• Published 27th Aug 2019
  • 1,551 Views, 148 Comments

Chaotic Harmony: Do Over - shirotora

A human finds himself in Equestria where other humans - turned into one of the various native races - have been living for hundreds of years.

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Chapter 1: Hello, Equestria

Author's Note:

It has begun!


So, this story is not going to be just a remake of Chaotic Harmony, but an entire re-imagining. Some major differences will be noticed right away in this first chapter, but many, many more will follow.

One of those differences, I decided to add was an inclusion of my accent for Shiro. I've always written AJ with her accent, and mine's very similar, so I figured I would give Shiro the same. Mostly, it's just for fun. However, I'm not writing it into the narraration or his internal monologue.

Another difference is the character of Shiro is going to be a little less of a self insert. For one, he's going to be a little younger than me (only a few years, though). So, Shiro is going to be more 'inspired' by me, not based on me.

Also, this will begin a bit after season 3. This also means it's only 2013 on Earth. Keep that in mind while reading.

A shaft of light interrupted my pleasant slumber as it pierced through my window and homed in on my closed eyes. I let out a low growl and rolled over, intent on hiding from that evil fireball called Sol.

A couple of minutes later, when my brain finally started to wake up, I noticed a couple things wrong. First, my window faced west, so there was no way the morning sun should wake me. Second, when last I checked, my bed wasn't made of mossy stone.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, intent on solving this mystery. Glancing around, I found myself sleeping on a large, moss covered boulder in the middle of the woods. My brain still wasn't quite awake enough to properly process this information, so I pushed myself into a sitting position, blinking dumbly.

Still trying to figure out what was going on, I scratched an itch behind my ear with a foot and took a look around. It was your average, everyday forest of mostly oak trees, with a layer of autumn leaves on the...

Something hit me like a bucket of bricks...

Something I just did that was wholly unusual...

Ever so slowly, I reached my left foot up...

And scratched behind my left ear.

I turned to face the anomaly and blinked several times in utter confusion.

I stared at the furry appendage for several long seconds. A part of me realized this was my leg, but the rest couldn't believe it. After all, my leg wasn't furry, and it certainly wasn't shaped like that.

My eyes followed the leg-that-couldn't-be-mine down to an equally furry body. The white fur stood out exquisitely against the darker surroundings, and the black stripes accented the snowy fur beautifully.

I was at such a loss, I couldn't even begin to comprehend my situation, so I laughed.

The mind is a truly amazing machine. It has so many ways to protect itself, that we are still trying to understand them all. One method of self defense the mind has is simple denial. It will deny the 'truth' presented if it's too much to handle and substitute its own. Naturally, my mind denied the truth of my furry, striped leg and decided that I was either bat-shit crazy, or simply dreaming.

And dreaming is so much easier to accept.

With a laugh, I jumped off my 'bed' and landed on all fours. Yet more proof that this was just a lucid dream was the fact that I didn't even have to think about walking around on four legs, I just did. After all, I had read plenty of stories to know that there's always a mandatory 'tripping over your own feet' moment in these stories.

So, there I was, padding around some random forest, just taking in the sights. After about ten minutes of trees, flowers, and birds, as lovely as they were, I started to get a little bored.

“What should Ah make this?” I thought out loud. I figured if this was a lucid dream, I might as well have some fun with it.

Maybe a zombie apocalypse? Or something kinda sexy... Oh! Jedi Mal fighting the Reaper invasion! That last one had me laughing a bit.

Just then, I heard what sounded like talking as a flash of movement passed overhead. Curious to see if my Firefly/Star Wars/Mass Effect fantasy started already, I climbed up the tallest tree I could find. It felt rather weird to be digging claws I never had into the living wood, but I thought nothing of it at the time. When I reached the top, I peered over the forest. I couldn't see that much, considering there were quite a few trees nearly as tall, and a couple even taller. However, I did see what looked like the roofs of buildings that seemed more fitting in a fantasy, with bright thatching, a little ways away. Whatever it was that flew overhead was already gone, so I decided to head toward the town.

Maybe I'll find some friendly villager that will direct my to the Ice Rod every time I try to talk to him. I giggled laughed a manly laugh at my corny joke.

So, I jogged off, a bit of a skip in my step, in the hopes of adventure and fun. As I went, I started to hear voices, so I knew I was getting close. Finally, I came to the edge of the woods. Now, when I say the 'edge', I mean the edge. In a way that only a dream can do, the forest just stopped abruptly a few feet in front of me.

From my position, I could finally see who was talking; three familiar youngsters... Or, at least, I figured it was them. Granted, they didn't look quite like they did in the show, but there was no mistaking the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Applebloom was the same canary yellow with the red apple mane and big pink bow, though she was noticeably bulkier than the other two, muscle wise. Sweetie Belle was taller than the others, and her mane shifted gradually from lavender to pink as opposed to a hard border between the two colors, but she was still her. Scootaloo was smaller than the others, with much bigger wings than the show depicted, but like the others, was still recognizable.

All three also had much smaller eyes than the show, though still about three times as big as a similarly sized human. Also, their legs weren't quite as marshmallowy, but more horse-like. It was as if my mind was trying to make them more realistic. Oh, well. I liked the cartoon versions, but these were equally adorable. That said, I decided to do what any sane person would do when confronted with the Trio of Adorable Destruction; hug them.

I leaped from the woods and bound straight for them, a huge grin plastered on my face. The filly's eyes snapped to me, eyes widening in terror before letting out a screeching wail of fear and taking off in the opposite direction.

Immediately, my smile vanished in my confusion. Why would they be scared of me in my dream? Shouldn't they have been happy to see me, and gladly return the gesture?

These questions were answered in the worst possible way as a multicolored blur slammed into me, sending me flying several feet away, landing quite painfully. This told me two very important things. First, it told me I wasn't dreaming. While you actually can feel pain in dreams, anything more than a small twinge will usually jar you awake instead. This was much, much more than a small twinge. The second thing it told me was that Best Pony was real... and she was about to kick my ass.

I twisted around midair just in time to see her hind legs rocket towards my face.

Fuck my life...

In all my life back on Earth, I never had a hangover. Sure, I drank, but never got drunk. I would get a little tipsy and stop there. Therefore, I didn't really know what a hangover felt like, but if it felt anything like the headache I had upon waking up, I knew I made the right choice in avoiding them.

“Ugh... mah head,” I uttered quietly as I stirred awake.

I started to sit up as I rubbed my temples, hoping it would ease my cranial agony. Instead, I felt a sharp pain shoot right through my butt bone. However, instead of a scream of pain, the sound that I made was more like that of a big cat.

All my pains were instantly forgotten as my eyes shot open. As I turned to see what caused my sudden pain, I saw I had stepped on my own tail...

My tail...


Memories of my 'dream' jumped to the forefront of my mind. I lifted my hands to look at them, wiggling my now furry fingers. My gaze went up towards my surroundings.

Not surprisingly, I was in a cage. What was surprising, though, was that it was actually quite comfortable. I was laying on a rather soft... Pet bed? It looked like one, if they made them bear sized. There was a large bowl (more of a tub) of water and... a scratching post. I actually groaned at that.

Beyond the cage, I could see a large yard, full of various small animals, and a quaint cottage a little ways away. The cottage itself looked like something right out of a fairytale. It was as if someone had grown it rather than built it.

It was then I heard the sound of voices coming from within.

“- do you mean?” came one voice.

It was answered by another, softer voice, “Well, for one, its front paws kind of resemble a monkey's, but with claws, and its hips seem to be able to pivot.”

“Pivot? You mean it can stand upright?” the first asked in confusion.

“Or on all fours,” the second confirmed, now louder as the cottage door opened.

“Similar to a werewolf...” the first trailed off, pondering as the two finally came into view.

They were... ponies. And similar to the crusaders from the previous day, these two were very familiar, if quite different. Both had a build more similar to that of a pony from Earth, but that's about the only similarity.

One had the butter yellow coat, and long pink mane she had in the show, but her wings were huge by comparison. Even folded, I could tell they were each likely at least as long as her entire body. Then there was her tails. Yes, I said tails, plural, or maybe it was still one tail, with two distinct parts? One was the regular horse tail, while the other was a bundle of long feathers like one would find on a bird.

The other had the lavender coat and striped, dark blue mane I recognized, but her horn, while still spiraled, had a slight backwards curve. Also, her hooves were cloven, like those of a deer, and her tail resembled that of a lion. She was certainly a unicorn, but more like those from myth rather than the show.

I wasn't sure how long I was studying them, but apparently they noticed. They gave me curious looks before glancing at each other and back to me.

“Is it studying us?” Twilight asked, she took a cautious step forward. “Maybe... Can you understand me?” she asked slowly and hesitantly.

I looked back and forth between the two ponies before nodding. “Y-yeah...”

Their eyes widened in surprise before the unicorn's eyes narrowed slightly. “Why did you attack those foals?”

For a moment, I was rather baffled by her question, but I quickly realized to what she was referring.

“Uh... Oh... well, the thing is...” I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. Eventually, I just sighed and resigned myself to admitting my stupidity. “Ah thought Ah was dreaming, and when Ah saw them three... Well, they were just so damn adorable that Ah... wanted to hug them.”

The unicorn cocked an eyebrow in confusion before suddenly laughing loudly. “Wow... Really? I mean, it's not the first time I've heard of someone just having the urge to hug a pony, but usually they're...” Her eyes shot back wide open, though this time it seemed to be in revelation more than confusion. “Are... are you human?”

It was my turn to be surprised. Ignoring the fact that she knew what a human was, how the hell did she make the conclusion that I was human just because I wanted to hug a pony? I mean, I knew she was smart... Or, well, I knew Twilight Sparkle was smart, who this unicorn may or may not be, but how could even a super genius like her deduce that?

“Y-yes? How...?” I started, but just couldn't formulate the question.

The unicorn sighed and turned to the other, whispering too quiet for me to hear. They conversed for a few seconds before the unicorn turned back to be. Her horn seemed to ignite in a magenta blaze, one that surrounded the door to my cage and opened it.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my good friend Fluttershy,” she introduced herself and her pegasus friend. “Please stay close to me. We're heading into town, and I don't want ponies to panic.”

I cautiously stepped out of my enclosure and approached the two. I'll be honest, I was scared. I wasn't sure if these two were dangerous or not. I mean, I knew how they were in the show, but there was no way to know if that was how they really were.

“It's okay, we won't hurt you,” Fluttershy assured me in a soothing voice. It was as if her voice was laced with magic, as my fear seemed to just melt away. I was still a little wary, but not so much to keep me from going with them.

“Fluttershy, could you go ask Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash to bring the Crusaders to the Welcome Center?” Twilight asked her soft-spoken friend.

“Alright.” And just like that, Fluttershy was gone.

The two of us started towards town, barely visible through the trees.

With a sidelong glance, Twilight began, “We're going somewhere that will help better answer any questions you have, but first, you're going to apologize to those foals you scared.”

I nodded, shamefully. I was actually glad that she was arranging that. I felt bad that I scared someone, and it would make it that much easier. However, I was curious as to what this 'Welcome Center' was.

We didn't speak anymore until we entered the town proper. When we did, Twilight pretty much played tour guide, pointing out important locations, likely to give Fluttershy time to gather the others. She pointed out Town Hall, the marketplace, the library, the post office, and several other essential places before we arrived at a somewhat large brick building labeled as the 'Ponyville Acclimation and Welcome Center'.

We walked in and immediately, it reminded me of a psychiatrist's office, with motivational posters and pamphlets lining the wall.

“We'll wait here for the others,” Twilight informed.

The posters were mostly just your generic 'You are not alone' and 'we care' posters, so I went to take a look at the pamphlets, and what I saw was quite shocking.

'Hooves for Hands: Adapting to Life as a Quadruped' with a picture of a smiling mare waving a flag in her hoof.

'Your New Diet' had a picture of grass and hay on a plate.

'Don't Fear your Fur' had a picture of a pony throwing a trench coat over her shoulder.

Slowly, it dawned on me. This place, these pamphlets, how Twilight figured out what I was. What she said...

“I mean, it's not the first time I've heard of someone just having the urge to hug a pony, but usually they're...”


The door swing open quickly and in walked four mares and three fillies. The first was Fluttershy, who came in and stood between me and the door.

Next was Applejack, if her orange coat, blonde mane, and trademark stetson were anything to go by. She was, for lack of a better word, scary. She was built like a bull, with thick legs and barrel, but it was natural muscle built from years of hard labor not weight lifting. Then there was the scars on her face and side. This mare looked like she could break me in half and not even know I was there.

Behind her came who could only have been Rainbow Dash. Like Sweetie Belle, the colors in her mane shifted gradually between colors. Like Fluttershy, her wings were much larger than the show depicted, and upon seeing me, they flared out a little, along with her bird-like tail feathers.

Then came who I assumed was Rarity. Like Twilight, she had the slightly curving horn, cloven hooves, and lion-like tail of the mythical unicorn. Like the show, her mane was styled in very elegant curls.

The fillies were the last to come in, and immediately upon seeing me, hid behind their respective sisters/roll model.

“What the hay is that thing doin' here, Twi?!” Applejack seethed. “Didn't that thing try to attack Applebloom and her friends?”

“Not exactly,” Twilight informed and turned to me. “Go on, tell them.”

I took a step forward, hesitating as both Applejack and Rainbow Dash tensed. I swallowed thickly and said timidly, bowing my head, “Ah-Ah'm sorry Ah scared y’all. Ah wasn't trying to hurt you. Ah just... Thought Ah was dreaming, and when Ah saw you, Ah thought you were just so adorable that Ah wanted to hug you.”

Of course, as soon as I started to speak, the newcomers' aggression became shock.

The first to recover was Rarity. “Ah, you're human. No wonder we're meeting here.”

“That's right, Miss Rarity,” I replied.

“Oh, I see Twilight already told you about us,” the fashionista remarked.

“No, I didn't. How did you know her name?”

“Oh, great,” Rainbow spoke up. “Don't tell me, you're one of those 'bronies'.”

“Uh...” I replied oh, so wittily.

“Oh, man,” Scootaloo piped up. “He's going to try to adopt me, isn't he?”

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