Eric accepts an offer of off-campus residence at the Pie’s rock farm in exchange for physical labor and other help around the house. A certain soft-spoken, incredibly shy yet cute mare named Marble makes everything that much better.
“You’re not crying in agony from the work yesterday… you’re getting better,” Marble added with a sly, diagonal smirk to go along with her little quip, nodding as if she was impressed. “And I’m just fine; slept like a log as always.” ... “Good morning, everypony,” a familiar, meek-sounding voice intruded into the silence, and Eric’s smile brightened immediately. Marble entered into the room,
I think you might have put the wrong name in there somewhere.
“You’re not crying in agony from the work yesterday… you’re getting better,” Marble added with a sly, diagonal smirk to go along with her little quip, nodding as if she was impressed. “And I’m just fine; slept like a log as always.”
Just a small note, with this paragraph here, he is talking to Limestone, but you have Marble as the one who replies. Then two paragraphs later Marble enters the room.
Marble and Eric's first experience with fingering and oral was extremely hot and I really like how confident in her flirting Marble has become. Likewise, it's nice to see Limestone and Igneous developed a greater liking for Eric.
“You’re not crying in agony from the work yesterday… you’re getting better,” Marble added with a sly, diagonal smirk to go along with her little quip, nodding as if she was impressed. “And I’m just fine; slept like a log as always.”
This was said before Marble entered the room. So I guess you meant Limestone?
The relationship between these two cannot be any more well laid out. They are going at a pace that is slow enough to make sense for Marble but fast enough to keep us interested. It makes for a very satisfying read.
“Hey Marble,” Limestone greeted her sister, continuing to much her oatmeal. Marble, however, defaulted to Eric’s side and smashed herself into him with a deep, affectionate hug, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her cheek elatedly into his.
Pretty sure she'd rather munch her oatmeal ^^
“Oh trust me, I have no intention to... I love what I see,” she shot back, emphasizing his words by flicking his eyes down to Marble’s butt.
Eric suddenly became a woman =P
“Kiss me…” Marble demanded, and Eric wordlessly complied, locking lips with her once more. This time, both of them allowed their hands to roam boundlessly over each other’s bodies, and Eric’s gladly affixed them to her waist waist… only to slip under her shirt and feel up her smooth, toned tummy that he had only laid eyes on by virtue of her shirt riding up her midriff once in a while
...Eric dove into the mare’s neck and began gently nippling and suckling...
Should be nibbling
… granted, through fabric and a bra, but still!
Needs to be a comma where the big bold one is.
The whole slew of happy thoughts that breached their way into Eric’s mind at the very mention of ‘marefriend.’
Two things here: the full stop and inverted comma at the end are backwards, and as a whole this sentence doesn't make sense. Fix it however you see fit
I haven't put the "Marble should be Limestone" or "much should munch" error, as two others already pointed those out
So! Awesome story and I can never wait to see more Happy hunting!
Thou truly must stop calling me, ‘sir.’” No ... Call me .... FATHER ... . I wonder if Pinkie pie can tell somethings up with her sister...even all da way in ponyville threw some weird pinkiecrazypie link ...
Marble got bolder... and she reached new heights which she had not hitherto known. Certainly surprised Eric there. And indeed, later that night, there is no surprise that he did not mind not getting more attention from her than which he gave her. After all, it was merely the first one. And it went splendidly.
Fun though that they thought they could keep secrets from the family. But great to know that they approve Also that last line... I was wondering if that request will be made eventually. He's been there for a while afterall, and fit in quite well!
This is a wonderfully done story. I suppose the lack of obstacles or actual issues makes it a bit less of a nail biter *Marble gets over her shyness fairly quickly when it's all said and done.*, but it is sweet and I do enjoy an uncomplicated romance story every now and then.
Marble is very cute in this, and Maud's personality earlier in the story was pretty good too. I was kind of expecting some potential conflict with Maud, but with her out of the story so much it seems I was mistaken.
Plus, he now has the father's approval. Though I somehow doubt he or Lime really know how far things have gone between them yet.
Looking forward to seeing the last two chapters of this.
7139214 Yeah this was mainly supposed to be a short 'make you feel good' story; not really any conflict, but just character building, if anything. Super glad you're enjoying it thus far, though!
Noooooooo, why did it stop This story is phenomenal in both composition and execution. I was reading the third chapter last night, resolving to go to bed afterwards, only to find myself a quarter of the way through the forth chapter. I looked to the clock and saw the time was 1:30 am and berated myself for staying up so late again. However, I truly love this story and can't wait to read more from you, I'm actually going to go to your page and see what else you have written.
I have it in my head Limestone was by the shed... listening in... *People stare at me* LET ME DREAM OF SOME SWEET MAUD AND LIMESTONE ON ERIC ACTION PEOPLE! jEEZ!
Awesome job on this man, awesome job! Such awesome characterization once again, great moments, and just sweet and wonderful wording~ I am just loving how this is going ,everything is just, awesome! so damn good work on this so far man, you are a damn good writer... I dare say...
7145706 As you can see by my last two comments, I did in fact, enjoy this piece of work, and I do hope to see more in the coming future~
I'd also hope for something else coughcoughMaud and Limestone on Eric but not at the same time actioncoughcough Draft in here, whew! But Ima follow you and this fantastic story, so keep it up man!
It does an old soul well to see his daughter smile,
*doth
Now, run along; you have class in the morning,
*thou hast
A couple pointers: -- Remember a few chapters back when I told you about the difference between my/mine and thy/thine? Well, you've got it backwards. It's mine/thine before vowels and h (which was silent in most dialects at the time), and my/thy elsewhere. -- Third-person singular conjugation usually uses the -eth suffix (with some irregularities, i.e. he/she is, doth, hath).
The only thing that prevented him from doing just that was the fact that he had no style, nor did he have any grace… he was proud of the fact he didn’t have a funny face, though, so Eric at least had that going for him.
But the real question is: Can he handstand when he needs to? Or stretch his arms out just for you? You just made my night with that reference. After finals, I need to dust off the ol' N64 and actually beat that game finally.
Also i was so extremely overjoyed by the end of Igneous' discussion, and wondering how these two different creatures will stay together in the end! IF they stay together in the end!!
On a different note, i want to praise you for your more erotic scenes! I funny have precise weirding to express that praise, but still
He had never been in an actual mine before, though admittedly, the ones back on Earth that he could have ventured to were abandoned and dangerous… probably haunted as well; hopefully if the latter was the case here, it would be one of those advertising ghosts for Pizza Hut or something.
Umm...
In the first section, Limestone occasionally was referred to as Marble.
https://youtu.be/RcP91tQ4ZSM?t=1m21s
Lanky's awesome. (Tiny's better though.)
I think you might have put the wrong name in there somewhere.
Just a small note, with this paragraph here, he is talking to Limestone, but you have Marble as the one who replies. Then two paragraphs later Marble enters the room.
Marble and Eric's first experience with fingering and oral was extremely hot and I really like how confident in her flirting Marble has become. Likewise, it's nice to see Limestone and Igneous developed a greater liking for Eric.
Fatherly approval? Check. Permission to stop calling him sir? Granted. Eric you are clear to engage.
Motherfucker can't even handstand, when he needs to, nor stretch his arms out just for you.
This was said before Marble entered the room. So I guess you meant Limestone?
And thus, the moment was ruined forever.
The relationship between these two cannot be any more well laid out. They are going at a pace that is slow enough to make sense for Marble but fast enough to keep us interested. It makes for a very satisfying read.
Also it is always the shy ones. ALWAYS.
Kinda sad that ou glossed over Eric's first go at eating her out, but I can always hope for a flashback...
Pretty sure she'd rather munch her oatmeal ^^
Eric suddenly became a woman =P
Doubled word here.
Errors I found:
Should be nibbling
Needs to be a comma where the big bold one is.
Two things here: the full stop and inverted comma at the end are backwards, and as a whole this sentence doesn't make sense. Fix it however you see fit
I haven't put the "Marble should be Limestone" or "much should munch" error, as two others already pointed those out
So! Awesome story and I can never wait to see more
Happy hunting!
Thou truly must stop calling me, ‘sir.’”
No ...
Call me .... FATHER ... .
I wonder if Pinkie pie can tell somethings up with her sister...even all da way in ponyville threw some weird pinkiecrazypie link ...
Pilgrim pimping of the youngest born, done by the head of the household.
I think ive become addicted to this story because I need more!
Seriously enjoying the story, every character of it!!
Reasons... Reasons are good!!
Marble got bolder... and she reached new heights which she had not hitherto known.
Certainly surprised Eric there.
And indeed, later that night, there is no surprise that he did not mind not getting more attention from her than which he gave her.
After all, it was merely the first one.
And it went splendidly.
Fun though that they thought they could keep secrets from the family. But great to know that they approve
Also that last line... I was wondering if that request will be made eventually. He's been there for a while afterall, and fit in quite well!
7126087 I say we need to give him more reasons.
7126096 new heights lolzz
Why can't I up vote this more than once?
I just LOVE this story!! Can't wait for the next chapter!!
I have to remember that one.
Jackpot!
Great story!
One small, meaningless error:
It should be “Gah!!” or “GAH!!”, but not an mixture of both.
~Awesome Moment From Eric And Marble~
7126590 Yes, R E A S O N S ! !
This is a wonderfully done story. I suppose the lack of obstacles or actual issues makes it a bit less of a nail biter *Marble gets over her shyness fairly quickly when it's all said and done.*, but it is sweet and I do enjoy an uncomplicated romance story every now and then.
Marble is very cute in this, and Maud's personality earlier in the story was pretty good too. I was kind of expecting some potential conflict with Maud, but with her out of the story so much it seems I was mistaken.
Plus, he now has the father's approval. Though I somehow doubt he or Lime really know how far things have gone between them yet.
Looking forward to seeing the last two chapters of this.
7139214 Yeah this was mainly supposed to be a short 'make you feel good' story; not really any conflict, but just character building, if anything. Super glad you're enjoying it thus far, though!
Noooooooo, why did it stop
This story is phenomenal in both composition and execution. I was reading the third chapter last night, resolving to go to bed afterwards, only to find myself a quarter of the way through the forth chapter. I looked to the clock and saw the time was 1:30 am and berated myself for staying up so late again.
However, I truly love this story and can't wait to read more from you, I'm actually going to go to your page and see what else you have written.
I have it in my head Limestone was by the shed... listening in...
*People stare at me*
LET ME DREAM OF SOME SWEET MAUD AND LIMESTONE ON ERIC ACTION PEOPLE!
jEEZ!
Awesome job on this man, awesome job! Such awesome characterization once again, great moments, and just sweet and wonderful wording~ I am just loving how this is going ,everything is just, awesome! so damn good work on this so far man, you are a damn good writer... I dare say...
Ima follow you.
So keep up the fantastic work!
7145706
As you can see by my last two comments, I did in fact, enjoy this piece of work, and I do hope to see more in the coming future~
I'd also hope for something else coughcoughMaud and Limestone on Eric but not at the same time actioncoughcough Draft in here, whew! But Ima follow you and this fantastic story, so keep it up man!
He could probably handstand when he needs to, but can he stretch his arms out?
So he's got (assumed) approval from Limestone, and Igneous' blessing. Now we need Maud to walk in on them in the middle of it.
*thee
*my bureau?
*my
*thine
*my
*doth
*thou hast
A couple pointers:
-- Remember a few chapters back when I told you about the difference between my/mine and thy/thine? Well, you've got it backwards. It's mine/thine before vowels and h (which was silent in most dialects at the time), and my/thy elsewhere.
-- Third-person singular conjugation usually uses the -eth suffix (with some irregularities, i.e. he/she is, doth, hath).
But the real question is: Can he handstand when he needs to? Or stretch his arms out just for you?
You just made my night with that reference. After finals, I need to dust off the ol' N64 and actually beat that game finally.
I think Igneous would be the epitome of the phrase "don't call me sir I work for a living"
We all know that's a lie encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSBCsgddAFwveGFgTuFLc7Y1m_oEq1vGYq5R8AkAp8Zmw1i-TfZ8tXsujcB
...but seriously, this mantra caught me off guard
Also i was so extremely overjoyed by the end of Igneous' discussion, and wondering how these two different creatures will stay together in the end! IF they stay together in the end!!
On a different note, i want to praise you for your more erotic scenes! I funny have precise weirding to express that praise, but still
I'm reading this while working at Dominos
9300995
Huh. My first food delivery job was at Domino's back in the 90's.