The Theories

"Thanks for the cupcakes Pinkie!" Rarity handed the pink party pony a few bits, as a plate of delicious chocolate cupcakes made their way to the table.

"No problem girls!" Pinkie yawned, before walking towards the kitchen. "I'll be going to my room after some cookies are done. You girls are my last customers, so take all the time you need!"

Pinkie bounced away, humming a little tune.

"Hey guys, what does Pinkie do in her room?" Rainbow Dash looked extremely thoughtful, while everypony else looked quite confused.

"What sort of question is that?" Rarity frowned. Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes,

"We've been in her room, remember? All the, oh I don't know, thousands of slumber parties we've had?"

"Yeah, but we don't know what she does when she's alone!" Rainbow Dash seemed to ignore the looks given to her by her friends.

"Oh! I have an idea!" The cyan pegasus cleared her throat.

"That's not really any of our business." Fluttershy spoke so quietly no one heard her. The fact that Rainbow Dash had launched into a story didn't help.

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The door to Pinkie's room opened dramatically, with smoke pouring into the room. Then, stepping inside, was the party pony herself, Pinkie Pie!

After dramatically slamming the door, she walked over to a coat stand, and dramatically whipped a lab coat and put it on, you guessed it, dramatically!

"And now, to my desk!" Pinkie jumped to her desk and sat down, and whipped out a pencil from the lab coat.

Then, she dramatically pulled out a piece of blueprint paper and wrote two words on the top.

'PRANK PLANS'

Smiling mischievously, she drew lines, connected the dots, and coloured outside the lines! Pinkie drew up hundreds of plans for pranks. After dramatically going through them all to find the best ones, she made up lists of materials.

Dramatically opening the window, she heard a small sound behind her.

It was Gummy, her faithful alligator assistant.

"Don't worry Gummy! I will return!" She jumped out the window, leaping from roof to roof, lab coat trailing in the wind.

Her silhouette bouncing across walls, she collected materials in the dead of night, with anyone who could witness it seeing just a flash of white, a peek of pink. She was a ninja, the patron saint of pranks. She was on an endless quest, that required years of training. Years of dedication. Tonnes of creativity.

Every night was spent devising thousands of pranks. Collecting an indefinite amount of materials. Constructing, and placing. Taste-testing whipped cream. After bouncing across Ponyville, gathering materials needed in her epic adventure, she returned to Sugarcube Corner to make the pranks.

Entering her room as silent as a mouse, she cracked open her door. No one was there. Perfect! Running back to her desk, she put all her collected materials on her desk, before sneaking downstairs and snatching three, that's right, three cans of whipped cream!

The rest of the night was spent creating, testing and perfecting her pranks, and deciding where to put them in order to prank her unsuspecting victims!

Pinkie let out a maniacal laugh, and-

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"That's crazy." Rarity was rolling her eyes as Rainbow Dash demonstrated the maniacal laugh.

The rainbow-maned pegasus gave her a glare before brushing herself off.

"Yeah, but it's so crazy it might just be true!" Rarity paused to think about this, and Applejack interjected.

"Rainbow's got a point. This is Pinkie, pretty much anything goes."

"Well in any case, I don't think she spends her nights making pranks. Or being a ninja." Rarity said the last words in a particularly sarcastic tone, causing Rainbow Dash to huff and eat a cupcake.

"Well what do you think she does, Miss Know-it-all." Twilight's ears pricked, then fell when she realised Rainbow was referring to Rarity.

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Pinkie Pie entered her room. In order not to wake the sleeping twins, she closed her door quietly and tip-toed to her desk. She pushed away a couple miscellaneous pranks and opened up her calendar. On practically every day someone's name was written down, sometimes two or three. She flipped to tomorrow, and took note of whose birthday it was.

Time to plan their party.

Putting her calendar away, she opened up a sketchbook and drew a picture of the interior of Sugarcube Corner. After sharpening a pencil, she started drawing in details.

The exact location of every streamer. The precise spot the cake would go. Where she would store the party bags. After making her plan, she got a large banner from under her bed. Pulling out some paint from a cupboard, she began painting out the birthday pony's name on the banner.

"Hmmm... Needs more purple." The pink party pony went to her paint cabinet, and was horrified to find she was all out of purple paint.

A normal pony would have given up, used a different colour. Perhaps red, or blue, or she could just mix the two together and make purple. But Pinkie would not have it. The particular shade of purple she needed could not be just mixed together from red and blue. She had to find some.

Picking up some bits just in case, she petted Gummy on the head.

"Keep watch Gummy. Make sure nopony comes in." This was her secret mission, to make everyponys birthday as perfect as possible.

Leaving her room, she tip-toed downstairs and searched for the paint in the various cupboards in the shop. Nothing.

Pinkie sighed, trying to think of a solution. Then she had a brainwave. The paint store had a twenty-four hour painting emergency system. This was a painting emergency. She had to get that purple. After quietly closing the door, she raced across Ponyville, not in a lab coat or anything.

Upon reaching the paint store, she knocked loudly.

"MR POOONNNNEEETTTTT!" Despite being as loud as a siren, the only pony who was woken was Ponet himself.

"Oh hello Pinkie, do you have a painting emergency?" Ponet looked tired, but happy to help one of his best customers.

"Yes! I'm out of heliotrope purple!"

"Oh no! Good thing I've got a can right here."

"Yay! Thanks Ponet! I owe you one free cupcake!" Pinkie hefted the can onto her back, grinning.

"Heh, that and ten bits would be fine." Ponet tapped the price tag on the can, and Pinkie obliged, throwing the bits into the air and leaving the store.

"Thanks again!' Her yell echoed into the distance, yet still somehow not waking up anypony.

When she reached Sugarcube Corner, she continued her work throughout the night, having cookies every five minutes to keep her energy up. She-

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"Well. Rarity, your story is more realistic than Rainbow Dash's-" Twilight was interrupted by the titular Rainbow Dash, who looked quite miffed.

"Hey! My story was plenty realistic."

"Anyway, both of you are forgetting that Pinkie needs to sleep too."

"So you think she just sleeps? Nothing else?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. Rainbow Dash faked a yawn, which caused Fluttershy to actually yawn.

Everyone else yawned in quick succession.

"No, I don't think she just sleeps." Twilight launched into her own theory.

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Pinkie Pie walked into her room, yawning. Seeing Gummy on the floor, lying upside down, she crouched to rub him on the tummy.

"Aw, goodnight Gummy!" She said tiredly.

Pinkie Pie walked over to her bed. Snuggling under the covers, she prepared for a good nights sleep. Yawning one more time, she closed her eyes and fell asleep...

She woke up in a room. It was a party! All of her friends were there, and they were all celebrating! Pinkie wasn't sure why they were celebrating, but she didn't care. Obviously, the party was thrown, therefore it was now her job to enjoy it!

She started dancing in the middle of a group of ponies, when there was a large ripping sound, and the whole roof was gone! Light streamed in from the sky, and ponies screamed as they tried to run away.

But Pinkie stood firm. She looked up. It was a giant red dragon! No way was a dragon going to ruin this party, ever! She grabbed the huge, three layer cake and catapulted it towards the dragon using a large banner.

Bullseye! The cake landed right inbetween the dragons eyes, and he staggered back, trying to wipe frosting off his face. But Pinkie was just getting started.

She pulled out her party cannon, and in quick succession, fired out enough parties for three birthdays, two weddings, four surprise parties, and one bar mitzvah.

"Take that you dragon!" She cried, reloading with any party materials on hand.

The dragon's eyes glowed red and suddenly, he started breathing fire!

But Pinkie was unfazed. Putting on some shades, she did parkour, leaping from bookcase to wall to the top of the building. She jumped onto the dragons back, and darted back and forth. The dragon tried to catch her, but she was too fast! Pinkie pulled out a sword, drew it back, let out an enormous battle cry and-

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"Umm, Twilight?" Applejack looked curiously at the purple alicorn.

Twilight was currently standing, with one back hoof on the table, the other on her chair. Her forelegs were raised in a battle stance, and she had magicked up a sword, which she was brandishing wildly.

"Oh. Um, whoops." Twilight blushed, before sitting down and throwing the sword over her shoulder.

"So, you think she sleeps, but her dreams are crazy?" Rarity had one eyebrow raised, with a slightly amused look on her face.

"Yeah. She's got to sleep, but who's not to say she gets her ideas from her dreams? It's happened before." Twilight looked very pleased with herself.

"Still. Dragons?" Rainbow Dash looked fit to burst with laughter.

"I may have gotten carried away..."

"Well, we are all allowed our theories. What about you Fluttershy, what do you think?" Rarity looked over the pale yellow pegasus, who had been very quiet throughout the whole thing.

"Oh, um, I don't really think it's my business and-"

"Oh don't worry dear, it's just harmless story-telling."

"Well... Okay..." Fluttershy looked up for a second nervously, before starting her story.

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Pinkie Pie entered her room. She saw her most favourite pet, well, only pet, Gummy the alligator. He was sitting on the ground with a very happy expression. Which was very similar to his excited expression. And sad, and angry, and confused, and- Oh, okay I'll keep going.

Pinkie knelt down next to Gummy, smiling.

"Hello Gummy! You look very happy!" Then Gummy bit Pinkies mane, which didn't hurt or anything, because Gummy had no teeth- Oh, you already know that? Okay.

Pinkie giggled, and the two started playing with each other's tails, and jumping around, and having staring contests. Gummy won. Then they had a bath, and bubble fights. Then Gummy yawned, and Pinkie put him to bed, giving him a little kiss on the head before going to bed herself.

The End.

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"Booooring." Rainbow Dash had her face on the table, looking very bored indeed.

"It was a lovely story, very adorable." Rarity finished off a cupcake, and Fluttershy beamed at the praise.

"It was very cute Fluttershy. I still think mine is right, but it was very cute." Twilight smiled warmly, very sure of herself.

"It was mighty nice. Short and sweet. It's my turn now, isn't it?" Applejack liked stories, and Pinkie was full of opportunities for stories.

"Yeah, I guess so. By then we should have finished these cupcakes and we can go." Twilight surveyed the remaining cupcakes, calculating how long it would take.

"Well alrighty then. It'd probably not as exciting as Twilight's or Rainbow's, but we'll see." Applejack then started her story.

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Pinkie Pie walked into her room. She spent a little time checking her calendar and marking down people's birthdays. Then, a timer dinged.

"Oh goodie! Cookies are ready!" Pinkie bounced downstairs and took some cookies out of the oven.

Putting the cookies on a cooling rack, she started to make some yummy treats for tomorrow's day.

She made cakes, cookies and cupcakes. She collected the ingredients, and put them all down on the bench.

With a flourish, she made various mixtures for various baked goods all at the same time. Mixture flew everywhere. On the walls, on the floors, on the benches, on Pinkie. After putting them in the oven, she set a dozen different timers so nothing would get burnt or undercooked. How she knew what was what, no one knew.

She began cleaning up, wiping down the benches. When the first timer dinged, she happily got the completely baked treat out of the oven, and prepared it for sale tomorrow. She repeated this until all the cakes, cookies, brownies and cupcakes were out of the oven and ready to go.

After finishing the baking, she cleaned herself up, wiping her hands and getting a stray chocolate chip out of her mane. She then walked upstairs, exhausted, and fell right asleep into her bed.

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"That may be even more boring than Fluttershy's story! It wasn't even in her room." Rainbow Dash looked very annoyed.

"Well, it is possible that Pinkie does do normal things when she's alone. Perhaps she saves all the extravagance for when she's around other ponies." Twilight reasoned, taking a bite out of her last cupcake.

"Well in any case, it's getting late and I need to make sure Sweetie Belle doesn't stay up past her bedtime. Goodnight girls!" Rarity stood up, brushing a few stray crumbs off her coat, before turning around and leaving Sugarcube Corner.

"Goodnight Rarity!" The other four chorused in reply.

"I suppose we all have our own little things to do in our rooms, don't we." Twilight smiled knowingly.

"Eyup. I just go right to bed, I gotta get up early after all." Applejack left the bakery, yawning.

"I have to put all my animals to bed first." Fluttershy followed the earth pony, though headed in a different direction.

"Well, I have to study. What do you have to do Rainbow?" The cyan pegasus pulled a face before dashing out the bakery door, leaving Twilight in the dust.

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight decided it didn't really matter what Pinkie Pie did in her room at night. After all, it was more fun making up stories.

She was still pretty sure her theory was right though.

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Pinkie Pie walked into her room, yawning. Hopefully she'd have enough energy for the adventure tonight. When those cookies get out of the oven, she would. While she was waiting, she fixed up a few little pranks for tomorrow. You could never be too prepared when it came to pranks, even tiny little ones like these.

A sharp dinging sound was heard, and Pinkie's ears pricked. The cookies were done!

She zipped downstairs and took them out, popping one into her mouth immediately. Delicious! She put the rest into her saddlebags that she now had on, and went back to her room. Smiling, she crawled under her bed and rummaged around for a small object.

Upon discovering it under a sock, she pulled it out. Perfect!

Pressing a few buttons, she looked at her faithful assistant, Gummy.

"Hold down the fort General Gummy! I will return with the spoils of war before the morrow!" Gummy blinked, and Pinkie grinned.

"I knew I could count on you!" She pressed a button and was enveloped in a large flash of blue light.

When the light died down, she was in a new land. Before her was a huge canyon, and as she gazed down into the murky depths below, there was a low rumbling and Pinkie Pie's body vibrated.

Then, a huge dragon jumped from the canyon. It was big, it was scary, its breath smelled terrible! Pinkie Pie stared at her adversary, forming a plan in her head. Pulling out a party hat, she stared down the dragon as she placed it on her head. It was on.

In swift, fluid movements, Pinkie leaped upwards, using her tail as a propellor to keep her lifted. Pulling out her party cannon, she fired three successive shots, one landing on the dragons arm, one on its stomach, and another right in between its eyes. Enraged, there was a loud roar and fire suddenly filled the sky.

Pinkie didn't even flinch. Aiming her cannon, she fired one last shot directly into the dragons mouth.

Ulp!

The dragon fell, defeated by the might of the pink party pony. Pinkie smiled, and as she passed, threw a party hat up on the dragons head as a gift. Luckily for her, the dragon fell across the canyon, and she could easily pass by bouncing on it.

Beyond the canyon, Pinkie saw a river of lava. How unoriginal, she thought. No matter.

Easily bouncing from stray rocks floating in the lava, Pinkie wondered for a moment why convection didn't work here, and why she wasn't burning up right now. Oh well. Convection shmuckvection. She was on a mission, she had no time for the petty laws of the universe!

After crossing the lava pit, defeating a minotaur and navigating a labyrinth by climbing on top of the walls, she arrived at an ancient cave, with a small, extremely old pony guarding it.

"In order to pass, you must answer my riddle." He said, sounding very old and wise.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. This was the third mystical guardian this week.

"I have four wings but cannot fly, I never laugh and never cry; on the same spot I'm always toiling around, toiling away with little sound. What am I?" Pinkie had to resist the urge to laugh.

This was too easy.

"A windmill!" She announced proudly.

The mystical guardian looked a bit shocked, before composing himself.

"Well done. I have one more riddle you must sol- What are you doing?" Pinkie stared down the guardian with a serious look in her eyes.

The guardian looked very confused and uncomfortable as Pinkie leaned in, reached up a hoof and...

Booped him on the nose.

"I- um, er... Oh just go." The mystical guardian gave up, retired from his job and later went on to be a successful gardner.

"Thank you!" Pinkie placed a cookie on his nose before bouncing off into the magical cave.

Inside the cave, was what she had been looking for. The magical scroll that had magical writing on it. The contents? Magical.

She looked carefully at the scroll, wondering if there was a trap. Oh well. She grabbed it, and started to open it, when she heard another rumbling sound, and the cave started to collapse!

Pinkie looked at the entrance. It was far away. She might be able to make it if she was lucky... Instead she pulled out her teleportation device and teleported home. Problem solved.

"Hey Gummy! Anyone come in?" Gummy blinked.

"Good job! Here's a cookie." Pinkie threw the cookie to the toothless alligator, and he began gumming at it.

Pinkie looked at the magical scroll, and walked over to her desk, pushing party plans and prank blueprints away. Opening up, she gasped at the contents. Truly remarkable. Nodding, she closed the scroll. She had done well, her mission was complete. Time for bed.

Eating one last cookie, she settled underneath her blankets. She had succeeded. She had found out when Celestia's birthday was.

Tomorrow night she would go after Luna's.

Author's Note:

Hello! This is a silly thing I wanted to do. I got the idea from when I was thinking of story ideas, and thought of those stories where characters get together and have theories about stuff. Hope you like it!

Feedback, suggestions and ideas are always appreciated!

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