• Published 20th Mar 2016
  • 4,294 Views, 159 Comments

Why so VG? - dereturd

Vanoss and Delirious starts rough in Equestria. And gets even more rough.

  • ...

"This is the wrong time!" -Pt.1

Delirious just sat there and just fucking waited in the dark inside a small cage with the light only pointed at the cage. He couldn't fucking believe he lost to some damn ponies. He did remember that Evan destroyed all those guards back in Vanhoover. But this time how?

Maybe it was they knew some knowledge of them or he got too carried away with his pride?

He doesn't even fucking know anymore.

The door then opened, with two figures in the dark. One was averagely tall while the other was as tall as a stool. He saw glimpse of the background, where there was only a counter and a notebook. The door closed by the figure in the shadows. It approached Delirious as it grabbed a stool with her magic. She then placed it down and took a seat. Her face shown a little by the light.

She had a lavender coat with purple eyes and a purple mane with pink streaks on it. And had a horn.

"So, who are you?"

Twilight wasn't in the mood. She wasn't able to join her friends in Manehattan for a break. When a letter was delivered to her by Princess Celestia. She again read the letter as Spike followed her.

Twilight Sparkle,

The fugitives of the bank robbery in Vanhoover has arrived here. It was just told recently by a pegasi guard. But I have a request for you.

There is now three fugitives because he was an accomplice just because he joined them. But we have captured the wild blue pegasus. Be careful though, he snapped somepony's arm when they gave him food to eat.

So I want you to interrogate him and get answers.

I trust you in this completely.

Princess Celestia

'Wait, if they're here. Then that means..' She gasped at her thought.

"What's wrong Twilight?" The purple drake asked.

"MY FRIENDS ARE IN DANGER!" She exclaimed as some ponies directly stared at her. He only gave a chuckle and a nervous smile. "Sorry everypony."

"Twilight, they must be hiding somewhere. But, I don't know so.." Spike said, as Twilight could only ignore them like what he said.

She and Spike had reached the local police station. She tracked the source of the blue pegasi's magic and led here. She barged in. And in her current reputation, she was ignored by policecolts walking by. Since he still was being tracked, she knew where he was held in.

"I won't give any fucking answers missy." Delirious said at the lavender pony. "Did those white big bitches of yours told you that I or we came from another fucking world?" He asked. She got completely pissed at what he said.

"Wait.. what?!" The pony exclaimed.

"Then those bitch are stupid as hell. They don't even give their top secret answers to their closest friends." He said. She choked on the word friends. Just remembering a single word of that made her look away.

"What else do you know about?" She simply asked. Delirious just shuts the hell up. "WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW ABOUT?!" She yelled. Delirious could only chuckle.

"And if I don't?" He asked. She could only conjure an ice spear at him.

"I will make you pay." She said in anger.

"Pfft.. I died in this world like.. I fuckin' lost count for how many times now." He said, she got completely puzzled at what he said. "In other words, I can't die bitch."

Her eyes widened, she didn't know what to do now.

"Right now I could actually kill you." He said, only to make her even more angrier. "Want me to prove it?" He asked, as a menu appeared in front of him and tapped an icon as the menu closed. Delirious then pulled out a 'bubble daryl' shotgun in which what he and his friends say and pointed at the lavender pony.

"What if I said that you wouldn't leave this world at all?" She asked. Delirious chuckled and sheathed his weapon in his crotch.

"You got me there," He said. "But, I am hungry."

"Well, what do you want?" She asked.

She couldn't believe she's taking orders from a criminal like him.

"Got any donuts?"

"Marcel, stay calm.." Vanoss said.

"I FUCKING CAN'T EVAN!!" Marcel yelled, as he kicked the chair near him.

They already explained everything that has happened to them. In this world that is.

"WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT BEING HERE?!" Marcel yelled more.

"I already told you that-"

"NOT YOU GUYS, ME!!" He yelled. Vanoss only pulled out a note he got long ago.

"Here, read this." He gave to Marcel.

Delirious and the interrogator finally finished eating their donuts. Delirious slapped both his hooves to clean off the bits of bread he ate.

"Now that's over with.." He said, as the pony took her notes.

"My name's Delirious, H20 Delirious." He said, as she thought that 'what kind of name is that?!'
"But what's yours?" He asked, pulling out his phone.

"Twilight Sparkle. Princess of Friendship." Twilight said, as Delirious hid his phone.

"Why are you here?" Twilight asked.

"Well Sparkle ass," He said as Twilight got annoyed. "That's the question you should ask your leaders about. But we only know that 'there's and incoming war.'" He said, doing the signs.

"What do you mean by 'we'?" She asked.

"That's something you should discover later." He said, pulling his phone and kept on tapping somethings. While Twilight only took note.

"Are you fucking serious?" Marcel asked. Vanoss could only nod.


"Because they're the ones who brought us to this world remember?"


"I HATED IT WHEN ME AND DELIRIOUS WERE SLEEPING THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN BROUGHT HERE!!" Vanoss then stopped when a thought entered his mind. "Speaking of Delirious.. Where the fuck is he?"

Daunde dawn na na nawn!

"Wait, gimme a second." He said, as he pulled out his phone. Only to get the following message.

Dude, I'm in jail

"Are you fucking serious Delirious?" He said out loud.

"What?" Mini asked.

"Come on, you could already guess what happened." He said, as a he trots to the roof.

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me." Mini said, as he and Marcel followed him upstairs.

Marcel and Mini reached the roof to see a buzzard spawned in.

"We gotta rescue Delirious." He said as Marcel and Mini hops on.

"Anyway Mr. Delirious, would you like to continue?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah sure." Delirious replied, hiding his phone again.

"What was the cause of the craters at Vanhoover?" She asked.

"Oh, it's just these." He showed an icon of what he was talking about.

It was a proximity mine and a sticky bomb.

"Ok, so how does the thin one explode?" She asked.

"When they have been destroyed or just stepped on." He said.

"And the other?"

"We explode it when we want to."

"Anything else?" He asked.

"Well, what about-"


The room exploded, the night sky had shown light to the broken room. The cage was breached. And there was a helicopter but to Twilight, it was a flying machine of some sort.

"I'm sorry Missy." Delirious said. And looked at her, realized she was an alicorn. Spike just ran to her side. "But I gotta go." He jumped and landed at the helicopter's 2nd pilot seat. The machine flew and left.

"Spike stay here!" Twilight said.

"But Twilight!"

The door then slammed open. As some police colts and her friends with the three princesses arrived.

"What happened?" Celestia asked.

"He escaped! Along with 3 more ponies!" Twilight said.

"Three more? I thought they were 3 in total?!" Luna yelled.

"There's not much time! We have to chase it!" Cadence said, as she flapped and left along with the two other princesses.

"Girls, come on. Let's go!" Twilight said, as the mane six tries to catch up with the helicopter.

"So they're onto us?" Marcel asked.

"Yeah." Delirious said.

"Well shoot 'em!" Vanoss yelled, as Mini and Marcel takes out their Combat MG's and shoot towards the Princesses.

Projectiles flew and missed the three main princesses of this land. They were just simply evading it or just using magic to block it. At the streets was the Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack riding the chariot. With Pinkie running really fast, Rainbow flying along with the princesses and Twilight as well is flying with them.

"Well there's alot of them now." Marcel said.

"Guys jump!" Vanoss said, as all jumped from the helicopter and landed at the rooftop of the building. While the helicopter crashed in another building, causing damage.

"Tia, did they..?" Luna asked.

"Maybe." Celestia simply replied.

The four was just about to set hoof on the first floor of the building and was about to-

"GET THE FUCK ONE THE GROUND!!" A pink-ish unicorn wearing a pig mask, a black leather jacket with a furry collar and a white bicycle helmet while holding a carbine rifle said.

"Yeah, get down now!!" Another one said with a red coat a monkey mask with a cigar on it's mouth holding a minigun said.

"WOAH GUYS IT'S US!!" Mini yelled, still unrecognized. Until they saw Marcel and Vanoss' cutie mark.

"HEY IT'S YOU!!" Tyler yelled as Lui smiled.

"Guys we don't have time! We gotta pack up!" Vanoss said as all got to work, carrying bags and sorti them into one place.

"Uhh, Evan." Tyler said as Vanoss looked at him.

"Where do we pack up?"

"Oh it's right ther-"


The entrance exploded as a Rainbow stream came out of the smoke. A figure then got Vanoss on the wall, he pulled out his heavy pistol and pointed at the... mare?

A pegasus with cyan coat and a rainbow mane and tail was there pinning Vanoss to the wall. And she was angry.

The smog cleared up as the princesses, the mane six and the captain who captured Delirious appeared.

Fluttershy and Rarity's confidence dropped, as they backed off a bit just of the ponies pointing weapons at them.

Pinkie tackled Delirious, Cadence accompanied Pinkie. Applejack was facing Mini. But was pointed with a spiral weapon by Lui. The captain and Twilight faced the pig. But was pointed a gun at by Marcel. And the princesses just stood in the middle.

"Drop your weapon!" The captain yelled.

"No get the fuck off him!" Marcel yelled.

"Get the fuck off me bitch!" Delirious yelled.

"Nope, never!" Pinkie replied in a happy tone.

Twilight got closer to Tyler but a projectile nearly hit her.

"That's a warning shot!" Marcel yelled, pointing his gun at the captain. Vanoss hit Rainbow at the muzzle, he was released but Rainbow was hurt. Now pointing the gun at her but was accompanied by Luna.

Silence filled the room.

"To be fair and clear, drop your weapons and we will back off." Celestia said. All the criminal friends agreed and dropped their weapons, the ponies who cornered and tackled them also backed off and returned as a group. But Delirious, Tyler and Vanoss readied a throwing knife behind their backs.

"Now, is your final warning. We will not send you to a prison but we will bring you elsewhere. Will you comply?" Celestia asked again.

"And if we fucking don't?" Vanoss asked. Everypony (except the crew) was annoyed by the way of his answer. The criminal group pulled out their handguns and pointed towards them.

"Do you realize we can fucking kill any of you at this instant?"

Author's Note:

Before continuing this, let me know first what decision would happen here.

Say #Hellyeah if you want this answer.

"But we can still banish you." Cadence said.

"Try killing us and we'll come back to life." Delirious said.

If not, say #Hellno if you want this.
"But you cannot go home of you do eliminate us." Luna said.
Also sorry for the boring type of chapter this is.