Chapter Eighteen
Sunset and Trixie stood on the front lawn of Canterlot High, facing the statue that served to cover the gateway to Equestria. Trixie carried a suitcase with her DVD collection in it, while Sunset had her laptop. School had gotten out an hour ago, and except for them, the area was deserted. Trixie looked to Sunset, eyebrow arched. “Twilight really said this was a matter of interstellar importance?”
Sunset looked to Trixie, but rolled her eyes. “I'm sure, and stop doing the Vulcan eyebrow!” She waggled a finger at Trixie. “And no saying something is 'fascinating' or how you're a doctor, not... something else.”
Trixie held up a hand. “All right, sorry. I'll keep it to a minimum.” She waited a handful of heartbeats before continuing. “Besides, I'd say I'm a magician, not something else.”
Any retort was cut off as Twilight emerged from the portal. She barely broke stride as she looked to Trixie and Sunset. “Oh, I'm so glad you're both here!” she said, smiling.
Trixie thumped her chest. “But of course, Twilight! Whatever you need help with, Trixie and Sunset shall do our best!” She paused. “So, what is it you need from us?”
Twilight swallowed. “Trixie, I need you to help me to learn how to read, write, and speak Klingonese.” She looked to Sunset. “And from the both of you, I need as much information as you can give me about Klingon culture, politics, and history. The fate of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants may depend on this!”
Trixie slowly blinked. She looked to Sunset, then back to Twilight, then to Sunset again. “May I arch my eyebrow, now?”
Sunset nodded. “Go right ahead, Trixie. I'll be arching my eyebrow right alongside you.” She deliberately turned to Twilight, leaned in, and arched her right eyebrow high. “Could you please start over at the beginning?”
Trixie looked down at her suitcase. “This actually makes sense.” She looked up at Twilight. “Why us? And why do you want this information?”
Twilight looked back to the statue and waved a hand at it. “The crews of both ships have been going through the television episodes and movies you let them copy. Spike and I had lunch with Captains Kirk, Kang, and Mara this afternoon. And Kang was... pretty darned pessimistic about his chances to effect any positive change to the Empire.” She looked back to the two. “I want to try and help him as much as I can, to form some sort of plan, but my knowledge about the Klingons is... limited at best.”
Sunset slowly nodded. “And you want Trixie and I to, what, teach you about the Klingons?” She scratched her head. “Wouldn't it be better for you to ask Kang directly? Or, I don't know, ask for some sort of information-exchange with them?”
Twilight shook her head. “I've asked Kang and his senior staff a lot of questions, and they've answered as well as they could. But I don't know how long they'll remain. And once the K'naiah's Pride leaves orbit, I'm not sure I'll have a reliable means to communicate with Kang.”
Trixie nodded and rubbed her chin. “That's very... logical, Twilight. Meanwhile, Trixie and Sunset shall be here to aid and advise you whenever you need!” She suddenly thumped her chest, then thrust her fist out in a Klingon salute. “SoH vaj boQ jIH neH Qu', choS Sparkle!”
Twilight slowly returned the salute, her right eye twitching slightly. “Thank you... I think?”
Trixie chuckled. “That means yes, Twilight. I'll help in any way I can.”
Sunset reached out and squeezed Twilight's right shoulder. “So will I, Twilight.”
Twilight looked to her. She covered Sunset's with her own hand, beaming. “Thank you.” She looked to Trixie. “And thank you.” She let out a breath. “I should warn you both. This isn't gonna be a short project. Spike's already told me he's gonna make sure I don't stay up for a week straight and give Kang a half-flanked plan that would cause more harm than anything. I can't plan for everything, but I have to make sure what I present to him is as comprehensive and thought-out as possible.”
Trixie stepped back. She slid her feet out and jabbed a finger at Twilight. “Never fear, Twilight! No matter what, Trixie will help you steer the course and teach you Klingon language and customs! You shall know the Way of the Warrior! This, Trixie, daughter of Jack Pot, swears!”
Twilight and Sunset stared at Trixie, silence descending upon the three. Sunset finally clapped her hands together. “Okay! Twilight, do you have a timetable worked out? A schedule?”
Twilight rubbed her chin and started pacing back and forth. “I want to get started as soon as possible, but I also don't want to interfere with either of your schoolwork.”
Sunset waved her off. “I think this is important enough that we can both work around things or cut back on other activities.” She looked to Trixie, eyes narrowing slightly.
Trixie planted her hands on her hips and leaned towards Sunset. “Do you honestly think I'm not going to put my all into this?”
Sunset held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, sorry! I should've realized after your little... declaration how seriously you're taking this.” She looked to Twilight, still pacing a bit. “When do you think you'll know more about what you need from us?”
Twilight stopped pacing, her back to Trixie and Sunset. “I think I'll need a list of episodes that focus on the Klingons themselves. No need to–”
Trixie stepped up to Twilight. She grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around to face her. “Do not turn your back to me, and do not speak softly! Do I insult you?” She jabbed a finger at Twilight. “Address me directly, Twilight Sparkle! Give me some respect!”
Twilight's jaw dropped. She shook her head. “Whoa, whoa! I didn't mean to insult you, Trixie. I'm sorry.” She turned her head to look at Sunset, but Trixie's face filled her sight once more. “Hey!”
Trixie grinned. “That was your first lesson on Klingon culture, Twilight. You have to be direct with them. No hiding or being shy. They'll see you being weak and insulting them.” She pointed two fingers at her eyes, then turned them so they were pointing at Twilight's. “Make eye contact. Stand up to them in order to gain their respect.”
Twilight locked eyes with Trixie. She nodded curtly. “I thank you for this!” she half-shouted. She straightened herself up. “I shall comport myself and not hide!”
Trixie grinned. “Excellent, Twilight. One thing, though." She held out her right hand, clenched in a fist. “Don't backhand anyone. It's an invitation to a duel to the death. Just use a straight punch.” She paused, eyes losing focus for a moment. “Or back-hoof?”
Sunset walked up to the two. “I think that's enough for now.” She pointed up at the sun, already close to the horizon. “It's getting a bit late, and I do have some homework to finish up.”
Twilight nodded in Sunset's direction. “Oh, absolutely! This was more to find out if you were willing to help. And I am very grateful to the both of you for agreeing to this.” She shook Trixie's hand and gave Sunset a hug. “Thank you so much.” She broke the hug and stepped back. “Oh, before I forget. Would you two be available to cross over to Equestria, say... the day after tomorrow? There's something I've got to show you. It's a bit of a... surprise.” Her eyes shifted from left to right, and her mouth puckered slightly.
Trixie and Sunset exchanged a look. Trixie looked at Twilight. “You do realize it would take the world ending for me to miss out on going over there, right?”
Sunset snorted. “What she said.” Her expression fell slightly. “I still haven't seen my family in Equestria. Too much stuff happened the other times and...” Her voice trailed off. She looked down at the sidewalk, hands balling into fists.
Trixie placed a hand on Sunset's shoulder. “Sunset, Twilight and Trixie will make sure you go there this time, Sunset.”
Twilight placed her hand on Sunset's other shoulder. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she chanted.
Trixie's right eyebrow arched. “That sounds like it could get messy.”
Twilight gasped. “That's what Commander Sulu said!”
Sunset barked a laugh. “Oh, my!”
Trixie turned to her. “You know Sulu never said that, right? It was just his actor and it kind of got attached to the character?”
Sunset crossed her arms in front of her chest and rolled her eyes. “Gee, I never would've figured it out,” she deadpanned.
Twilight giggled slightly at the two. “You know, it really is good to see you two getting along like this.” She looked back to the statue. “I've got to go, got a lot of planning to do. Although I think I'm starting to figure out the first step in it.” She held up a hand, even as Trixie and Sunset opened their mouths. “Next time, though?” She hugged Sunset once more, then Trixie, before turning and walking up to the statue. She walked right through the concrete pedestal, never slowing down as she passed through the portal and back to Equestria.
Trixie looked down at the suitcase in her hands. “I never even got to use these,” she said, sighing.
Sunset chuckled, hefting her laptop. “In the same boat, Trixie.” She patted Trixie on the shoulder. “So homework, then planning session to figure out the most useful episodes? I think we can have one ready by the time we go back to Equestria.”
Trixie stood up straight, her shoulders square. She looked to Sunset. “Are ye daft, lassie? It'll take four weeks just to figure out what we need!”
Sunset nodded. “Okay, so we'll have it ready by then?”
Trixie grinned. “Is there any doubt?” The grin fell away almost as quickly as it was formed. “Actually, no. Trixie isn't Scotty. We'd better get on this.”
Twilight stepped through into Equestria, an alicorn once more. She flexed her wings and stamped her hooves. “As much as I like hands,” her horn glowed and a cup of tea materialized in front of her, “not much beats a good old horn,” she finished, taking a sip. She looked over at Spike, standing near the portal, then up a clock on the wall. “Spike, we've got about an hour before dinner. Feel up to some research and cataloging?”
Spike rubbed his chin. “I think so, provided you stop for dinner. Cadance and Shining Armor are gonna be there, remember?” He waggled a claw at her. “And don't even think about skipping it or working through it.”
Twilight held up a wing. “Don't worry, Spike. I remember our agreement on this. I won't overdo things or try to rush anything through. When it's time, I'll stop.”
Spike waggled his head back and forth. “All right, then. So what are we researching?”
Several books floated off the shelves, along with a scroll, inkwell, and quills. The books all spun around the two before landing in a pyramid next to Twilight. The one on top floated up and off the apex, traveling down and opening up before her. “I want to get a list of the rock farms in Equestria and where they are. I also need to start researching contract law.” She looked up from the book and locked eyes with Spike. “The House of Kang needs something to raise its fortunes, some sort of major victory in order to gain influence. And I think getting a contract for dilithium mining in Equestria would be one hay of a victory for him.”
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Contract law? I don't know if the situation's bad enough to resort to those kinds of dark arts. Especially if it interferes with Celestia's plans to bring the Federation and Empire closer together.
Good thing "Grannies Gone Wild" aired in time for this chapter, huh?
In any case, hilarious little crash course in Klingon culture. Though I cann't help but wonder what onlookers thought...
"Are those three really discussing Star Trek?"
"Two of them are actual aliens and the other's Trixie."
"Good point."
If Twilight need a short introduction to the Klingon Empire
I can see what Twilight intent to do, but I really hope that the author allows her to bring Celestia and Luna into the loop!
I am disappointed on Trixie's behalf that she is not going over immediately.
This story increasingly makes little sense
Hopefully the rockfarms will be the exposed nodes of regular polyhedra ore related patterns so they can be discovered a lot faster once one or two are plotted. Federation tech shouldnt have problems mining in non pony areas once local trade support is achieved? Seaquestria for ocean floor mining, dragons for magmatic extraction etc?
I remember that scene from DS9, don't forget that she probably also needs to increase her alcohol tolerance
A pony only turns their back to you so they can HIT YOU WITH ALL OF THE STRENGTH OF THEIR BACK HOOVES!
Trixie's gonna get a lot of mileage out of this.
Nice chapter.
So how long till this is complete?
They should probably have pointed her to the audiobooks "Conversational Klingon" and "Power Klingon."
Effect any positive change
Once again the Pies, Rockfamers and Equestrian in general are going to gain obscene wealth! The ability to grow Dilithium... Better watch out shady races trying to ponynap rock farmers.
8983867
They always go for the easiest looking one first.
In this case, Pinkie Pie.
8983921
Pinkie vs Ferengi....
8983925
Rule of Aquisition #856: It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it.
Rule of Aquisition #857: Don't touch it either!
Yes Twilight. You need to make sure the Federation and the Klingons have the rights to the dilithium, with some set aside for Equestrian use. Let the other species deal with others that will come in future, such as the Ferengi.
8983983
And now I an just thinking Ferngi and Griffons... Oh the greed!
8984041
Exactly
Next episode: Celestia visits the Pie family for her weekly allowance!
8983596
They don't need to mine it, it's standard operation's refuge. They'll be literally buying the truck farms' garbage.
8983685
Much like a Pierson's Puppeteers.
8986686
depends on tribe.
Wrong side of...
unicorn - front
earth pony - back
pegasus - under
Alicorns are dangerous from both ends and uncomfortable in middle.
i.imgur.com/X6UtmCL.png
8983925
I have a feeling that Ferengi will have a very hard time establishing any sort of business ties in Equestria until, mysteriously, on the day that Grand Nagus Rom ascends to power. A letter asking the Grand Nagus to visit Equestria will appear on his desk.
Klingon pride is both their greatest straight and their greatest weakness. It's how they gain greatest victories and their most crushing defeats. How many will the empire will send to their deaths before they realizes this?
Answer: Too many
Yissssssss, this pleases me!
8986686
why does your icon show RD eating bacon.is it based off of a fanfic.if so,can u give me its name
Twilight is pretty clever, unless it isn't Twilight? I am currently slightly confused about that one...
Can't say if the Klingon Empire Civil War is needed or not, but they do have a severe problem about keeping themselves in check...
The Romulus faction is again a beast all on its own...