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A Bolt Through Time

A mysterious new pony arrives in Ponyville. He has no memory, but starts to slowly regain it. Will he be able to save his fallen home city, or will the dark enemy looming over Equestria destroy them all?
PROOFREADING ACCEPTED THIS IS THE FIRST VERSION

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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Rozu

Rozu #1 · Nov 23rd, 2011 · · ·

it's awesome ^^

#2 · Nov 23rd, 2011 · · ·

yeah its awesome

bcsnakeeyes

bcsnakeeyes #3 · Mar 17th, 2012 · · ·

well im not going to lie.....it needs to be fixed up a bit.....the flow of the story is soo random... theres no continuity like for example it seems kinda ushed at alot of points...for example you say hes going to one spot then immediatly arriving you say hes going to another. if you can fix those isssues and maybe give it a little more detail on somethings im sure this story would be awsome. but as it is right now it seems it only deserves a 3.5 out of 10.