• Member Since 28th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2016


i am a upcoming writer looking for helpful advice from the ponies here on FIMfiction. also Luna is best pony! :)))))


I am Princess Twilight Sparkle one of the four Equestrian alicorn princesses. Or at least I was until the Changelings came back. Everything i new changed when Tia told me to find Equestria's last hope…now it is up to me to find a prince by the name of Magical Sunrise and save Equestria.... again.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 5 )

I dont wanna upvote the fic nor do I wanna downvote. A part of me wants to downvote due to random alicorn OC that just popped up outta no where while another part of me is saying "You havent read it, it would be unfair to downvote something based off of the cover you moron!" So instead Im going to leave without upvoting or downvoting. I am also not going to read it due to the fact that if it does turn out really bad I would have rather spent my time looking at a fic that is actually appealing, that and the fact that if it turns out to be seriously bad I would prefer to NOT have my eye balls melt out of my skull. Sorry but to sum it up it doesnt really look very appealing. I also rather dislike random alicorn OC's. There are ways to make a fan made alicorn but you must explain where they come from and have a good personality for him/her. Also you should probably add an alternate universe tag at the very least. If you really wanna make fics then, unless you are a seriously good writer; avoid alicorn OC's.

I have completely changed my mind. This is bad. Like baaaad. It all started when I realized that the chapters are very short. So I decided to read through them to see if this fic is atleast the kinda bad that people enjoy but I was sooo wrong. I had to stop at the end of the second chapter because I honestly couldn't go on anymore without risking my sanity. To the author if your reading this, stick around until the end and hear me out. I got some advice that may help you.
So lets start at the beginning with Twilight coming across a statue in the Canterlot castle. We are then introduced to OP Mc. OPson. My jaw dropped as I read up on this absolutely terrible OC and it hasnt even gotten to his 'backstory'. I was surprised that the author didnt make him red and black with scars, two horns, and a rainbow mane. Celestia then walks in to tell Twilight that the statue depicts OP Mc. OPson the older brother of Celestia. She continues to suddenly tell Twilight that he is their only hope and she must go find him before Chrysalis pops up and kills both Luna and Celestia by hurling spears at them (What?!). Twily is teleported to the Everfree woods seemingly unfazed by the death of both princesses as she makes her way to the castle of the two sisters or whatever its called. She almost immediately finds a book about Mr. Terrible OP OC and finds that he is basically Lauren Faust in that he created the elements and gave unicorns/pegasi their horns/wings. I started skimming over parts of this story up until Twillight first encounters this OC. The moment he finished saying his first line I was about ready to throw my phone across the room in absolute disguist and terror. All I know is that afterwards two more OP OC's (or OPOC's as Im beginning to call them) leap into the story literally out of no where. *sigh* I really dont mean to offend the author by saying all of this but seriously, work on your writing and your OC's. You can be a good writer (a title I cannot claim) but you need to seriously work on it and make these chapters longer. Everything feels really rushed. Thank you for your time, and please if your a veiwer give this guy a chance but heed my warning that at the time of this comment being posted he just isnt a very good writer.

I'v been looking all over the place for a Gary Stu or Mary Sue alicorn OC fic just cause I thought it would be atleast mildly amusing. I was more than wrong. I unfortunately had to downvote. Sorry.

well i but given up on this fan fic may revise later but i am busy.

Login or register to comment