Epilogue: Fluttershy's Evening
Angel scampered around Fluttershy's hooves, impatiently awaiting the bowl of salad Fluttershy was hastily trying to prepare. She chuckled to herself at seeing the little rabbit so eager to eat something that, just a few months before, he would’ve turned his nose up at.
She placed the salad on the floor in front of him and he dug into it with gusto. “See Angel? I told you you’d like it if you just gave it a chance.”
While Angel shoveled leafy greens into his mouth, Fluttershy tidied up the kitchen and continuously glanced out the window as she did so, just like she’d been doing ever since she’d gotten home. She’d only been at Rarity’s for a few hours and spent the rest of the afternoon working on outdoor chores while it was still daylight. When the sun dipped behind the trees of the Everfree, her intense fear of the dark drove her activities inside. Evening was now falling over Ponyville; crickets began their nocturnal melody, the soft yellow glow of fireflies flickered off and on, and a peaceful stillness had settled in the humid July air.
Dinner time had come and gone and still no sign of Rarity. Fluttershy looked out the window for the hundredth time, hoping to make out a familiar white coat and purple mane somewhere in the darkness. But she saw only her front yard, peppered with dens and warrens and the small stream running through it. Turning from the window with a dejected sigh, she decided that it would be best to do something to take her mind off of Rarity. She hadn’t stopped thinking about her ever since she'd gotten home, and she’d been replaying their conversation over and over, trying to discern what sort of emotions she was feeling from it. She trotted into her living room, grabbed the book she had been reading off the coffee table, and opened it to the page she had bookmarked.
She had just gotten to a particularly riveting part when a white envelope was slipped through her mail slot. Letters never came this late unless it was something urgent, and Fluttershy immediately got up from the couch and went to pick it up, hoping it wasn’t anything too dire. The sent address was from somewhere in Manehattan, which was odd, since she hadn’t been there in months and didn’t have any relatives there. Curious, she broke the seal and pulled out the letter, thinking maybe her farsighted mail career had made a mistake. It wouldn't be the first time. However, once she saw that elegant cursive, she knew it was no mistake and she brought the letter back to the couch to read it with a giddy smile on her face.
Dear Fluttershy,
Forgive the brevity of this letter, the boorish pony in charge of this post office is rather impatient and keeps glaring at me. If you didn’t see the address, I’m back in Manehattan! Taking in the hustle and bustle of this spectacular city is a lot more enjoyable when my career isn’t hanging in the balance. The map called Applejack and I here to solve a friendship problem, but neither of us are certain what it is yet. However, we only just arrived and I’m positive we’ll find it sooner or later. Who knows, by the time you’re reading this it may already be solved! I have a feeling it’ll take a bit longer than that though, and I don’t know what we’ll be doing in terms of lodgings, but Manehattan has some lovely hotels. Or perhaps I’ll go visit my dear friend Coco and see if she has a room to spare. Don’t worry about Sweetie, she’s been at my parent’s house all day and I wrote them a letter telling them to keep her there a bit longer. I feel just terrible for missing the Social, I owe it to her after all, but I’m hoping she’ll at least be able watch with Apple Bloom, and possibly Scootaloo. Tell the girls we’ll be back in a few days. I’d say four at the most. Goodness, it seems like I was just saying that when I left for Canterlot! We live in exciting times, do we not? I do wish you all were here though, I’m still not too fond of having to leave the four of you behind, but apparently this is up to me and Applejack. As for you, my dear Fluttershy, I greatly encourage you to accept Garden Gold’s offer. I assure you his intentions are honorable and you deserve somepony that will treat you like the beautiful and extraordinary mare that you are. I didn’t get a chance to mention this before but looks aren’t everything, you know. Maybe he just thought the Element of Kindness should be on the receiving end for once. Understanding and compassion are just as essential in a relationship as physical attraction. Plus, I may have already made a few sketches for your new evening gown on the ride here. Aheh. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you of my whereabouts. We had to leave in quite a rush and after racing back to the boutique to pack my things, which I had just unpacked by the way, I remembered you said you needed to go back home. Take care of yourself, darling, and remember everything I told you.
Your Friend,
Rarity
P.S. I haven’t gotten Applejack anything for her birthday either! Maybe I can find something here and sneak it home. We can say it’s from the both of us.
Fluttershy carefully folded the letter back up and held it tightly to her chest. It even smelled like Rarity's lavender perfume. The next few days were going to be difficult without her, but she would manage, just as she always did. She just had to stay busy. Perhaps she would go and visit the girls tomorrow and see if they could do something together. The Sisterhooves Social wasn’t exactly Fluttershy’s cup of tea, too many crowds and loud noises, but maybe they could find something else to do. Maybe she could clean up her cottage a little and invite Rarity over for tea when she got back to return the favor. Or maybe that's just an excuse to be alone with her again. The thought came from seemingly nowhere and much to Fluttershy’s surprise, she felt a blush coming on and her heart started to race. What’s gotten into me lately? I must be getting tired. It’s almost bedtime after all and it’s been a long day. I’m just not thinking clearly, she rationalized.
She checked up on all of her animals before grabbing her book and heading upstairs for the night, Angel scampering along behind her. She brought Rarity’s letter with her as well, wanting to read it one more time before she went to sleep.
Angel hopped up on the bed and settled in for the night while Fluttershy went to find a box of matches. While there was a substantial amount of moonlight coming in through her bedroom window, it was still too dark for Fluttershy’s liking and she always kept a candle burning next to her bed. The box of matches was sitting in its usual spot on her dresser and she fished one out and struck it against the side. She lit a candle and brought it over to her bed, cupping her hoof around the flame to keep it from extinguishing. She sat down on her bed, the springs creaking under her weight, and she placed the candle on her nightstand. As she did so, she saw the flame reflecting off something in the partially open drawer underneath. It was a small, circular mirror that Fluttershy hadn’t used it ages. Normally she wouldn’t have given it a second glance, but remembering what Rarity had said, she picked it up. Her mind screamed at her to put it away, to save herself the torment, but she had to do this for Rarity, if not for herself. Slowly, reluctantly, she raised it to her face.
The other Fluttershy, partially illuminated by the candlelight, greeted her. Instantly that urge to look away seized her, but instead of turning her head, she closed her eyes, and after a minute of summoning up the courage, was able to force them back open. As always, the voice flung insults at her like never before, but through it’s taunts, she could faintly hear Rarity’s cultured voice echoing behind them. The insults grew louder, but Fluttershy willed herself to only listen to Rarity until she was able to completely drown out the voice.
You’re nothing but an ugly excuse for a pony....
I see a pony who is as beautiful inside as she is outside....
You know how manipulative Rarity is. She was trying to make you see things that aren't there...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling, and you are a sight to behold...
And you almost believed her….
I don’t think anything could ever make you look any more stunning than you do just by being yourself….
Your beauty carries with it a certain air that I’ll never have, no matter what I do....
I don’t have your charming voice and dazzling eyes, but most of all, I don’t have your natural beauty….
Fluttershy concentrated on her voice with all of her might, trying to use it as an anchor as she attempted to try and find something, anything she still liked about herself. She studied her eyes, trying to see them through Rarity’s own and find what about them made her think they were dazzling. At first, nothing special stood out to her, they were just a pair of eyes, strangely shaped ones at that. But Rarity’s words rang true and she found the longer she looked at them, and really looked, not just the fleeting glances she had given herself all her life, the more she began to notice just how vibrant the turquoise in her irises really was. They sparkled in the candlelight as if they really were made of turquoise. She still believed the voice about her eye-shape being unsightly, but the eyes themselves were, in fact, dazzling, and it almost made up for it. I guess that counts as one.
She tried to recall anything else Rarity had said. Was her voice really charming? Not the disembodied voice in her head masquerading as herself, but her voice. It certainly wasn’t any more charming than Rarity’s, but it was charming in different way, she supposed. Rarity’s was posh and velvety, while hers was soft and dulcet. Voices were the one thing about a pony that never really changed. Sure, the pitch would fluctuate as you aged, but it would still carry with it that same unique sound that only you possessed. Since it wasn’t a physical feature, Fluttershy realized that her voice had been one of the few things she was never self-conscious of. In fact, she even enjoyed the way it sounded.
Number three wouldn't come as easily. She thought long and hard, trying to dig as deep as she could, but without Rarity’s guidance she kept coming up short. She tried looking through Rarity’s eyes again, but there just wasn’t anything else she liked about herself. There were things she felt half-heartedly about, but nothing she truly admired. She didn’t feel discouraged, however, she was actually feeling quite empowered by just being able to find two. This was her first time doing this after all and Rarity said it would get easier with time. Tomorrow, she would try again. Her eyelids were growing heavy, so she put the mirror back in it’s drawer and reached for Rarity’s letter, wanting to glance at it one more time before bed.
Fluttershy arranged the pillows just the way she liked and snuggled under the covers, trying not to disturb Angel who was slumbering peacefully at the foot of her bed. Suddenly, she felt something sharp jab into her ribs and she dropped the letter reflexively. “Ow!” She sprang back to a sitting position and put a hoof to her side. She peeled back each layer of blankets until she spied a small dark shape tangled between the sheets and comforter. Fluttershy pulled it out carefully and brought it into the candlelight. It was the rose Garden Gold had given her. He’d told her it was fresh picked, which explained the thorns. Even from a distance it smelled divine and Fluttershy held it up to her nose and took a wiff, delighting in the pleasant aroma. It must’ve gotten stuck in her bed after she’d come home crying and buried herself under the covers. As she admired the rose, she felt a stab of guilt for running away from him like that.
He really was a kind stallion, not to mention handsome. Maybe Rarity’s right. Maybe he really does like me. Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel a twinge of excitement at this. If it turned out his interest in her wasn’t solely to humiliate, this could be her chance to finally be with a stallion that would actually love her back. Every time a stallion had asked her out as a joke, there had always been a fleeting moment of hope, that maybe this time would be the time they really meant it. But then harsh reality was set back in, and she would remember as long as she looked the way she did, they would never mean it.
But now that Rarity had helped her to see reason, she realized Rarity really was right. Nopony had laughed at her, in fact, there had been nopony else around, and if Garden Gold had gone out of his way to pick a fresh rose, maybe he wasn’t like other stallions. Like Rarity said, there was more to a pony than just looks, and maybe Garden Gold loved her for who she was as a pony and not just what she looked like. Fluttershy had spent her entire life reading romance novels and dreaming of the day when she would find her special somepony, and if there was a chance Garden Gold could be it, she was willing to take a risk for once in her life. Tomorrow, she would find his peach stand and tell him yes. Even if she would be too nervous to speak at first.
But...something stopped her.
It was a feeling, one that, until now, Fluttershy hadn’t been able to place. It had been there ever since Rarity had said all those wonderful things about her as they sat in front of the mirror. Or maybe it had been there when Rarity was holding her while she told her about the colts and just hadn’t noticed it through the myriad of other emotions. But as she thought back, maybe it had been there all along. Maybe it was why Fluttershy had been counting down the days on her calendar to when Rarity got back. Maybe it was why every moment she spent with her made Fluttershy feel safe and warm, as if Rarity's presence was like a fleece blanket. Until now, all she knew was that she had felt it once before. It was a feeling she had only felt for the colt at flight camp, right before he planted the seed in her head that it would be something she would never feel for a stallion again. And he was right in a way, she hadn’t felt it for a stallion since then, not yet anyway, but she felt it for a mare. She now knew why Rarity’s question had made her so nervous. Fluttershy’s heart had known she was in love, it had just taken her brain a little longer to recognize the signals. Right now, they both were going a mile a minute. I’m in love with Rarity.
As soon as this realization struck her, she squealed and pulled the covers over her head, convinced that this feeling wouldn’t be able to find her under there and would just go away. Fluttershy tried to convince herself that it wasn’t true. Rarity had helped her through a very personal problem and she had shared with her a traumatic event from her past that she’d never told anypony else. It was normal to feel affection for her, but only the kind of closeness friends shared. If it was romantic, it was probably just misdirected from Garden Gold. Or maybe she just missed Rarity, absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. But as much as she tried to deny it, as much as tried to find a rational explanation, there was no mistaking it. She’d never mistake this feeling of euphoria and unadulterated affection. The only time she ever felt this way was when she was in love, and unlike the colt from flight camp, Fluttershy knew Rarity would never hurt her. Rarity had always been special to her, she looked forward to their spa dates more than anything else, and now, their friendship had blossomed into something much more.
Fluttershy shook her head vigorously, as though it would rattle her brain into thinking correctly again. When she finally stopped, it took her eyes a few seconds to stop rolling around in her skull. No, Fluttershy, Rarity is your best friend and that’s all she ever will be. What’s going to happen if things don’t work out? Do you really want to risk your friendship for something like that? What if we never speak to each other again?! She knew she was exaggerating, but the fear was enough to snap her back to reality, and she was able to see things with more clarity. Rarity was a mare seeking only for stallions, and so was Fluttershy for that matter. When did I even start liking mares in the first place? Rarity had always dreamed of a prince coming to sweep her off her feet, not a princess, and although she cared for Fluttershy a great deal, her feelings were strictly platonic. On top of all that, Rarity was so thrilled that Fluttershy had been asked out, and if Rarity found out she had turned Garden Gold down, she was going to want an explanation, one that Fluttershy was never going to give, not in Luna’s blue moon.
I’m just tired, that’s all it is. It’s been a long, emotionally exhausting day and my brain just isn’t functioning properly. I’ll go to bed, and all these feelings will be gone in the morning. I probably won’t even remember having them. I’ll find Garden Gold, plan a date, spend all day at the boutique getting fitted for my dress when Rarity comes home, have a wonderful date, plan a second, and everything will turn out fine. Rarity will be happy, Garden Gold will be happy, and I’ll….never have to worry about Rarity finding out I feel this way. I don’t even like mares anyway, so maybe being with a stallion will remind me of that. It’s better for everyone if I’m with Garden Gold.
Satisfied with her conclusion, Fluttershy leaned over and blew out the candle, plunging the room into darkness save for the moonlight cascading in through the window. She rested her head on the pillow and snuggled under her covers, which were now warmed up from her body heat. As she the veil of sleep began to fall over her, she looked out her window at the billions of scintillating stars that Luna had arranged in the night sky and couldn’t help but wonder if Rarity was looking at the same ones from a hotel balcony somewhere in Manehattan.
Fluttershy sighed wistfully into her pillow and whispered, “Goodnight Rarity.”
But she couldn’t let it end there. Before she let sleep overtake her, and before she pretended like none of this had ever happened when she woke up the next morning, she had to say one more thing. It wasn’t just what had happened today that warranted what she was about to say, it had just made her realize that today had been one of thousands. Fluttershy thought back to all the times Rarity had been there by her side to help her through the bad times and cheer her on through the good. All the times she’d wiped away her tears whether they were from laughter or despair. All the times she never gave up on her, not until she had Fluttershy smiling again, and how much all of it meant to Fluttershy was spoken of in one simple sentence. Whether or not it she meant it romantically or as a friend didn’t matter, it was true either way.
It was barely above a whisper, and had somepony been in the room they might not have heard it, but Angel, who had woken up when Fluttershy shifted around in the covers, heard it clearly.
“I love you.”
Whew! This is easily the longest thing I've ever written, not to mention the most revised and I have to say, I'm glad it's finally done. If you couldn't tell from this fic, I love Rarity and Fluttershy. I fell in love with them from the very first episode and I had such a wonderful time writing them together. I love Rarity because she has the ability to see a profound beauty in ponies that transcends beyond their outward appearance. It's like she's able to take a pony's inner beauty and symbolize it in the form of something else so they can experience just a fraction of it for themselves, whether it's through a simple compliment, a new dress, or dedicating an afternoon to helping a close friend. And I love Fluttershy because no matter what she's going through, she'll always put aside her own feelings or hide her emotions just so she doesn't have to see her friends get hurt. They're both truly incredible. I wrote this based mostly off personal experience, I've always struggled with insecurities and how I view myself versus how others view me. Fluttershy's story about the colts teasing her and her crush asking her out on joke is something that actually happened to me when I was in school. Although I suppose the jokes on them because I'm gay now hah! Anyway, I sincerely hope everyone enjoyed this little Rarishy story and thank you all for the lovely comments so far, it means the world to me! 
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7040881
I went ahead and made an epilogue. I can see you're point with all that text, but I'm not sure I'm going to break it up that much. I may add another chapter after they go upstairs but there isn't anywhere else where the story really shifts. It was intended to be a one shot after all
Ha! Oh Spike, I spend all day drawing pictures of Rarity too
I wish I could post pictures....I still can't figure it out 
7043399
Thank you so much! Just when I was starting to feel a little discouraged at already having two dislikes, you picked my spirits back up
Very beautiful story, nice job
7048161
Thanks! I love your username by the way!
7075513
Wow, thanks for making my day, quite possibly the rest of my life! I don't think anyone has ever told me they admire me before, and compliments like that bring happy tears to my eyes
With a username like that, I admire you too! I'm thrilled my little story could be of help, that's the whole reason why I wrote it, and while I think it's very far from a masterpiece, I can't tell you what it means to hear it referred to as such. 
7093195
Thanks Beast, I couldn't have done it without you! You don't know how grateful I am for your support!
Few comments so far. Huh, that's strange.
First off, the first chapter could use a proof-reader/editor. There were some repetitions in there that tried to throw me off, but, thanks to your talent in writing, didn't succeed.
Second - after the first two third of the first chapter, I grew... concerned, to be honest. I was interested in this story because it featured Shy, Rares and Romance - without being tagged as dark, tragic or stuff like that. I read those first parts and... really, really, really thought that Shy could use help. Like, 'professional help'. It got better later on, partly thanks to Rares, but that might just as well be me wanting it to be better...
I agree that, probably, everyone got that little bastard of a voice whispering jerky stuff at completely unreasonable times and some might not be able to cope with that or to stand against said voice. I can perfectly see Fluttershy being in that situation - but if she is? If she really is? I'm not all that sure if she'll be able to overcome that just by an afternoon-talk. Then again... she struggled, still. It wasn't solved just like that. Something I really appreciate about this story.
The ending left me a little bit hanging, but I think that was intended.
It's a wonderful little tale, thank you.
PS.: I hope you got rid of those jerks.
PPS.: In my humble opinion, most stick to what they admire most or what they 'know' most/best. Rarity has her dramatics and is proud of being a strong, independent, sometimes a bit girly mare. I'd guess that's just something rather few members of the fandom really admire or 'know' in any way. This is not, by any means, about reducing her to being just that - but other members of the main six, or, for that matter, of the cast in general just seem to be more obvious as a choice, I suppose.
As for myself... Rarity is my, oh wonder oh wonder, least favourite of the main six. I appreciate her. I cherish her. I just... love the rest a tad more. The reason for that is simply that I don't seem to have much in common with her. Like, at all. (Believe me, I gave it some thought.) I can't really understand her, get into her mindset. That said, I still admire her for her tons of qualities.
7098081
Oh I don't usually get many comments, it's not too out of the ordinary. However, the ones I do get I'm grateful for
I'm sorry this post is so long, I want to address everything you mentioned. I've always wondered: what's the difference between a proofreader and an editor? I have an editor and she does a great job, but I don't have a proofreader. Could you point out the repetitions? I'm not sure which ones you'd be referring to. Most Rarishy stories have sad and dark tags? I thought they were mostly slice-of-life. Time to go find those!
This story went through many revisions and the first two actually didn't include Fluttershy hearing the voice. I added it to make the story flow better and provide a catalyst for Fluttershy's behavior. I knew that she would never feel any ill-will towards Rarity or be unable to see what a beautiful mare she is without some force manipulating her. And you're right, that voice is inside all of us, we just cope with it differently. Some find ways to overcome it, like Rares, and some can't or need guidance, like Flutters. I'll admit that it does have some characteristics of schizophrenia, but that wasn't my original intention. I wanted the voice to be a more common thing, something less severe than that. I wanted to make Flutteshy's...I'm sure what you'd call it...healing? I wanted to make Fluttershy's healing gradual but I see your point, it isn't something that can be solved just like that. I'll admit it may have seemed a bit rushed at first and that Fluttershy had found a quick solution, but my intention was to make it a more "easier said than done" sort of thing. When the time came, Fluttershy wouldn't be able to find the third thing because it was going to be a process for her.
Was the ending a cliffhanger? I never thought I'd ever be a good enough writer to the point where people would want more! I always thought it was cliche to end a story with "I love you" but I just couldn't help myself! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it, and you're very welcome!
I should be thanking you for the feedback! And yes, those jerks don't bother as much anymore 
I can understand that the reason most people don't like Rarity is because she is the least-relatable of them all. "All we really like is what we know" after all
I know exactly what you mean about not having anything in common Rarity, believe me, I'm as far from her personality as you can get. I'm a laid-back tomboy like Applejack, morally opposed to wearing dresses like RD, and almost identical to Fluttershy personality wise. But the fact the she is so different is the whole reason I love her. There is something about her, a presence I can't really describe, that is so unique, something that I don't think a single other pony possess. She see's the world through different eyes. I don't know, it's hard to describe. I just love her, but I can understand why others don't, as much it saddens me.
7098163
I'm not completely sure, so what I'm going to say is just... 'my guess', I suppose? An editor looks out for structural flaws, plot-holes, pacing, stuff that just doesn't add up. An editor has a harder job because he's supposed to think with you about your story, how to improve it, how to avoid certain downfalls.
A proofreader 'just' searches for all those pesky little typing errors, mistakes in tense, accidentally switched names and stuff like that. (Which is still a ton of work.) He's not supposed to recommend changes to your story, it's pacing or anything, he's just searching for 'technical errors'.
Huh. Okay. I'm stupid, it seems.
I can't find any anymore or I'm blind or... yeah well, screw that - I f***ed up. Sorry 'bout that. 
My sincerest apologies.
Most? No, I wouldn't go so far as to speak of 'most' stories. But I got the feeling they're more prone to that than other ships...
I don't think this process is something that's going to be complete in a few hours, days or even months. In my own experience - healing what years of downfall/horror caused needs the same amount of time... if not more. I just fear it could make her depend on Rarity and her support - which is a dangerous thing once mixed with romantic interests. That's a good way to lead to obsessions.
It sure was. Is she going to date the nice guy who's maybe really interested in her? Will it be another downfall, somehow? Will she come clean with Rarity? What's Raritys take an all this? There's still so much potential, so many ways unexplored, so many questions unanswered. Of course it's a cliffhanger - a fine one, too.
And yeah, it's totally cheesy and cliché. So what about it? It doesn't matter as long as it's good and entertaining. Which it was. There's a reason 'the classics' became 'the classics' in the first place...
No need to. I'm just a random idiot on the internet, throwing my scattered thoughts at artists.
That's good to hear.
Differences attract, or something along that line?
Although I don't count myself among Raritys biggest fans... I'm always glad that she got those fans.
7098286
Oh I see, so is it necessary to have a proofreader or can an editor do a proofreader's job in addition? I suppose if that were the case there wouldn't be any proofreaders, so they must be separate from editors.
Oh Mermerus, don't worry about it, it's totally fine! I do stuff like all the time, trust me. I'm just glad there aren't any
You know, the odd thing is, I actually haven't read many Rarishy stories outside of....ahem....clop
But that's where I got my love for Rarishy, that and events in the show. They're just perfect for each other, especially now that we know Fluttershy can sew (which may be the basis for an upcoming story of mine 
) I wonder why they have more sad and dark tags than other ships.
You're right, it would probably take as long to break it down as it did to build it up, which for Fluttershy was years. I think she's been coping with her bullying a lot better now that she has her friends, but the aftermath of it is still there. She's been dealing with the voice all her life and it definitely isn't something that's going to go away all of a sudden. If I had a larger time frame I would've spread it out more: Fluttershy's ups and downs, her struggles, her successes. But I didn't have that long and I had to leave whether or not Fluttershy was able to overcome her hardships up the reader. Do you think it's a weak point in the writing and I should add a little more closure?
That's true, I remember writing something about Fluttershy not being able to find something she liked about herself on her own, without Rarity providing examples. And now that Flutters knows she can't let Rarity now about her feelings, I can see how that could lead to obsession. But my hope is that one day she'll have enough confidence in herself by her own efforts and some of Rarity's support the tell Rarity how she feels.
Woohoo! My first successful cliffhanger! Do you think a sequel is order? I hadn't intended on one, but I would write anything for anyone at the drop of a hat. If I were to write one, it would probably be Flutters dating Garden Gold and finding that he is deeply in love with her. Flutters would be so happy that her feelings for Rarity would sort of get put on the back burner, but they would still surface when she was with her. Rarity would be secretly jealous of Garden Gold to the point where she would tell Fluttershy how she feels, and then Fluttershy would be faced with a dilemma. Anyway, just a thought. And you're right, people write cliche things all the time because there are times when they make the story better!
I understand, I'm not a big fan of Rainbow Dash, but I can still appreciate certain qualities about her. Sometimes
. And yes, sometimes it seems I stand alone as Rarity's sole protector. I respect people like you who can tell me that they don't like Rarity in a polite way, I wish more people were like you. I haven't been so fortunate in the past. I would never say anything bad about Rainbow Dash (even if I wanted to), especially to those who I knew adored her, so I don't understand why the minute people find out I love Rarity, they say horrible things about her right to my face. There are things I can even repeat. Why does there have to be so much hate out there, Mermerus? 
Oh, and thank you so much for saying I have writing talent, it really means a lot! Teens like me live for compliments like that!
7098447
I'm not sure, but... maybe we've reached the point where we should send messages instead of spaming in the comment section? This is your comment section, so that decision is up to you...
Depends pretty much on the person you're asking. If he/she's up for it, go for it. Asking never hurts, does it?
Something you might already know about or otherwise would like to read: Listen, Language, Lust (trilogy) and, of course, whatever Steel Resolve is writing up. Green, for example. I don't read stories until they're finished, so I didn't read a single line of Green yet, but it's Steel. He's writing good stuff. Always.
As for the clop, well... there's 'clop' and there's 'mature'. The first one would be about a shortish sex-scene with little to no plot while the other weaves sex-scenes into the plot when it fits, without derailing it or stealing it's spotlight. Both is fine - you just have to know what you're looking for. No reason to be embarrassed about it, either.
... yeah, to be honest - I don't know why. Maybe you should try asking those who write these fics, though. Maybe they can be a bit more helpful.
I think the show's doing a good job at showing her up's and down's so far. As for your tale... I think it's good the way it stands now. But as I already mentioned - there would be enough potential for a sequel. If you're willing to write one, of course.
I don't know if it's 'in order' - I don't command you to do anything, really. You do write good stuff and know about how to portray those two. So if you write one, try to remember me and give me a heads-up. Once it's finished, I'll probably read it.
That being said, try to remember one thing a whooole lot of writers tend to forget about while shipping Rarity with, well, anypony: Spike. He's not just winking out of existence. He's one of Fluttershys friends just as he's one of Raritys friends. And he's got a major crush. If he isn't around - why? Where is he? If he is around: How's he being treated? Is Rarity finally going to burst his bubble? Having some 'adult talk'? Or, what would be more unique: Maybe it's even Fluttershy, talking to him? Or, even better still: It's Spike himself, talking to Flutters as he sees their bond grow stronger.
He's there. He's in love with Rares. And he's maturing. A lot of potential, too - but even if you don't want do deal with him, don't just 'forget' all about him, too.
Aw chucks, thank you!
It's not that I don't like her. I do. I just like the rest of those six more than her.
Come to think of it, I don't think there's a single pony I don't like in some way...
Okay. This is weird.
Never happened to me, to be honest. Then again, I'm a rather... reclusive type.
I was an asshole, years back, being polite instead of being honest. And yes - if you think about it, that's a huuuge difference. While I still try to be polite, I'll also try to be honest - finding a balance between those two is the trick. If I'm downvoting something, I always try to explain why. In your case, thankfully, that wasn't even necessary. Because it was good. I didn't have to downvote, I didn't have to explain anything. Telling you that you have a talent for writing? It's the honest truth. Well, in my opinion anyway. (But I read only through roughly more than five hundred stories and I don't think that's all that much.)
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plus I'm responding on my phone right now and I can't use quotes. Oh no. You mentioned Steel Resolve. Be prepared for ten pargraphs of me fangirling over him. How did you know I was a huge fan of Steel? Did you read my posts on the self-doubting writers group? Now we really have to PM so people don't see me gushing about Steel! He was actually the one who inspired me to write this fic.
Yeah I think we should start PMing since our replies seem to be getting longer
I was amazed to realize you were in high school. Most people don't come to such a mature understanding of relationships and insecurities and overcoming oneself until much later in life.
This will sound strange, but I love that no matter how long she stood in front of the mirror, Fluttershy was only able to find two things to admire about herself. That's powerful, because it's realistic-- it takes time and patience and a lot of setbacks to undo emotional damage like that and learn to love yourself again. You recognize that, and you show even those two things to be the victory they are.
Thank you for writing this story. You have so much talent.
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It doesn't sound strange at all, that's what I was going for 
As much as I wanted it to end happily with Fluttershy instantly realizing what a wonderful pony she is, it took years for her to build up this skewed self-image and it was going to take just as long to overcome it. It definitely wouldn't be something that happened overnight, there would be struggles, but there would also be victories and I wanted her to at least be able to find two. This story is based on my experiences growing up, and even now I still have a hard time finding the positive aspects of myself. I'll admit, being such a young author I was a bit hesitant to delve into such a sensitive subject, I wasn't sure I had the skill nor the experience to make it come across as realistic, so it's a huge relief to hear that you think it is! 
As for the mature understanding of insecurities and relationships -- I'm beyond flattered! 
I've had my fair share of insecurities and unfortunately I'm well aware of how detrimental they can be. As for relationships...well....I've never been in one 
. For the romance portion I was basically going off of what I imagined romance to feel like and everything I've seen from other romance writers that I admire. 
Gosh, thank you so much! It means to the world to me. And you're very welcome!
Sorry this is so long, I tend to write a lot
I'm on the older side of high school, I graduate in 28 days woohoo! I've been told I'm mature for my age, and it's always a huge compliment to me, but in reality I'm really not. My mom and I still make fart jokes and I still watch cartoons, mainly MLP and Steven Universe whilst eating fruity pebbles in a onesie
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Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed
This is so beautifully crafted. The emotions feel so real and gahhh so much feels!
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Gosh, I really appreciate that, thank you very much! It took me quite a while to write this story but I'm so glad it turned out well and comments like yours make it completely worthwhile
Ugh, hate to be the one point it out, but that goes against the very message of this very own story of yours. There will always be literary works better and worse than yours. Staying humble and striving for perfection is commendable, but don't let adherence to those ideals push the pendulum into the other, unhealthy direction.
An fun math problem for you: how many professional writers do you think have their works published on this site? Those perfectly structured, flawlessly flowing stories, bereft of all the decidedly unforgivable "sins" that make editors exhibit draconic traits at times - are those the only kind worthy of praise, the only kind able to convey ideas deserving of attention and emotions that can deeply resonate within readers? If that truly was the case, I would have had about a dozen author names in my directory for saved stories. Fine, two dozen at most. But there are 137 of those at the moment and I've only recently went into 2012.
As for Rarity, the character helped me a great deal to re-evaluate the way I see a vaguely defined category of real life women whom she represents. While many are, indeed, shallow and vain victims of "beauty" and/or fashion industry, there are some true gems to be found, no matter how much of a rarity they might be. It is, after all, not about skirts or make-up. What truly matters is whether outward appearance frames and reflects inner beauty, whether there is one behind the facade of some description everyone has anyway.
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Let me say this first off; it's a decent story with well characterised-characters, though there are a few flaws here and there. It's mostly in the way of formatting, so don't worry too much about the plot, characters and execution itself.
I'd post a serious, longer review later, most likely in a few weeks time.