The Conversion Bureau: Last Thoughts

by Riot Pumpkin

Last Thoughts

Luna was an Alicorn. It didn't sound like much, but it meant a lot. She was old. Over nine hundred years in Equestria, and a thousand trapped on the moon. She knew of exactly three others, her sister, her niece, and her sister's student, who could survive a mere two hundred years like she could.

But never had she even thought of anything like this. She and her sister had brought Equestria to Earth in order to help, in order to save people and maybe stop the horror that humans created almost every day. The Barrier, her sister had said, was just a side-effect. Over the following year, however, she slowly became more aware of her sister's mind slipping away. Twisting. Falling. Burning. She knew that nobody would hear a word against her sister, and so she stood silent.

The Conversion Bureaus were supposed to help humans escape the Barrier. They were meant to drink, and survive the apocalypse that her kind had unleashed upon them. But they surprised her. Those silly little humans, so unique and different, oh did they surprise her. Because in the end, only 10% of the world's population converted. The rest... Well, the rest simply held on. They knew it was coming. By that point, the Barrier had already destroyed America. Their race was doomed.

And they just. Didn't. Care. Some carried on, seemingly ignorant. Some carried on, resigned to death. Some turned to their world's religion, preaching of peace and hope in the end of days. Some stood on street corners, screaming that pony-kind were government projects. Some hooked up speakers and simply rocked out endlessly until the Barrier consumed them. Some believed ponies were demons that had to be erased from the Earth. Some believed ponies were the next step. So many different kinds of people, yet none were willing to convert. Surely, if they understood...

But it didn't matter. They went on, as if their world wasn't at the end. Until one day, a group of guards got it in their heads that humans were simply mongrels that did not deserve to choose their fate. Fifty pegasi swooped down upon Tokyo, dropping conversion bombs that caused mass hysteria. Over a hundred conversions were made that day. And it seemed that humanity was akin to a sleeping Ursa Major than anything else. Harmless while asleep. Monstrous when woken.

Weapons, the likes of which she had never seen, were made. Any pony who stepped foot out of Equestria after that day would be shot on sight, regardless of whom they sided with. She vaguely recalled her sister's student stating that humans were nothing but cruel barbarians who enjoyed murder and death. The humans seemed to have adopted that position to fight back.

After that, all but twenty ponies advocated for conquering Earth in the name of Equestria. For the next year, she had flown over the weaponry humanity shot at her and tried to find out why. The few she talked to were rarely helpful. Some simply ran away. Some chose to scream and swear and cry, since they could do nothing to harm an immortal Alicorn. And others simply laughed and killed themselves, screaming that the monsters wouldn't get them.

She needed answers. But nobody seemed to want to give them to her.

In the cold of this night, she knew that only one city remained on Earth. She didn't know it's name, or it's people, and she was going to demand an answer of them. Yes, that would obviously go down well. But she needed to know why they would rather die than survive their doom. She needed to know.

So she began her descent, and barely noticed a human sitting on the edge of a building alone. She needed to speak with him.

And she needed answers.

---

Marco was a lot of things. He was a solider, and a sniper, and a son, and a survivor, and a murderer. He was all of those things, and he wore all those labels with pride, but there was one he held above all the rest. One he held so high, he would rather die than give it up to anybody in the world. He was a Human.

One of the last, his brain pointed out. That was true. After four years, the Barrier was almost done. It had swallowed almost every country in the world, and only this place was still standing. Barely. The conversion bombs dropped eight months ago had ended up causing a riot that set fire to most of the city, and only about two hundred humans still lived. He was one of them.

He had scars. He was twenty one, and he had scars that only hardened veterans of war should have. But then, he was a solider. He hated the ponies for doing this. His little sister had loved this sort of thing. Princesses, and ponies, and fairy-tales that ended with a brave prince and a fairy godmother. Then the ponies had come, and their actions utterly devastated her. He didn't care about a lot of things these days, but he still cared about his little sister. He wanted to make sure nothing hurt her like that again.

That Rarity bitch had learned that the hard way when a chainsaw had ripped her in two.

Somehow, beyond any measure of impossibility, the entire family had survived. His divorced parents... His little sister and older sister... The insane uncle who was apparently former military and made sure the survivors didn't go insane with panic. So many of his old friends that he hadn't seen in years were there as well. It was a miracle. The kind you read about in books.

Quietly, he shivered in the moonlight. Brought his rifle closer. Told himself it was because he was cold, and not the fear of certain oblivion at the hands of the Barrier. It worked a little. Even though his father had told him it was natural to be afraid, he couldn't afford to be. Even with barely a day left in humanity's life, he wouldn't let a single pony through. Not one.

Despite the few things he cared about, it was still gut-wrenching to see old memories go. An hour ago, he'd seen the home he'd lived in for eighteen years vanish into smoke as if it were never there. Two hours ago, the electronics store he'd gotten his first job with had disintegrated into nothing. Three hours ago, the building that held the apartment he'd rented with his own saved up money had disappeared into the ether. All those memories... Were just that, now. Gone on the wind.

He wished there were another way. Once it had become apparent the end of the world was near, he'd prayed for a miracle. From God. Any god. Any of them. Hell, he'd even prayed to Cthulu once. All he wanted, was the miracle that another race might appear and take the ponies away so he could stop. But the miracle never came. The Barrier consumed all. There was no miracle. Not pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, no magical elves, no aliens. Just oblivion.

He laid back on the rooftop, listening to the muffled sound of violins from the wedding downstairs. He should have been down there. But he needed to make sure. Everybody here had made their choice to die a human, and he would make sure that nobody would be turned before that Barrier consumed them all. That was his self-appointed job. Because he refused to let these murderers hurt his family and friends.

And then, out of the corner of his eye, he barely noticed a blue dot flying downwards. Hopefully, it wouldn't be the end.

He hoped.

---

Marco made to grab aim his rifle and shoot. But suddenly, it was on the other side of the rooftop. And the Princess of the Moon was right next to him. "Crap."

"Peace, human." Luna bowed slightly in greeting. "I merely wish to speak."

Marco frowned. "No serum on you?"

"None."

"... What do you want?" He had sworn to keep ponies out. But even with his rifle, even with the bullets made of ground-up unicorn horns, even if he could get a shot in, and most of all, even if she let him, there was little to no chance of actually doing anything more than mildly amusing the Alicorn. "And why?"

"... Equestria is right there. In a mere day, it will swallow your people. Humans as a whole will cease to be."

"Thanks for the reminder."

"So why don't you take the serum? Surely, it would be worth it to survive! Why are you all still here, waiting to die?"

Marco shrugged. "We all have our reasons. I don't know most of theirs. But me? It's because Equestria looks too nice."

"... Too nice."

"Mm. Nice. Safe. Fake. Like something out of a children's fairy tale, or a cartoon for little kids. Maybe it's natural for you. I don't know. But here, it's all... Real. This stone is real. This sky is real. Everything is real. And then I look at the barrier, and it just looks so... Fake."

"If it's any consolation, your world looked like something out of a horror novel to me."

"Huh."

The two sat there for a few moments more. "Surely, if you..." Luna began again.

"You really want us to survive, huh?"

Luna paused. "... Not exactly. While I am not against the choice you've made, I need to know why you've made them. It just seems so... Childish. You don't want to die, but it will happen anyway. It is like a foal throwing a tantrum."

"Eh. Essentially all it is. We'll die tomorrow. More or less. Just a matter of what shape we die in. And at least this way, we get to choose."

"Choose? Not many get to choose their death."

"At my count, the Barrier will kill us all this time tomorrow. But I'm going to spend the rest of tomorrow making up for years of being a jerk to my sisters. Because that way, I'm choosing to spend that time with my family. That way, I'm choosing the quiet exit, the one where death has to come to me."

"I knew I liked you humans. Always trying to defy fate... Death comes to everybody."

"Yup. But we're used to it. Lots of death in the past few centuries. Death is, as an old man once said, the next great adventure."

"I almost wish I could join you. It sounds like it would be most enjoyable."

"Oh yeah... The whole immortal thing. Kinda easy to forget."

The two sat there for a while longer in silence.

"So you will merely wait out your doom?"

"Looks like."

"... I see."

"Don't look so down. Sooner or later, we'll be partying in the great beyond."

"If you wish to..." Luna paused. "If you wish to survive, then..."

"We don't," Marco replied softly. "But thanks for the offer."

Luna nodded as she stood. "Very well. But it is still your choice." She sighed. "I shall be taking all ponies with me back to Canterlot. Feel free to go inside." Marco nodded slowly as he stood and retrieved his rifle. "May I inquire as to your name?"

"Marco. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to attend and a night of sleep to grab. Maybe you haven't heard, but the apocalypse is almost here."

"Is it?" Luna replied jokingly. "My, I never would have guessed." The two shared a quiet chuckle. The Alicorn spread her wings and took off, turning swiftly into a blue dot in the night sky.

A quiet clink rang out. Marco stared at the single vial of serum. It was helpfully labeled If You Change Your Mind. Marco grabbed the vial. He stared at the vile purple concoction for a moment. She hadn't left it to convert him. She'd left it as a last ditch option. The human chuckled slightly and tucked it into his pocket before heading downstairs.

---

Luna returned the next day. Nobody survived the Barrier. She should have known. "Princess Luna!" She glared at the guard approaching with a cold eye. She hated the newfoals. "We found something." A single vial floated in the guard's magical grip. The one she'd given to that strange human Marco. The label was still there, but there were rips through the paper label that spelled out a message.

Wish there was another way.

Luna sighed. Marco hadn't taken the easy way out. He'd waited with his family. It was what she would have done in his position. She turned to look at Canterlot, almost invisible in the distance. Something from last night echoed through her mind. "At least this way, we get to choose." Luna sighed. A truth she'd tried to deny for so long bubbled to the surface.

Her sister had gone mad. The world had gone mad. And she hadn't noticed it until it was far too late. Now, all she had to show for it was a vial of conversion serum and a torn label. Mist bubbled around her. A familiar helmet formed around her head. This time, Moon would strike at Harmony to avenge the lost.

Luna had her answer.

Comments

[Proper Prose]

Looks good. Better than more than a few Conversion Bureau stories I've come across. I also noticed that is marked as incomplete, are you planning to continue this?

[Riot Pumpkin]

6535069 No, I just forgot to change the marking.

[snowblind]

pretty good... no Humanity is scum... pony magicks beat supersonic projectiles... just a nice quaint story that makes enough sense to not be a crack fic or super dramatic. more emotional than anything else really...