What happens when a rare occasion comes to pass? A summer solstice and a full moon happens? "The stars shall aid in her escape." The stars is not a thing but a who... A certain Greek goddess by the name of Asteria. But why should she help? And who is she exactly?
Please don't use "whom" if you don't know how it's supposed to be used. It just looks bad. It's not just a fancy replacement for "who".
7324825
Sorry. It's a bad habit. I REALLY need an editor! I need to flush it out more anyways, so I'll fix it. Thanks for letting me know, I never even realized!
Not a bad start if this is the first chapter of something. The characterization is, well, okay. The story is structured well, though I did kinda scratch my head at some of the dialogue. There's alot of room to grow here but I do see potential so good luck good fortune
7550916
Thx, IK that I've got along way 2 go, so... This was mean to be a one shot, but... Maybe I'll take ur idea up. Or we could cowrite the rest. IDK.
7551003 PM me anytime, one of the perks of having no social life is I'm almost always available
7551004
I'm gonna take u up on that.
7551020 kay cool