO’s make apples bright red or green. Like these,” Berry held up a shiny apple. “THIS! Is why their cider is so good! This! Is why the trees are they way they are!”

Berry held up a sign, it read: SAY NO TO GMO! She began to chant what the sign sign said for about a minute, as a hotline appeared on screen. After a few minutes the AlicornNews ended and an infomercial about necklaces came on.

---

Berry sighed as she flew into the living room. “Another wonderful day!”

Colgate tsked, she sat at the living room the TV on Channel Two. A reporter stood in front Sweet Apple Acres, where protesters were chanting “Say No To GMO.”

“Here we are at Sweet Apple Acres, as you can see there have been protests and riots, all in outrage after local wine-enthusiast, Berry Punch the Alicorn reported GMO use in the Apple Family products. If true then the Apple family could face up to twenty years in federal prison.” The reporter paused as stock images of Berry Punch, Applejack, and Granny Smith flashed across the screen.

And for a split second a random stallion with a big forehead appeared, his face being a recolor of Pepe the frog.

“Anyway, this is causing quite the commotion. Lester?” The reporter said. Berry sunk into the couch, mouth agape.

“Oh MY Celestia….. Did you see that stallion with the big forehead?!” Berry asked. Colgate facepalmed...sort of.

“That’s not the point, the Apple family could be arrested. We need to fly down there and straighten things up!” She said.

“But I was about to crack open a new bottle of Chocolate Milk,” Berry whined.

“Too bad, go down there and say you were joking!” Colgate said, “and do it quick. Sonic the Hedgehog is coming on at 9 o’clock.”

“Okay, come with me for support.” Berry stated, she bent down so Colgate could hop onto her back. They then shot into the air.

---

The Apple Orchard was hell. Hippie ponies had resided on top the barnhouse. Their vans being parked under the shade of the apple trees. Berry swore she saw Rick Astley, was she being Rick Rolled? Tree Hugger lead the resistance, she sat on a throne made of GlutenFree Wood.

Berry Punch arrived and everypony bowed to her.

“Oh Great Almighty Berry! You have saved these poor apples from the harmful GMO,”Tree Hugger said, getting of her throne to bow as well.

Berry Punch chuckled, being to sweat. “Well you see. There isn’t actually any GMO in their apples.”

“Darn tootin!” Applejack called, she had been tied upside down to a tree.

“And, I made that story up for...ratings...hehe,” Berry Punch said. The crowd gasped.

“She made us populate the air getting here, for nothing!?” A hippie stated.

“ATTACK!” Fluttershy snarled.

“Fluttershy?!” Berry and Colgate asked in bewilderment. Berry and Colgate screamed as the crowd galloped forward, Berry tore into the sky, Colgate levitating behind by her tail.

“We. Are. Screwed.” Berry said. Right then and there it would have cut to commercial, if it had been an actual TV show. However it didn’t.

“No we aren’t! What do naturist love the most?” Colgate asked.

“UH...being naked?”

“Right, so if we dress in all clothing then they’d be so offended they’d stop caring.” Berry huffed and zeroed in on her emergency stash of clothing. Why she has one you ask? Why are you asking you ask?

After Berry Punch and Colgate dressed in all clothing, they made their way out onto the street. Being spotted immediately.

“THERE THEY ARE!!” A stallion shouted.

“AND THEIR WEARING CLOTHES! EWW!” A mare stated.

Tree Hugger dropped her all-natural pitchfork, “ehh. Let’s riot somewhere else.” And the group dispersed.

“YEAH!” Berry Punch jumped up. In a flash, white text with black behind it appeared next to her, giving an 3-D, which it read: “Bad Foal.”

Colgate jumped up too, the text reading: “Ultimate Wing Mare.”

More text appeared reading, “cameo by: Rick Rolled!”

Neva gonna give you, neva gonna let ya down!

Author's Note:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTMqgv-k_eQ

Comments

[Just_Me123]

Well, this story is delightfully random, I hope more chapters inspire you.