The Ponyville hospital was slowly recovering.
It had been four days since Ponyville’s latest disaster, and for two of them the Hospital had been a blur of activity. With several guards, Andrew, and Princess Luna all in critical condition, and with the six elements of Harmony battered and bruised, the small town hospital had to call in doctors from Canterlot to assist with the sudden increase in patients, and keep up with the regular day to day. Now, four days later, with the critical patients finally stable, the on loan doctors gone, and the elements discharged, the hospital was slowly resuming its normal pace, not including the frenzy that occurred during the frequent visits from Princess Celestia.
“How is she?” She asked one of the nurses assigned to Luna. “Any change?”
Luna lay unconscious on the hospital bed, her face bandaged. She breathed steadily, the blanket that covered her rising and falling to match. The morning sun cast shadows in her room, slowly lighting up the room.
“She is still stable Your Highness.” The mare answered nervously. “Princess Luna is beginning to slowly recover from almost complete magical exhaustion. Mana scans show that she may wake up in a day or so. Her other injuries are healing on course with the information we received from her personal doctor in Canterlot. Would you like me to get the doctor? He could do another scan now for you…?”
“No, that’s alright.” Princess Celestia responded, shaking her head as she watched her sister breathe slowly in her bed. “Thank you my little pony. If there is any change I will be in Andrew’s room. I believe Twilight is waiting for me.”
The nurse nodded, turning back to Luna’s bed. Princess Celestia left the room slowly, pausing to look back at her sister before entering the hall. She crossed it, heading to a nearby room on the other side, pushing the door open. Inside lay Andrew, Twilight Sparkle sitting on a chair in the corner. The unicorn turned to the door as Princess Celestia entered past the assigned nurse, her eyes lighting up as she saw her mentor.
“Princess Celestia!” She greeted, her eyes lighting up. “I’m glad you’re here, I have so many-“
“Questions, I know my student.” She finished with a small smile, walking further into the room. “I’m sorry if I have kept you waiting.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” Twilight assured her mentor. “I know you must be busy with everything that’s happened.”
“Indeed I have been.” Princess Celestia agreed, before turning her head towards the door. “Nurse? Could I have an update on Mr. Dike?”
“Of course Your Highness!” The nurse said, rushing to the princess’s side. “Mr. Dike is still in a coma, with no signs of when he will wake up. His injuries are set and bandaged, including his seven broken ribs, the small hairline fractures in his left femur and another hairline fracture on his right tibia. His muscles are slowly healing, including the torn ones that we repaired yesterday.”
“What about the burns on his chest?” Twilight asked meekly. “are they okay?
“Well the burns on his chest show no signs of infection, and should heal fine. However, those burns, as well as those on his stomach are magical in nature, so the scarring will most likely be permanent.”
“Oh, okay.” Twilight nodded sadly. “Thank you.”
The nurse nodded and turned back to Princess Celestia, who nodded in return.
“Thank you nurse. If you don’t mind I would like a private word with my student.” She explained. “We will alert you if there is any change.”
“Of course Your Highness.”
The nurse turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. Once it had clicked shut, Princess Celestia turned, her eyes back on Twilight.
“Before I begin, are you sure none of your friends would like to hear this as well?”
“Applejack might want to.” She admitted. “But I can explain it to her later. Rarity and Pinkie Pie are still at home recovering, Rainbow Dash is to cool to admit she is curious and Fluttershy doesn’t really know how to behave around Andrew right now.”
“Very well.” The princess agreed with a nod. “Then before I begin…”
Princess Celestia’s horn glowed, a golden mist expanding from the tip. It flowed out to all four corners of the room, sinking into the walls, windows and door. When she was finished, she sat slowly into the only other chair in the room.
“Was that a muffling spell?” Twilight asked.
“Indeed it was, I’m impressed, though not surprised you recognize it.” The alicorn said with a small smile. “What I am about to tell it is one of Equestria’s best kept secrets, one that has stood for hundreds of years. I need you to promise me that, besides the other elements, you will not whisper a word to anyone.”
“Of course Princess, I would never betray you.”
“I know my precious student, but revealing this secret is not just about my trust. I had to ask many others to trust you and your friends as well.”
“Others?”
“Indeed.” The princess responded simply, watching her student closely before beginning again. “Twilight, what do you know about the Holy Blood theory?”
“It’s an old crackpot theory, spearheaded by Nickle Tesla…” She answered, looking confused. “The All-Mother gifted ponies with great gifts and talents…Why?”
“Well, to put it plainly my student, he wasn’t entirely wrong.”
“But… You always told me he was crazy, that he was a kooky old stallion who liked being right even if it meant bending the truth.”
“And for the most part that is true. He was an ornery pony, and had a habit of taking maybe for yes and no for a cover up.” The white alicorn explained with an annoyed look as she remembered a long passed thorn in her side. “But Holy blood, or the All-Mothers Children, as we liked to be called, absolutely exist.”
“We?” she asked, her mouth dropping open at her mentors last line.
“Yes. But perhaps I should start from the beginning?” She asked, starting again when Twilight nodded. “A very long time ago, before I was born, before ponies even existed, there were only dragons. They lived at peace with the world, living to exuberant ages before passing on, becoming the bones of what have since then become the world’s largest mountains. But as you know, dragon magic can be almost as wild as untamed magic.”
Celestia paused now, standing from her seat and walking to the window. She looked out it, watching her little ponies walk along the paths that ran from the hospital back to town, before beginning again.
“Over time, it became clear that many dragons feared passing on. Their greed for riches, the will to live was too strong. Many dragons strong in magic lived thousands of years longer than they were meant to, their wild dragon magic answering there deepest desire. To live forever.”
“Forever?” Twilight asked. “They were immortal?”
“It certainly seemed that way.” Princess Celestia answered. “But such prolonged life was dangerous. Souls are meant to pass on into the ether, keeping them here can twist them, foul even the purest of intentions. They tilted the balance, and the All Mother saw this. She knew she needed to do something, but she wasn’t sure what. She detests interfering directly, as she values our free will over all else. So, instead of fixing the problem, she chose two dragons and gave them the power to fix it themselves. The first of the All-Mothers Children.”
“What kind of powers did they have?”
“The powers of Life and Death. Death was charged with ensuring that unnatural magic did not end the lives of innocent dragons before their time, while Life was tasked with making sure that powerful dragons did not greedily hoard more life then they were given.”
“Life… And Death?”
“A daunting concept, I understand.” The alicorn agreed with Twilights unspoken question. “One that I found quite scary when I was first introduced to it.”
“Have… Have you met them?” Twilight asked, her mind still reeling.
“I have visited where they sleep. They entered a deep slumber long before I was born.” She answered, turning to once again look at her student. “Not entirely uncommon for some of my older brothers and sisters. But they are still alive, and if they were needed they would wake.”
“Oh.” Twilight nodded, slowly processing what she was learning.
“Should I continue my faithful student?” The princess asked. “I’m afraid this is only one part of the story.”
Twilight nodded quickly, reeling but eager to learn more. She mentally kicked herself for leaving her notebook and quills at home.
“Eventually, The All-Mother began to create again, breathing life into a world previously only inhabited by dragons. I know you know the story, I remember assigning an essay to you about it.”
“Yes Princess, the story of creation. She created the wildlife of the world, filled it with beautiful nature. She saw the world and was sad that no pony was enjoying it with her, so she created the three pony tribes, gryphons, the Zebras and all other sentient creatures.”
“Very good, and all exactly right. She created us to enjoy the paradise she had created, wanting to share in the wonder with us.” She agreed, explaining further. “But with each species came new problems. Once again magic was being twisted by emotions, doing things that where unnatural, throwing off the harmony of the world. So once again she chose among the sentient creatures her Children, giving them small portions of her power so that they might solve the problems themselves.”
“Portions of her power?”
“The powers of a goddess.” The alicorn explained. “Incredibly small fractions of her power, put pieces all the same.”
“D-did it work?”
“All in all, yes. There were hiccups, and catastrophes, but overall yes.” The princess answered. “Though you must understand, my sister and I are at large, exceptions. The vast majority of us are only needed once every dozen or so years, to rebalance smaller accidents.”
“So, you being in charge of the sun, and Princess Luna being in charge of the moon was…?”
“A responsibility given to us by the All-Mother.” The princess responded, nodding her head. “It took a very long time to get used to.”
“I can’t imagine…” Twilight murmured. “Are all… Children of the All-Mother as powerful as you and Princess Luna?”
“It depends on how you define powerful. The powers and responsibilities given to us vary greatly from pair to pair.”
“Pair to pair?”
“Yes, each Child is created in pairs, to maintain balance and harmony. I was getting to that.”
“Sorry.” Twilight squeaked, blushing. “I’ll be quiet.”
“Don’t worry Twilight Sparkle, I know you just can’t help but be curious.” The princess explained with an affectionate smile. “Each Child is part of a pair, two halves of a whole. Opposites that keep the balance, keep the other in check. Luna is my opposite. When the world is thrown off balance by greed, by magic or by sheer accident, the Children responsible for that balance steps forward and restores harmony.”
“Why… Why is this a secret?”
“Because despite being bestowed with an immense responsibility, many of my brothers and sisters are simple ponies, who only wish to live their lives in peace. Imagine if the whole world knew you were capable of sending a pony back, or even forward in time, with no side effects or limits. Would you ever get a moment of peace?”
“I-is that possible?” Twilight's eyes widened at the mention of time travel. “I mean…”
There was a slight twinkle in Princess Celestia’s eye as she smiled at her student. She walked to her, and patted her back with her wing.
“I won’t say anything to that, though I will say that a very close friend of mine may or may not have been cursing your name not too long ago, I believe it was around a Tuesday?”
Twilight bit her lip and nervously looked away, trying her best not to look guilty but failing.
“It’s alright my student. My friend assures me no harm was done, though I should suggest you try your best to forget that particular spell.”
Twilight nodded, embarrassed but reassured by her mentor. Eventually the lavender pony met her gaze again.
“How many are there?” She asked.
“There are a dozen or so pairs awake.” Princess Celestia answered. “it has been awhile since our ranks have grown.”
“Grown… you mean Andrew is…” Twilight asked, clearly not believing what she was being told. “But he isn’t even from here.”
“I won’t pretend to understand how the All-Mother chooses her children, only that she does.” The motherly alicorn explained. “And she chose him.”
“So that’s it? He is destined to be a… a child of the All-Mother?”
“Someday, yes.” Princess Celestia answered again, this time holding up her hoof, Twilight shutting her mouth before her next question could come out. “Perhaps I could explain further?”
Twilight nodded abashedly, sitting back in her chair, her lips pressed tightly together as if to hold her questions inside herself with pure force. Princess Celestia nodded back to her student before beginning again.
“When a Child is chosen it happens immediately. They carry the spark of divinity, a piece of the All-Mother inside them. But it has yet to turn into a flame.” She explained, beginning to pace. “This process takes decades. Their body changes slowly, over time until they are ready to inherit their gift, their responsibility. From then they are taught how to utilize their gifts, the rules it dictates and how to resist the temptations it will offer. By this time the flame has been born, and they become full-fledged Children. Andrew manage to skip all of those stages, and now he is paying the price.”
Princess Celestia walked to Andrew’s bed, using her magic to adjust his pillow slightly before turning back to her student.
“The runes on his chest, the ones you burned off, they were called Tiwaz. He bears it on his cutie mark.” Celestia paused. “Once, it represents justice. Repeated twice, at the angle he carved them, they invoke something different.”
“What?” Twilight asked softly.
“Punishment. The pulling down of the scales, to even them until harmony of justice is reached. That is what Andrews charge will someday be.” She answered. “And it’s what nearly killed him, it’s why he is in this coma. His body, soul and mind was not ready for that power, will not be ready for many, many years. The flame of full blown divinity burned through all three, mind body and soul, every second that he possessed it. The runes that you burned held onto the flame, if you had not destroyed them he would not have survived.”
“What’s going to happen to him?” Twilight asked, after a long pause.
“Well, eventually he will wake up. He will be weak and confused, and most likely angry for being lied to, mostly by me. Given time, he will recover to his full strength. And then he will pass that. Over the next thirty or so years he will get stronger and stronger. Someday he will be ready to bear his gift, but for now he is only Andrew, Ponyville’s human.”
A silence stretched over the two, both of them watching the humans slow quiet breathing. Eventually Princesses Celestia looked away, to her student, watching her instead.
“Why was he so different? The lavender unicorn asked finally. “He was so cold, and brutal. I-I’m not sure that Trixie her deserved punishment either…not after what she has been through.”
“I think there is a very large chance that Andrew will agree with both of those statements.”
“Then why did he do it? Why was he like that?”
“I can’t know for certain.” The alicorn answered. “But my guess it has to do with his sudden introduction to his power. I was not joking when I said there was a temptation involved. Each pair has rules, each pair has different twists and guides, different responsibilities and gifts. But they all share a want, a need to fulfill their jobs. Andrew just wasn’t ready to deny punishment to somepony, even if they had suffered enough at someone else’s hand. In all truth, we are lucky he resisted the urge to punish the whole town of every misdeed and law its citizens have broken.”
Silence once again ruled the room, the two mares sitting together, both of them watching Andrew’s bandaged face. Eventually Princess Celestia stood, her wings rustling before tucking themselves back into place.
“I know this is a lot to take in my faithful student.” She said sympathetically, pausing a while before starting again. “I need to tend to some things around Ponyville before I return to Canterlot for the rest of the day. We can meet again, in your library before I return home. Beyond that, if you have more questions, feel free to send me a message through Spike, I will write back as soon as I can.”
Twilight nodded mutely, her eyes not moving of her friend. The Princess walked past her, hoof on the door handle when Twilight spoke again.
“Andrew… Who is his partner?”
Princess Celestia turned back to face her student, a sad look in her eyes.
“We don’t know. We have been looking but so far… we have found none. It should have been someone close, a few of us think that it was meant to be his sister. But we don’t know where she is.”
“Alice? Is she here? In Equestria?”
“If she is… we haven’t been able to find her.”
Twilight nodded, turning her head back to Andrew. Princess Celestia gave one final, long look at her student, before opening the door and leaving the room.
Well, I knew the Holy Blood thing was going to come back sooner or later, but I definitely didn't expect it to come back in such a manner. Very well thought out, and interested to find out Andrew's other half of his whole is going to be
So if Andrew is Justice and Punishment, I take it Alice will be Mercy and Final/Last Mercy. One being an embodiment of forgiveness, the other being the act of killing to end suffering and/or for the greater good
Huh.
Well, great.
I wonder if Discord is one of these Children?
While Harmony is his partner...
Interesting concept so far. Definitely curious as to where this will go.
My main question is, did you plan this from the beginning or did you come up with it more recently?
More answers to create more questions.
We're these dragons made of stone, did the children start throwing Spears that may or may not have been made from sunlight at said dragons, do the all mother create "happing" because she was board?
7151823 So are you making an assumption that harmony has crystallized itself into the tree of harmony during her/his slumber and basically birthed the Elements from it?
7151906
...Yes.
7151911 Good so I'm not crazy for assuming that after your explanation.
I really don't like the direction this story is going anymore.
Hoard life? "You're living longer than I want you to, so you die now," all in the name of some nebulous natural order, more like. This is the kind of arrogant autocracy that breeds Lucifers.
7151912
Well, I mean, all this is kinda crazy to begin with.
I also don't see why the Spirit of Harmony and Chaos can't be on opposite sides of the influence scale.
Harmony is ethereal, fulfilling it's role of Spirit properly, while (possibly) permanently sealed inside a crystalline form.
Petrified to one spot by choice. (As far as we know.)
While Harmony is Passive, Discord is Active.
Discord is a spirit, yes, but also has a more physical form, for a given value of "physical".
His influence is more direct. It shows in how he operates, AND in how he's defeated.
Since he's more "solid" than his "sister", being petrified like her would be detrimental to him.
He's chaos, disharmony, and complication.
A true gray area. What more ironic yet effective way to stop him, than turning him gray, or to stone?
Anyway, this is why I think Harmony would be defeated if the Tree were to shatter.
She'd be ethereal and free from her roots, and vulnerable, since she'd be a giant mass of pure powerful magic.
She'd be similar to Discord in a sense, an active being now directly affecting the world simply by being free.
As well as without protection.
If any of that makes sense...
7151925 Yes, I can see that and it does make sense. Although now I'm debating with myself about some stuff with them both trying to keep Harmony so why would there be a force of harmony and chaos? Unless of course Discord is an opposing force to the All-Mother.
7151939
Harmony/Disharmony
Balance/Unbalance
Order/Chaos
The Tree represents a solid creation of order, spreading it's branches and influence into all things.
Discord is more fluid, and free to act than the passive masterminding Harmony acts as.
Although a better name for her would be Hourglass rather than Harmony, as she is the inevitable while Discord is the delaying of such.
7151943 Yeah, I completely understand but it just seems like something redundant in the system.
7151951
*shrug*
beats me
7151957 I mean seriously unless he is an opposing force it's like making a weight that always varies on one side of the scale and then putting another weight on the other side that will always counteract it.
7151961
Well, perhaps it's because it's not always Discord?
Let's see, we've had multiple things counteracting (delaying) Harmony/Hourglass, including but not limited to:
Friendship Problems, Nightmare Moon, more Friendship Problems, Discord, Friendship Problems, an entire
cityempire appearing out of nowhere, Friendship Problems, Sombra, Chrysalis, the Changelings, Friendship Problems, the Plundervines, Tirek, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer... did I mention Friendship Problems?So we got Life and Death
Night and Day
Chaos and Harmony (I assume)
Punishment and (Imma guess) Mercy
What's Time's opposite? Space?
So that means they're gonna revoke Trixie's unjust punishment, right?
7151967
WE COULD PULL OUT THE HOMESTUCK ASPECTS AT THIS POINT.
40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maw4gokNZy1r25nnno1_400.png
...but I digress.
I think everything will smooth over once this phase of exposition has been processed enough.
7151965 Possibly with all this showing up she just said "well their gonna need a little Extra Harmony." all things that may or may not be explained at a later date that I can't wait to find out.
7151973
ye
same here
7151967 Mercy could also be forgiveness. That is what I thought of instantly when his counter part was mentioned.
7151978
Means similar things.
Meanwhile, I'ma just think of alliterative tags for this stuff.
Like Causality Complicator for Discord.
EDIT: bcuz im tired
7151972 I don't read Homestuck, but that chart is interesting.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/elgoonishshive/images/b/b0/Mr.Verres.gif/revision/latest?cb=20091211204411
With the lore so far, I don't doubt that there will be plenty of exposition
7151982 While similar I take forgiveness a different way of instead of just outright abolishing them of their sins you forgive them and they try to pay the price themselves in a way they deem fit.
7151983
WITHOUT A DOUBT.
I also can't help but compare some of this to Homestuck, considering it suddenly showed plot development in a very familiar way.
(God dammit, Hussie.)
7151985
Like repentance, atonement, penance, forgiveness, grace, and mercy, all being different words with functionally similar meaning, but apart in execution?
7151991
7151986
aaaand im off
i'll check this story again tomorrow, with a rested mind
maybe i'll think of something else to add here
Perhaps no one were around to catch Alice. Celestia can't find her because she went splat across a mountainside back in the first chapter.
ok first I do not ever read comments posted as I prefer to make my own honest comments.
ok this story is turning a bit to the dark side but at the same time it works.
as the fact that I love mystery story's I can see past ware a story is at and I have a feeling this story is going to be getting darker way darker before the dawn but at the same time this is going to be needed to make this all work.
I see a few possible way this can go and I must say I like theme all.
all in all I must say exultant work Gilded Tome.
about your AU, I think you should do what you want. I didn't mind the change in tone, I think it's interesting XD
But yeah, writing a story is hard. Follow your heart and don't let your original idea shatter because of comments ^.^
Damn heavy price on Andrew
Yeah this story has gone really down hill now, you had such a good story before all this crap started happening. I really wish you had just kept on with that but instead you made your OC totally a Gary Stu that is basically part god, what the hell were you thinking? That's one of the WORST things you can do with a character. It bad enough you have certain really bad tropes in this story like with his every time he tries something with his powers he always ends up hurt and usually in the hospital but now all this crap?
Sorry I just don't buy any of this, this story would have been so much better if you had just had the elements of harmony work against Nightmare and just continue on with the story from that point on. All of this is really just overblown and you really have no sense of how not to go overboard with stuff. I'm actually kind of pissed off with how such a nice story turned out like this.
This story is beyond saving now unless there is a rewrite of the last few chapters, which I don't think you'll do as it seems you've just ignored everyone's criticisms (taking the Micheal Bay route it seems) and instead of fixing the story you just kept it going and ruined it all. All that hard work put into this and this is what you do with it? Since this story is going to change for the better I guess I'll get off here and change my thumbs up of the story to a thumbs down.
Anyone else that leaves I hope they do the same if only to accurately show how many were displeased with the way the story has gone. Not unless you make an alternate version of this story where none of this crap happens I don't think I'll even be reading anything else of yours although honestly by this point I'm not sure you'll ever finish this story. This story had all the hallmarkings of a fic gone bad that usually never gets finished. I've seen this time and again and honestly I doubt this story will ever be completed for various reasons. It's the same pattern I've seen too many times, maybe I'm wrong but I don't feel it. Usually when things get this dark the authors have a tendency to loose their enthusiasm for a the story. One being that their OC gets so over powered that everything is just 'easy mode' for them like this fight with Nightmare and what he did is proof of that.
When there is no threat to the OC and when nothing can hurt him or when you know nothing bad will happen to that character the story loses a lot of steam as any attempt of trying to put in drama or suspense just falls flat because they can just hit the win button every time. That's what you've done with this, instead of the character that might actually be put into peril you've taken that all away for the future because everyone reading this will know he'll just use his runes or something and save the day as usual. There are no no stakes in the story and every time you'll try he'll just win because if he doesn't then it doesn't make sense with how you wrote things.
7152256
Unfortunately, I've seen the same pattern as you, and I have to agree.
makes me wonder if the greed children are sleeping on the job. we've got arrogant nobles everywhere.
7152256 I agree completely, the only reason I am going to keep this story marked for tracking is that I am struggling to find any good ones I haven't read. Thumbs down until divinity BS gets fixed.
No criticism from me. I just can't wait for the next chapter.
I do think that a lot of people enjoyed this for the living life and healing emotional scars slice of life thing. By adding secret societies and demigods walking among people forcing society and world down a certain path, you have made this a DBZ crackfic. I guess I really should have seen it coming based out how fast he learned runes. Twilight has spent at least a decade mastering her magic and she is just at the level of the top unicorns.
7151809
It is as they say Chekhov's gun exists.
7151821
Sounds about right. So the punisher/ghost rider and stronger and better fluttershy.
7151823
I wonder who his partner would be.
7151833
Either way, I like it and this has potential.
7151871
Did a certain Lord of Cinder throw Spears of light? Was a first flame relit?
7151921
I think this story is going to be better as this than another slice of life.
7151925
Makes a lot of sense,
7151965
As a highschool senior, even I don't have thaany friendship problems, give us more action Hasbro!
7152256
Wow, from French frie to dead Sea scroll your a soild 8 on the salty scale.
•••••••••••
It seems that people don't understand what OP means. Andrew is currently in a coma and nearly died because of his "God mod powers". OP would be him having no downsides to this power, if dying is on the table for every time he uses his powers for the next 30 years it's not OP, it's a Glass cannon with a Power limiter.
I like this story alot.
Hey look, it's the downvoters.
Swarming like flies to vinegar.
7152256
Basically. I'm really sad I have to say this, because I have been following this story since chapter 7 or so? Well over a year at this point, anyway, and this just isn't what I was reading this story for.
I'll admit up-front, this wasn't one of my favourite stories here, but it was always one of those stories you can rely on to provide a nice, relaxing half-hour of reading whenever a new update popped up. I was enjoying that it wasn't really about much of anything, just a dude settling into his new circumstances, a bit of magic, maybe a little quasi-romance and then maybe Alice could have even popped up at some point! Ultra Epic Superpowered Gary Stu Divine Chosen One in Equestria wasn't what I was reading this for. It still isn't what I'm reading this for. This sudden shift in direction might appeal to some people, but as we can already see, it comes at the cost of alienating all the people who liked the story for what it was.
And it's really no use to pretend that it won't come up again for 30 years or whatever. It's been established in the story and now it'll be used, one way or another. So yeah, what can I say in response to that? Congratulations, objectives achieved, I guess.
If Gilded Tome has any sense, he'll delete the last three chapters and try to find another way to do things. It might take some downtime or putting the story into hiatus for a while, but it would hardly be the first story that needed to do this after the author produced a real narrative mess-up.
I want to call this secret society (or whatever) "The League of Super Best Friends". I have no Idea why this came to mind, or where it might be from.
Agh I get caught up and it is a cliffhanger!!!!
Calm down Remmy. It will be ok.
No it won't Blank now I have to deal with this for who knows how long. *sob*
So he's praticly a Diety in training huh? Must admit i did not see that comming.
7152875 I find myself in agreement with you. I found myself smiling eveytime this showed up in my feed, it was a pleasant. Just a simple story with someone adjusting to a new life, nothing big. Then came the nightmare chapters. That's fine I can dig it, the show has big bads evey so often and it ain't so bad. Then it got darker and suddenly we round up in Dark Souls: prepare to be adorable edition. I think I'll stick around for a few more chapters and see where he's going with this, mostly out of respect for the enjoyment the story gave me before hand.
7153455
I'm with you on this. I'll be sticking around for a little longer, because at this point, I'm frankly just too attached to it and the characters to simply drop it outright... but at the rate this is going, I'm pretty certain that soon I won't want to anymore. Personally, I'm hoping that the story will catch itself and get back on course before then, but that kind of hope rarely turns out well.
Thumbs down, unfavorited. No time for death cults.
Caught up with the present, favorited. That said, you need an editor to take care of your mistakes and misuses of homonyms. There, their, they're are some of the more frequent mistakes.
Also, my personal opinion is that it would be a more interesting story overall if his 'partner' or paring or whatever never showed up. That somehow something twisted the bands of fate and this bit slipped through. After all, Earth's a different world, maybe something there took exception to Faust - or whoever you're going to call her - meddling there.
Especially since the dominos are being set up for whoever holds the other side of that equation to be a total twat.
Pen15............
That is all
(Love this so far by the way)