I enjoy writing a a lot and enjoy giving people something new to read.
After apple bucking season comes to a close, the Apple Family take a trip to Canterlot for the annual Apple Fair. Finding a lot of free time in between contests, Applejack takes the time to visit around the luxurious city. At the same time, Rarity is in Canterlot to pick up an order of fabric. But what happens when the two mares have a run in?
These events take place before the First Season.
For the EverfreeNW writing contest.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You misspelled "Applejack" in the short description of this story.
5746567
That's embarrassing...
Thanks for the notice...
5747016 It's all good
There were too many to name,
best apple cider
Something doesn't feel right.
And i suggest adding some vocabulary to spice up your story.
I am indeed intrigued by the concept, however.
5748629 Thank you! I'll get those fixed and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
This story was quite appalling. You don't have any interesting use of the dynamic between Applejack and Rarity and some of it simply makes little sense. The story is rather boring too and riddled with grammatical errors of even the basic variety.
5766966 Thanks, I appreciate your honesty.
Official EFNW 2015 Pre-Con Contest first round grading
Total: 11.5
Technical: 2/5
Plot: 1/5
Character: 2.5/5
Creativity: 3/5
Bonus: 3/5 (I felt like it was a good idea that deserved better execution.)
Comment: It doesn't seem like much effort was spent in polishing this story... there's a glaring typo on the very first line, and the grammar doesn't get much better from there. The inconsistent paragraph formatting threw me off, too. The plot was groan-inducing. Applejack and Rarity literally bump into each other, and Rarity invites a stranger to tea for absolutely no reason... which is then glossed over. Character was middling, not badly done, but not well done either... there was nothing there that really stood out as far as character building goes.