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Twilight and her friends are thrilled to go to Grand Galloping Gala, but when a zebra assassin makes an attempt on Princess Celestia's life, they are thrust into an adventure that will leave them unable to see their world in the same light ever again. Meanwhile, Twilight is beset by an old and terrible fear that she thought she had left behind in Canterlot.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This looks...promising.
Woah, Never thought I see Apple Bloom being that wise in her years.
Applejack must be a bit proud of her sister being understanding like that.
Nice way of catching up with those that means the most to the Mane 6.
WHY THE FUCK HAS THIS NOT BEEN SEEN BY MORE PEOPLE.
It's flat out amazing, all grammatically correct and it kept me wondering all that time. I was a little disappointed by the battle and further lack of more violence but that's because of my own bloodlust, no fault by you.
Has this been on EQD? Or Fanfiction.net? Because for this to have so little views is frankly astonishing to me. Much worse and less thought out stories have garnered fame.
Anyway, amazing work. I'm about to go read the sequel!
-James
717542
Thanks for the feedback!
My fanfiction.net account is linked on my page here, and that version is probably better thanks to the italics. EqD prereaders seemed to think the writing was up to scratch, but they said they autoreject any stories containing tyrant celestia, Solar Empire/Lunar republic, or cutie mark coercion (this has all three).
717739
So basically they refuse any story that doesn't follow their tastes, what twats.
706883 I agree.
definitely an amazing piece of art here
dunno why it has so few watches but i fave it.
somewhere in you story is a "be" missing but that´s no problem XD awesome writing, good and exciting plot, and a nice ending
9.5/10 points i would say(no 10 because if have read a story, it had touched me to no end, and that´s the only 10 atm in my list^^)
2037595
Thanks! If you're interested, I'm working on a sort-of-sequel to that fic, but I'm mostly just posting new chapters on my ff.net account: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8604469/1/Friendship-is-Forever-Redux
It's more of a re-imagining than a sequel, but a very similar story thematically.
Here's a tip for dialogue flow, imagine the conversation and try to put friends or yourself in place of the characters with like personalities. It was kinda cheesy at points
Also following a near death experience I don't think a sane person would say anyways
Fantastic Story. I have no idea why it has so few views, it's really a shame
Holy crap this is awesome.
Hmm. I was interested at first, but now....
Don't get me wrong, the premise is very interesting. It's the particular language you use that irks me. Clichéd in more than a few spots, unnecessary in others, more telling than showing, etc. Might I suggest an content editor? Perhaps a structural one as well.