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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, I was kind of hoping we'd see the princesses reactions to hearing about Twilight's death. Now I see it would have been "Yes, we know."
As for how you could have presented it, unless you set more of this up further in advance it couldn't be helped. The idea is that not even alicorns know how alicorns work. Though maybe having Twi notice the hole in her chest slowly shrinking and a deadened sense of her body might have given some context to show what was going on, even the feeling of itching like something was healing that she couldn't directly observe. Also, good thing the Duke's forces didn't take her body. Imagine having her hanging on a wall and waking up to falling as the nails holding her up are pushed out. Not pleasant, then you might have to heal again from the fall.
Since she came back so fast you also don't have to worry about the MLF fracturing with her missing. Splinter extremist groups would not help things. Also, incoming jealous Fleur and Filly who still await magic parts regeneration. I'm reminding of a movie where a kid attends a relatives wake in the mid 1800s and sees the guy wake up. Ruins him for deaths the rest of his life, "We should have a wake for my hamster, then he can get better." Poor Filly, but she already has experience with death so probably not a danger of that.
Some neat stuff here. It's interesting to note that Alicorns in this verse are deathless/true immortal. The healing spell seems to need a guide, so Twilight needs to learn medicine to make one.
I still don't see the problem with the tornado, in fact the rush outside of the fort wasn't the best tactically, at least for the unicorns if they could fire from the walls; as said in that chapter they were outnumbered badly and needed a force multiplier. I suppose there might have been other options, but MLF still would have to kill quite a few of the enemy troops.
7156311 I wanted to try and give hints, and have towards a few aspects of alicornhood, like the healing and long life, but this couldn't be subtly hinted at really. It would either be explained before she died, or after, like so.
7156442 Tactically speaking, after a night time attack by the thestrals, and a tornado, the enemy aren't going to come to you in such a state of disarray. You're going to have to go to them while they aren't ready for you. Nothing was particularly wrong with the tornado either, tactically speaking. I get the feeling that I'll need to drop something into the story about why it might be an issue for Twilight specifically.
7156528 Ah I was thinking mostly about if they didn't use a tornado, could they have used the fort, well like a fort on the the high ground a used long range attacks on the enemy. Other wise yeah, mostly it's coming across that the problem is with Twilight. She doesn't seem to realize she's the leader of a military faction in a civil war and there are things like military targets.
Almost think you should have had the girls put Twilight in a big cask of honey in a attempt to preserve her corpse ala Alexander the Great. Having her awaken in a sticky dark mess would have been entertaining. That and have her wake up thinking of how to ascend her friends because she doesn't want to go through eternity without them.
7157268 Where could you even find that much honey? On the subject of her friends ascending I'm sure Hasbro will share with us some words of wisdo- BUY OUR TOYS!