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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The fight with Chrysalus was great. It was also slightly funny to see her get into a mental rant on how adorable Shy is.
Thank you!
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/327502/finish-her-o.gif
Ooo its gettin good now.
Too drunk to give a good comment, but drunken me really enjoyed this.
EDIT: Fixed a drunken typo. Copious amounts of alcohol are no excuse for blatant illiteracy.
Good story. Liked and tracked. Waiting for more.
P.S. Looks like you are close to 100 likes.
The edge is strong with this one.
So the changelings were being controlled? And the changelings present were not even a fraction of the entirety? This is either really good, or really bad.
6151296 Sober me really liked this too. ;)
Sorry, but I would have preferred if Cadance had just be turned vampire-pony and had been the main character, finding Twilight, getting both of them out of the cave, ...
Welp... I'm afraid that this is the end for me.
Good story so far, but I'm going to stop reading here.
You did a good job, only a few types and whatnot, but you did a good job nonetheless.
Keep it up, and farewell.
6152490 wut
Needs less capital letters.
6154275 How do you mean?
6154264
I was just expressing my opinion.
6155032 Nah i get it, the thought just never occurred to me
6154626 I found the story and read through it in about 20 min. I noticed a lot of different font sizes and lots of caps lock. Kinda distracting. Thoughts would better be displayed subdued or italicized than in bold, and caps just makes it harder to read without cringing, I like the story though. It isn't a bad premise, if a bit tired. It just needs some polishing.
6155672 I have gotten a lot of negative feedback over my style of formatting. I originally did it with a purpose in mind but...
If so many people are turned off enough by that alone then perhaps it is best if I change it.
6156091 It's your story man, format it how you want. I was just offering my feedback from a readers standpoint. It isn't bad enough to keep me from reading, I just thought I'd mention it.
6156091 I like the bold format on the thoughts.
6162425 That is very nice to hear.
need more
Well, the writing was fine, but that tactics and strategies were nonexistant. I basically just read about a guy walking through a bunch of people with no resistance and killing their leader.
I'll read the next chapter to see if it's going for more of a social conflict, kind of like everything that has Superman in it.
6456677 To be fair blood magic is pretty damn effective though, injure the user? Good job, you just made him add his own blood. Get killed? Excellent, you just gave his magic your entire supply of blood, it's pretty much the most effective when up against an army.
6522198
...
Let's adlib that:
Now, let's see...
Or...
Now for the important part...
You can pretty much say that about any not-very-well-defined power. And there are times in real life where one side is vastly more powerful than the other. Usually though, they're humans and understand that they would be complete douchbags if they just annhilated the other side, including unarmed towns. (Usually. There are psychopaths/sociopaths, but they're jerks and you can't form a stable society with only them.)
This main character though... well, he probably has problems, and I get the strong feeling that the author doesn't have a good grasp on those problems, as they don't seem to be addressed. In fact, it seems more implied that this behavior is normal for humans, which shows a disconnect from reality, and makes me think that reading this would require me to unlearn some things later on.
If this were a realistic war, a realistic extermination, a realistic story about a failing society of sociopaths/psychopaths, or a realistic story about a human sociopath, I would probably enjoy it. But it isn't, and the one point that tells me that the most is the mane six's reaction to him at the end of this battle, especiall Fluttershy's, and their actions in the following days.
To be Hunted
That is the fate of the Alien.
To be Purged
That is the fate of the Alien.
To be Cleansed
That is the fate of all Aliens.
Emperor, bestow on me Your righteous fury and Your furious strength. Let me become the storm that blasts the enemy from Your sight.
Mortis Xenos, Ave Imperator!
I'm enjoying the hyper violence.
I only have one correction though.
Choking happens when something is obstructing the windpipe from the inside.
Wrath was strangling her.
I know, I know, semantics right?
Other than that, this is a very fun read so far.
6833863 Very astute observation, Handsome Jack.
At least find synonyms for adorable, jesus.
6833863
6854692
Mister Tassiter - maybe you can settle up something for me - do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?
If you want an editor, I shall await your P.M.
(2:08)
Aaand, que music