- Member Since 26th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen March 27th
P0nies
Just here to read, and write, some FanFic. I really enjoy this stuff, so if you ever need an editor I can look it over for you, just hit me up!
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704488 Actually surprised that this was actually like-able
Thats pretty deep
and sightly depressing
I can't hold all these feels man
I don't get it.
That was beautiful
Gets kinda confusing at the end. I thought she was supposed to be dead?
Story was good.
Funny thing is, I was thinking about a similar concept in some sort of mental-debate I was having. Everything you do becomes a "memory", so who's to say the present isn't already the past?
Anyway, too deep. Can't give half-decent review. :D
P0nies..... This was truly touching. Liked, faved, and advertised on EFR.
The "seven minutes" are higly dependant on cause of death and definition of dead. For example, if you define "dead" as without brain activity then by definition you don't have brain activity for seven minutes afterwards
One question: At the end, did she revive or was it just a construct of her desperate mind, denying the fact that her death was final?
Please say she really revived....
Huh. Makes you think a bit. I don't usually like vague endings, but this one works alright.
Good stuff man. I read something about how we could be dead right now an re-living life in a dream-state during these seven minutes. But it would be a lot like a dream, and in dreams time is distorted. Reminded me of it; really good story.
That was very heartwarming, is a sad sort of way. Good story.
(also, at the very beginning -
'Guys! She's not breathing...' Rainbow dash yelled.
Dash should be capitalized)
I would watch the first seven minutes of Source Code, die, then go back and watch the next seven minutes even though I had already watched Source Code 3 times.
I don't care about the deja vu, because after reading this description this is exactly what I've already felt. It would just be a familiar feeling, just like what this story appears to be. However, this story doesn't give me a good familiar feel. It just gives me a sense of repetition that has already been done in a perfect way.
In summary: this story reminds me of Source Code, but I refuse to read it because Source Code was a perfect movie.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShRoGyro6MpkZj6-VqaSwDqVo2C_KoLCx8d76-29kdVxgnGVoWIFL61y4g8g
The train is my logic.
Postmortem - Slayer
Happy National Day of Slayer! FUCKIN' SLAYER!
Nicely done. I really like writing that digs a little deeper with it's themes and this does a good job. Reading this also gave me a great idea for the fic I'm writing right now so I really appreciate that. However, I probably would have ended the fic with "A corner of the room slightly flickered, the reality barely stable" and leave out the ending philosophy. Your readers will fill in the meaning themselves. Make room for them to think a little deeper.
Other than that this is definitely a step above the average writing piece. Good job.
Seven minutes... Well, time to get crackin' folks! Life isn't gonna last too much longer!
Very nice story all around. It's heart warming, sad, and dark enough where it counts.
Holy crap. This touched my heart.
Everypony try reading this again while listening to: http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=5wCD-S0XKm8
kinda short
So is she still dead because of the "flicker" in the corner of the room? Regardless, I really liked this story. Kudos
706658 I'm going to single your comment out and say really mean things about it as an example, so brace yourself.
[rant]
An author writes a story to entertain and appease his/her audience, this is a universal fact no matter how much the author denies it. Now this is something mostly unrelated, but needed to drive my point.
To make this easy to understand and digest, I'll use a (terrible) metaphor.
Imagine you just spent the last few days creating a beautiful going away card for your crush, depicting through many sly notions that you've loved him/her for years without actually saying it out right while also wishing them the best of luck wherever they may go. As they're boarding the train to leave, you give them the card, causing them to pause and read through it on the platform. This is it, your one last chance to confess your love for them. Maybe you'll even get a small kiss for your efforts. After finishing it once, they give you a blank look, say 'I don't get it.', and throw it at your feet before turning around and leaving for good without another word.
I don't have to ask how you would feel in this situation, but for the sake of my point, I'll say you'd feel pretty bad and down about this.
Back to the story, I know most of that did not apply, but that is essentially what it feels like to be an author and hear that.
Its almost as bad as saying 'Its flawless.' (If that went over your head, what I'm saying is that if you call a story 'flawless' or 'perfect' or something like that, you're suggesting unintentionally that the story, no matter how much time and effort are spent, cannot get any better. This is insulting because that is what any 'artist' sees in their work of art, flaws.)
Down to the main point, if you're going to say something short and sweet in the comments, at least try to make it at the very least a sentence long explaining why you liked/hated it or why you did not understand it. Use examples if you must, or metaphors like I did up there ^^^.
TL;DR: DON'T BE A MASSIVE FAGGOT, PEOPLE WORK HARD ON THIS SHIT
[/rantmode]
Now back to my thoughts on the story.
While it was fairly short, it told a competent enough story without assuming the reader was an idiot. (ex. how the Twi/Pie was revealed without blatantly explaining everything, this is a good thing) Some grammatical errors are present, but not overbearing other than how you persistently (and very incorrectly) use the (') instead of a (") when a character speaks. This may seem like a small thing (liek omg jsut a lil line! Sotp being so butthurts!), but it is very annoying to a seasoned reader of any sort.
In brief, it was a fun look into a concept without being obtuse. Well done, you can count on me being a future reader.
Have a like bro.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cTrQGOGT_g
I was listening to this as I read the story, and it fitted
For some reason [url] wouldnt link
707025
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/oh-my-god-who-the-hell-cares.jpg
This was the best macro I could find
Why don't you take your 600 word rant and type something that somebody would actually appreciate? =
It's not worth it for one four-word statement.
fave'd. very thought provoking, and something i wondered about myself. It's a little unclear whats happening towards the middle with the blank calendar.
Wait.... What if we reset, and become a new person every seven minutes, with the old person's memories?
That was quite interesting! Kept me motivated throughout the whole story!
You get points for TwiPie, and you lose points for lack of development on Twilight accepting her death. I mean, really, she just confessed her love, got the best possible answer, then everything comes crashing and she doesn't cry, doesn't fight, doesn't beg?
I liked this, even if the calls of the reality faltering were kind of forced
707058 I've been watching him do it for months, I finally snapped. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
> The memories of our lifetime reside deep within our minds, hidden away until our final moments in this world. In your final moments of life after death, you have 7 minutes to relive your life. Funny thing it is how the brain has 7 minutes of activity after you supposedly 'die'.
The neurobiologist in me was pissed. The period of activity after death is caused by neurons releasing their potentials as they die - sort of like how rigor mortis causes corpses to be still.
As for what the person perceives, we can extrapolate - seizures are a massive burst of activity in the brain and yet people don't remember those happening.
707025 I didn't intend for my comment to sound like I didn't like the story; I did, it was very well written (I really liked the author's word choice). I'm just confused by the ending: Did Twilight live or die? Was the last part a dream or something? The only reason whether Twi lives or dies is in question is the way she acts; it almost sounds like she doesn't notice.
Yes, I do realize how hard it is to write stories. I have spent the last month and a half dealing with a writer's block and I'm only 80% done with chapter 1. (I don't like it being implied that I'm an idiot, by the way)
706688 Its going to make me sound like an idiot, but what is EFR?
707010 Im asking you, is she dead? But Glad you liked!
706877 Well thanks
706822 I actually forgot about source code.... But it was a good movie.
707025 I might go back and change the ' to " but I feel its less chunky when i use the '.
Thanks for reading guys! I really appreciate it!
707137 Well I'm going to imply that you're an idiot again because you've done this kind of thing not once, not twice, not even three times. I've seen you do it for every story I've seen you comment on so far, that works out to be a 100% ratio of three word reviews that usually can be summed up in even fewer words; the main ones being 'indecisive', 'illiterate' and 'inconsiderate'.
What I'm getting at is, if you're going to say anything at all, make sure it looks like you actually believed in it. For example, what you typed in that response was a great use of wording, concise, to the point and it shows your entire opinion. Was it really that hard?
PS: When you say something like "I don't like it being implied that I'm an idiot, by the way", It makes you look like a (excuse my choice of words here, I wish to get this point to stick for longer than a tenth of a nano second) like an annoying whining bitch, or in most cases a target for trolls (somewhat like I). If someone does or says something you don't agree with, don't yell at them or say you don't like it, because contrary to popular belief, this only makes it worse. Make a well thought out opinion and enforce it with points and examples instead. It works much better, and it usually leads to a better community all around.
707233 EFR stands for Everfree Radio... It is a popular brony music site... You should check it out. Google it
707242 Oh alright. Should've known it was Everfree. But thanks for advertising for me
That's deep makes me think I'm living a lifetime in those 7 minutes, and when I die there I'll go deeper into another 7 minutes...inception!...deathception?
Pinkie pie don't care for the fabric of reality
Was honestly a bit confused about this, not trying to get into a religous war here you all but I always (and still believe due to seriously meeting him) thought that Death came to collect your soul after you died, how did it go from Twi dying to being alive to loving Pinkie Pie? (which I don't mind one bit as Pinkie is awesome, although in my view best pair ever created and will always be is Spike/Twilight) still impressed by the pairing though. But yeah, I thought Death was going to take Twi to the pony afterlife? Mind clearing that up for me or does it truely not matter?
707235 I rarely comment on stories, so I'm not really sure what you're talking about. I also don't see how I appear to be illiterate; Please practice what you preach and provide examples for said instances of illiteracy.
It is you who are being trolled, not I.
707137
It's not about whether you liked it or not, dummkopf. You didn't elaborate why you didn't understand the story, leaving a half-assed comment there.
707410
Gotta love hypocrisy, don't ya?
Just want to point out the typo in the description. It's "choose" not "chose"
In my head:
At the same time.
707355 The way I intended it to be was that by the end of the story, Twilight is still dead, and that pretty much is the afterlife. At the end, I wrote something to the manner of "You never know whether you are ever really dead or alive, so make the most of every moment", so that can make it to where at the end scene she might think she is living, but the hint towards the flickering reality suggests she is dead. Kinda confusing, I know.
706658 I'm going to be honest, I don't see why they are attacking you
708188 ponies be haters is all.
I didn't expect everyone to get this fic.
708279 fair enough.
good story
also, thank you for making me go and listen a7x afterlife again XD
708429 No problem!
absolutely beautiful.
Not bad. Liked and faved for appreciation
that was deep
i liked it