• Published 27th Aug 2019
  • 1,552 Views, 148 Comments

Chaotic Harmony: Do Over - shirotora

A human finds himself in Equestria where other humans - turned into one of the various native races - have been living for hundreds of years.

  • ...

Chapter 4: Magic Milk

Fun fact; the first week after moving to a parallel dimension is excruciatingly, mind-numbingly dull. Seriously, after that first party, it was nothing but paperwork and appointments.

The only interesting bits were my 'cultural acclimation' classes, which was really just a 'how to not put your foot in your mouth' class. It was mostly just to teach Terrans what is and isn't taboo or socially appropriate here. Some of it was no surprise, like no touching a pegasus' wings or unicorn's horn if you don't know them, though neither are considered 'groping' like many in the fandom believe.

Others, like nuzzling being akin to kissing, touching a pony's hooves (other than a hoofshake) was rude, or how touching a cutie mark is pretty much groping, were not surprising but not really something I would have guessed.

Other things were completely unexpected, like the term 'hoofing it' to describe walking somewhere being derogatory. Apparently that dates back to the pre-unification era where earth ponies were called 'hoofers', being the only race that had to rely almost solely on their hooves.

Then there was the relationship lessons. I kid you not, the rules for relationships are so freaking complicated, it makes D&D (3.5) look like Candyland. There are so many levels and types of friendship, it's just crazy. Thankfully, like relationships on Earth, these rules are more like commonly accepted guidelines than actual set-in-stone rules, but still.

Did you know one can have multiple girl/boyfriends, but only one spouse? This is because ponies believe that love should always be embraced, no matter if you already have it with someone else or not.

Ponies are weird. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, fast forward past the bureaucracy and red tape.

While many a fan fic depict Pinkie throwing big parties for every occasion, this really isn't true. Sometimes she just delivers a 'party package' full of a few occasion-appropriate things for one to celebrate a lesser event with friends.

The party package I received simply consisted of champagne and a few glasses for celebrating my citizenship with the few ponies I could really call friends. At the time, that consisted of Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack, though the later was really more of close a acquaintance that Rainbow convinced to come.

Yeah, I only had two real friends, but considering I was only there a week, that's not too shabby.

Anyway, the 'party' really wasn't much, just a toast and dinner, but it wasn't really the party that was important here. No, it was happened at the party that was of particular note.

We were listening to Applejack tell this hilarious story about her cart breaking.

“-and the ass end falls, tiltin' the whole thing back with me still hitched to it. Ah'm sittin' there, fumblin' with the straps, but it got me danglin' upside down and Ah just can't get it. Ah was there 'til nearly sundown before somepony came wanderin' by and helped me.”

“And that's one thing Earth has on this place,” I said with a chuckle. “Earth horses are like... what, five times a pony's size. Ah doubt that would have happened. Plus, they wouldn’t have been without people.”

AJ laughed, “Ah'm sure it woulda been helpful to have someone with fingers around.”

“Oh, is Big Mac not delivering?” Rainbow Dash teased.

I had been laughing and talking so much, my throat was starting to get parched. Before I got up, though, my desire was preempted.

“Oh, thanks,” I said as I accepted an offered glass of milk.

After taking a drink, I noticed everyone went rather quiet. I looked up to see everyone staring at me with confused expressions.

“What?” I asked. “Somethin’ on mah face?”

“Where did that just come from?” Applejack asked, pointing to my milk.

“Uh, Ah got it from...” I drew a blank. “It was...” My eyes widened and a smile spread across my face as it dawned on me. “Ah... Ah think Ah used magic! Holy crap, Ah just thought ‘bout how thirsty Ah was, and it just popped up! Ah did it!”

“Well, Ah'll be,” Applejack said. “Congratulations, Shiro.”

“Yeah, now you just have to figure out how you did it,” Rainbow cheered, seemingly as excited as I was. “Then we can totally use that to go pranking!”

“Ah gotta show Twilight!” I cheered as I ran out the door.

Looking back, I probably looked like a doofus, running upright through the streets of Ponyville, with a half full glass of milk held in front of me as if it was the holy grail. At the time, though, I couldn't care in the slightest. After all, I had just used magic.

I barged through the library door, yelling, “Twilight! Come quick!”

In a flash of light, the librarian/superhero was there. “What's wrong? Are we being invaded by vine monkeys? Is the world ending? Did another ancient evil escape?”

“Better!” I cheered and held the glass out to Twilight.


“Ah did magic!”

It took Twilight about half a second to realize what I was saying and looked at the miracle cup in awe.


“Ah know!”

“We have to examine it,” Twilight suggested.

“Uh...” came the voice of the resident dragon as he walked into the room.

I turned to him and held out my first work of magic. “Isn't it beautiful?”

“I'm... gonna be in my room,” Spike said warily as he backed out of the room.

As he beat a hasty retreat, we turned our attention back to the magical glass.

“What does the milk taste like?” Twilight asked.

“Like regular milk.”

“Could it be regular milk?”

“Don't know, Ah could have summoned it from elsewhere, or maybe created a facsimile of milk.”

And we went on like that for quite some time. I'll be honest, telling it just makes it boring, so long story short, we deduced that the milk was just a full illusion. What is a full illusion, you ask? Simply put, where your typical illusion only affects sight and/or sound, a full illusion affects every sense. You can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it, and taste it. When you grab it, it feels like you're actually holding something. If you eat it, it tastes and feels like food.

What this means to me, however, is that I can make all the junk food I wanted without all the health issues that come with them. Of course, that was so long as I learned how to do it again.

As momentous as my first use of magic was, though, that wasn't even the most important thing to happen. No, that happened after, when Twilight mentioned something that peaked my interest.

“I'm sure you'll figure it out,” Twilight assured me as I stare forlornly at the spot my magic cup had occupied before vanishing. “In the meantime, seeing as you seem to have an interest in magic, why don't you look into a field of arcanum?”

I raised an eyebrow as I glanced at Twilight. “Arcanum?”

“Academic magic; magic any being can use with study and practice.”

Milk forgotten, Twilight had my undivided attention at that. “How’s that work?”

“Well, it depends on the school,” Twilight activated Super Egghead Lecture Mode (SELM™). “Some, like Divination and Evocation, are good for the 'casual spell caster', while more advanced forms like High Magic are so complicated, they're really only practical for those looking to make it a career. Perhaps you would like something more 'middle of the road', so to say.”

Twilight trotted over to one of the bookshelves along the right wall, me close behind.

“Enchantment is always a good one to study up on, but it can get incredibly expensive when delving deeply.” A book floated its way to a table. “Alchemy is also a good one, and easy to get started, though has a similar problem as Enchantment.” another book joined the pile. “Demonology can be useful, so long as you know what you're looking for.”

“Wait, wait, wait... Demonology?” I asked, quite surprised by that one. “Like, summonin’ and banishin’ evil spirits?”

“Oh, no,” Twilight said with a giggle. “I forget, sometimes, that humans think of 'demons' as something different. Here, the word 'demon' refers to the physical manifestations of spiritual beings, specifically, those that dwell in the Void, the space between universes.”

“Oh...” I said, letting the information soak in. “So... what all can one do with Demonology that makes it so useful?”

Twilight's SELM reengaged. “Well, Demonology is usually used to summon beings and objects. Though the term 'summon' isn't entirely accurate, it's often used to explain things to the common pony. Anyway, these 'summons' can be anything from tools to beasts of burden to sapient beings. It can be incredibly useful, but it can also be tedious to get started and you certainly want to be careful. I'll let you read about that, though, seeing as it's not my strongest field.

“So, is there anything else you're wanting to get while we're getting you set up?”

“Uh...” I pondered for a moment. “Somethin’ more entertainin’. You guys have sci-fi?”

“Of course,” Twilight stated, directing me to the fiction section.

By the way, they have Star Wars novels.

Books about how to use real magic, and Star Wars.


It's pretty easy to see why more people don't get into Demonology. Just to start out, you need to make deals and contracts with otherworldly beings. One can summon without one, but you'll be paying each time. The book had a list in the back with various spirits that were known for helping out beginners. One was even a Demonology guide, who helps noobs learn the ropes and whose only price was to make a contract with another spirit.

I decided I would have to think about what I was looking for out of Demonology before continuing with that, so I picked up the book on Enchantment.

Making the Mundane Magical; Enchantment for Beginners.

It sounded promising.

I spent the next few hours reading about the basics of enchantment and what I would need, material wise. It wasn't too pricey for the basics, just a special kind of chalk and a couple cheap gems. I picked out one of the simple enchantments to try later, one that gives a plate the ability to keep your food warm without itself being hot.

I glanced through the alchemy book, as well, marking what I would need to get started. Twilight said she had an old travel cauldron she would lend me, as soon as she could find it. That left a mortar and pestle, a sharp knife, steeping bags, and a few other odds and ends. Alchemy was definitely the more expensive to get started of the three.

After listing everything I would need to get started with those, I went back to the demonology book. I figured I may as well try my first summoning. Laying it open on the floor, I took the salt I snagged from Twilight's kitchen and began recreating the magic circle depicted in the book on the floor.

When that was done, I began to recite; “Guide of mortals to the spirit realm, Ah seek your wisdom. Aid me, and help me understand your world. Ah call upon you, Innor, Patron of Demonology.

The salt burst into green flames, but it quickly shifted to red. The book said the flames should be green, though. Something was not as it should have been, and I will admit to being a little scared.

Instead of the wispy four legged owl that was, according to the book, Innor, the spirit that first introduced demonology to ponies, a short, bulky gorilla looking being occupied the circle.

Greetings, mortal,” the being said, his voice having a strange, rumbling, ethereal sound to it. “My name is Bakura, Spirit Smith.

“Ah summoned Innor, not you,” I said.

Well, you failed,” said the asshole, laughing merrily.

“Yeah, yeah. This was mah first summonin’, so don't blame me,” I defended.

Bakura, still chuckling, looked at me, examining me in a slightly uncomfortable manner. “Unless I am mistaken, you are a human in the form of a servant of evil.

“Yeah, great, can you just send Innor here? Ah kinda want to talk with him,” I demanded, getting rather impatient.

He regarded me for a moment, as if considering something. “Actually, I have a proposition for you. As you have never performed a summoning, I have never been summoned. How would you like to make a contract with me?

I was rather surprised by that. I mean, it was usually the mortal that initiated the dealings, not the spirit. Regardless, I decided I might as well hear him out. “What kinda contract?”

I will offer you my wares in exchange for... let's call it 'advertising'.

I raised a suspicious eyebrow. “You want 'advertisin’'? How do you mean?”

Simple, just tell others of me,” Bakura stated. “Spirits rely on mortals to spread word of their services to others, but contacting one's first mortal can be... difficult. I have been trying for decades to find one without success. However, your mistake can be mutually beneficial. You obtain access to my master crafts, and I gain possible clientele.

“That's all? Ah just have to tell others ‘bout you?” In all honesty, if what he said was true, and according to the book it was, I could see the logic behind his deal. I get his product in exchange for advertising. It's a solid business tactic that was often employed back on Earth. “Okay, let's outline the deal.”

Bakura nodded and said in a business like tone, “I, Bakura, Spirit Smith, offer all tools, weapons, armors, and devices crafted by my hand to you, in exchange for you, Shirotora, spreading the knowledge of my summoning to all who ask.

“Ah, Shirotora, offer in exchange to share all information on your summonin’ to any that ask it of me, and to offer this information to any Ah believe may benefit from your services. In return, Ah am allowed access to your tools, arms, armor, and devices to use as Ah see fit.”

I accept.” He extended his hand.

“Ah accept.” I grasped his hand in my paw, sealing my first demon contract.

Bakura smiled. “I thank you. Now, if you shall excuse me, I shall return to my forge. With luck, I shall be summoned again, soon. In the meantime, I leave you with this...” He raised his hand, creating a swirling vortex in which a thin bound book appeared. “This is my tome. It contains my summoning ritual, as well as a brief biography and list of offered goods. If you make three copies and send them to public arcane libraries in three different cities, I shall craft something special for you, and you alone.

“Ah'll see what Ah can do.”

Fare well.

“Yeah, take it easy.”

Then the flames flared and he was gone.

“That was not how Ah imagined that would go.”

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