The Smooze

It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon at Fluttershy’s cottage.

WAS.

Angel was dangling from the ceiling signaling SOS while the teapot was doing a little tap dance with teacups. The plants were tickling each other as the other animals in the house started to conga. To top it all off, Fluttershy’s cottage was hurtling at Celestia-knows pace through Discord’s dimension.

Fluttershy took a sip of her tea. “I love what you wanted to take me to your dimension, but don’t you think this is a bit…much?” She stared out the window as a mail pony flew by.

“Oh I’m sorry Flutters.” Discord smile apologetically. “This is the best I can do when it comes to my own dimension. Despite being the god of this area, I can’t actually control chaos. I can only bend its will.” He looked at the congaing animals. “If I let the dimension to its own free will, those animals would probably have eaten each other as well as you and probably my left foot.”

A crash came from the kitchen. “DISCORD! The kettle is yelling at the pot about being black but they’re the same color!”

Discord took a sip of tea. “Oh don’t worry about that Pinkie Pie! It’s just a side effect-“

Another crash came from upstairs as Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack came crashing down the stairs.

“YOU INVITED IT?!” The three mares yelled.

“What? The Smooze is one of my best, surviving friends! We went to-“

A flash of blue appeared in front of Discord and began to strangel him.

“Get rid of that thing Discord!” Rainbow yelled. “It keeps coming after me!”

“I-I Can’t-“

With a quick flash, he turned himself into a snake and slithered out of Rainbow’s hooves.

“Ahem.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll have you know that we went to college together and that ‘thing’”, he made quotes with his claws, “Is not just any being. The Smooze is a life form from deep within the Earth. She is probably the last of her kind.”

“There are more?!” Twilight’s eyes lit up…until a giant droplet of goo smacked her in the eye.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

The Smooze began to melt from the upstairs through the cracks of the wooden cottage. The mares kept screaming as Fluttershy and Discord continued to drink tea.

“Ah’ve had enough of this! Take us back Discord!” Applejack yelled.

The goop gathered by Discord and reformed back into the loveable glob it was.

“Now Now Applejack. You promised you would all stay for the day and have tea. So let-“

“I made a promise,” She pointed to Fluttershy. “To my friend.”

Discord pouted. “Are you still salty about the vines?”

Applejack’s face turned the color of a gala (as in the apple, not the gala from the night before. Damn it read a proper book).

“Salty? What in tarnation? Ah don’t know yer fancy lingo-“

Discord. “You really should use the internet sometime.” As Applejack opened her mouth to what in Celetstia’s name an ‘internet’ was,
Twilight spoke up.

“How did you and…it-“

“Her.”

“Her…meet?”

Discord’s eyes stopped swirling, as they did when he was bored. “Oh you want to know that story? Well, it is an interesting and long one and I don’t think we have-“

Fluttershy shook her head. “We have all day, remember? I even brought cucumber sandwiches.”

Discord turned pale. Pinkie took the moment to step in. “Ooh Ooh! I wanna hear this story! It isn’t often I get to hear a story from 1000 years ago! Unless you count Cthulu’s-“

A zipper replaced her mouth and was closed. Discord stood up, claws behind his back, and walked to the cottage window.

“It isn’t a story I like to tell. College wasn’t exactly the best time for me.” When he turned around, his eyes had black and white images of his memory. “ Well, if you all want to know, look into my eyes.”

Pinkie managed to undo the zipper. “This better not be like Jafar’s staff.”

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“Hello college!” The short freshman draconnequs voiced. The school, College of Godhood, was not something taken lightly. Only gods who had excelled at controlling their powers and receiving top marks in class and on the GAT (God Assessment Test) were allowed to apply. Of those few who could, only 10 were chosen.

Discord had always studied diligently when he wasn’t playing hoofball or watching anime. He wasn’t much for friends back in high school but now at the college age, he had decided that epic fights lasting 20 episodes with monsters on his parent’s 70 inch plasma wide screen tv while sipping (drink name censured) was becoming unappealing. He hoped to change his life a bit in college.

As he was walking down the hallways, he peered inside large lecture halls and small class rooms. In most of the large ones, the gods seemed to be either sleeping or attempting to open dimensions to other realms to give advice to any person who had been unfortunate enough to come near the rift. But even more importantly, he noticed gods of all kinds. There were some that were scaly and slimy, others tall and tenacious. He even spotted a senior (he supposed) with a massive beard writing with a lightning bolt pen.

As he kept admiring the rooms, reality hit him in the face. Literally.

“Hey watch it kid!” The tall god yelled.

“Oh I’m so sorry!” Discord said sarcastically. “It’s just that I don’t pay attention to a locker standing in the middle of the hallway.

“A wha-“

POOF!

In the blink of an eye, the god had turned into a blue locker. “There!” Discord laughed, as other students began to take notice. “I hope you enjoy your new life as a box that has random things inserted into it!” He did a quick bow to the gathered students to emphasize his point. They clapped their appreciation.

“This school is too easy.” Discord muttered to himself.

-----------------------------------

He found his dorm room in the east wing. Making a whirlwind (literally), he entered the room with a graceful hello-

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The goddesses began throwing pencils and firing magic blasts. Discord attempted a mediation.

“Ladies! I made a mistake- OW!” With a snap of his fingers, he teleported himself to the west wing. Dusting off his shirt, he swung the door
open.

“Hello gentle gods!”

The three seniors looked at the small freshman. Or rather, the locker from earlier and his two friends had decided to pay the freshman a visit. They took menacing steps toward the draconnequus.

“Oi! Yo’ dat lil runt ‘at Aries been talkin’ ‘bout.” The one on the left exclaimed.

Discord though quickly. “May I ask who that is?”

“That’d be me.” The locker spoke up. “Would you be so kind as to change me back please?”

Disturbed at the politeness of the senior, he snapped his fingers. The senior stood up and looked down directly at Discord. Reaching out
his massive arms, Discord noticed the straps of menacing spikes jutting out.

“NOPE!”

With a snap of his fingers, he whisked himself away. He ended up in the main academic hall way and kept running. The sound of Aries
yelling in anger could be heard from the west wing. As Discord help running, he felt that he was moving distinctly faster. Looking down, he
realized that we wasn’t actually running, more so slipping very fast down a hallway into a giant glob of green.

“LOOK OUT!”

The green glob turned around as Discord flew right into it. He closed his eyes, expecting to completely destroy the glob. Instead, he
opened his eyes to a world of complete green.

“UUUUUHhhhhhhhhh-“

“GLUB GLUB GLUB!”

Realizing that he could not breath inside the goop, he teleported himself out. Looking at the glob, he tried to give it what for, but realized
that it was not staring at him. Rather, it was staring at the window full of Godhood’s trophies.

“Uhm hello? Earth to glob?” The glob did not move an inch. “Hey! I’m talking to you fat f-“

Suddenly, the cuff of his neck was grabbed by some incredibly powerful hands.

“’Ere did ya think you were goin’ mate?” The senior asked menacingly.

“Nowhere!” He cried. “I was just…uh…”

“Surprised to see that we will be your roommates?” Aries chimed in.

Discord blinked. “Room…mates?”

Aries smiled. “Oh yes…us three seniors and you the small freshman. And believe me, it will be a great time.” Little twinkled in his eyes
danced…either that or there was something in his eye. Probably murder.

“Now hold on fellas-“

He was cut off as Aries materialized an enormous 2 meter long (giggity) axe. He rose it over his head

“NO! I’m too young to die! I’ll never get to live my dream of being a model for stone sculptures!”

As he closed his eyes waiting for the end, he felt his body melting into the ground. Or rather, the glob had absorbed Discord into its body.
It also stopped the blow of axe.

“Wha-“

With a sudden SHLOOP!, the axe was inhaled by the blob.

“EWWWW! It’s Smooze!” The senior on the right yelled. “It’ll eat us all!”

As the two seniors ran away, Aries materialized another giant gold blade, only for it to be once again absorbed. Panicking, he fell right on
his gluteous maximus.

“No please! I was only trying to give the fresh meat what he deserved!” His cries fell on deaf ears…or rather non-existent. With another
great SHLOOP!, the senior was sucked into the belly where Discord sat, still waiting for his end.

Opening his eyes, Aries realized that he was not in fact dead, and was just a few inches away from Discord.

“Hey freshman! What’s goin’ on? Why are you shaking like that?”

Discord opened his eyes. He realized that he was still inside the goop. Looking at Aries, he began to attempt to snap his fingers to turn the
god into a locker again, but was stopped by the fact he could hardly move. He attempted to speak, but realized that he was in the
unbreathable goop.

Aries blew a bubble and stuck it on Discord’s head. “You okay?”

Discord stared at his roommate. “Whatever you are going to do, do it quickly! I have a date tonight!”

The senior stared then laughed the heartiest laugh he had ever heard. “Do what to you? I can’t go around hurting my partner for the day!”

As the Smooze dissipated, Discord stood up and spoke with the senior.

“Jeez kiddo you’ve got some skill! Transformation isn’t something easy, even for a senior. What’s your domain?”

Discord smiled and help out his claw. “Chaos”

Aries laughed and returned the handshake. “I’m war. We’ll be good friends you and I. How about we head down to the mess hall for lunch?
Smooze, you come too.”

The now somewhat bigger ball of gloop smiled and followed the pair into the dining room.

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The reel in Discord’s eyes began to run out of film.

“Shoot! And it just got to the good part!”

The mane six stood up from the floor. Popcorn was scattered everywhere.

“Don’t worry my little ponies. That was only the first day I met Smooze. Honestly, not much happened between us. But that was how we
met.” Discord smiled at Smooze. “She was honestly a sweet and…slimy…heart.”

“Well you can’t just leave the story like that!” Rarity exclaimed. What happened to Aries? Are you still friends?”

Discord sat in the position of the Thinker. “Well, last I heard, he was trying to stir up some trouble in the, as he called it, “human” realm. He
said something about hill of Olympus.”

Twilight stood up. “Oh I know that realm-“

“No one cares.” Rainbow interrupted. “Tell us more about college. How were the stallions?”

Discord snapped his fingers. They were back in Equestria.

“Oh there isn’t much else to say. I went to classes, did community service, met the Avengers…all typical god college stuff.”

The clock struck six. Angel began tapping his foot.

“Oh I’m sorry everypony. I’ve got to take care of Angel. Perhaps we should continue this another time?”

The group moaned, but Discord smiled.

“Don’t worry everyone. There will be more stories. As long as Alpha continues to write.”

“Who?”

Author's Note:

So this was a bit of a shorter one and a tad rushed. Been finishing finals!

This is for the third Writer's training ground at EQD. Please let me know if I made an mistakes and what I can do to improve. Hope you had fun!