Dogfight Over Equestria

A small squadron of P-51D Mustang pilots gets stuck in equestria, along with the wrath of the war behind them. They are all aces, but their squadron is only made up of five planes. How will they fare against Nazi's AND changelings?

Chapters (3)

Enter · 11th Nov 2014 · 812 words
812
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Live to fight and fly · 11th Nov 2014 · 1,937 words
1,937
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Worms and jets and bombers, oh my! · 7th Dec 2014 · 1,320 words
1,320
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Comments ( 20 )

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Cryptic-Dash

Cryptic-Dash #1 · Nov 12th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

Its an interesting idea and think that its pretty good.

However try to space your sentances out in to more readable paragraphs and when a character talks, maybe have it spaced out from the previous speaker so its easier to follow.

But all in all I kind of enjoyed it, keep up the good work.

Blastshot

Blastshot #2 · Nov 12th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5262868 Thanks for the help!

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #3 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up in this story? Will this story be a long one?

grievousrommel

grievousrommel #4 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

Please tell me there will be at most one Me 262, at least 0.

Blastshot

Blastshot #5 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5263066 I will write as long as my imagination allows me, it will take a long time for me to run out of ideas.
Rainbow will beat up some Krauts, just remember it won't always be in hand to hand to hoof combat (Hint Hint, stolen fighter)

Blastshot

Blastshot #6 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5263325 originally, I didn't really think about the 262, but good idea, I think it'll be in chapter 3! Thanks! I'll mention you in the authors notes!

grievousrommel

grievousrommel #7 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5263336 No prob...fyi if you get desperate for new ideas, I refer you to the first operational wing bomber in the world, the Horten 229. Keep in mind that that jet is scraping the bottom of the barrel.

But come on, tell me it doesn't look cool.
c1.staticflickr.com/5/4019/5139408463_e1f5c619d2_z.jpg

Blastshot

Blastshot #8 · Nov 14th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5263407 lol, good point

flyingtigers40

flyingtigers40 #9 · Nov 28th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

quick question where are they getting ammo for the planes cuz the p-51 only carried 20 seconds worth of ammo

Blastshot

Blastshot #10 · Nov 28th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5321166
Huh, didn't think about that. IDEA! They run out of ammo in the next chapter and raid a ammunition factory!

flyingtigers40

flyingtigers40 #11 · Nov 28th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

5321532 that makes it work

Lt Rainbow Slash

Lt Rainbow Slash #12 · Dec 20th, 2014 · · · Live to fight and fly ·

Ok...so good idea, poor execution. To be honest It's hard to explain what you are doing wrong just because these so much. My best recommendation would be to just read, see how people structure their stories, and what the write. People tend to frown upon saying things like 'I know it's a bland way to start a story.'

So I say just read some and get familiar with how things normally work.

Blastshot

Blastshot #13 · Dec 21st, 2014 · · · Worms and jets and bombers, oh my! ·

5403655 well, I intended that to be stupid. Thanks for your help, but that part was just intended to sound and be stupid, just for the stupid part of the sense of humor that some people do have, and some people don't. And I forgot to mention, I did chapter one when I was 9 years old. I decided not to revise it because I'm just lazy like that. The only thing I took out was something else WAY to obnoxious and stupid to be in there. But then again, thanks for the help!

Rainbowdashisawesone