Applejack's Homemade Pie

by Charliebbarkin

Chapter 2

It was the next day, and Twilight was preparing to leave the library on her way to Applejack’s babyshower party. Twilight finished gift wrapping a book about prenatal care after triple-checking it didn’t have any unauthorized modifications by Pinkie Pie.

“Twilight, please! Let me out of this thing!” Spike said, as he rattled the locked door on his crate.

“I’ll be back in a few hours Spike.” Twilight said while smiling to calm him down.

“But I have to go to the bathroom!” Spike replied.

“Well, then I guess you’ll have to learn to hold it!” Twilight covered her mouth as she giggled lightly. “Alright, I’ll see you in a few hours.” Twilight said before exiting the library and closing the door.

It wasn’t long before Twilight arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, and the other girls were already there at a picnic table filled with apple-related foods and drinks. “Congratulations, Applejack! Here, I have a present for you!” Twilight said as she levitated the book towards Applejack.

Applejack took it, and quickly unwrapped it with her hooves. A small fleck of mud got on the cover, and while Applejack didn’t even notice, Twilight bit her lip and tried her best not to get upset.

Applejack held the book up and read the cover out loud. “A...ggguh...guy...guide...to….pra..pre..neeigh...nay..nattt...natalll...co..car...care. A guide to prenatal care!”

Twilight’s eyes widened at the stunning realization that Applejack could barely read. Not wanting to spoil the party, Twilight didn’t vocalize her concerns. “I just thought it might help you in these coming months.”

“Well, sure, I guess...thanks Twilight!”

“You’re very welcome AJ!”

Fluttershy had a concerned look on her face as she asked Applejack, “Do you know what it’s going to be yet?”

“Ahh sure do.” Applejack said with a slightly saddened voice. “It’s going to be a colt.”

Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity gave out a sigh, as Twilight gave a very annoyed look at her three friends. “Don’t worry, AJ!” Pinkie said loudly as she bounced over to Twilight. “Our pal Twilight can get rid of that thing for you!” Pinkie giggled while patting Twilight on the head. “It actually kind of tickles!”

Twilight frowned, not appreciating what Pinkie was saying at all. She immediately used her magic to levitate Pinkie away from her.

Applejack continued talking, after the interruption. “Now, I don’t want any of you to think any less of me, so please don’t be mad at my decision.” Applejack said.

“Oh no.” Thought Twilight.

“I’ve decided to have the foal.” Applejack said.

“Awwww” Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie all said sadly, at the same time. Rainbow rolled her eyes at her three friends. Meanwhile, Twilight smiled for the first time in a while.

“I know, I know. But the fact is, we could really use an extra set of hooves to help plow the fields. You’re the best set of friends a pony could ask for, I know you’ll all support me and my decision.” The girls all gathered together for a group hug.

The girls gathered around the picnic table and ate their celebratory lunch. Afterwards the ponies started to disband. Applejack walked towards the orchards for some apple bucking, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie were walking on the road, and Rainbow was about to take off to the skies.

“Hey, Rainbow...could I talk to you for a minute?” Twilight asked.

“Sure, Twi. What’s up?”

“What’s the deal with everypony here?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Rainbow asked.

“I mean, why does everyone in Ponyville hate colts so much?” Twilight clarified.

“I’m not sure! Ponies aren’t like that in Cloudsdale, that’s for sure. I moved here just before you did, so I don’t really know the history of it. I bet Granny Smith would know, she founded the town, after all. Well I’ve gotta get going, I’m late for my afternoon nap!” And with that, Rainbow took off into the skies.

Twilight thought about what Rainbow said. She walked over to the farmhouse and knocked on the door. After a few moments of waiting, Twilight knocked again. She knew that Granny Smith had to be in there since she was basically immobile. Twilight knocked a third time, and heard a muffled voice from inside.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, hold your horses….”

The door opened, and Granny looked up at Twilight. “Oh! Well if it isn’t one of Applejack’s friends, hello Fluttershy! Applejack’s not here right now, I reckon she’s out working the fields.”

Twilight kept a constant smile on her face. “Actually, I’m Twilight. And I was wondering if I could talk to you inside about something important.”

“Oh? Well come on inside.” Granny said as she turned and started walking inside. Twilight sat on the couch as Granny sat in her rocking chair.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something. You helped found Ponyville, right?” Twilight asked.

“Darned tootin’!” Granny replied.

“Can you tell me why everyone here hates colts and stallions so much?”

“Stallions?!? Mmmmph! ‘Bout the only thing they’re good for is plowin’ the fields!” Granny replied. Here eyelids were narrowed and Twilight could hear a tone of resentment or anger in her voice.

“What makes you say that?” Twilight asked, pressing for more information.

“Back when Applejack was a youn’un, ah caught her father cheatin’ on her mother. Why, that still makes my blood boil. When I confronted that scoundrel, he went and skipped town. Wasn’t long before Applejack’s mother...my poor daughter died of a broken heart.” Granny’s speech wasn’t as sad as it was angry. She continued talking.

“So I decided to put something in the town charter in pursuit of a more perfect union.” Granny said.

Twilight sipped on some tea. “Like what?” She asked, looking back up at Granny. Granny sat in her chair, eyes closed. “Granny?” Twilight asked. “Uh oh,” she thought to herself. Twilight nudged granny’s forehoof.

Granny Smith gasped for breath, and opened her eyes, and looked all aright her. “Huh?!? Soups on?” Granny’s eyes focused on Twilight. “Oh, Pinkie Pie! What brings you over today? I think Applejack is out workin’ the fields, if you’re looking for her.”

“No, Granny. It’s me, Twilight. And, I think I should be going now. I’ll see you later, bye Granny!” Twilight promptly exited the farmhouse. She knew exactly where to go next to find her answer.

But before she made a visit to town hall, she decided it would be best to stop by the library quickly to let Spike out of his crate. Twilight walked to her library and opened the door, only to find Princess Celestia and Spike having tea in the middle of the main room.

Twilight gasped, and bowed down respectfully. “Princess.” Twilight then stood back up.

Celestia stood up, flared her wings, and turned towards Twilight. “Twilight Sparkle. Do you know why I’m here today?”

Twilight immediately broke down into tears. “I’m so sorry, Princess. I’m so sorry! I promise, I’m working on my student loan payment. I just need a little more time!”

“That is not why I’m here today, Twilight. Just be sure not to be more than 30 days late. No, I am here today because Spike wrote a letter telling me you locked him in a cage. Is this true?”

Twilight was incredibly relieved that Celestia wasn’t mad she was late with her monthly student loan payment. Her ears perked back up. “Well, technically, it’s a crate. And I’m trying to train Spike not to wet the bed.”

“Twilight, Spike is a dragon, not a dog. Spike may be your personal assistant right now, but he is still my property. I cannot allow you to mistreat him in such a way. No more putting Spike into cages or crates. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Princess. I’m sorry, I was just trying to train him.”

“I know your heart was in the right place, my dear student. Oh, and one last thing.”

“Yes, Princess?” Twilight asked.

“Spike mentioned that you were drinking potions given to you by a Zebra. Is that true?”

“Yes…?” Twilight answered, not sure why Celestia would ask.

“Twilight, if you are going to progress in your studies with me, I need you to stay away from zebras.” Celestia said, in a serious tone.

“But...Zecora is my friend!” Twilight replied.

“Twilight, zebras are not ponies like you or I. They are….zebras. There is a reason the ponies in Ponyville forced this...zecora...to live in the middle of the woods, away from the town.”

“But why?” Twilight asked.

“That story will have to be for another time, my student. For now, this conversation is over. I’m very proud of you, Twilight.” And with that said, Celestia gave Twilight a hug before exiting the library and taking to the skies.

“What was that all about?” Twilight asked Spike.

“I dunno...I’m just glad I don’t have to go in that awful crate anymore.” Spike replied.

Since Spike was already released from his crate, Twilight headed off to city hall. The town was at the very center of the town, and towered over all the other buildings. Twilight approached the receptionist’s desk.

“Excuse me, I’m wondering if you could provide me with a copy of the town charter.” Twilight asked.

“A copy? No, it would take too long to copy it for you word by word. But I can tell you where to find and read it. Lets see…” The receptionist scanned through some cards in a large drawer. “Here we go. The town charter is located at 203.001. The town archives are in the basement, you can take the stairs right over there.”

“Thanks!” Twilight said. She started walking down the stairs as she wondered to herself why the town charter would be under category 203. Wasn’t that reserved for public worship and other practices?

It wasn’t long before Twilight found the charter and started reading it. It was difficult to read, as the entire thing was handwritten. After an hour or so, Twilight came upon the passage she was looking for.

“All colts shall be fixed before their first birthday. Any parent or legal guardian neglecting to fix their colt before they turn one year of age shall be assessed a four percent property surtax and twenty percent income surtax.”

Twilight’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. She couldn’t believe that Granny Smith would impose such an awful rule on an entire town. Tears came to her eyes as she realized Pinkie tricked her not for cultural reasons, but for tax purposes. Twilight wanted to return to Canterlot more than ever, but she knew deep down inside that Celestia wouldn’t allow that. She didn’t bother to finish reading the charter. Twilight regained her composure, and left city hall.

Months had passed after Applejack birthed a perfectly healthy colt. Applejack and her colt were on their way out of the house when they encountered an obstacle. Big Mac stood in the doorway frowning.

“Nope.” Said Big Mac. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!”

“Big mac, we’ve been over this. Field Plower will be fine. Now move!”

“Nope, NOPE, nope, nope.” Big Mac replied.

“Look, if we don’t get this done, we’ll lose the farm. We can’t afford not to have him fixed.”

“NOPE, NOPE, nope, nope!” Big Mac replied.

Applejack covered Field Plower’s ears as she leaned in to speak quietly to Big Mac. “You don’t think I know you’re the father? Look, this is my decision, and it’s already been made. Alright?” She uncovered Field Plower’s ears.

“NOPE, nope, nope.” Big Mac replied.

“Nah, I’m gonna ask Twilight to do it. Less chance of infection if a unicorn does it. Plus, doctors are expensive.”

“Nope, NOPE!”

“She doesn’t have to know it.” Applejack dug in her saddlebag and pulled out a piece of paper. “See, ah got the spell right here. Now move.”

Big mac sighed, and stepped out of the way.

Applejack and Field Plower arrived at the library and walked inside “Well howdy, Twilight!”

“Hey Applejack! What brings you by the library today?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could help me out with something important. You see, we’re coming up on Field Plower’s first birthday, and he still needs to get fixed. Would you mind doing the honors?”

“Me?!?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Listen, AJ. I really don’t want to have any part of that. I mean, taking away so much from your son, who doesn’t even consent to it.”

“I wanna get fixed! Yay!” Field Plower blurted out.

“See, Twi. He consents, everything is alright.”

“But AJ, it’s not right!”

“Listen, sugarcube. If Field Plower here doesn’t get fixed up soon, we’re going to lose the farm.” Applejack explained.

“But can’t you just change the town charter?” Twilight asked.

“Only one who can is Granny, and she refuses to. Listen Twi, Field Plower here is gettin’ fixed, with or without you. It’s just that, magic has much less risk than doing it at the hospital. So how ‘bout it? Will you help your friend, or am I going to have to go someplace else.”

Twilight sighed and thought for a few seconds. She knew that Celestia wanted her to live by Ponyville rules and culture for a while. “Alright, AJ. I’ll do it.” Twilight frowned. “What do I have to do?”

Applejack fished the spell out of her saddlebag and gave it to Twilight with her mouth. Twilight levitated it with her magic and looked at it. “Well, I haven’t don’t have much experience with alteration spells, but….are you sure this is right?”

“‘Course I’m sure. Double checked and everything.”

Twilight sighed and looked down at the happy face of Field Plower. She knew he’d never be able to have children of his own, and it would be her fault. But she also knew that Applejack was right. This was going to get done with or without her. “Alright, Field Plower. Hold still.” Twilight’s horn lit up as magic wrapped around young Field Plower. After a few moments, he was wrapped in a magical cocoon.

Twilight closed her eyes and focused in order to perform the spell. Within a few seconds, it was over as the magical cocoon faded. She looked down at Field Plower. His face was blank, staring through Twilight into the distance. His mouth hung open as his tongue stuck out of one side.

“Field Plower? Are you alright?” Twilight waved her hoof furiously in front of his frozen face.

Finally, after a few moments, he replied. “Eeeyuuppp.”

Applejack smiled, and retrieved an empty pickle jar from her saddle bag. She picked up a small pink object from the floor and put it in the jar. Twilight saw. “What was that?”

“Oh, just a souvenir. Thanks again, Twi. I know you didn’t really want to help, but I sure do appreciate it. Come on, sweet heart.”

Applejack and Field Plower turned around and walked towards the door. Twilight watched as Field Plower was walking very strangely, almost as if he were just learning how. She also observed that Field Plower didn’t look very fixed to her. Eventually, they exited the library.

Twilight took a second look at the spell, trying to figure out how it worked. “I know I’ve seen this somewhere else before….” She started going through her books. Reproductive health, general health, every book she tried didn’t have the spell. Then another book caught her eye. “Historical medical procedures…” Twilight said to herself. She started flipping to the book. She flipped to the appendices and found a section on spells to treat psychiatric patients. Much to Twilight’s delight, she saw the same spell that Applejack gave her.

Twilight read to herself out loud. “The spell below is used to….oh no.” Twilight realized what she had just done.

Comments

[ZealousChristian24]

Do you hate Twilight? Because these stories make me wonder. Let me see, Celestia is made a racist alongside allowing this nightmare to go on, and you've included Applecest. How original and canonical! Granny Smith is made outright evil(not to mention AJ's dad)and the fact it's for tax purposes just makes everyone's decisions that more vile. And, to add a Cherry on top, Twilight is again stupid enough to trust another of her so-called "friends"(both of whom are Earth Ponies; any particular reasons?) when it comes to spells and moral judgements. And, like before, I award you negative points, may He have mercy upon your soul, and I hope Chrysalis, Discord, or Tirek give this place what-fore!

[Charliebbarkin]

5258125 Haha, no, I don't hate Twilight...She's my favorite of the mane 6

As for your comment in chapter 1, "Still rushed and without an ounce of Comedy"....all the things you listed ARE the jokes Come on, having Twilight remind Pinkie that lying is wrong, then immediately lying to Fluttershy didn't make you smile at least a little? Or having Pinkie be completely oblivious to why Twilight was angry with her? And Applejack actually didn't trick Twilight...she just assumed Twilight knew what 'fixing' meant. She probably should have finished reading the town charter

[notapony]

I don't know why I read this. I know why I read the previous story, but I cannot fathom why I read this.

The last story was just bad with completely out of character Pinkie, AJ, Rarity and Twilight and having a "friend" force someone into doing something that was morally repugnant to them.

This story was just stupid. Because one stallion did something horrible all males in Ponyville have to get their brains scrambled by the age of one. Even though we've seen all the male characters in Ponyvile (Davenport, Mr. Cake, Bulk Biceps, Big Mac and even Snips and Snails) show more intelligence then what is on display here. Twilight goes from horrible depression, to the point of needing medicinal help just to cope with the guilt, to instant forgiveness of the pony who caused her such grief in mere hours. AJ is borderline illiterate but also knows enough about magic (as an earth pony this makes total sense) to double check a brain removal spell.

The only thing even remotely funny is the Let It Go joke and even then it's not even worth the effort of an eye roll. The humor falls flat because it's ill conceived, ill-timed and just plain poorly written. Like the previous story, this story isn't "ha ha" funny. It's not situationally funny. It's not satirically funny. It's not funny in how bad it is. It's just not funny in any possible concept or permutation of "funny" or "amusing."

[notapony]

5343558
I feel like I should also point out this isn't even good as a trollfic. The writing is just too bland and boring for it to even count as that.

[Charliebbarkin]

5343558 "(Davenport, Mr. Cake, Bulk Biceps, Big Mac and even Snips and Snails)" I dunno, man. Out of all of them, the only one in the show with normal mental faculty is Mr. Cake. Maybe his parents decided to just pay the tax? Or his parents rented forever and thus didn't owe property tax? And look who he had to marry, that is unfortunate. Maybe he isn't all there upstairs after all. But all the rest you mentioned are very dim in the show. That is canon.

[notapony]

5345797
There is no evidence that Carrot Cake HAD to marry Cup Cake. Their relationship shows signs of mutual trust and affection which is not usually readily apparent in a forced or unwilling marriage. I can only assume that you see Carrot Cake's marriage as negative because Mrs. Cake is heavier than the average mare. When Mrs. Cake is first introduced it's quite likely that she's very far along in her pregnancy, in which case it would be normal and healthy for her to be heavier than the average mare. Or perhaps Carrot Cake just likes his mares chubby. In any case, there is no reason to assume that the Cake marriage is anything but positive.

Snips and Snails are incredibly gullible and have been shown to follow ponies/people with strong personalities but they have never truly been shown to be stupid enough as to be mentally impaired. Bulk Biceps is clearly not very bright, but again not to the point of mental impairment. He has said more than "YEAH!" in canon and he's clearly at least mentally competent enough to compete in a national level competition. Big Mac has shown intelligence on par with his sister AJ. That is to say, at least average intelligence and not practically illiterate as you portray her. That is canon, not your enormously stupid idea of colt lobotomizing.

[Charliebbarkin]

5346122 Relax, I was just joking about Mr. Cake. Although, I'm pretty sure she steals most of his food. Anyway, Snail's special 'talent' is literally to be mentally slower than a snail. Canon. The only thing other than 'YEAH' I remember Bulk Biceps saying is when he thought Rainbow Dash started with a 'T'. The scenes where big mac is smart are jokes, much like scenes where fluttershy is mean. There is something wrong with the colts and stallions in ponyville.

[Weird Dragon]

When's the sequel

[Blondlionezel]

I LOVE this story! It shows that Ponyville really isn't a paradise.

[GuineaPigGal]

No offence but I HATED this and the prequel. It's really rushed has no detail and the plot is just...
I don't have the words for how bad the plot is!!!!

You really need to work on your fics.

[Lord Stratos Eclipse]

I don't really like this but my biggest problem is that with all the other idiocy you also decide to make Celestia a racist (speciesist?). It just makes the problems to over the top. If I was Twilight I would find a spell to make it that ponies in ponyville can only give birth to colts.

[The Blue EM2]

“Back when Applejack was a youn’un, ah caught her father cheatin’ on her mother. Why, that still makes my blood boil. When I confronted that scoundrel, he went and skipped town. Wasn’t long before Applejack’s mother...my poor daughter died of a broken heart.” Granny’s speech wasn’t as sad as it was angry. She continued talking.

Well, this aged poorly...

[The Blue EM2]

10947531
True. It's the least of this story's problems...