It’s a beautiful day in Ponyville, the sun is shining, and the weather is perfect. Thanks in no small part to the efforts of you and your weather team, the day couldn’t be any better. You’re sitting on a cloud, watching the sun as it starts to go down. Only one thing missing... Somepony to share it with. Somepony that’s not... Pinkie. Last time you tried to spend an entire day alone with her, things got kinda weird pretty fast. Needless to say, you were cursing Twilight and her cloud walking spell for weeks. Stupid mare to stallion ratio, making ponies act all weird.
After a few minutes of soaking up some afternoon sun, you decide to head to Sugarcube Corner for a bit of chow. After all, a pony works up a big appetite when they’ve been plowing cumulonimbus (the cloud, not the stallion) all morning. You drop through the fluffy clouds and fly over to town square, taking in the scenery along the way. Really, you do love this place, even though there aren’t enough stallions to go around. You’d think a hot young filly such as yourself would be able to find a coltfriend no problem, but for some reason, all the stallions are too chicken to even talk to you. What’s up with that? Well, except Big Mac, but he doesn’t count. Sometimes you think the only reason he talks to you at all is so you don’t tell AJ about that time you saw him and Braeburn… Yeah, that was awkward.
But, no matter, you’re at Sugarcube Corner now. Time to order up some grub!
“Hey Mr. Cake, where’s Pinks?”
“Oh, she’s taking care of the twins for us while my wife works on a huge order of squash soup. All the local business-stallions just love it; hers is the best in town, after all.”
“Oh, cool. You think you could make some of your special filled eclairs for me?”
“Of course, Miss Dash, but it’ll take a while to whip up a load of cream, I already emptied my sack into the last batch. And I’m sure I’ll have to clean up a bit first; Cup is always so sloppy with her soup… Give me about twenty minutes.”
Well, crap. Twenty minutes is a long time, but you can wait. Totally worth it for some of Carrot Cake’s hot, sticky, cream filling. You hoof over the bits and walk outside to enjoy the sunshine, sitting down on an empty bench in the middle of town square. It’s nice in Ponyville, it really is… But, you still wish you could just find a stallion. It’s been so long since you had any male attention.
”Hey Rainbow Dash, mind if I sit here?”
“Oh, hey Anon… Um, sure, I guess.”
He sits down next to you, taking up the larger share of the bench. Anon’s been in town for a few months now, and he’s had a bit of a hard time fitting in. Most ponies don’t know what to think about him, he’s just so different. There are some rumors going around that he’s totally weird, but you don’t really get that vibe. Thinking about it, Anon has always been really nice to you. You’ve seen him around a lot, though you’ve not hung out together very much. Every time you see him, he’s always really nice and asks you about your day. You don’t see what everypony is so worried about; Anon is perfectly fine.
“Wow Rainbow Dash, it sure is beautiful today. You weather ponies did a great job! It always amazes me to watch pegasi manipulate the weather.”
He scoots a little bit closer to you, looking thoughtfully at your wings
“Those wings are just so cool. It must feel amazing to fly.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. Flying is the most amazing thing ever!”
“You know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have wings... Can I?”
He reaches out and runs his hand down the crest of your wing. Your breath hitches and you gasp. You’re shocked. He didn’t just do that, right? And it didn’t feel amazing, either. Not at all.
“A-Anon…”
You glance up at him, noticing his distant look and gentle smile as he continues to stroke your wing, slowly trailing his fingers through your ruffled feathers.
“I wish I could fly… So many humans have dreamed about it, but the closest we could possibly get was building flying machines. Nowhere close to the same, I’m sure. How does it feel to have wings? Do they have the same sense of touch as your hooves?”
“Y-yeah, they’re just about the same,” you croak out nervously. It’s so wrong for you to let him do this, but for some reason, you just can’t tell him to stop.
“Your feathers are so soft… Do you use some kind of special conditioner? How do you even clean them? Is there some kind of special wing brush that you use?”
Your wings are rising on their own accord, which only encourages him to keep going. It’s obvious Anon is totally oblivious; he has no idea what he’s actually doing. Coming up with a reasonable response is no easy task. It doesn’t help that you’re almost completely lost in the moment. Fortunately, his hand paused long enough to bring you back to reality. “Well, we usually use our mouths to groom our wings… It’s kind of a personal thing, really.”
Anon looks at you apprehensively, and for a moment, pulls his hand away from your wing. Now’s your chance, all you have to do is let him take the hint and stop… But all you can manage to do is move closer and press your wing into his hand.
What is wrong with me!?
Anon’s warm smile returns once again, and he continues, gently stroking your wing and massaging the muscles. Slowly, he moves closer to the base of the wing, inadvertently stimulating you in all the right places. By this point, your wings are completely stiff and you’re blushing furiously.
Luna’s teats, his hands feel amazing! How is this even happening? Why am I letting him do this?
You lean into him and let out a gentle hum. It feels so good, and you’ve not had anypony groom your wings in so long…
H-he wouldn’t mind. He doesn’t even know. It’s not a big deal...
“You know, I really do miss home, but it’s nice to have an awesome pony like you to hang out with. I… don’t really have many friends here in Ponyville.” He pauses for a moment and looks down at you, then gently brushes a lock of hair from your face. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. Life here in Equestria is not so bad with ponies like you around. The way you defy gravity and physics, holding the weather at your command... It’s one of the most awe-inspiring and beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”
“Anon…” You look into his eyes and smile. It’s hard not to feel good about a compliment like that. Comfortable silence falls between you for a few moments, him lightly teasing your forelock behind your ear, you sighing contentedly at his doting attention, gently brushing your wingtips along his back; the moment is perfect…
Until you look up and notice the small crowd at Sugarcube Corner sneaking glances at you and Anon. Listening closely, you can just barely hear them snickering and whispering amongst themselves. Meanwhile, Anon continues absentmindedly stroking your mane. All you can think about is all the ponies looking at you. All of them… all staring at you. Judging you.
They know… They know! What is wrong with me? How could I trick Him into doing that... In public! This is bad. This is bad!
Panic starts to take its hold on you, an infinite number of negative outcomes begin to rush through your mind.
What will they say? What will they think? My reputation is ruined! I can’t do this, I gotta get out of here!
In a moment of extreme willpower, you manage to retract your wings back to your sides, then push away from him forcefully.
“Uh, I-I gottagonow. Bye!”
“Wait, Rainbow Dash! What’s wrong?”
In an attempt to escape with some shred of dignity, you blast off, leaving a very confused Anon and a rainbow-colored streak in your wake. After a few minutes of flight to help clear your head, you climb as high as you can go, finding a nice, private cloud to rest on, far away from prying eyes. The events of the day keep running through your mind. The only action you’ve had in months, and he didn’t even know he was doing it. You sigh, imagining that hand running through your wings. Anon’s hand. Stupid Anon. You check your surroundings one last time, then sink a bit deeper into the cloud.
Twenty minutes is plenty of time…
this look fun.
You get a cute pony for your work.
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5399033
Thanks! It's silly, I know, but it was a good bit of fun to write. I'll have the Fluttershy version posted up pretty soon, maybe within the next couple of days.
This. This needs to be a thing.
The real question is, can you find other things to build the next chapters on
Totally getting a "xenophilia" from this and i need more
Right, so Pegasi it's their wings & Unicorns it's probably their horns, but what about Earth Ponies?
Can't be their legs or hooves, otherwise Applejack'd be a masochist.
5403049
What about the frogs in their hooves? The soft tissue might be really sensitive, like our toes & fingers.
5403049 ears man... it's all about the ears
5403481
I would have to agree
I like this chapter a lot. The theme here has been done many times before, and while I'm not find of using "Anon" as a name, the scene itself is very well done. Even all the innuendos that went into that order... That was pretty uncomfortable to read...
I do think that last line is detrimental though. The implication of what dash was going to do as she sank further into the cloud is plenty. Spelling it out like that feels crude and cheapens the rest of the scene.
I despise the actual use of "Anon" as a character's name. It infuriates me.
Having said that, this was otherwise not a bad chapter, even if the innuendo was so obvious it caused pain on impact.
Please tell me somebody else caught this.
5404752
I don't like Anon either -- but ever since the Stanley Parable, I have substituted Stanley for Anon wherever I see it. It tends to help.
5405101
I did. I was caught between an epic facepalming or laughing. I did both.
Hands brings all the mares around to my backyard.
Shame on you, Rainbow Dash! You have to tell the poor guy!
5405239
I used Anthony Maus.
5405101
You're a fucking idiot.
I lel'd, but you should lose the last line. Kinda breaks the whole story.
Wow, that is not at all how I expected that to go! Where is the curb-stomping and the battered and baffled 'Was it something I said?"
...Ded Time Lord.
my sides
5404752
I agree.
When the characters have proper names they are infinitely easier to picture and sympathize with.
Nice reference to my favourite song.
You sir, have my attention. and please do continue
I swear in the name of everything that's holy that I read that without a droplet of innuendo. I got it, but I just brushed it off and took the words at face value.
Dummy Dash, go for the stiff monkey Delta!
5405239 That's a nice one! I'd shamelessly rip you off on that, but the Anon name has kinda grown on me as long as the word Anonymous isn't used.
Listen to this and read the first chapter, it has perfect timing with everything that happens.
5413178 It took me a minute to realize that there was a "Mrs. Cake is the town slut" joke in there.
who knew punching clouds could be so noisy...
5403253
Mane-stroking, ear-scratching and, yes, the frogs are very ticklish. Also, for Pegasi, massaging the wing joints.
Don't these ponies live in the same town as Pinkie Pie?
5734409 Then that must be saying something.
Gah! Mr. Cake's phrasing-boom.
Aside from that. Great start. First you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! This is Loyalty lyrics twisted into a paragraph! You brilliant bastard!
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/2727748211/c3d0981ae770f926eedf4eda7505b006.jpeg
5405101 I didn't get that until YOU put that image in my head.
6615119 your innocent ways are long gone now
5405101 im just trying to figure out if it's more than a metaphor...
5413178 Beta, stop fapping in the corner! That is not what they meant!
I see what you did
Must keep straight face
Must not let my inner pervert come out.
Ignore the boner from all the blatant innuendo
Damn that was good lol
My reaction going through this.
"The description seems fun enough, let's read."
"Ha"
"Huh, that... Seems oddly familiar..."
"That also seems oddly familiar."
"... Hold up a minute here..."
"... No way... Have I?..."
"Oh my god... Oh. My. God...
I've finally found it!! YES!! OH HO HO YES!!! Oh how I missed this story!"
I have been searching for this story for a long time. The last chapter I remember was with Fluttershy and the salted caramel and I've been trying to find this story for so fucking long. I typed everything I could remember in Google and nothing came up. Holy yay I'm so happy I found this story again. I haven't even read the Applejack chapter yet. Let's get to readin' once more!
...How on Earth did I miss all of the blatant innuendo the first time through? I just read it normally!