Love........SERIOUSLY!?
By Admiral Q
Revision by RC2101_Copey
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Dave felt like hell incarnate. His head felt like there was a marching band, parading round inside.
‘Why does my head hurt?’ He tried to remember the last thing he did, and was almost immediately assaulted by the memories of the last few weeks;
First my now EX-girlfriend, left me for a rich prick
Mom had a heart attack and died, right there infront of me
And to add salt to the wound, I got laid off.
After an event like that, not even burying himself in MLP could help as a distraction from the pain.
‘Right, life is just B-E-A-utiful right now!!’ he groaned -’Wait?’ Dave realised that inspite of all that happened, he could not remember the last few hours. Thinking on it for a second, it came back to him; ‘I needed a break, something to clear my head - aha- I was driving to Yellowstone National Park.’
As his mind started to clear, massive headache notwithstanding, it suddenly became apparent that he had a weird feeling all over his body- no wait; the weird feeling WAS his body, and he seemed to be lying down in a bed.
‘Did I crash? DID I CRASH?! - Fantastic, I CANNOT afford to replace my car right now.’ He let out a frustrated groan. As he did so, he noticed it sounded strangely effeminate, closer to a young womans then an adult males.
He heard movement nearby;
“I think she's waking up your highness.” ‘Highness? There's no chance I’d be in the same ward as royalty, so what in hell is going on?’
Dave opened his eyes, in order to assess the situation. 'MY EYES! THE LIGHT, IT BURNS!' He slammed his eyes shut, and attempted to raise his arms to provide further cover, but someone was holding them down.
“Easy there, you're still pretty weak. You’ve been in a coma for almost a week now, take it slow.” It was the same voice as before, probably one of the nursing staff.
'I’ve been in a coma for a week? Damn, what did I do? But could be worse I guess, I could have been under for longer, or even dead.' He tried opening his eyes again, this time much more slowly, and was greeted with the sight of a brightly lit, and overly ornate hospital room. While the decor was odd in itself, it failed to grab his attention - that was firmly rooted to the pastel colored pony standing at the foot of his bed, staring at him with concern written on huge doe eyes.
Even that failed to win the prize for shocking however, because a sudden movement to his right caused him look away, and lose his jaw to gravity. Standing there was none other than
‘PRINCESS
FREAKING
CELESTIA!’
‘OMG, CELESTIA IS BY MY BED! I've got to be dreaming!
Before anyone could react, he raised his arm, and struck himself across the face, hoping to wake himself from whatever dream world this clearly must be. To his surprise, rather than waking up, all he received was sharp stab of pain. ‘Ouch, that hurt far too much- but if I’m not waking up, has someone pulled an Equestrian Girls prank on me? Maybe another try..’
He raised his arm to try again, but as his arm came towards his face, it stopped suddenly in what can only be described as a see-through yellow cloud. But rather than focus it that, it was the words that followed that brought his brain to a halt.
“Cadance - are you feeling alright? Why’d you hit yourself?” Celestia asked, in a worried tone.
‘Cadance?’
For the first time, Dave spoke;
“I need a mirror.”
His voice sounded familiar, but it definitely wasn't his, and it didn’t seem a match for the Cadance he remembered from the show. Celestia conjured a mirror with her magic, and held it out in front of Dave. Dave looked into it with apprehension.
There, on the hospital bed, was Cadance, no doubt about it. A much younger Cadance for sure, closer to the adolescent version Twilight remembers as her foal-sitter. Her head was almost completely bandaged, but tuffs of her white, pink, and purple hair could be seen. She moved a hoof when he tried to move a hand, and when he tried to tilt his head, so did she. She looked passed the mirror, to Celestia, and asked;
“Could every..pony leave the room for a minute? And Celestia, could you soundproof the room for me? I don't want any..pony to hear this.”
Sounding skeptical, Celestia reluctantly agreed; “If you’re sure Cadance?”
“Just give me five minutes!” Dave pleaded. Celestia frowned, but nodded and the two ponies left the room, a distinct lack of sound prevailing from the soundproofing spell.
Now there he lay, alone in the hospital room...
In Cadance's body.
GREAT IDEA SO FAR!
As always, i hope he doesn´t have to give Cadance Body up in the end of the fanfiction, i would like it if he stays the way he is right now.
It seems to be a bit short, but i guess once the story really started we can maybe get a bit more, i don´t mind tp wait, but i like large chapters very much.
Ceelstia?
5639613 typo fixed
You're
5639613 Sealestia? th04.deviantart.net/fs70/150/i/2012/059/2/0/sealestia_kirbian_16k_by_jemm318-d4rc74u.png
pervs... pervs everywhere.... (I have a derty mind)
Did she wake up just after Cadance assertion to alicornhood?
Well that was... Short.
The tense keeps changing so frequently that this is just unbearable to read.
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A new revision is out - This is my first job editing, so feedback is appreciated :)
I'm keeping the plot line the same, just fluffing out the detail.
teacher! i have a question! if a guy's mind gets stuffed into a chicks body, and he gets sexed up by the chicks husband, does that count as gay?
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Nope.
Trust me, I have experience.5714110
Comment + Profile Pic = Comedy
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I know what I would do if I was in Cadance's body...
pre13.deviantart.net/0157/th/pre/i/2015/044/0/3/incoming__by_gray__day-d8husx0.png
6089668 that is disturbingly accurate.
5979528 1. data1.whicdn.com/images/55685266/original.jpg
2. i153.photobucket.com/albums/s235/revmyspace2/graphics/Misc/Funny/funny_borat_sexy_time.jpg
This first chapter is rather poorly formatted. At first, when I clicked on the story, I noticed I had already read the first chapter some time ago, and left without rating the story. Now I know why. The whole thing just feels like an author's rushed narrative rather than a first chapter.
It's a rough draft, not a finished product. I'd suggest getting an editor to help you clean it up.
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Prereader,,,SERIOUSLY!?
The slew of grammar and spelling issues aside, Dave seems to be pretty savvy and on the ball sending everyone out for five minutes. I know if I was just transported to another world and into a body of a different race and gender, I'd probably freak too, but at least he knows to do his in private. If Cadance was laid up for a week, though, I have to wonder if she's ascended yet or not with the lack of clues thus far.
Wow! This looks like this is going to be a pretty interesting story! :D
Well definitely read more. XD
LLLLOOOOLLLLL! How many people would actually want to be in his position?
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And here they all thought Chrysalis was going to be bad....
6762939 after masturbating liek a cougar in heat, he commenced the shipping wars!
Equestria went down in a lot of spooge in the end.
From experience I know that your voice sounds different in a recording because you hear your own voice partly through your ears & partly through convection through your skull.
woman's than, male's
on
dont lie you would of done that to
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Oh no! Everyone quick! Take your tin hats before she ship us all!
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I, Astral Spirit (my oc's name and he is alicorn), will not be shipped!!!!
Do some revision on chap 1 again. Few phrases that don't make sense like "she looked passed the mirror"
!
Man second Dave in a transform into a character I've read today coincidence i think not
First ever story i read about Cadance as main character. What happend to Cadance?
You know... Starting at anything but a Foals body is a huge disadvantage... Since for everyone else one is slow/ uneducated or even retarded...
Solution? Pull a Twilight and learn it all
Sending Heros to other world via car accidents is a classic. Neat
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2022, still great
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That avatar...
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Indeed, living for years only to leave it all behind. Unless... Twins?
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Absolutely priceless Celestia as Seapony
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*evil laugher* this will be fuuun
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Good question...
Pinklestia... Neat...
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2022, a lot better now.
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Good question... Just be BI and everything is perfect
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Picture broken... What was it?
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2022, it's a lot better now.
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2022, the first time i read 'in Cadance body'
And - it - is - GLORIOUS ♡
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I really missed a epic picture?
Glorious end
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Science
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🤝
Soundproof shaking shout incoming ♤
Could have been worse! Imagen being Zephyr, Fluttershy brother
Than again...