The Alicorn in Spite of Himself

by LibraryNexus

Part 1, Ch. 2- Scouting the Land

The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon as a pair of ponies made their way toward the town. There were few ponies out and about at this time of day, which was good enough for Rod, since it gave him some time to talk to Fess.

“But that can’t be right!” he almost shouted. “You should have been able to pick his magical signature.”

What Rod was referring to was the magical signature that all natural-born magic users gave off. Each unicorn had his/her own unique signature that was almost impossible to recreate. It followed the path of their magic, making it easy to trace teleports.

Fess sighed. “Perhaps I should clarify,” he said. “I can pick up his signature, I cannot distinguish it from the background octrinic levels.”

Rod tilted his head. “Run that by me again.”

“The local magic is somehow creating an interference that is messing with my tracking systems.”

Rod thought for a moment. This wasn’t the first time that a world had been discovered with a different magical signature. The first example that came to mind was a small green and blue globe discovered about fifty years ago. It was populated with a bipedal, furless race that at time was starting to venture out to their moon. Upon using magical scans, some of the scientist discovered that it was populated by alien creatures. These aliens, who called themselves ‘huy-mens’ or something like that, possessed and gave off a magical signature of sorts that was distinctive from any of the pony races. Perhaps the case was the same for these bug-like creatures.

“Of course, it is only a theory,” said Rod.

“Of course,” Fess echoed, the robot giving the impression of a patient sigh.

“On a more immediate level, what name should I go by in this culture?”

“Why not Rodney d’Armand VII? This is one of the few cases where your natural name is appropriate.”

Rod shook his head. “Too pretentious. My forebears never did get over their aristocratic aspirations.”

“They were aristocrats, Rod.”

“Yeah, but so was everypony else on the asteroid, Fess. Except for the robots. And they’d been in the family for so long, they had a right to claim some of the honors.”

“It was honor enough to-”

“Later,” Rod cut him off. Fess had a standardized sermon on the noblesse oblige tradition of the Maxima robot, which he would gladly deliver at the drop of a hat. “There’s a small problem of a name, remember?”

“If you insist,” Fess said, disgruntled. “Mercenary soldier again?”

“Gives me an excuse to travel.”

Fess winced. “You could always be a wandering minstrel.”

Rod shook his head. “Minstrels are supposed to be up to date on the news. Might not be a bad idea to pick up a harp though- especially since some of the rulers are mares. A song can get you into places a sword can’t.”

“We go through this every time… Would ‘Gallowglass’ suit you, Rod? It was the Irish term for a mercenary soldier.”

“Gallowglass…” Rod rolled the word over his tongue. “Not bad. That’s got some dash to it.”

“Like yourself.”

“Do I detect a touch of irony there? But it is a good solid word… and it’s not exactly what you’d call pretty…”

“Definitely like yourself,” the robot murmured.

“But ‘Rod Gallowglass’ sounds more like a minotaur name… I got it! While I am here, my name shall be Gallow Glass!” With that said, Rod struck a pose, wings flared.

Fess shook his head. “We better get moving,” he said.

“Not yet, Old Iron. We have to get a name for you.”

“You have any ideas, Rod?”

“How about… Fess Forward?”

The robot shot a look at Rod. “That joke was funny the first time you said it.”

“Have you been keeping track or something?”

“Yes; you have told that same joke thirty-four times already.”

Rod facehoofed.

---

A walk into town, a quick stop at blacksmith to sell some of the gold nuggets in Rod’s satchel for the local currency, and the pair were ready to set off. As they walked, Rod saw more and more signs of selections the founders had made. A shop that sold feather quills and sofas was right next to a shop that sold primitive electronic devices, like calculators and digital watches. Rod took this opportunity to by a newspaper.

“Looks like the minstrel idea was a bad idea after all,” Rod muttered, skimming over an article detailing an attack by something called ‘plunder vines.’ “Although, how do they spread this information so quickly?”

“Dragonfire messages would have enough range to get information quickly across the continent,” Fess said, referring to a spell that transported any information from one pony to another via flame.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Rod said. “But don’t dragonfire messages have a limit of 200 miles?”

“Not really,” said Fess. “It depends on the amount of magic the caster can call forth. And tying the spell to a dragon’s flame increases the range expositional.”

“Interesting,” Rod said. “Where there any dragons with the colonists?”

“None listed,” Fess said. “However, the founders were given a clutch of eggs by a local horde(1).”

Rod nodded. “That makes sense,” he said. He rolled up the newspaper and stuffed it into his saddlebag. “Enough waiting around,” he said. “Let’s get this party started.”

“Did somepony say PARTY?!”

“WAH!” Rod started as a pink earth pony wrapped her forelegs around him and Fess.

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! Are you new in Ponyville? Of course you are; I know everypony in Ponyville, I don’t know you, so you are new in Ponyville!”

After Rod got his heartbeat under control, he took another look at the pink pony, confirming that she was one of the mares that had found the landing site. She was like any of the other mares he had seen over the years, although she seemed a little chubby, and her bright blue eyes were constantly wandering.

Fess noticed his master’s expression. “The Dream again?” he asked.

“The Dream?” asked Pinkie. “Is that like my Pinkie Sense? Or is it a metaphor? Or does it even matter? Oh, what’s your name?!”

Rod straightened up. “I am Gallow Glass,” he said. “And this here is my friend Fess.”

Pinkie tilted her head. “Gallow Glass? You look like your name would be Rod.”

Fess’s legs started trembling for a moment.

“Anyway, welcome to Ponyville, Gallow Glass! You know, that is a funny name; but then, I’m not one to talk, at least not with a name like Pinkamena Diane Pie. So, wachya doing?”

Glad to be back on a safer track, Rod answered, “We were heading to the capitol.”

Pinkie tilted her head again. “Why would you go to Canterlot?” she asked. “It’s a silly place.”

Fess let out a spark, which he covered up by coughing.

“I mean, when they had the Grand Galloping Gala, which is the biggest party of the year, they didn’t have the essentials of a party; no party snacks only fancy stuff, no games, the music was too slow, no confetti…” She pouted for a while, and then perked up.

“Anyway, see you later; got to go get ready for your “Welcome to Ponyville” party!” With that, she ran toward a shop that looked like a dessert.

“Come on,” Rod said as soon as she was out of sight. “Let’s get out of here before she gets back.”

Five minutes later, Fess stopped in his tracks. Rod turned to him. “Picking up something?” he asked.

“Wh-where did she c-c-come from?” Fess asked, his voice breaking up.

Rod was about to answer, when he realized that Pinkie Pie had appeared just out of nowhere. There was no magical signature, no sound before she spoke up, nothing. It was as if she was just there.

“I don’t-” He stopped. Fess had just been exposed to a lot of logic-breaking events in just a few seconds, and all of it had just caught up to him, resulting in another seizure.

Rod sighed and tapped the reset button.

---

The pair made their way towards a building which sign proclaimed it as a train station. Fess got a couple of tickets and soon they were on their way.

The train ride was uneventful, which allowed Rod to catch up on some much needed sleep, and for Fess to go through the data they had uncovered so far.

Upon reaching Canterlot(2), they exited along with the other passengers. The otherworldly pair stood outside the entrance and talked about their next move.

“So… Canterlot,” Rod said.

“That’s only a model,” a new voice said.

Rod and Fess jumped up and turned away from the miniature city of Canterlot that was on display just outside the entrance and looked at the speaker. He was a white unicorn with a blonde mane, and the cutie mark of a compass rose. He was dressed in a suit jacket, with a rose in the lapel. “Can I help you gentlecolts?” he asked.

“Why, yes,” Rod said. “We are new in town, and we were wondering if we could ask some questions.”

“Ask away,” the unicorn said. “But could I get your names?”

“Gallow Glass,” Rod said, extending a hoof. “And this is Fess.”

“Prince Blueblood,” the unicorn said, taking Rod’s outstretched hoof and shaking it.

Rod gave a small bow. “Pleased to meet you, Your Grace,” he said.

Blueblood sighed. “It’s just ‘Prince,’” he said. “My dear father is ‘His Grace.’”

Rod’s respect for Blueblood rose a few notches.

“But I apologize. You don’t need to hear about my domestic worries. Were you wanting to ask about something?”

“Is there any place in Canterlot for a soldier?” Rod asked.

Blueblood thought for a moment. “The Royal Guard is always looking for new applicants,” he said after a moment. “Especially after the wedding.”

“Why was that?” Rod asked, curious as to what happened.

Blueblood shrugged. “I don’t know, really,” he said. “I had some urgent business matters to take care of at home.” He added under his breath, “I still think that father didn’t need me to find those old maps.”

He shook his head. “Anyways, I’m not here a lot lately. Father has me running around, doing all sort of things. The most recent news I have is about two, three years old. Sorry if I couldn’t help you.”

“Actually, you’ve helped a lot,” Rod said, turning to leave. “Thank you very much!”

“My pleasure,” said Blueblood, who went the other way.

When he and Fess were alone, Rod said, “So the Guard is always looking for new members; that’s probably bad.”

“Possibly,” Fess acknowledged.

“But in that apple town (3) everything had seemed normal. Almost like you would expect on Earth.”

“And?”

“I think somepony had contact with Earth in the past hundred years.”

“That would explain the similarities we have seen,” said Fess. “However, with this culture, it would be highly unlikely.”

Rod sighed. “I know,” he said. “Still, do you got a better idea?”

“Not yet, Rod.”

Rod looked up at the sky. “Looks like we’ve got an hour till dark. Let’s go find a place to crash.”

---

It was near sunset when they found a hotel. The grey mare at the front desk barely twitched an eye at the nugget Rod gave for payment; the only response she had to Fess’s unnaturally shiny coat was a raised eyebrow.

Rod dropped the saddlebags on the bed, then flopped down on it. Fess sat down in a chair and closed his eyes. It looked like he was asleep, but what he really was doing was getting in contact with the ship and saving the events of the day to the computer.

After a while, Rod half-opened his eyes. “Any progress, Fess?” he asked.

“A bit. There is an energy field around the planet, reducing the effectiveness of radio communications and tracking. About a hundred yard away, static starts to interfere, corrupting the signal.”

Rod nodded. “And the bug?” he asked.

“Possibly a native species to this planet,” Fess said. “They probably hid away from the colonists. When they use magic, it seems to manifest as a green flame.”

Rod nodded. “This planet get weirder and weirder,” he said.

He then got up and headed to the door.

“Where are you going, Rod?”

Rod looked at Fess. “I’m stretching my legs,” he said. “You wanna come along?”

Fess looked at his leg. “No, I better not,” he said. “I need to preform maintenance on my right front leg. And I need to restart my systems; I have a lot of data to integrate. And maybe I’ll find a way around the interference.”

“Yeah, you go and do that,” Rod said.

“You will have to manually restart me when the upgrades are complete.”

Rod held a wingfeather out. “No worries, Fess. Just a quick lap around the block.”

“If you say so,” Fess muttered, beginning to unscrew a bolt from his leg.

Rod quickly left. Even knowing that Fess was a robot, it was unnerving to watch a pony take himself apart.

Exiting the building, he looked up at the setting sun. He was so engrossed in admiring the colors, he failed to notice somepony sneaking behind him.

He did notice the wooden club that knocked him out.

Author's Note:

1) The official name for a group of dragons.
2) After a six-hour trip to a place called Apploosa. Both ways. Rod regreted telling Fess to get the cheapest tickets possible.
3) There had been a one hour delay while the train refueled.

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