• Published 20th Mar 2016
  • 4,283 Views, 159 Comments

Why so VG? - dereturd

Vanoss and Delirious starts rough in Equestria. And gets even more rough.

  • ...

This Needs Potatoes

Yo dude, good luck tryin to escape the musical. Im just outside of town if ya need me Wildcat texted to Vanoss' phone. Hopefully he can escape the entire music from town. From Wildcat's place, you can hear the town in rhymes.

Well, he was out of the area anyway. If he was found he'd be pulled into the musical. And it would've been College graduation all over again. Either way, he ventured deeper into the forest. Only encountering a family of cows. And a woodpecker on a tree to his left.

He can recall in the morning that he was woke up by Twilight, and he was told to come along with her. Where then he was in the middle of a musical. Just when they were distracted, he ditched. So here he is.


He snapped back to reality and heard some, holy heavenly call. Looking up, he saw some green figure in the sky. It was still far away though, so Wildcat took out his sniper rifle. He looked into his scope, and it was now a little clear than a while ago. Good thing he had a zoom in mechanic. He zoomed into the figure, as it got more clear. He can make out a green pony, from his position, it's like a ragdoll falling while doing a stomp. He backed up, and saw a better angle of the figure. Getting a close look, he saw the pony doing a graceful ice skating pose while falling.

Good thing he got the slow-mo mod.

He turned on the slow motion mode. As the fall was more graceful. He levitated to it, and saw it really clear. It was a unicorn with a green coat and a paper bag masking his face. It had some childish drawings like it was a helmet. He stopped flying, and laughed only to look at it covering the sun. Making it look so angelic. He switched back time, and when the unicorn fell. It was like shit.

Wildcat was laughing, he stopped and looked back at the unicorn. Now that he or she wasn't moving, he scanned around the body, only to have a potato for a cutie mark. Confused, he helps up the unicorn while yelling-

"Hey dude! You okay bro?"

The unicorn opened his/her eyes. Looking at it revealed a gold shade. The eyes darted around, looking around. Then faced back to Wildcat. The unicorn recognized the bicycle helmet and the pig mask.

"WILDCAT?! TYLER?!" He yelled, it was a masculine voice and it was familiar as fuck.

"Nogla?! Holy shit!!" He exclaimed, brohoofing Nogla's hoof.

"Dude, tha' fock is this place?" The Irishman asked.

"Yea.. This is the world where ponies live." He replied. "Aand there's a lot of explainin' to fuckin' do so you're in for a ride." He said.


Vanoss groaned in his bed. Hearing his phone ring; hoodini! just got him more irritated. A while ago, he was being called by Twilight to get up from his bed. Thinking it was early, he decided to sleep some more. But hearing Wildcat joyfully wake up and agrees with Twilight got him to sleep more. Until that ring stopped his progress.

He rubbed his right eye, his left one was still sore. After, he opened it. He grabbed his phone and saw a notification.

Yo dude, good luck tryin to escape the musical. Im just outside of town if ya need me

And the text was right, after closing his phone. A bunch of singing rhyming went up outside.

'Jeezus, how can they keep themselves from that?' He thought. Sighing, he got out from his bed. Proceeded to take a shower.

Delirious, Marcel, and Mini were waiting at Sugarcube Corner. Not outside but inside, thankfully.

Deliirous rolled his eyes. "Fuck, where's Lui, Vanoss and Wildcat?" He asked.

"Don't fucking know. Probably trapped in that group." Marcel pointed to the singing group outside.

Vanoss left the showers with a towel wrapped around his lower body. He dried himself and grabbed his shades. He headed to the refrigerator and saw Spike eating some gems on the plate.

"Hey Vanoss." The purple drake greeted.

"Sup Spike." Vanoss greeted back, before opening the fridge to grab some Pißwasser he and Wildcat stored. "Yo Spike, I'ma take a leave. Would you mind?" The drake shook his head. Vanoss only nodded, taking a chug from his beer right after meeting up with Lui.

"So that's how Evan got his eye focked?" Nogla asked, Tyler only nodded.

"Then, the following day. When Discord learned his lesson, he pointed a gun right at his spot!" Tyler added before laughing.

"My God. How the fuck did this all go heh?"

"Well me and Delirious had to pull him back from shooting, the girls only gave us looks. Discord was still drinking his damn water. We even had to point a gun at Evan!" He said, before going on another wave of laughter. "Evan and Delirious would've laughed their asses off if they saw you do that graceful fall."


Wildcat grabbed his phone and opened it to see a text message.

Dude, we gotta meet at Sugarcube Corner for some shit

"... Evan replied to me in a message that me and him can record some Sandbox. But I didn't know it would be this." Nogla kept on blabbering, Wildcat kept his phone. He looked back to Nogla.

"Hey Nogla, follow me. We gotta do some shit." He said, Nogla playfully followed him into Ponyville.

"Hey guys! I got Nogla with me!" Wildcat yelled.

"Hey gais!" Nogla greeted, as he was responded with a load of 'Nogla!' 'Sup Bro!'. "Ok! Ok! Jaysus Christ! Can we stop with this!" He yelled.

"Ok man, jeez." Vanoss backed up.

"Well then soldiers!!" A feminine voice yelled, she got down as it was Pinkie.

"Pinkie, we ain't soldiers!!" Delirious yelled. Making it sound like he was childish.

"Okay then, warriors!" Pinkie corrected herself, at this point, Delirious hoofpalmed himself and was pissed.

Wildcat snorted.

Vanoss chugged in his beer.

Nogla was checking his Gmod menu.

"Me and Cheese Sandwich are having a goof-off!" The party pony exclaimed. Mini raised his hoof.

"What's a goof-off?" He asked. Pinkie confronted him face-to-face.

"A goof-off Mr. Thompson-"

"Hey!" He yelled, meaning he didn't want to be called by that name.

"Is a duel for two crazy party planners!!" She continued. "And I want to make a true entrance. Or maybe a first move." The crew only smirked. They all huddled up and said their chosen choice for Pinkie's move.

"Dude, I don't fucking know if this'll work but I got one." Marcel whispered.

"You mean that trombone gif?" Nogla asked.

"Hell yeah." Wildcat and Marcel said in unison.

"That gif is based off the music; Freaks." Mini added.

"Guys, as soon as we do that entrance, we book it. I just got a text from RD-"

"Since when the fuck did she get a phone?!" Delirious interrupted.

"We'll talk about that later! She gave me a text about some other food for the party!" Vanoss said, in a loud but hushed voice.

"Soooo, what's my entrance?" A voice came, Pinkie intervened. As soon as they saw her they disconnected their huddle.

"Pinkie, we have an idea." Delirious only said.

After some explanation, Vanoss announced something.

"Hey guys, she gave me another one. We gotta help setup some shot for the party." Vanoss interrupted.

"Well I guys it would'nt hurt if me and her do it." Delirious said, getting a nod from Pinkie.

Evan walked out of the bakery as he was followed by the others. "So be it, guys, we gotta go now. While they're doing their goof-off, some people are still setting up. So we gotta do some other things.." The voice faded, Pinkie grabbed her gear while Delirious had to use his physgun to get an oven, at the same time, he had to hold his trombone.

"So guys, I got every-fucking-thing we need to do." Vanoss yelled out, holding the list while the others just listened.

"HEY GUYS!!" A voice yelled, turning to the direction of the voice, they saw a blue pegasus. Quickly saying it was Delirious, they did nothing but wait for him to come to them. "Guys," Delirious panted, stopping as soon as he reached them. "I had to become a fucking prop to escape that duel!" He said, receiving a laugh from the crew.

"Damn, they would've wondered why the lil' can was moving." Wildcat commented, Vanoss noticed his word of choice.

"Lil' can? Were you a lil' can Delirious?" He said.

"No, I was a filing cabinet." He answered, after saying that, he got a wild laugh from the crew.

"So as soon as you said goodbye, you fockin' became a filing cabinet and booked it?" Nogla asked.

"Yea!" Delirious replied.

"That sounds like some Guess Who powerup." Vanoss said. Getting chuckles and some hics.

"Anyway yeah, so what do we do next?" Delirious continued. Vanoss cleared his throat.

"Well then, we gotta help check the decorations." Vanoss said.

"So where is it?" Mini asked..

"It doesn't say anything so I'm assuming we'll have to check it out." He said, afterwards he and the crew left to visit and inspect if they did what they did.

"Hmmm, Rainbow cake. Check." Vanoss ticked a box on his list.

"Yo Evan, we got the custom cupcakes." Tyler called out, as he said this, Evan ticked another box.

"Evan! The pastries are checked!" Mini yelled, Evan ticked another box. As all those were done, the crew regrouped, but no sign of Nogla. The crew ignored his presence, so no one questioned where he was.

"Alright guys, now that's done-"

"Wut tha' fock?! There's no potatoes! This needs potatoes!!" Nogla came out of nowhere, complained about it. Until Evan stopped him.

"Holdup! Holdup! Nogla.." He began, Nogla stopped stomping around. ".. if you fucking listen to me, I guarantee we can add potatoes to the party. And since when was thr last time you ate potatoes?"

"Last night."

"Well shit! You still have the potatoes in your system!" Marcel joined, siding with Vanoss.

"Nogla, if you quit your bitchin' we'd ask, beg, yell for potatoes, just so YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Wildcat chimed in.

"Hold on, Rainbow just texted me saying we gotta go to the path on the way to leave Ponyville." Vanoss said. "Let's go!" He and the crew ran his way and fast, must br some touble for her party or maybe something really bad.

The sun is close to settle, and they made it in the nick of time. The crew stopped when they saw the mane 5 trying to banter somethings with Pinkie, who was set to leave Ponyville.

"Woah woah woah, what's going on?" Vanoss came in with the crew behind him.

"I'm sorry girls, and boys. But, I let my pride get in the way of you having the best birth-iversary ever. Cheese Sandwich really is a super duper party planner, and he'll be a terrific headliner. I should've been a big enough pony to admit that and let you have your day." With that said, the crew frowned. Rainbow came closer to her.

"But don't you get it? You're both super duper party ponies. Sure, Cheese Sandwich is a great guest party pony, but you're Ponyville's permanent party pony. Nopony could ever take your place, and we could never have a party without you."

"Rainbow Dash is right." The group took attention towards Cheese Sandwich. "I never meant to take your place in Ponyville. I just wanted to show you what a great party pony I am, Pinkie." Pinkie stumbled at the word 'you'.

"Why me?"

"Well..." Music then started to rise.

[Cheese Sandwich's past]

"Me?" Pinkie questioned.

"Yes!" Cheese exclaimed.

"Hah, really?!" She exclaimed this time.


"So I was the pony that threw the awesomely spectacular party that inspired you to become an awesome spectacular party thrower?"

"Swear on Camembert!" The music then faded down,

"Enough with the warm fuzzy stuff, you two. It's my birth-iversary, and you gotta throw me a bash!" Rainbow intervened.

"Yeah!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Let's go!" Cheese said loudly, as they walked back towards Ponyville. With the group following them (although they were covering their ears).

Super duper party ponies -- that is me and you
A party thrown by one is good, but not as great as two
Come on and let's join forces, have twice the expertise
Now let's all go to the party planned by Pinkie Pie and Cheese!

The party was going, there was punch bowl pools, kazoos, a giant group of Ponies, and Rainbow themed decorations. The crew was standing on top of a hill, they were looking over the great sight of the party. The Weenie Boys did most of all the remainng things, doing that made the decorators have more energy to party. Vanoss however did the hardest.

From putting up rainbow cloths at the rooftop of the town hall to helping make the stage.

But all they did was worth it, everything was stable, ponies were having fun. That's a one-way ticket to get home.

"Well guys," Vanoss began, as the group were hoofing high with Pißwassers on their hooves. "good job. Doing this we're almost motherfucking home."

"Yeah fuck yeah!!" The crew agreed and cheered. Shaking their beers.

"So before we go down there and have some fucking fun, CHEERS!!" He yelled, clattering their beers together while yelling 'cheers!'. "Also Nogla, I managed to add some Rainbow potatoes down there." Vanoss added.

"OH HELL YES." He said. Before taking a drink from his beer.

"Let's have a fuckin' party." Vanoss said before they went down to the fun zone.

Author's Note:

Sorry if this chapter was boring. I'll make it up in the next one.