“Whooaaa…” all three of the tiny equines breathed up at their fearsome-looking savior.
“That. Was. Awesome!” the little orange one squeaked. “Almost as awesome as Rainbow Dash! But not quite!” she hastily added.
Grievous was vaguely annoyed by the little equine’s voice and its praise of his earlier antagonist, but he opted to overlook that.
“What are you doing out here?” he demanded of the children. “I am told that this place is held to be dangerous – no place for young ones, as you have just discovered.”
“Uh, well, you see…” the white one rubbed a hoof behind the purple-pink mane on her head, looking down at Grievous’ feet.
“We were… tryin’ ta earn our alien hunter cutie marks,” the yellow one answered for her compatriot.
“Alien hunter?” if Grievous had had any eyebrows to raise skeptically, that would have been the time. This creatures did not look capable of successfully hunting an infant bird not yet out of the nest, much less anything that could fight back.
“Yeah, we sorta heard that, uh… your ship kinda landed in the Everfree… Mister General Grievous, sir…” said the orange one.
“I may have been listening in on Princess Twilight and my big sis when they said that,” admitted the white one, looking guilty.
“And so we came out here ta see if we could find yer ship and maybe earn our cutie marks tryin’,” said the yellow child. She looked up. “Please don’t be too mad, Mister General. We didn’t find it or nuthin’.”
The orange child nodded eagerly. “Yeah, we just wound up getting lost in the forest and chased by timberwolves! And that’s when you found us!”
“Please don’t suck our brains out and eat them,” the white one squeaked, looking fearfully up at the cyborg.
For his own entertainment, Grievous pretended to consider the idea, putting a hand on his mask’s “chin” and looking thoughtful. “Hmmm…” he said, drawing it out. The three children held each other tightly as they awaited his “verdict”.
“Very well, I shall spare you,” he said at last, to multiple sighs of relief. “But-”
He was interrupted by the sounds of three young ponies wrapping themselves his legs. “Thank you Mister General Grievous sir!” they chanted in a practiced-sounding unity.
Grievous, however, was more concerned with something else.
“Get off of me!”
Grievous’ group marched back through the forest, the same way that they had come, with an additional three hangers-on. To the general’s infinite annoyance, it seemed that their curiosity had very quickly surpassed their fear of him.
“Wut are those things ‘round yer middle?” asked the yellow child, whom he had learned was called Applebloom, from her perch in a commando droid’s arms. Grievous had quickly realized that it was the best way to keep them from scampering about underfoot.
“Lightsabers,” he answered, gruffly.
“Were those the cool spinning, glowy swords you used when you rescued us?” asked the one called Scootaloo.
“Yes,” he said.
“Oh…” she replied, looking down. Then she looked back up, a light in her eyes. “Can I have one?”
“No.”
“Can I hold one?”
“No.”
“Can I touch one?”
“No.”
“Can I see one?
“No!”
Scootaloo paused for a moment to think. “Do you know where I can get one?”
Grievous threw his hands up in the air. “NO! What about the word “no” do you not understand?”
The little pegasus pony shrank back into the commando droid’s black, armored chest, and for once there was quiet. Grievous breathed a sigh of relief as he was finally left alone with his thoughts and schemes.
It was not to last.
The white one, Sweetie Belle, was the one to ask the next question. “Mr. Grievous, can we fly your spaceship?”
“No,” Grievous answered.
“Oh,” she paused for thought. “Can we go for a ride in your spaceship?”
“No.”
“Can we… get in your spaceship?”
“No.”
“Can we… climb on your spaceship?”
“No.”
“Could we maybe… touch your spaceship?”
Grievous sighed.
It was going to be a long march back to Ponyville.
When Grievous and his retinue finally burst out of the Everfree Forest, he could quite honestly say that he had heard more than enough talk of cutie marks to last a lifetime. Though the concept was somewhat interesting – the creatures were assigned a role for life through a magic brand at a very young age – the endless high-pitched babbling about them had rendered the entire subject one of instinctive annoyance to him. Especially in reference to getting a cutie mark in piloting alien spaceships.
The thought of just killing the children to shut them up had occurred to Grievous, but he again dismissed it as short-term thinking. Gratifying as it would be to stab anything that annoyed him with a lightsaber, as he had done on more than one occasion in the past, it would not get off this wretched planet any faster. It could even slow down the process. Few communities took the slaughter of their offspring for petty offenses well.
Besides, once he was back in his command ship he could always have the entire nation vaporized from orbit if he wanted to. The thought made what was left of his facial muscles twitch into a smile.
Grievous hadn’t been out of the Everfree for five seconds before he heard a certain prissy voice calling on the wind.
“Sweetie Belle? Sweetie Belle? Sweetie Belle, where are you?” the voice asked. “It’s time to come home for dinner!”
Grievous recognized the sound of Rarity’s voice. She had been appropriated cowed and quiet during the brief meeting he’d endured with Twilight’s Council of Friendship, and so he liked her slightly more than the others. Not that that was saying very much.
The little white unicorn, already perky, got even more excited at the sound.
“Rarity!” she called back. “I’m over here! With Mr. Grievous!”
“Stay right there!” came the response. “I’m coming to get you!”
“Uh, will do!” Sweetie answered, before looking to her cyborg companion.
Idly, Grievous raised a hand to call the droids behind him to halt, before clasping both hands behind his back and settling in for the wait.
At the very least he was not required to stand around for long. Over the horizon, out of a nearby orchard of apple trees, came running a bright white unicorn with deep purple hair styled into a fancy coiffure. Her face was a mix of worry, anger, and exhaustion.
“There you are,” Rarity said as she ran towards the group. “Where have you – put them down, you brutes!”
Grievous nodded, and the commando droids released their three charges onto the ground as gently as purpose-built killing machines could. The three fillies rushed to the side of Rarity, who looked them over quickly.
“There, there,” she said, a look of concern on her face. “None of you are hurt, are you?’
When all three replied in the negative, Rarity’s attention went to Grievous, and her face became a mask of anger.
“You! How could you?! After we welcome you into our town and Princess Twilight lets you stay in her castle, you have the nerve to drag fillies with you into the Everfree Forest! It’s not safe in there for adult ponies, much less foals! How could you be so ungrateful?! How-”
Rarity was cut off by a small hoof tugging at her chest. “Uh, big sis?”
Rarity looked down at the fillies. “Yes, what is it?”
The three were looking down at their hooves.
“Um… Mr. Grievous didn’t drag us into the forest,” Sweetie Belle said, shamefaced.
“Yeah, we kinda… went on our own,” Applebloom added. “We just wanted ta get our cutie marks and we thought maybe finding alien spaceships was a good way ta do it.”
“Mr. Grievous had to save us,” admitted Scootaloo. “From a pack of timberwolves. And then he took us back out.”
“…Oh,” Rarity blinked, looking surprised. Her gaze shifted from the fillies to Grievous, then the fillies, and then Grievous again. “Is this true?” she asked.
Grievous nodded.
“Well then…” Rarity looked at a loss for words. “It seems I owe you any apology, general,” she bowed her head slightly, looking graceful. “For it seems I misjudged you. You have my deepest gratitude for rescuing my sister and her friends.”
Grievous grunted noncommittally.
“Yes, well then,” Rarity appeared uncomfortable. “If it’s alright with you, I shall see these fillies safely home. Their families will hear of what you did, I promise. And I will make certain that these three are appropriately disciplined for their actions,” she gave the fillies a glare, and they cringed.
Grievous once again nodded, and Rarity set off with the downcast fillies in tow.
The cyborg turned back to the way he had come. He still had work to do.
It was very late in the night when General Grievous once again stomped his way out of the Everfree Forest, his thoughts racing with what he had discovered. As he had suspected, the escape pods were relatively undamaged from the trip. Scavenging parts from some of the others would be more than sufficient to repair what little needed repairing on the pod Grievous had landed in. It should easily survive a second trip through the planet’s atmosphere.
The trick was getting it there. The jets on the escape pods were meant for maneuvering through the vacuum of space, or making a safe landing inside a planetary atmosphere. They had not been designed with getting out of one in mind. The maximum thrust the unmodified craft could attain would not be adequate to see Grievous to the planet’s moon, which left him the task of improving it with what tools he had to hand. He had resolved to return to this Princess Twilight and see what she could tell him about the local state of rocketry.
Grievous was so occupied with his thoughts that he barely noticed the village of Ponyvile go by him. He made it quickly to the crystal palace in the center of the town, throwing open the heavy door like it was made of plywood.
“SURPRISE!!!”
“GAH!”
Grievous jumped, startled out of his reverie by the sudden influx of light and noise. Instinctively, his hands grasped a pair of lightsabers and activated them, holding up the blue and green blades defensively before him. Mentally, he readied himself to slaughter everything in the room.
“Uh, surprise?!” came a much weaker sound.
Grievous blinked, lowering and then shutting down his weapons when he realized that he was not, in fact, being ambushed. As he returned the lightsabers to his belt, he realized that this was in fact some sort of celebration, apparently in his honor. At least, if the giant “Welcome to Ponyville” sign was any indication, it was.
Grievous eyes swept the room. He saw a surprising number of equines turned out for this event. Some he knew by name or sight, some he did not. There were pastries and bowls of what Grievous presumed was liquid refreshment and banners and balloons and…
Grievous blinked, startled. He looked again to be certain.
Yes, yes, there they were.
Several of his B-1 battle droids.
In party hats.
What.
This ended with a on my face. Congratulations. More please.
more droids with hats maybe?
Of course its the B1s... They are the weakest and dumbest of all the battledroids. The only good use for them is for distractions. Which actually might come in handy with the general's three new fans.
Heck yea!! B-1 Party!!!
doing good man
Oh man. The look on his face must have been priceless.
5513649
Droids with hats?
One of them has to be designated C4-R1.
The bt-1s.
Are perfect for comedy.
Love this chapter.
Grevious is gonna have a "What is this I don't even" moment next chapter XD.
Hmm, do you have a proofreader? I've noticed numerous typos and missing words. Other than that, excellent new chapter. The B-1s in party hats made me smile.
P4R-T Bot online :D
man this story is so funny and its just awesome
As annoying as the expensive sticks are, they have moments.
I do hope the B1s here get some bits fleshed out.
I mean, it'll be hilarious seeing these incompetent killing machines being convinced by Pinkie Pie to help set up the party.
You should make Discord appear. That would be awesome one!
5513830 It's going to be less hilarious for them when Grievous decides that they all just volunteered to act as spare parts for his ship and dismantles them effective immediately.
I'll be laughing of course, no doubt about it, but it's gonna suck for them.
5513910 They'll never get some rest in their perpetual butt monkey status aren't they?
Well, here's to hoping a pony'll defend them, and Grievous realizing that they're all the troops he has left.
Of course, he would dismember one of them and use him as an example of why offering a drink to a mouthless cyborg is a very rude gesture, that's for sure.
If this turns out well
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/889/458/7cd.jpg
Typical Sweetie Belle... I think...
Oh no...
5513950 To be fair, there is one fic where B1s wind up as quite the badasses: OOM-9's Revenge. A FF.Net story where OOM-9, the B1 general on Naboo who faced the Gungans, got reactivated and actually went damn far. It's a good read, I highly recommend it. It really helps fill the badass B1 niche.
? I don't even know.
Comedy is always gold and I can't wait to see what goes on here afterwards. Surprised Grievous didn't react to Rarity's anger even with just amusement or slight anger maybe even some smugness. But chapter is still good
best. chapter. EVER.
5513161 Nah, Luna got rid of it ever since "luna accepted"
perfect ending note
Just saying why has Twilight not asked about the lightsabers? i mean she saw him kill a manticore with them seems like a conversation starter to me.
What this story need is something utterly ridiculous.
Make General Grevious a Element.
Even Discord and Pinkie combined can't match that level of chaos!
Anyways, so far so awesome,
No spelling or grammatical errors.
I would also love to see Equestria's eternal(?) magic, that starts changing the droids and Grevious, possibly. Asking them organic, or at least sentient in the droids case, and in Grevious', nicer?
Or not, and you carry on with what you want.
This story is only 3 days old and it's already hot, been featured, gets more likes by the hour, and has gotten update more in 2 days then most stories do in a month. I'd say you've made quite the accomplishment
Ah, I anticipate the look on the fine General's face, when lightsabers do not work as intended on Discord. Not if. When.
Resume the party!
Grievous is going to kill Pinkie first................
Good Story!
Dear sweet mother of Celestia! I just realized a horrid possibility!
DISCORD BECOMES A JEDI!
OMG no Killing after that surprise? I'm well... Surprised indeed. As a warrior of his culture he should be honored by this. If Pinkie doesn't annoy him beyond what the CMCs did. this is the best crossover story I've ever read!
5513677 B-1's are in the house!
make him more demanding that how he is in the animated sires
5513988
I know, Battle Droids in Party Hats is a hilarious sight.
5510416 Thanks for the lore. However, in my eyes, you are not defined by your past. Your remember your past, live in the present, and prepare for the future. Who you were then is completely different from who you are now. And as such, I like stories better when they keep the character the way they currently are in whatever fiction they are in. That does not mean I will not appreciate a good story, I just won't read it. Something else I don't understand is, why is the General impressed by what the Princesses can do. Surely he has heard of the Sith Lords that were able to create life using the Force? Compared to that, these ponies are nothing.
MOOAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and maybe there will be a scene were he pry's is armor to reveal his organs.
*Grievous quadruple facepalms*
Can someone please make a picture with Grievous in a party hat?
5514506 with an extremely pissed of or bored look in is eyes
5511374
5515061
It's said in the chapter that he saves the fillies not for their sake but in hope to look better for the sole purpose of getting off of the planet.
This is one of the rare books on FimFiction that makes me check back every day for new updates.
Well done, good sir.
That ending!
Battle Droid Party!
I laughed at the last bit. God, I love the battle droids.
Its time to party!
Roger Roger
I want to see the B-1s do the robot.
5519598 or the general,
Kmon, I know you wanna see!
yea you do...
I laughed so hard at the ending
And this years award for best comedy writing goes to...
SNAKE STAFF!!!!!
5514250 NO! BAD RAZDELACROIX! NO TREAT FOR YOU!
5513707 Unless you have X-ray vision, or is content with seeing his eyes, or don't mind seeing the horror that is his actual face, then you might find it a bit difficult, I'm afraid.
:I
Pinkie......you're going to set him off with stuff like that!
5514153
Why would you wish crossover-itis on a good story like this?
If you know what I mean...