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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Aw man, I can't EVEN imagine what's going to happen next. What a Twist!
i think the story is handling the situation fine.
well...
Fan meet shit. Shit, this is fan. I'm sure you two will get along just fine.
Ooooh, yes, can't wait for more!
7348989 Thank you
7348991 *standing behind fan*
7348992 It's not that, I was just worried that people would think this was some sort of cop-out for a happy-go-lucky ending, and while the ending might be lighter than expected, I had no intention of letting Jason and the Six go lightly. Believe me. This is reality people, Ponyville is still ashes, Jason is still haunted and tortured, now with guilt added to the trauma. And these are still the same ponies who were pushed into torturing an innocent with the slightest of nudges.
What a unexpected twist!
7349001
7348988
Danke for reading!
7349007
7349022 I can't believe Discord really did this and messed the minds of the Mane 6, three years ago. I don't know how they are going to fix this or what. But, I am looking forward on what will happen next.
7348991 That reminds me of another one. "Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly."
In this case, the ponies here fucked up but the root cause was Discord. I'm sure he will get the majority of the shit distribution.
Discord you F***ed up. I like to see if you get out alive you S.O.B.
I'm meh about this. One the one hand? Yes, it's about the only way to actually explain what happens in that story in the context of the canon setting. On the other hand, though? It's still cheap and effectively devalues every point Jason made down to nothing, because none of the cast were actually responsible for their own actions. Meaning, as such, that all of this one up to this point was ultimately pointless.
So, congrats to staying true to your original vision. Too bad only that it was a stupid one.
Jason feeling actual guilt just shows what a doormat pussy-bitch he really is.
7349082
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Discord is right in that humans are hardy. Too bad the sadistic fuck didn't observe one thing:
WE ARE BUTCHERS. AND IF WE WANT SOMETHING DEAD, WE WILL FIND A WAY TO KILL IT.
High time this worthless piece of shit learns that, don't you think?
Personally I really like this twist. I don't see it as cheep and it works.
7349070 I actually like that this has taken the swerve... and am madly interested in how it'll turn out now that Jason has his fingers on the real perpetrator.
7349006 This is too far past the point of no return.
Wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
7349132
It's your good right to like it if you want to. I don't, though, and I kind of don't see the point in even reading the rest of the story now that I know none of the rest of it was of any real consequence. No doubt he'll either make up some sadistic punishment for Discord too, kill him, or go for the bait-and-switch and just let him go. It's meaningless either way.
7349070 Ehh, it's kind of a mixed bag, in my opinion.
On the one hand, sure, it is a bit of a cop out for having Discord be involved in this the way he is, but on the other hand, all he really did was subtle changes. The Mane 6 in this particular instance weren't being forced to be cruel or negligent; they still in the grand scheme of things were in control of their actions, and actively made the decisions they did of their own volition. Therefore, they aren't entirely blameless for what they ended up doing to him. Discord's manipulation of Celestia is probably the only thing I'd consider to be direct mind control, as the induced memory lapse caused unintentional and preventable neglect from the princess.
I'm willing to see where it goes from here, but it could've been executed a bit better.
7349097 What? I'm just curious as to why people would feel guilty about doing something. I can't really experience guilt anymore.
Called it.
And honestly, I'm glad it did turn out this way. Is it cheap? Yes? Does it kind of render everything up until this point moot? In a way...but personally I don't care. As I said, I'm glad it turned out this way, because it's the only way that can give the Mane 6 a chance for redemption and both parties a chance to come out of this. Any other explanation would do nothing to give the ponies' even a shot at making things right, their crimes far too horrific...but through this, they do have that chance. And honestly, despite all that's happened, I've been hoping they would.
Call it cheap and 'the easy way out', if you wish; this is the only way this story can have even a slightly happy ending for anybody.
Eeeeh... I don't really like this chapter. It seems like backtracking to just have Discord having screwed things up, as your trying to mitigate how everyone behaved. And even the reasoning behind it seems flimsy, to me at least.
Mind, I'm interested to see how you progress with things, I'm just a little disappointed.
Not quite sure how I feel about this twist. I suppose apart of me was hoping that it was truly their own discriminatory and hatred of humans that caused the Mane 6 to act the way they did. Finding out they were altered all this time, each time feels..not sure. On one hand, it feels like a cop out to me. On the other, it feels kinda brilliant. For now, I'll keep reading though since I want to know more.
7349158
They were in "in control of their own actions" in the same way someone who got drugged or had a gun held to their head was, which is to say not at all. None of it was actually done by their own volition. If they ever might have done something like this while not being externally influenced without their knowledge then we'll never know, because the story didn't even give them that chance. It's like the "it was all just a dream" of this kind of story.
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Go away, fucking internet toughguy.
Indeed. Cheap and awful twist. Within reason of Discord's magic, but still utterly forces in the situation as presented.
all right this was unexpected...
but now that i read this version it just makes me wonder...
what would happen if Jason actually succesfully killed himself in front of applejack in the original story?
(or how i like to call it, the "suicide" path, this would be the "vendetta" path, but that's not the point)
your idea is that discord was behind all.
but what would be of the story if Jason DID killed himself AND was Discord fault after all.
it could be interesting (to me) to see how THAT road would lead
7349070 you're entitled to your opinion, but in the end, isn't vengeance itself pointless? Something to consider.
Ugh, Discord...
I didn't want to think it was Discord, since however much he may act like it Discord is no fool, but the way you were building it up made it so the only way left was to blame him. The problem here is the problem I expressed before: the way this is written absolves the ponies's of blame. Discord forced them into it, even if he was subtle about it, instead of giving them the tiniest of nudges to bring out their worst traits.
That's why the Luna Hypnosis hypothesis had so much weight behind it: she couldn't make the ponies do anything they weren't willing to do in the first place. Discord can with ease, and there's no dialogue here showing that he didn't. Like wlam said, it cheapens the plot. I'll wait and see if you somehow manage to salvage it, since I have a tendency to correct mistakes on the fly when I write, but you've got your work cut out for you.
7349177 Probably not akin to the gun one, but it is akin to forced drugging and then blaming them for being hateful when the medicine itself makes them monstrous and hateful.
Essentially, everyone suffered not because of their own actions but because of discord.
*pats Discord on the back*
Buddy, it's been nice knowing ya. But, even though it's cliche, you're in for a bad time I, for one, want no part of.
*removes hand, hastily moves behind available cover*
7349204 After reading this, I suppose that this particular analogy is fair.
At any rate, we'll just have to see where the story goes from here.
7349177 I warned him about this a few chapters ago, and while I can of see how he tried to work around the issue, he didn't quite succeed. Maybe if the main cast had installed mental shields to protect themselves against attack, forcing Discord to give them only suggestions instead of commands it would have worked, but Discord is canonically too powerful to properly take this route.
Bloody cliffhangers.....
7349196
That may, in a philosophical sense, be true, but it can still have meaning to a: the person perpetrating it by what they feel is punishing the guilty and b: the story, by having something important happen in a dramatically appropriate way. The way you had this turn out makes it so that it can really have neither. This is basically a shaggy dog story now.
7349231
There is no real qualitative difference, anyway. Suggestions you can't resist are commands, period. The alternative is basically no different from letting yourself be influenced by gossip and propaganda, which everyone would be responsible for on their own merit, but which clearly isn't what happened here.
7349204
Pretty much.
Ok no.
This just got officially untracked. You turned Discord into the villain, continued to try to make Jason's actions justifiable, and then to top it off, rendered the one being who could actually help put all this into such a nerf that it makes 'keep calm and flutter on' look halfway believable.
Sorry, this thing is no longer worth following.
7349258 Exactly. They had to be able to choose acceptance over rejection or it doesn't work. Otherwise they're just unwitting pawns, and any vengeance dealt out against them is both undeserved and unsatisfying.
7349297
Which is really the problem this story suffers from now. It makes any vicarious vindication that the readers may have felt on Jason's behalf up to this point feel ever so hollow.
Welp............discord is fucked with a capital PH
7349173 Discord did express confusion of just how easy it was to manipulate them on the matter.
The impression I got is that all the ignorant bigotry they were acting on was their own, and all Discord did was numb their inhibitions and quieted the little momentary voice of reason that stops them form usually taking things this far
Imagine what would have happened if that same spell was cast during some of the episodes of the show, how far those situations would go- the age old example of zecora comes to mind, or the want it need it spell. Imagine how those would have turned out if the ponies were under this same spell.
It usually takes a third party or obscure situation to prove to them that their positions / fears / prestigious are unfounded. Discord just made sure that, that didn't happen in this case. He didn't start the fire, he made sure it kept burning because he wanted to smell the smoke (in this case the chaos)
That's my take on it anyway.
7349258 Again, that's your opinion, and you're more than welcome to it. I am of the belief that vengeance only perpetuates the cycle of violence, and while momentarily fulfilling, can only continue into a spiraling decay of tragedy. And I don't see a tragedy tag up there, do you? Because that is literally the only other way this story could end.
7349287 Again, your opinion, more than welcome to it, but before you leave, I must know: why are you still here?
7349389
I see a Dark tag, though, and vengeance for endured suffering, while satisfying in the moment, is plenty dark alright.
Besides, I'm not criticizing your opinion on revenge. I'm criticizing your writing. If it had been apparent from the beginning that you were trying to make this point, I'd be applauding right now instead. It wasn't and still isn't, though. That it clashes with the major theme of the rest of the story is the problem. What you're doing right now, apparently almost at the end of it, is an afterthought to what the story actually was about while it was happening.
And "it's your opinion and you're entitled to it" is not some "get out of criticism free" card, by the way.
7349302 However, we must not forget that Jason was also under the influence of something, something that doesn't seem to be Discord. There might be another player in this game.
7349344
Ahh Zecora.. That one, singular moment everyone seems to bring up that Ponies are racist/specieist towards Zebra's/not ponies... Despite the facts that she lived in what amounted to a place of Terror, filled with monsters that tend to attack ponies, or could potentially kill them. While looking dark, mysterious, and never explaining herself to anyone, and the whole glowing eyes bit at the time. All the while that being the only moment in show like this, since they don't seem to fear gryphons, yaks, or other such odd species like this, or hate them.
I see no way for this to end without Discord being killed or at least permanently maimed.
Really disappointed with this.
In my mind I was thinking, "damn this all seems to point towards Discord....but I'm sure that the author wouldn't make the whole story completely hollow and pointless by doing something THAT stupid!"..........it seems that my expectations for the author were far too high.
How sad.
7349407 I'm not trying to dodge it at all, I'm just saying that's not the way I view it.
7349492
Which, I suppose, is an opinion you're entitled to having. I just don't see what it has to do with anything.