• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 29th, 2017

Dr. Tails


E

Applejack and Pinkie are having their monthly baking day, when the unthinkable happens.
The cookbook has gone missing! Will our heroines find the book, or is the baking a bust?



This is my very first fic. As such, I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism.



Picture by AmazonMandy on DeviantArt

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

For a first fanfic I think you did fairly well ^^ Good description, nice dialogue. The only minor issue I am seeing is some grammar errors here there, like 'was' where it should say 'were', or other mechanics issues with spelling and sentence structure. I think if it's not obvious for you to fix it yourself, you might try getting a good friend of yours whether offline or online to proofread it for you, and you two can collaborate on what the issues are, so that you can avoid them altogether in the future. But overall, this is a fantastic start to your journey in being a writer ;)

742623

Glad you liked it :pinkiesmile:
Thanks for telling me about the grammar errors and issues, I'll try working on those.

I enjoyed this as a light-hearted read. As someone preparing a first fic myself, it was interesting to see your first attempt.
I saw a few grammar points, but nothing so grave that it detracted from the story, and it is more than possible that I've made grammar errors in this short reply alone, so I wouldn't be too put off by that if I were you :twilightsmile:
I wish you the best of luck in your writing future. :moustache:

742720

Thank you, kind sir! :pinkiesmile:

Hah, I really liked this. Wasn't too long, or too short. And it was something I could see happening in the show. You stayed true to who the two characters were, so good job on that as well. :twilightsmile:

743193

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Aw, this was great. :D Can't believe it wasn't shipping, you portrayed their close friendship perfectly. :pinkiesmile: :ajsmug:

This could totally be an episode:pinkiehappy:

great job, especially for your first fic. I love how you stayed true to the show, leaving shipping out and instead having a very close friendship between Applejack and Pinkie Pie. It was a light hearted, fun read and I look forward to more of your work in the future, have a couple stashes and a trollestia to sick on you enemies :moustache::moustache: :trollestia:

811778
Thank you :twilightsmile:
My enemies won't stand a chance now :rainbowwild:

Adorable. It does have its problems; paragraph spacing is messed up in a lot of places, and occasionally the dialogue feels a bit stiff. But overall, very adorable. I like the headcanon that AJ and Pinkie get together and bake on a regular basis. These two need to get an episode together.

2370088

Yeah, grammar and spacing and such is my greatest weakness. English not being my first language doesn't help the matter. Other than that, thanks for the fave :pinkiesmile:

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