Buried alive. Left to rot. On the edge of his fate the detective is pulled from his coffin. The city that covered him is gone and the detective is worlds away. Magic, friendship, love, harmony, someone still has to put all the pieces together.
Mind-Fucked. I honestly had a hard time following this chapter... I'll probably get it when I give it another read so it's all good! But regardless great chapter!
I had to go back a chapter to remember what was going on. I hate to do that. but it was a long chapter and I know how hard it can be to write stuff :) Get better and write some more awesome chapters :3
"I can still make it up to you!" she said, tears starting to fall from her eyes. She lowered her head, bringing her face closer to mine. "There are a lot of ways I can still make it up to you,"
ಠ_à²
She tilted her head a bit then pressed her lips against mine softly. I was stunned. Our lips touched only briefly. When she pulled away I could only stare blankly into her half lidded gaze, my grumpy defiance completely washed away and was replaced with vague shock. She didn't waste any time in pressing her lips against mine with renewed vigor.
Barely got it, but I want to say one DAMN THING ABOUT THAT SCENE WITH TWILIGHT! Thank you.... Oh for the love of god thank you. This is one of the very few stories I've seen where the person doesn't pussy out because a pony show the waterworks. The one out of a god damn million where the character has some sort of a back bone. I can deal with one or two characters like that, but there are so many! So no matter what happens in this story, for this moment. THANK YOU
5689908 It's not something I've seen much to be honest. Then again I don't read many HiE stories because they're so hard to get right. Besides, it feels like a believable reason for his claustrophobia.
5689908 More often than not... its actually because military people have backgrounds that get them into incredibly bad phobias. From shell shock to PTSD and more... while some could still say that most traumas can still happen as a civilian, there's a lot bigger chance of it happening faster to someone who gets put into a terrible situation in a warzone.
This was very, very powerful. Twilight learnt a valuable lesson in friendship, and something new is added to the plate. The question is; is Valentino truly alive even now?
Through the turbulent waters, unclearly beheld and pained with the novelty of such a wondrous light hence; presently have your bonds grown tighter, for through this test have they remained strong and resilient the previous night. Might the darkness be held at bay, with that lovely sentiment, in any world, in any life, whether in flesh or in bone; nigh selflessly resting beside each other this day.
His face it, well it had no skin. No muscle or anything. It was just a skull. His hands were bones. He was just a skeleton wearing those clothes of his.
Things have certainly taken a turn for the strange. Wonder if he he'll be able to do his "skeleton magic" without being a skeleton anytime soon...
"Hey uh," I spoke up, calmly but loudly. "What's in here?" I asked pointing to the door. "I believe that room is used for storage," Princess Celestia answered. "Good, great. Could you all just maybe, uh, give me a minute?"
I know this is supposed to be a serious moment, but I couldn't help but think of this
That's Loyalty for you. Got your back even when you don't want them to. It may ruin your friendship? They'll take the risk and make that sacrifice to ensure your well-being.
Me and my friends after having real talks, right here. How can you tell the moment has passed and it's cool to proceed as usual? The moment someone calls the other a scrub.
"What I'm going to need more than that though is reassurance. Sorry might be enough for you ponies but... not for humans. Definitely not for me. You need to prove to me that this won't happen ever again," I said sternly.
You know, when you consider it - these two cultures are in stark contrast to each other. It really shows - "Sorry might be enough for you ponies but... not for humans." is perfectly right. Think about it, as there is more to be found here.
Ponies live in a society where good intentions are pretty much assumed. Ponies such as Trixie are the exception, not the norm. You may fib and lie to save your own ass, but to confabulate with malice isn't common. Having intention to outright harm another pony is virtually unheard of, so much so that you can assume this isn't the case and usually be right. A "sorry" will usually be enough, because why wouldn't the other pony be sorry for their actions? They must not have known, right?
Humans, on the other hand, live in a society of beings who are constantly competing for resources - treachery, deceit and (to a lesser extent) violence are expected and prepared for. We have so much capacity for malice it's not even funny. A "sorry" is most definitely not enough - it must usually be accompanied by some form of forfeiture of said resources, to show that the other human means business, either as reparation or a show of good will (often both).
In Equestria, your word is your bond. On Earth, words are cheap.
"Basically you're grounded and you're going to do a bunch of chores for me for the next three days. Or other equally boring and benign exercises. How does that sound?
I suppose I can live with that - behave like a child, be treated like one.
Twilight had returned not too long after Spike had left with a tray of cupcakes.
I think you need a comma there to make the sentence clear, like so:
Twilight had returned not too long after Spike had left, with a tray of cupcakes.
Rainbow is a good pal.
The irony of the fact that it is Rainbow Dash that's taking the mature approach here, is not lost on me.
When I shot awake I was completely drenched in sweat and had what felt like one of the more confusing erections of my entire life.
Oh this chapter just keeps getting better and better... :D
so confused
I am genuinely wondering if the sex tag will really go close-contact soon. Either way, you did good.
This was funny, then informative, then funny at that last sentence.
Obviously there was more, but I can't summarize crap.
Thumbs up
Achievement unlocked: "You read the authors notes!"
I have been waiting, and you have clenched my thirst for more... for now.
Great chapter. Long and smooth (that's what she said).
...
...
...
I had forgotten about the sex tag... This chapter reminded me about both that and the romance tag. I have read to many "Everyone" stories lately.
Wow. Just wow. That was some messed up flashback. No wonder Val's so sarcastic. If he didn't have at least that he"d probably go insane.
I went from relief, to lulz, to holy shit, and back to relief. Good chapter.
5688536 what am I supposed to do with the 20G's? I don't even have an Xbox...
Huh, I thought you were going over the deep end with Skellybones but it was a fairly decent concept.
tenouttaten
Dude if there's a person out there with real flow, it has to be you. Out of all these words you made a very good flow of situations.
Now let's hear you rap.
Mind-Fucked.
I honestly had a hard time following this chapter... I'll probably get it when I give it another read so it's all good!
But regardless great chapter!
I was deeply confused. But in a good, I wan't to see what happens next kind of way.
And I really like how you handled his reaction and twilight's consequences.
Skeleton Val was freaking awesome.
Also, realistically tragic backstory for character development.
Great chapter altogether!
Good job on the chapter; it was very compelling!
For a brief moment, Valentino became Skulduggery Pleasant... would've been interesting.
So the plot thickens...
I had to go back a chapter to remember what was going on. I hate to do that.
but it was a long chapter and I know how hard it can be to write stuff :) Get better and write some more awesome chapters :3
5689244
I honestly don't know why people take the military route for most back stories.
Kinda last minute if you ask me.
Spooky scary skeletons send a shiver down your spine.
Oh yep, that was my mind through most of this chapter
ಠ_à²
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/wtf_look_of_disapproval.gif
ಠ_à²
Poor guy has it REALLY rough, hope it will get better soon, i really misss his casual "yo" attitude.
Barely got it, but I want to say one DAMN THING ABOUT THAT SCENE WITH TWILIGHT! Thank you.... Oh for the love of god thank you. This is one of the very few stories I've seen where the person doesn't pussy out because a pony show the waterworks. The one out of a god damn million where the character has some sort of a back bone. I can deal with one or two characters like that, but there are so many! So no matter what happens in this story, for this moment. THANK YOU
5689921
Must... Resist... Nooooooooo...
That's what happened when you don't drink your milk. Calcium for strong bones.
I'm awful...
5689908
It's not something I've seen much to be honest. Then again I don't read many HiE stories because they're so hard to get right. Besides, it feels like a believable reason for his claustrophobia.
5689908 More often than not... its actually because military people have backgrounds that get them into incredibly bad phobias. From shell shock to PTSD and more... while some could still say that most traumas can still happen as a civilian, there's a lot bigger chance of it happening faster to someone who gets put into a terrible situation in a warzone.
^you're
==========
There may be more but it a lil over 11pm here so... yeah I'll read the rest tomorrow if no one beats me to it lol
Oh god, a powerful chapter. That was really heartfelt with twilight at the end, wonder if he will get that way with rainbow.
5691876 Thanks for pointing those out friend, it's a big help!
5691308
5692416 Found one more:
^should be a right somewhere in there
5693442 Excellent, everything you've pointed out should all be fixed. Thanks again!
Guess you could say he had a boner then became a boner.
This was very, very powerful. Twilight learnt a valuable lesson in friendship, and something new is added to the plate. The question is; is Valentino truly alive even now?
Through the turbulent waters,
unclearly beheld and pained with the novelty
of such a wondrous light hence;
presently have your bonds grown tighter,
for through this test have they remained
strong and resilient the previous night.
Might the darkness be held at bay,
with that lovely sentiment,
in any world,
in any life,
whether in flesh or in bone;
nigh selflessly resting beside each other this day.
Awaiting further releases.
5696686
cdn.makeagif.com/media/3-06-2015/ca39-y.gif
5696167
Um, this.
5703885 Hey, thanks for catching that, it should be fixed.
While I'm at it, thanks for all of your recent wonderful comments. I really appreciate it.
5703893
You're very welcome. Thank you as well~
That sex tag is coming in pretty danger close if you ask me.
As a Marine would say: "I can't wait"
OHMYGAWD! He has become Skulduggery Pleasant!
well this has just gone from being a good story, to being on my favorites, congrats! Have a like, fav, and follow, cuz you've earned it.
Things have certainly taken a turn for the strange.
Wonder if he he'll be able to do his "skeleton magic" without being a skeleton anytime soon...
I know this is supposed to be a serious moment, but I couldn't help but think of this
That's Loyalty for you. Got your back even when you don't want them to. It may ruin your friendship? They'll take the risk and make that sacrifice to ensure your well-being.
Me and my friends after having real talks, right here. How can you tell the moment has passed and it's cool to proceed as usual? The moment someone calls the other a scrub.
You know, when you consider it - these two cultures are in stark contrast to each other. It really shows - "Sorry might be enough for you ponies but... not for humans." is perfectly right. Think about it, as there is more to be found here.
Ponies live in a society where good intentions are pretty much assumed. Ponies such as Trixie are the exception, not the norm. You may fib and lie to save your own ass, but to confabulate with malice isn't common. Having intention to outright harm another pony is virtually unheard of, so much so that you can assume this isn't the case and usually be right. A "sorry" will usually be enough, because why wouldn't the other pony be sorry for their actions? They must not have known, right?
Humans, on the other hand, live in a society of beings who are constantly competing for resources - treachery, deceit and (to a lesser extent) violence are expected and prepared for. We have so much capacity for malice it's not even funny. A "sorry" is most definitely not enough - it must usually be accompanied by some form of forfeiture of said resources, to show that the other human means business, either as reparation or a show of good will (often both).
In Equestria, your word is your bond. On Earth, words are cheap.
I suppose I can live with that - behave like a child, be treated like one.
I think you need a comma there to make the sentence clear, like so:
The irony of the fact that it is Rainbow Dash that's taking the mature approach here, is not lost on me.
Oh this chapter just keeps getting better and better... :D