The Crazies

by SkelePone

2: The Not-So-Great Escape

SkelePone (Felix Aberg & Lief Mason) presents

THE CRAZIES

CHAPTER TWO

THE NOT-SO-GREAT ESCAPE

“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

― Confucius

---

Dear Diary,

I’m leaving the hospital tonight.

Screwball and Screwloose are coming for me and we’re all leaving this hellhole together. Maybe for only a few days, maybe forever. I don’t know.

Screwball came to my room yesterday.

She had asked for my help. Can you believe it? Screwball, the byproduct of Discord and chaotic energy running rampant, asking me, a simple stallion with a skin condition, to help her escape? It’s unbelievable! At first, I thought she had been joking, you know? Screwball’s notorious here at the hospital for pranking ponies; not to mention her odd and often distasteful sense of humor.

But she had explained it all to me. How I could show them a way out, how I’d map it out. And then at midnight they would come and get me. And take me with them!

I’m excited. This will be my first time outside since I was a colt. And… I admit I’m a little scared. It’s a big world out there, Diary. And I have a feeling of impending doom. I don’t want to be a pessimist, but I’m starting to have a bad feeling about Screwball. Whenever I ask her what our plans for after the escape are, she shrugs it off and changes the conversation. It’s weird. Even for her.

But maybe I’m just worrying myself-

- - -

I cover my diary with my blankets as I hear my bedroom door creak open. I had been keeping my diary a secret for years; I was worried that it was against hospital policy, since writing utensils were banned from patient use.

The diary itself had been a gift from my mother. The pencil I had... ‘acquired’ after sneaking into a doctor’s office years ago and swiping it off of the table while nopony was looking.

It’s only Screwball, floating silently over the ground. She waves to me; then points a hoof to the slightly ajar bathroom door. Go get ready.

I shuffle in, cracking the door behind me. This is going to be my last chance to clean my bandages for awhile. I quickly peel off what was my layer of skin. My only protection from the elements. I would need thicker wrappings if I wanted to travel comfortably.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stand there for a moment, looking sadly at what should have been a normal, maybe even handsome face.

I can’t look any longer. It’s sickening; reminds me of the life I could have lived. The one I was going to live, I reminded myself. Once I escaped this sterile prison...

“Scabs, hurry it up!” Screwball hissed from behind the door.

“I’m coming!” I whispered back.

I leap into action, wrapping myself in a few layers of Dr. Dermal’s Patented Anti-Infection Medical Wrap. My vision becomes hazy and depthless once again as I recover my crusted eye. I wish I could leave it uncovered. But the day before I had had the scab removed once again, and the skin on my eyelids was still raw.

I double-checked my handiwork and gave my reflection a nod of approval. Padding back out to Screwball, I gave her a small nod and peered an eye out of the small window in my door.

“Is the coast clear?” Screwball hissed into my ear.

“Nurse Redheart’s just down the hall. She should be going to bed in a few sec- wait there she goes. Told you.”

“Okay,” Screwball said, no longer whispering, “Grab your stuff. I’ll go get Loose.”

I gave her a quick little salute as she floated out of my room. I let myself explode into an excited squee as I padded about my room. I pulled my pillow out from my pillowcase and started to shove random paraphernalia into it. My diary. The pencil. Extra bandages. Pain medicine. A Daring Do book. (What? When that crazy rainbow pegasus shared my room, she kind of got me hooked. Stuff like that happens.)

I gazed down at my few possessions in half-amazement, half-depression. Was this really everything I owned?

“Scabby, let’s go! You ready?”

I almost jumped out of my bandages in shock. I whirled around to see a panting Screwloose; still wearing her straightjacket and her muzzle. With her, Screwball levitated a few inches off the ground, patiently awaiting my say-so.

“Um… Are you sure we should bring her?” I asked, pointing a hoof at Screwloose. “She’s kinda… tied up.”

Screwball considered her friend, studying the straightjacket with squinted eyes.

“Eh. We can figure it out later.” She said with a shrug. I shrugged back. Screwball motioned towards my stuffed pillowcase. I obliged slinging it onto my back and giving a little salute.

She smirked and pointed her hoof at the door, which was slightly ajar and exiting into the dark hall.

“Lead the way, captain.”

---

The halls of the hospital were dark and cold.

Even so, I was still sweating nervously. Sweet Celestia I was scared.

What if we got caught?! What if Screwloose started barking out of the blue?! So much could go wrong in such little time, and the sheer thought of that send my body into frightened shudders and shakes.

Screwball was using her unnatural chaos magic to levitate the silent Screwloose down the hall. She followed close behind me; but without their heavy breathing I wouldn’t even have been able to hear the floating mares. The only sounds in the hall were my shuffling hoofsteps, our bated breaths, and the air conditioner rumbling behind us.

As we made our way down the hall, a patient in one of their rooms would let out a snore or say something in their sleep. Every time the three of us would freeze and stare at the offending room with wide eyes until we were sure that the pony inside was still asleep.

I read the signs on the doors, identifying the patient. It helped me take my mind off of how much trouble we’d be in for escaping.

Teddie Safari. Mauled by Ursa Major.

Treehugger. Cannabis overdose.

Felix. Melanoma.

Derpy Hooves. Flying accident.

We make it to the end of the hall after what should have been less than a minute. It felt like it had been hours.

I hold up a hoof to stop the Screws from continuing as I peer my one good eye around the corner. I waved a hoof crazily in some attempt to usher them into the next room. We creeped into Derpy’s room, holding hooves over each other’s mouths to keep the other from letting out any involuntary noises as a bulky security stallion trotted down the hall with a flashlight glowing from his mouth.

He was looking for something.

And I had a distinct feeling that I knew what he was looking for:

Us.

I removed my hoof from Screwloose’s wet leather muzzle. I let out a soft groan of disgust at the feel of her slobber sticking to my hooves. Gross.

I picked up my makeshift bag once again and the three of us were off once more, slowly shuffling down the halls.

The plan was simple. Make it all the way to the colt’s restroom at the end of Hall E without getting caught by security. Bust through the grate and into the air ducts leading us directly outside. Assuming that we can scuffle through ducts without alerting hospital personnel to our location.

It was an amazing plan!

Screwball let out a nervous eep as we ducked into another room, a security stallion humming as he walked past. I struggled to keep in a groan of annoyance.

It was a terrible plan.

After what could have been hours, we eventually made our way into the colt’s restroom. The sterile checkered tiles gleamed under bright oil lamps dangling from the ceiling. I hurriedly locked the bolt at the door.

“Okay, Screwball, you know what to do. I’ll get to untying Loose.” I whispered. Screwball nodded and flew over to the large slatted grate on the wall opposite of the door.

I heard her whacking away at the vent’s bolts, so I busied myself with untying the various belts and buckles that kept Screwloose bound and immobile like she was. There were so many knots in the belts that I wondered if anypony even planned on letting Screwloose so much as feel her forelegs.

She let out a whimper when I accidentally tugged at a belt too roughly.

“Sorry,” I grumbled, “working as fast as I can, okay?” She lets out a muffled bark and for a moment I’m glad she has a muzzle on, so her crazed noises won’t be heard by security stallions.

“Hey Screwball?”

“Mmhmm?” She mumbles from across the restroom, completely engrossed in the vent. I notice how serious she looks when she doesn’t have wall-eyes. Her little grimace of concentration splayed across her fuchsia pink face. I couldn’t help but think she looked a bit cute… I quickly shook my head, fighting the urge to slap myself.

Now’s not the time, Salmon.

“Do I have to take the muzzle off? We don’t want her making a racket. Right?”

Screwball completely disregards her task and gives me a very sullen frown.

“What?”

“Are you serious?” She snaps.

“Um… kinda?”

“She’s a pony, just like you and me. That muzzle, that jacket; it’s just wrong, Salmon. Would you want a muzzle on? Huh?”

I was taken aback. Not only by her strict tone of voice, but by the fact that she called me by my actual name.

“W-Well… no…”

“Take the muzzle off of her, Scabby.” She said darkly. Screwball squashed her propeller hat tightly onto her skull and turned around once more to face the half-removed grate.

I obliged, ripping off the muzzle. Screwloose let out a quiet yip and licked my cheek.

Gross.

Despite my burning desire to re-muzzle the loony dog-mare-thing, I finished my job of untangling her from the straightjacket. Now Screwloose free to bound carelessly about the restroom, panting and wagging her tail like a dog. At the same time, Screwball let out a low hoot of joy as the grate finally crashed to the ground. We had a little celebration, then and there. We were one step closer to making it out of here. Of course, that light of glory didn’t last long. Something just HAD to go wrong.

“Hey! Is somepony in there?” A harsh voice shouted on the other side of the door. “Open up!”

“Oh buck!” Screwball swore, shoving Screwloose into the vent. We were in trouble now.

“What are we going to do?” I panicked, sitting on my haunches and tugging at my ears.

“Just keep up with the plan!” Screwball hissed, giving Screwloose a slap on the flank; making her yelp and leapt into action.

“We’re giving you until the count of three!”

Screwloose was now scrabbling down the air duct, followed immediately by Screwball. I stood there, my legs limp. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It went against every good colt nerve in my body. The Salmon Code of Good Behaviour, that I seemingly adopted in the span of minutes.

“One!”

Her head popped out from the vent. Screwball gave an irritated huff.

“Well? Come on, Scabs!”

“TWO!”

I took a few shaky steps towards her. She grimaced and reached out a hoof to pull me in forcibly. Just in time, too.

“THREE!”

The door smashed open, and about a dozen security stallions swarmed in just as we made our way down the vent and towards the cold breeze of night air we could feel.

“Sound the alarm! We have a few escapees!”

There was Screwloose, whimpering at the grate leading to the outside. This time, Screwball didn’t hesitate to headbutt the vent, busting it off. The three of us tumbled outside, falling several stories into some rather prickly bushes.

We were free.

Comments

[SkeIePone]

6577023 I am very sorry to say, the story may never be completed, due to the fact that I was banned months ago.