• Published 27th Aug 2019
  • 1,837 Views, 178 Comments

Chaotic Harmony: Do Over - shirotora



A human finds himself in Equestria where other humans - turned into one of the various native races - have been living for hundreds of years.

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Chapter 9: Dinner and a Show

The next morning I woke to the smell of breakfast.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Rainbow Dash greeted from the stove as I walked in the kitchen.

“You’re up early,” I stated.

“Well, yeah,” she scoffed as it were obvious. “I’m Ponyville’s weather manager. I don’t have the luxury of sleeping late.

“Though, after last night, I’m probably going to need an extra nap or two. Kinda surprised. Most Terrans are kinda weird about sex.”

I shrugged. “Ah’ve always been opened minded. Besides, mah first few sexual experiences were with a girl who was just a friend.”

“Well, lucky me. Eat up,” she said, placing one of the plates in front of me.

I was mildly surprised by the contents of my plate. “You cooked me sausage?”

“Yeah, I used to date a griffin and cooked it for him every now and then, so it doesn’t bother me,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“Ah, yes. Applejack mentioned Gil, but only said it went badly.”

Rainbow scoffed at that. “Yeah, 'badly' is one way to put it.” She angrily stuffed a bit of pancake in her mouth, not even bothering to swallow before continuing. “I dated him back in school, when that whole cold war with Griffany was still going on, 'til the fuzz showed up sayin' he was a spy.” She finally swallowed. “I was so head over hooves for him, when he told me he was being 'wrongfully accused', I helped him get away.”

I stuffed my own face to keep myself from growling. I could already see where this was going.

“When we got to the border, I was tackled by an EIA agent, and instead of helping me, he kept flying on past the border.

“They told me that he really was a spy, working for the GGB. I was held as a traitor and interrogated for two weeks. It was the worst two week of my life. And to make it worse, they even showed me the files they stole from GGB headquarters that told them all about him so I couldn't even tell myself it was all to help an innocent griffin get away.”

Rainbow sighed, taking a drink of her orange juice. “After that, me and my family couldn't go anywhere in Cloudsdale without people whispering about the 'traitor'. We eventually had to move to Shin Nihon, where mom's from.”

“Shin Nihon? 'New Japan'?” I asked. My Japanese was a little rusty, but that much was easy.

“Oh, you speak Japanese?”

“Not very well, but enough,” I chuckled, taking a sip of my milk. “Ah was stationed in Yokosuka when Ah was in the Navy. So you're part Japanese? That explains a few things.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, “Yeah, whatever.”

“So,” I said. “What happened next?”

“Huh? Oh! Well, we lived in Shin Nihon for a while, until I turned eighteen. I found out Fluttershy and Flitter, another old friend, lived here and decided to move here, too.”

“Applejack said Gil came back,” I mentioned. “Ah'm kinda curious, if you don't mind.”

Rainbow sighed as she stood up, taking up her dish and heading to the sink. “Yeah. He came back, telling me that he was forced to work for the GGB. He said they threatened to kill his family if he didn't do it, and like a stupid, lovestruck filly, I believed him.

“You can probably guess, he was lying. Apparently, he killed a couple ponies while he was here, which is against some kinda international thing – you'll have to ask Twi about that – and was arrested for it as soon as he got back. They were about to send him back here to stand trial when he escaped.

“He only wanted to use me to get through the country to Zebrica. When I learned the truth, he threatened to kill Pinkie.”

“What happened?”

Surprisingly, Rainbow laughed. “He didn't know Pinkie.”

Sudden thoughts of the physics butcher driving the poor griffin mad to the point of ripping out his feathers filled my head and I couldn't help but laugh, too.

“Oh, god. Ah almost pity the guy.”

“Yeah, you don't want to get on Pinkie's bad side, but if you actually manage to do that you probably deserve whatever you get,” Rainbow said as she began stretching her wings.

“Anyway, I gotta get to work,” she said. “Thanks again for last night, you were pretty good, for a noob. Maybe we can do it again, sometime.”

“That sounds like fun,” I replied, feeling my cheeks warm.

And with that, she trotted out the door and took to the sky.

Man, I envy pegasi, I thought as I watched her speed away.

I always wanted the ability to fly. Maybe there was some way I could. I'd have to ask Twilight if there's any kind of magic I could use to fly, even if only temporarily.

Or maybe I could ask Jynx. Her sister is a pegasus, after all, and it would make sense that she would want to fly with her and maybe looked into it.

Before I could do anything, though, I had to get ready for work, myself.


Work had been doing well, the past couple weeks. At first, a few of the regulars stopped coming, saying they didn't trust a carnivore to make their food. Still, Souffle stood by his decision to hire me, and soon enough some ponies started coming just for the novelty of eating vegetarian food made by a carnivore (even though I was still an omnivore, but whatever). After they started becoming regulars, themselves, some of the old regulars started to come back. Now, it's actually a little bit more popular.

However, it was a little different immediately after my fight with the timberwolves. With my forearm in a cast, I couldn't really cook, so I was waiting tables, while Souffle cooked.

It was around the end of the lunch rush, one day, when one of those regulars came by, but this time she brought company. As soon as they arrived, they spotted me and waved.

“Hello, darling,” Rarity greeted as I approached. “So, was it a fling or a thing?”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. Of course she would open with that. “A fling.”

Jynx put on a playful smirk. “What a shame. You two would make a cute couple.”

Her smirk turned into a slight frown as her eyes landed on my cast. “Should you even be working today?”

I smiled in return. “Thank you, kindly, for your concern, Miss Charm, but Ah can manage.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I'm not old enough to be called 'Miss', just yet, bub.”

I chuckled. “Ah know, but Ah’m working, and it's only professional.”

“He does have a point, Jynx,” Rarity said, siding with me.

“What ever happened to 'the customer is always right'?” Jynx countered.

I chuckled again, “Alright, for you Ah’ll make an exception. Anyway, what can Ah do you for?”

“What's good?” Jynx asked.

“The daffodil glazed potato steak and seasoned tomatoes are absolutely divine,” Rarity recommended.

“That does sound good,” Jynx's brow raised when she saw the price, though. “Oh, no. That's a little too much.”

“Nonsense, I just received payment for a commission. I have plenty of bits,” Rarity insisted.

“I suppose... I guess I’ll try it” Jynx relented, and I wrote it down.

“And I shall get the fettuccine with alfredo sauce and a side of Minoan hay,” Rarity ordered her own food.

“And to drink?”

“Two lemonades with cherry.”

“Alright, Ah'll go place the order and be right back with your drinks.”

I quickly delivered the order to Souffle in the kitchen, filled the drinks, added a splash of cherry juice, tossed a couple stemless cherries in and was back to the table in a jiffy.

“Thank you, darling.”

“Thanks.”

With no other customers at the moment, Rarity offered me a seat. While on Earth, sitting and chatting with friends while on the job would most likely get you in trouble, but Equestria – or maybe just Ponyville – was much more lax with things like that. As long as you get up and get to work as soon as someone else shows up, it was accepted.

“So,” Jynx began. “When you aren't rescuing damsels in distress, you're waiting tables? Not what I expected from you, to be honest.”

“Actually, Ah normally cook, but Ah broke my arm saving one of those damsels,” I said, cheekily.

Jynx laughed, “Well, be glad it was an arm, not a hind leg. It's a lot harder to walk.”

“So, Shiro,” Rarity asked. “When are you going to come into the boutique and let me make something better than that dull belt.”

“Hey, you made this 'dull belt',” I reminded.

“Which is why it's only dull, not ugly,” Rarity countered. “How about you come by the boutique after your shift and browse my selection of casual attire?”

I raised a brow. “You sell 'casual attire'?”

“Of course,” she stated. “You don't think I can make a living on formal commissions alone, do you? I'm not quite that popular, yet, and clothes aren’t as important here as on Earth.”

“Alright, Ah have somethin’ to do after Ah get off, but Ah’ll drop by as soon as Ah’m finished with that,” I said.

“Maybe I’ll join you,” Jynx said. “I could use a couple nice blouses and maybe a bag.”

“Perhaps something for the classroom?” Rarity asked. “A ‘sexy-but-professional-teacher’ look?”

“Sounds good.”

That reminded me. “So, Jynx, Ah’ve been meanin’ to ask; what exactly do you do at the University?”

Jynx grinned proudly. “Well, mostly, I look for new applications for preexisting magic, but my talent is in deciphering and unlocking the mysteries of ancient, forgotten magic. Right now, most of my work involves a little of both. I'm one of the leading researchers in the field of crystal magic.”

That got my attention. “Crystal magic?” I wondered if it’s something I can learn.

“A kind of magic discovered by the crystal ponies,” Jynx elaborated. “It uses crystals and gems to channel latent natural magic in the environment into spells, including a form unique to it; Hard-mana. It’s a magic that compresses pure mana into a form that emulates matter. It's really cool.”

“Ah bet. Can you demonstrate, by chance?”

“You have a gem on you, Rarity?” Jynx asked.

“Obviously,” Rarity replied, pulling an emerald out of her saddlebag with her magic.

Souffle decided that was as good a time as any to bring out our food. “Oh, what good timing,” he said as he placed the mares' orders in front of them, and placed a couple slices of mushroom and olive pizza in front of me. “Iz zis one of your... demoztrations?”

Jynx grinned as she took the gem in hoof. “This is the most basic use of crystal magic, through incantation.

“Shii kul ratuul, shii kul ratuul, shii kul ratuul.” As she chanted, the emerald began to glow. A green light, the same hue as the gem, extended from the stone, splitting into three smaller prongs at the end.

With a smirk, she dug the ethereal fork into her potato steak and brought a piece to her mouth. As she chewed, the magic fork faded, leaving just the emerald, unchanged.

“That would make washin’ dishes so much easier,” I uttered.


A knock at my door brought me out of my studies. I quickly got up and made my way to the door, stepping around the pre-made summoning circle. I opened the door to be met by the misaligned, but pretty eyes of every brony's favorite mailmare.

“Hey, Derpy,” I greeted.

Yes, her name actually is Derpy. Derpy Muffin used to just be Muffin, but she started going by Derpy because some bullies started calling her that. Needless to say, they didn’t find it funny anymore and moved on to bully someone else. She kept the name because, though she’s actually very, very smart, she has plenty of ‘derpy moments’ but is good natured enough to at least laugh them off.

“Hi, Shiro,” she replied. “You said you have a package for me?”

“Yeah, hold on. We need a witness, first.” I walked up to the circle on the floor and placed my paws beside it, channeling energy into it. “Bakura, spirit smith, come forth.”

In a flash of light, the otherworldly ape took form.

“Hey, Bakura. Ah got your tomes ready,” I said. “Ah figured you'd want to verify.”

“Bakkie!” Derpy cheered from the door.

“Muffin, how have you been? I trust my wares were up to your standards.”

“It was pretty good, but the balance was about three centimeters too forward,” replied the sweet, harmless Derpy.

“Huh?” was my wonderfully articulate inquiry.

“Oh, I have a contract with Bakkie,” Derpy informed me. “It beats having to carry my spear on long trips out of town.”

“You got a spear? Wait, who’d you hear about Bakura from? It wasn’t me.”

“I'm a mail pony. I have to fly all over Equestria by myself,” she answered with a grin. “Something tries to eat me at least once a month. And a friend in the Guard told me about him.”

“Yes, and her muffins are quite the wanted commodity in the Netherworld,” Bakura added. “They are fantastic bartering chips for trade... when I don't eat them myself.”

“Your payment is in muffins?” I said with a laugh.

“If you've ever tried them, you would understand,” Bakura said. “Anyway, you have my tomes?”

“Oh, yeah, right here.” I held the three tomes out to him.

After flicking through them, he handed them back. “Alright. To where are they being sent?”

“One to the Canterlot Public Archives, one to the Manehattan Arcane Library, and one to the Fillydelphia Institute of Ethereal Sciences.”

“Quite the prestigious locations, thank you.”

“Hey, a deal's a deal. Besides, it was Jynx that got them to accept them,” I said as I packed them into three padded envelopes and handed them to the mailmare. “Here you go, Derpy.”

“Great,” she said, slipping them into her saddlebag. “They should be delivered by the end of the week. I gotta get back to the office, so I'll see you later. Bye Shiro, bye Bakkie!”

With that, Derpy took off, climbed a good distance above town and shot off like a rocket. I whistled, impressed by her speed. She had to be nearly as fast as Rainbow Dash. She just couldn’t really turn or maneuver at that speed the way Dashie could.

I turned back to the demon ape and grinned. “So Bakkie...”

“Only Muffin, and Pinkie are allowed to call me that,” he growled.

I chuckled, “Fine, fine... wait, Pinkie? You got a contract with Pinkie?”

“No she...” he hesitated, a slight blush forming. “She only summoned me to ask if I wanted to be friends. She's throwing me a party Tuesday.”

I laughed.

What else could I have done. That was just so... Pinkie... to summon a demon just to be friends.

“Do not laugh at me!” Bakura yelled, angrily

“Ah'm not,” I defended. “Ah'm laughin’ because Ah should have figured she would do that. She's just that good of a pony. You should be happy.”

“She... treats me as if I were of this world, not just a business partner,” he said, sounding baffled. “This is strange to me. Concepts such as friendship are foreign in the Void. I've never had a friend before.”

I gave him the most reassuring smile I could. “Well, you're missin’ out. Besides, Ah thought we were friends.”

“We are business partners,” he declared, as if it were plain as day.

“So? Why can't we be both?” I asked.

“I...” Bakura began, but froze. He looked as if he were searching for a reply. “I do not know.”

“Great! Then we're friends!” I cheered, giving him a slap on the back. “Anyway, about that 'something special'...”

Bakura gave me a deadpanned stare. “I may be new to friendship, but even I know that is contrary to the concept.”

“Yeah, but we're business partners, too, and it's in our contract,” I said giving him a shit-eating grin.

He rolled his eyes. “Very well. I shall create something bound only to you that no other can summon. What is it you wish?”

I stopped and thought for a moment. “Oh, wow. Ah didn't think Ah’d get to choose. Hmm...”

“If you wish, you can think on it and summon me when you decide. I have many arms to take to the fire.”

Me eyes widened as an idea hit me.

“Hey, Bakura... Ah know what Ah would like, if you think you can make it.”

His eyes narrowed at me. “I can make anything.”

My grin woulda made the Joker jealous.

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