Pinkie Accidentally Murders a Cake

by F.Venka

...And She Feels Pretty Bad About It

“No, you really need to sleep, Pound Cake!” she shouted as soon as the little pegasus took off from the crib’s sheets. Feeling pretty tired after a whole day of their sudden mood changes and their irregular response to her games, she wasn't in the mood to take any more of it. The little colt just looked at her and began to fly away, in direction to the closed door. Pinkie grabbed him tight and tried to bring him back to the bed, but soon both of them were off the ground, flying around the room in irregular circles before clashing against the door with an impressive force.

A door swung open inside the bakery. Two figures could be seen flying away from the door frame, one of them growling beneath its teeth. The silence around the staircase was lost as the two figures flew over it in direction to the lower floor, replacing it with the confusing sounds of an incomprehensible fight. The strange sounds resonated through the entire house, their location changing accordingly every time they got into a different room. After a minute of their irrational struggle, they finally entered the front room. As the two bodies went through the door, a pink leg extended over to the edge of the frame, in an attempt to halt all movement using her body as a lever. As soon as the wall’s resistance appeared in their trajectory, they were unwillingly forced to give a sharp turn.

Howling something barely comprehensible about how she was going to get him in the crib with the same certainty her name was Pinkie Responsibility Pie, she gave her everything to the mission of holding her leg against the door frame. After some seconds of rising tension, between his giggles and her incoherent exclamations, she felt her leg being separated from the door frame, her body entering the room in front of her as the little pegasus gave a simple spin that amplified its force as it passed through Pinkie’s body. Her hooves had been losing grip seconds ago, and she was out of strength to keep on holding to Pound Cake’s body. Her forelegs gave, being separated from the flying pegasus. She was sent flying barely more than two meters, landing on all fours.

With nothing else than force of determination, she gave off a war cry as she launched herself with all her might in a try to catch him as abruptly as possible. The little pegasus just flew away, going back to the room they had been just seconds ago.

"Wait, Pound Cake--!" she shouted as the little pegasus colt flew away from her hooves while she tried her best to grab him. She was starting to get tired of having to track down the Cake twins every time the Cakes were out of their bakery. It didn't happen too often, but it sure left an impression on poor Pinkie every time it did.

She was on the floor now, her front hooves pressed against the wall as his giggles resonated in her mind, playing over and over as she began to lose her patience. She closed her eyes for some seconds and stood up tall again. She opened her eyes once again, a look of pure willpower appearing on her face. She was ready to get him, as she kicked her hooves against the bakery's floor. The little colt had flown over the door that gave to the front room, in direction to the inner bakery. The same door was blocking her vision, as he appeared as completely invisible to her. She could still hear his distant chuckles and the flapping of his little wings, though, so he wasn't too far away.

Slowly, she walked up to the door frame, looking around. Everything seemed to be in order and peace. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to barge in at any moment, as soon as she heard something going on. Her eyes were fixed on the seemingly empty room: but how could she think it was empty? It could have been devoid of any action to anypony, but to the keen, attentive eye, it was clearly full of possibilities.

Her attention was picked when a hit was heard inside the room, and a white mass rapidly passed from the lower right corner of the room, going towards the opposite point. She launched herself against the figure almost instantly, her hooves extending, ready to take down whatever it was: hopefully, Pound Cake.

“You’re not getting away from me!!” she harshly screamed, her eyes focusing on the pale mass and nothing else.

And then, it hit her... rather literally.

Her hooves were splashed with a sticky substance, its smell filling her nostrils: frosting. She had caught a somehow flying piece of frosting.

Confused, she allowed herself a better look at her surroundings.

"In the kitchen room of the bakery... Check. Mass of frosting flies for no apparent reason and I try to catch it... Check. The room has many pastries... Check that off, don’t know why. I’m still in mid-air and there’s a cake in my line of flight-- wait. Oh no, no, stop--!" she rambled on, her inner voice becoming rather desperate as she noticed her inevitable fate.

In a failed attempt to catch the pegasus colt, she had instead caught a somehow flying piece of cake frosting, and was now in a position only describable as 'diving in towards the cake'. Physics had betrayed her, not allowing her to change her route of flight like she used to do: in the last moment, she closed her eyes, sorrowfully whispering:
“I’m so sorry, Cakey Applesson.”

The sound of the cake breaking under her weight was a mute shriek that gave off a message of pure desperation and suffering.
An instant later, she was lying on the room’s floor, trembling just by thinking what she had done.
She looked at her hooves, at her entire body, feeling a sickness in her stomach. She was smeared in an innocent cake’s frosting, a large portion of her body splotched with an undeniable stain made of pure guilt and remorse. How could she be so heartless and thoughtless? That poor cake was just sitting there, doing no harm before meeting a sudden end. It all was just so abrupt and heart-wrenching to her.
She had never thought how hurtful it must be to be a cake and just be destroyed with sheer bad luck. Her mind passed through the memories of every cake that had met a violent end.
With a single tear in her eyes, she thought of the brave cake that gave his life to celebrate the Cake twins’ monthiversary.
“He was a cake of strong and clear ideals. The kind of cake every cupcake looks forward to be like! Just like Cakey. She was… a good cake. Maybe she was just too good for this world.”
The twins’ laughter reached her cake-filled ears. How could something so inoffensive become an insult?

She stood up once again, filled in spots of cream. She looked so hopeless and scarred, so lost in a sea of thoughts but, at the same time, overpowered by a feeling of being forced to avenge the fallen pastry. With an expression of certainty on her face, he slowly walked towards Pound Cake, who was just sitting on a seemingly random spot of the room, completely amused by Pinkie’s brutal cake murder. This wasn’t about her anymore. This was about Cakey and every single cake in existence.

“This is for all the pastries!” she shouted when she was close enough, finally bringing her hooves over him and softly biting down one of his wings as she began to take him towards their room.
It was all over, just as suddenly as it all had started.

On the way upstairs, she couldn’t help but to think about her crime.
It made her feel strange; it made her feel so different. She had never thought about what kind of things cakes could feel, and the voices inside her head were filling her with regret at every step. The simple fact of walking away from the crime scene made her feel like a coward for escaping.

Unceremoniously, she reached her target room and bluntly put Pound Cake inside the crib before telling him not to come out again in a weak voice. Pumpkin Cake was there, soundly asleep. Oh, how she wished both of them were just as calm as they were when resting.
She turned around, preparing herself to confront her actions.
She ran off towards the kitchen once again.

She respectfully sat in front on the splattered remains of what used to be a cake, giving a long and emotional speech about how important her passing away had been: an important mark in her life and philosophy.
“..And I know your legacy of tastiness isn’t going to be stopped, dear Cakey, for I have put all of my skills in finding a replacement. When it didn’t work, I had to take matters in my own hooves; and baked the best cake I could bake, not to disappoint you.” She said in a quivering voice, sounding like she was about to break into tears with every word.
“You may ask why. You may wonder why I put so much effort on something nopony cares about. And it’s… it’s… because I…” she stuttered, unable to finish her sentence.
Gulping down her sadness, she continued, tears welling up in her eyes.
“It’s because I… I know what it’s like to be treated like you’re not important and… and I will do everything I can to stop somepony, or something, from feeling that again!” she said, her trembling voice tone becoming a loud shout of raw sympathy.
“None of you are going to be forgotten, pastries. None of you are going to be left in the dark. None… of you.” She finished, standing up once again.

“If you excuse me, I must cleanse this horrible stain of fault.”
Pinkie cantered off, looking for something to clean up the floor and her body. The damage was done, but the wound had been sealed. She began to dictate a letter in her mind as she cleaned the floor of the kitchen room.
She had learned a lesson about life, after all.

“Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I discovered that, sometimes, even cakes can become sentient beings when you’re under stress, and that those cakes can present all kinds of quirky actions that can make you feel pretty awful when you stop and think about all the bad things you do and don’t even bother to stop and ponder. I don’t truly know if this is a valid friendship report since I found out about this all by myself, but it’s something I will most certainly hold dear and close to the centre of my heart, and will remember every day.
I found out, as well, that frosting is actually quite difficult to wash off since it’s just so tasty you feel like you’re wasting it while you see it go with the water.
I also found out that foals are trouble, and you do nothing but double that trouble if you throw pastries into the mix. I wasn’t really ready to rumble so I just crumbled under the tumbling weight of responsibility as I mumbled about fumbling cakes. I just ran out of rhymes, so this letter is going to end pretty abruptly. I know, I know, I should have asked Zecora about this kind of stuff. She’s pretty good with rhymes, you know.
Signed, Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s Party Planner.”

Comments

[Hawkflight]

Well. I am amused.

[EternalShadow54]

"but it’s something I will most certainly hold dear and close to the centre of my heart, and will remember every day..." I believe 'centre' should be spelt 'center'.
VERY nice choice of words, and it seems to fit Pinkie so perfectly! Great read in my opinion and I really enjoy your style of writing.

[Rainbow Scout]

Oh...An actual cake....Not one of the cake twins...

LOOKS LIKE IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE!!!!

*Gets writing on a gore fic involving foal murder*

[Isshiki Kotonashi]

810363 That is the European spelling for it.

[EternalShadow54]

810494 Well, I'm not from Europe, so excuse me please. Still loved the story!

[Isshiki Kotonashi]

810510 Neither am I

[EternalShadow54]

810519 THAT MATTER ASIDE... I still liked its concept. The title mislead me... Then I see the age rating and think "I gotta pay more attention to these things." Personally, this was a rather great story and the author has gained a watch.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Not bad and you know if you think about Pinkie Pie seems to have a nasty habit of destroying a lot of cakes, about the only one that was spared from our favorite pink party pony was MMM and that one still met with a terrible fate.

[Isshiki Kotonashi]

810548 But I am not the author
Unless you are also watching me
Which will likely be pointless unless I actually write that Abhorsen crossover in my head

[EternalShadow54]

I know you're not the author. and that don't sound like too bad of an idea.

[nemryn]

1. CAKEY NOOOOOO!!

2.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
What the buck are you talking about?
HRH Princess Celestia

[F.Venka]

Aw, shucks...
Thanks, guys. (And gals, maybe.)

I am truly humbled by your comments, and -again- I thank each and every one of you (6, if I can still count) for taking your time to read this story. I'm truly glad this silly little tale got some comments.
I was truly expecting something more caustic when I saw my notifications, but I'm really surprised to find out that not a single negative (or just realistic) comment existed.

I hadn't noticed how misleading the title is up until now... Well, I guess that was the main reason of why this story has the views count it has. [This particular sentence was pretty awkward. Sorry, I possess such afwul grammar sometimes.]
And yes, now that I think about it, the other possibility (you know, Pinkie killing one of the twins) has the potential to become quite an interesting tale. I don't know, maybe somebody has already done that...? That'd be quite the read.

810349
810699
Oh, thank you.
About the cake-destroying sprees our party pony seems to have from time to time, I like to think that those cakes have some sort of resignation and overwhelming sense of pride, and so does Pinkie (I guess), and that's why she hadn't really thought about the hypotetic feelings of a pastry. I like to think that cupcakes and cakes are in the "die doing what you cherish the most" mindset. I don't know, must be the weird part of my brain taking over again.

810363
Those are mighty flattering words. I don't know if you're being too nice, or I am being too demanding on myself, but I don't really think this tale deserved such nice statements. I can only appreciate a compliment about my writing style, though, so I really shouldn't be putting all this reasoning after me.

812787
1.
Poor Cakey, she really was a good cake. Now that I think about it, I never really gave a description of her. The only thing we have is her last name: Applesson. (This was Persikova for a while when writing the story. That word doesn't actually mean anything as far as I know, but it's the word 'peach' with a classical russian female ending. I changed it when I realized peaches hadn't been seen (as far as I'm concerned) in the show, and that it didn't really feel too Pinkie Pie-esque.)
2.
Dearest Princess Celestia,
As I could see in your perplexed response to my, I accept, quite weird letter, I want to summarize its contents to be more easily appreciated:
You see, there's this kid right here and he can't really stand still and he doesn't want to sleep. Then there's me. I was pretty tired and grumpy and mean, but I guess all these events with the foals are something I need to learn from.
As you can appreciate, this letter didn't arrive via Spike's fire. I don't really know how I went to Canterlot to send this letter, but I did.
P. Pie.

So, I think we're done.
Once again, I want to thank you for taking your time to read this silly story.
I really mean it, my poor heart is having quite a difficult time trying to calm down. I mean, I was just casually checking some websites and I was like "Huh, I wonder if the story got approved."
Then I came here, and I saw the number of notifications. I'm not pretty sure of why, but I was on the verge of Jizzing. In. My. Saddle. (Punctuation is key to enunciated this phrase correctly.)

Oh, and for the one who gave me his (her?) watch, I'll try not to break anything, and to make my stories as enjoyable as I can.

That was... quite a long comment.

[EternalShadow54]

826629 Well, to be completely honest, your style of writing STRONGLY (in my opinion, of course...) relates to mine, therefore the read was extreamly enjoyable, considering it's almost exactly how I would have written it (Different words and descriptions...) if I put effort into it (So it's the same without being the same really... Isn't my logic great?), and I'm not being too nice... just saying...

Also, I'm the one who watched you! Looking forward to another story by you soon!

[F.Venka]

827385
Oh, I get it.
Indeed, I had noticed our writing styles are quite similar (key difference being the way phrases are created and how much detail goes into things) so the fact that you enjoyed it is quite plausible. (I really hate my limited knowledge of English sometimes. What I meant is that "it makes sense that you liked it".)
This... eh, comment you did about how my writing seems to be 'strong', as you call it, is mainly because I have a strange way of talking in real life. In fact, I tend to talk just like I'm writing right now, sometimes with even more juxtaposed phrases and commas. It's just that I tend to talk directly and plainly in real life.

[EternalShadow54]

827496 I understand what you mean. Quite clearly you have a decent grasp upon the elements of literary knowledge and therefore, tend to use your arsenal of words to compile a fantastic story such as this. (I don't care what you say, I absolutely LOVED this...) Your style is... well, more so to say unique than anything. I tend to talk within real life for the most part in my stories, being as my style come abundantly from the novel "Left Behind", and as a result really adored this fic. Like I stated before, the title mislead me, but I'm glad to have made that mistake. Again, I'm not trying to be nice, this is just what I honestly think. Keep writing the way you do Sir/Madam. (Question: You say you're limited in your comprehension in the English Arts? Are you from America, or just simply limited as you stated? Also, I knew what you meant by the way.)

[F.Venka]

827551
I'm not a native English but -this is truly, truly weird- I can speak English at a better level than my native tongue. And, of course, my knowledge of the English language it's kind of lacking. Maybe I'm being too demanding, again.

I guess I really need to stop worrying about what all of you will think. I'm truly flattered that you thought this was actually a pretty good story, considering it wasn't written in the best of circumstances. [Really late at night, had slept just two hours the day before... I was really, really tired and was making typographic mistakes every ten seconds, if not more.]

[EternalShadow54]

827614 That is rather strange, but it's a good thing, no doubt. Also, yes. You are being VERY demanding of yourself. Personally, I agree with your next to last statement. Stop worrying about what we WILL think and just write from the heart. I might be a hippocrit, considering that all my stories (Except for "Stranded...") were written for a friend in some shape, form, or fashion, but that never stopped me from trying my best! I didn't care what OTHERS would think about it, only what my friend would. (Sadly, they never gave them a try, so that's why I'm in a horrible rut at the moment... no motivation and all except for a very SELECT few readers... but that might just be me being selfish...) Anyways, back on topic. You write wonderfully, and don't worry too much what others will think. I can almost guarentee that if you could read your story and think you would like it your first time reading, most everyone who gives it a chance will too. (Depending if it's there preference, of course.) Another long reply... sorry. I'm notorious to ramble what goes through my mind sometimes, so forgive me.

[F.Venka]

827674
Oh, don't worry about reply size, I'm pretty sure everyone can get quite extensive when they're talking.

I don't know, my mind is filled with this strange mindset of "write what the public wants and not what you (I) want(s)" which has been quite troubling for a long time since I started to care about polishing my writing.
I don't know what to say about your situation about having few readers, I guess it's better to have few readers that are going to be always there, than to have a lot who don't really care for what you write. I guess I'm right. I might not be...

[EternalShadow54]

827716 You forgot to click reply on my comment. Yes, having few readers that will always be there is better than alot who don't care, but I wasn't trying to impress THEM. They are just all the better. The ones I WAS trying to impress never gave it a try, so... yea.

IT IS TRUE that if you don't write to popular demand, then you'll be left high and dry, BUT I've never went with the public and its decisions, so if you write it for you, I'm impressed. (This story was written for general public reasons... or did ya write it just to write it?)

[F.Venka]

827737
Yes, I did forget... I just derped

Yeah, I remember writing a quite long story for a friend of mine, only for it to be ignored. I guess it's fine, because I still have it, and I will most certainly adapt it, and, who knows, maybe it'll be up on here someday.

This story...? Uh, that's quite a difficult question.
This story was, as you said, intended to be for a general public. (Or not so general, as I gave it to another friend of mine [disguised as something not related to ponies, they aren't too welcome...] first.)
But, it (at least the first half) was also written just for the lulz, as a test of finally writing something not explicit. It went actually quite well, I thought, so I decided to expand it and put it up here on the site. All I can say is that I did quite a good decision, I guess.

[EternalShadow54]

827772 Your friends don't approve of ponies!? Oh well, you can only hope huh? (I have the same problem... kind of...) Also, YES! You made an EXCELLENT decision, in my opinion of course.

[F.Venka]

827795
My friends are like that. I mean, it's not like they don't approve of them, but they don't want to get involved with them. I mean, they see some, I don't know, cutie mark get sketched on my notebooks (paper notebooks, of course), and they recognize it, and say "ah, that... show..." I guess that's just tolerance.
Yes, one can only hope... but, as far as I know, not a single brony exists on my town of residence that isn't me.

You're really making me smile. I really mean it. I'm actually smiling in this very instant. I don't know if it's important, but I guess people can feel good knowing that another person is happier than before because of themselves.

[EternalShadow54]

827832 I do love to make others smile. I have 1... JUST ONE... real life brony friend. One's better than none, but some bronies are JUST not the type I'd like to hang with... if you know what I mean... AND I have those who tolerate me, but they don't want to give the show a try all the same. (ALSO, YOU DRAW!? SO DO I!) Trust me, get to know me, and I'll probably end up becoming your best friend.

[F.Venka]

827855
One is, indeed, better than none.

"JUST not the type I'd like to hang with..."
As Rainbow's say: "Are we talking about the Grand Galloping Gala cloppy people?"

"don't want to give the show a try all the same."
This happens just so often, I'm thinking there's no other possible response.

Well, I don't truly draw in a really good style, but yes, I tend to draw a lot of formless stuff on the pages on my notebooks. They are just filled with multi-coloured lines and formations. There's also many strings of text, (in English, not my native tongue) many of them referencing ponies.
My notebooks are just verbal chaos incarnate. I'm still perplexed as of how can I understand them.

"Trust me, get to know me, and I'll probably end up becoming your best friend."
I can take this phrase in two ways:
One, you're saying this to me, in which case it's truly appreciated and met with a rather large grin.
Two, it's like a sentence that describes you. In said case, I dont' know, it's good, how you're such a sociable guy (guy, right?) that can make friends with anyone.

I'm really falling behind on my responses.

[EternalShadow54]

827911 First off, "One, you're saying this to me, in which case it's truly appreciated and met with a rather large grin." It was the first one. (Because, believe it or not, I tend to try and AVOID taking about myself in too positive a way. Tends to have most people think that you're just promoting yourself.)

"As Rainbow's say: "Are we talking about the /-Grand Galloping Gala-\ cloppy people?" Eeyup. I don't judge, but it's just not my thing.

I used to draw anthropomorphic styled drawings, (animals with human characteristics) but gave it up a while ago. I draw MLP characters every now and then, but that's about it.

"how you're such a sociable guy..." I am a guy.

Falling behind? As in our conversations or just in general? Because if it's about our replies, take your time.

[F.Venka]

827940
" tend to try and AVOID taking about myself in too positive a way. Tends to have most people think that you're just promoting yourself."
Then I'm just bashing myself at every second of my life. I don't think it's too much of a problem, if you're just having a good time, I don't think you need to avoid expressing it.

" I am a guy. "
You're not... doing what I'm thinking you are doing, right? I mean, that Dash face is pretty ambigue...

Yeah, the replies. I'm starting to get a little slow at responding. It must be because I'm really thinking what I'm saying.

In an unrelated note, I'm really surprised at how many views this story has gotten. And the like:dislike ratio is pretty good. 8:1 ain't bad at all.

[EternalShadow54]

827965 "You're not... doing what I'm thinking you are doing, right? I mean, that Dash face is pretty ambigue..." NO! I would never... Sorry if that emoticon gave you the wrong impression, though now I see how your mind works a little bit more now.

"Yeah, the replies. I'm starting to get a little slow at responding. It must be because I'm really thinking what I'm saying." Like I said, take your time. I've got all night... though I should have written anothe chapter for my story by now... but what are you gonna do?

"Then I'm just bashing myself at every second of my life. I don't think it's too much of a problem, if you're just having a good time, I don't think you need to avoid expressing it." You ain't bashing yourself, it's just how I was raised really. I wouldn't avoid expressing it, but many figure it out on their own good time...

[F.Venka]

827989
"Sorry if that emoticon gave you the wrong impression, though now I see how your mind works a little bit more now."
Okay, you got me there. It's just I'm used to my friends being all innuendo-esque.

"I should have written anothe chapter for my story by now"
I don't know am I saying this but, if you force it, chances are it isn't going to be as good as it can be.

"You ain't bashing yourself, it's just how I was raised really. I wouldn't avoid expressing it, but many figure it out on their own good time..."
It's just that almost everyone always asks me why the hay am I so negative. But that's who I am, and I guess that it's who I'll always be.

[EternalShadow54]

828014 "It's just that almost everyone always asks me why the hay am I so negative. But that's who I am, and I guess that it's who I'll always be." Honestly, I don't see you to be the negative type personally. You come off more of a... mellow type, so to say, but be yourself. If you're more of the pessimistic type (not sure if spelled correctly or not) then that's you. I know PLENTY around here with that style of thinking, so it's not all that hard to actually relate to you.

"innuendo-esque." I'll look that up in a few.

"I don't know am I saying this but, if you force it, chances are it isn't going to be as good as it can be." True, but then again, forcing it is the only way to actually motivate yourself sometimes, though all I really need to do is just talk myself into doing it in the first place, which would be A LOT easier, but, ya know...

[F.Venka]

828050
Yeah, I guess it's my decision to be whoever I want to be. Obviously, I'm not behaving as normal, considering I'm truly enjoying this conversation and can say whatever I want. That doesn't happen really often in real life.

"innuendo-esque."
Mighty sorry about that fake word. I meant "constantly suggesting lust-like things". That my friends are constantly doing that.

Yes, I know it's true, forcing things is often the only way out. Talking to yourself, huh? I always do that. I'm always talking to myself, talking to objects. People ask me why, and I just say I don't know, and proceed to commentate it with an imaginary person, (who, incidentally, gets referred as "Venka") as if to really set the tone of weirdness.

[EternalShadow54]

828080 "Yeah, I guess it's my decision to be whoever I want to be. Obviously, I'm not behaving as normal, considering I'm truly enjoying this conversation and can say whatever I want. That doesn't happen really often in real life." I'm glad you're enjoying this conversation, as am I, and feel... honored, in a way. Also, real life can... well, suck, for lack of a better word.

Giving me fake words!? How dare thee!

Everypony tells me that talking to yourself is fine, it's just when you start answering yourself is when it becomes wierd, therefore, I'm wierd. Also, you wanna take the conversation to PM? We are commenting on your PUBLIC story.