I'm a fellow brony who'd like to share his fics with the world. =)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think this was a good idea and a good story overall, but it could have been done better. You either need to go through and reread your stories before you post them or get an editor, though you didn't switch tenses which is good. Also, don't mention 'the author' unless it's a purposeful funny bit. When you did it in this oneshot all I felt it did was break the pace of the story. Now, I understand that this was a oneshot clopfic, but the pacing in this could have been done much better. There was no build up or middle at all, it just went start-climax. Now as I said, this was not bad, it just could have been done better. Keep writing, keep practicing and keep moving forward.
Sequel !!!!!!!!
The clop was good, but it was a bit short.
The story could be better though.
I'll give you 3 yays and 1 moustache
You! Yes YOU! Who is the cover art by son?
Ultimately there are two things wrong here. The first is that the story does seem rushed, so adding lil more to the middle would be good. Second, the beginning has a bunch of grammar issues. It happens less later but still does show.
Story:7.5/10
Grammar:7/10
All in all good, just watch the errors and add some filling.(DONT TAKE THAT AS A JOKE)
Would love to see what happens next.
6314220 searched pictures of Luna. Found this. Liked it. Now it's here. Not rightly sure, however I'm trying to figure out an issue with something because it won't be ideation use my own cover art, which I'd like to so I don't have to do that any more.