A traveling violinist Aurélien isn't your average pony. he is a pony that has been shunned by his village, nopony wanted to get near him. Why?, well because he is the only pony that eats meat and is half demon. He was driven out of almost every city and village in Equestria. Except for two the capital canterlot and ponyville. After two years of hiding in the everfree forest Aurélien decides to leave his lonley and gloomy life in the everfree forest and to go to ponyville to restart his life. But will his secret slip out ?Find out in A violinists secret!
Chapters (2)
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Be NICE!!!
ME GUSTA
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Where is Chapter 2?
Nice. Like and Faved. DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME. This idea can be done much worse. So work hard and read other fics to get a good grip on how natural flow works. I felt your style was a bit choppy. I had to do that, and my flow improved immensely. Also, don't go all Gary Stu on me, kay. Keep me entertained. Do a detailed scene of him catching and eating meat, to get a better feel of how his addiction works. Otherwise, good work.
Personally, I find it most amusing that you misspelled "minute" as "minuet", which is a French dance whose first movement is usually performed with--you guessed it--a violin.
Also, a wall of text when Pinkie reveals herself.
Other than that, I am intrigued.
This was a very interesting, creative idea. I can really see the potential here, but it still needs a lot of work.
1. Learn to use punctuation correctly: You have unnecessary commas in various places and also have too many run-on sentences. Make use of colons and semicolons.
2. Proper grammar: Keep passages of your writing in one tense. For example, you use both past tense and present tense in the first few sentences of the fic, saying that your character "...sits on a hill..., he could see...". A better choice would be to replace "sits" with "sat".
3. Add more depth to your descriptions: Your descriptions are very simple now; going into more detail can really bring out the life in the story.
4. Use literary devices: Make use of literary devices such as metaphors to add flavour to your writing and keep readers entertained.
5. Don't have contradictions: You state early on that playing the violin is the only thing that can make your character happy, but later on state that flying also makes him happy.
6. Use spellcheck: Nobody likes reading spelling mistakes.
I probably sound like obnoxious grammar nazi but, try to avoid walls of text, there are ways to overcome that. Beyond that its an interesting premise I'd like to see where it goes.
So far so good, the concept fascinates me, so please continue.
The only real problem I had was the walls of text, those things make my eyes hurt just about as much as bright colors do.
I swear its almost like this has been done before... OH WAIT. There's a fan fic about a werewolf who goes to Ponyville who plays the violin...
blacklightning96 hit the nail on the head
I have a question will you be shipping
Eh? Shorter than last time. Took me two seconds, and a waste of a chapter slot. Sorry, but it's true.
555172 true I really wish this story could update faster
What is this sorcery, this is shorter than the last chaptergraph.
....71 words?
.....am I being trolled?
610696 True indeed