“Hello there,” a voice said to Vinyl, drawing her out of her drowsy daydream.
The mare looked up, adjusting her shades, but promptly took them off for the second time that day at the sight in front of her. Funny enough, it was for the exact same reason. “Another one?” she asked to herself at the sight of a purple-haired human, dressed in simple functional clothes and a bag held at her side, in front of her.
The human raised an eyebrow, “I take it you’ve already met Fluttershy, then.”
“Yeah,” she replied, “So who are you?”
“Twilight Sparkle,” she said.
“Oh yeah, I know you. You’re our latest princess,” she recalled. She then realized what she’d just said. “Your… uh… majesty?” she lamely added as she dropped into a bow.
The not-so-alicorn princess rolled her eyes, figuring she’d never get used to that reaction. “You don’t have to do that,” she said airily, “I’m still just a pony like everyone else. Just a bit more royal.” She said it simply, not in a bragging manner, as her modesty lead. “You’re DJ-PON3, right? Vinyl?”
Vinyl rose back up. “Yeah. So what brings you out here?” she asked, actually having a pretty good idea.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“Eh, it’s a long story,” she dismissed.
“Okay then. Any reason you’re waiting outside then?”
“Um… also a long story. Basically, Fluttershy said to wait outside until the human inside has calmed down.
Twilight wore a mask of concern at this. “Calmed down? What was happening?”
“It freaked out when I came in. Threatened me with a bloody fork,” she explained, “Literally.”
Forgot a mask of concern, now her actual face was of concern. “And when was this?” she interrogated.
“About an hour ago. Either it’s taking a while or she forgot I’m out here.”
The human stood still for a moment then stated, “I’m going to go in.” Vinyl merely nodded as she moved aside for her to do so.
“I guess I’ll just wait here,” she remarked in her lonesome once again.
Twilight looked around the small cottage, feeling a heavy atmosphere as the normally lively shelter for animals stood stark silent without a bustle of movement. She spotted her friend, a shot of relief flowing into her, sitting alone at a table with a sulking demeanor.
“Hey,” she greeted softly, “Everything alright?”
Fluttershy looked up, her face shifting into a welcoming look. “Oh, hello there Twilight. I didn’t notice you come in.” She ended at that awkwardly, not having anything else come to her to say.
Twilight picked up the slack in conversation, “Everything alright?” she repeated, “I heard the human had a bit of an episode earlier.”
Fluttershy nodded grimly. “She’s upstairs right now and has been since.”
“Want to explain what happened?”
“…I found out why she freaked out so bad when she saw me the other day,” she said. Twilight cocked her head out the seemingly unrelated detail but listened as her friend continued, “I decided to let Vinyl see her since she brought her here in the first place but that turned out to be a mistake. She’s afraid of us.”
“She’s…” Twilight started, “What do you mean she’s afraid of us?”
“She’s terrified of us Twilight,” she strongly emphasized, “Ponies.”
“...Oh. I see the problem now.”
“I feel so sorry for her,” Fluttershy went on, “She must be having such a hard time when everywhere you go there’s nothing but us and now I just made it worse by bringing her worst fear right to her.”
“Hey now, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know.”
“But I should have. She tried to tell me yesterday but I didn’t realize what she was saying.” She sighed.
“There’s a massive language barrier. It’s not your fault. Now, instead of moping, why don’t you do what you do best: take care of those in need,” Twilight reassured, putting on a confident look.
Fluttershy looked into her friend’s eyes. Although they certainly weren’t on the face she was used to, she recognized the care the lavender mare held. She smiled weakly, albeit honestly, in return. “I’ve left her up alone. I figured she needed some time to cool off. I guess we can try to talk to her.”
“Speaking of talking,” Twilight mentioned, “I’ve devised a few theories on how we can directly communicate with her. Using this human form, I can start comparing our languages with her being more… compliant”
“Thanks, but I think Discord already took care of that problem. He came by earlier and was talking with her using a telepathy spell. It won’t work on me but you two could talk fine. You could be a translator”
Twilight looked thoughtful as she magicked a few papers sprawled with notes out of her bag. She regarded them for a moment before returning them just as easily. “That works,” she said, regarding the chaotic spirit’s solution. “In fact, this could work out well. I could devise a translation spell if we have a conversation like that long enough. It probably would be rough considering the incompleteness but the results should be coherent enough to understand.”
“That sounds good,” Fluttershy said. She got up and the two made their way to and up the staircase, the purple-haired woman in front, until reaching the closed door. She pushed it open, revealing the human lazily propped up on the bed and staring at the ceiling. A familiar picture was placed next to her.
She looked up, her face betraying no emotion except interest at another human. She grasped the photograph, looking from it to Twilight a few times. She frowned.
“Her name’s Rhyan if I haven’t mentioned that,” Fluttershy piped in.
Twilight nodded. She then put on a familiar face by the former-pegasus’ standards. It was the same look of concentration the pony-Twilight got whenever she was starting a spell, except this time there was no glow present to indicate the flow of magic. Twilight raised a hand and snapped in a Discord-esque way, drawing a curious gaze from Fluttershy. “I’ve always wanted to do that,” the spell caster admitted, though leaving out the part where she had practiced it all morning.
She turned to the human on the bed. “Can you understand me?” she asked.
The two watched, the pink-haired one especially intent, as Rhyan looked up into the purple-eyes gaze of the speaker. She looked intrigued, though not necessarily surprised. She drew in a breath before responding, “Loud and clear.”
Twilight smiled. “It worked,” she said to her friend, who smiled in turn. Going back to Rhyan, she continued, “Hello. I’m Twilight Sparkle. I take it you’re Rhyan?”
“That’s me. I’m guessing you cast the same spell as Discord?” she asked.
Twilight nodded.
“Okay… well, nice to meet you. You wouldn’t believe how annoying not being able to talk to others is.” Her words were monotone, never picking up nor going up.
“Nice to meet you as well,” came the succinct reply, “Fluttershy here has been wanting to speak to you. Well, in a way that’s more than just vague gestures.”
Then the bomb dropped.
“Did you say Fluttershy?” Rhyan asked, her dull drawl tuned into a dissonant inquiry.
“Mmhm,” she replied, “Though you probably know her by a different name because of the language.”
“That’s Fluttershy?” Rhyan said, pointing at the pink-haired woman, who was looking a bit lost at only having one side of the conversation.
“That’s her name,” she affirmed.
Rhyan opened her mouth then closed it, her face showing confused thoughtfulness as she picked up the photo and showed it to them. “That her?” she asked.
“What’s she saying?” Fluttershy asked.
“She asked if that’s you in the picture,” Twilight responded only to Fluttershy.
“She doesn’t know?” she replied, “I thought she already knew.”
“Want me to tell her?” the translator asked.
“…yes please.”
She turned to Rhyan who was looking a bit impatient at being put on hold. “Yes, that’s her,” Twilight answered, talking to both of them once again.
Rhyan looked at them, speechless, the gears turning in her head. “But she’s clearly a human,” she said, her voice rising.
“I cast a transformation spell,” she said simply.
The woman on the bed just stared at Fluttershy, not bothering to question the fact of a transformation spell, but instead was putting everything together. Discord, she recalled, comparing his words. And just like that, clarity shone down as she finally put the rest together. Loray, the one that took her in just on a whim, was not the kind human she thought she was. She was a horse, no, the horse. She was the one who sat there having a ball out of Rhyan’s pain!
Boom.
“You’re the horse I woke up to.” she accused towards Fluttershy, her tone none-too-friendly. It wasn’t a question.
“Pony,” Twilight corrected, wary of the sound of the words.
“Same thing,” she dismissed, drawing a frown from the spellcaster.
“What did she say?” the former pegasus asked, concerned at the shift.
“She wants to know if you’re the pony she woke up to.”
Fluttershy forced back a grimace. That wasn’t what she expected, to say the least. “Tell her I am… but I didn’t mean to scare her. I didn’t know about her phobia.”
Twilight was silent a moment before agreeing. “She is the same one but-”
“I can’t believe this,” she interrupted with a nasty scowl and voice to match.
“What?”
“You were that horse!” she snapped at Fluttershy, who took a step back at the outburst.
“Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, wide-eyed.
“Do you even know how bad your sick game was?” she ranted, not caring for the visible discomfort of Fluttershy. In fact, she would be lying if she said she didn’t get some morbid satisfaction out of it. For once, the horse was the one backing away, and no fear-induced reaction came from the human form in front of her to ruin it. Anger finally took center stage rather than fear.
“Hey, calm down,” Twilight responded back with her own strong tone, “She didn’t know about your aversion to ponies.”
“Really? She certainly seemed content to watch me squirm when I woke up,” she hissed back, repeating the phrase she’d used earlier.
“Twilight?” Fluttershy said, this time more urgently.
“She’s saying some harebrained nonsense about you getting sadistic enjoyment out of her fear when she woke up,” Twilight said aside to her only, still eyeing Rhyan with a serious face.
Fluttershy gasped, “I would never!”
“I know. But she doesn’t seem to realize that.”
“Tell her I promise I didn’t and wouldn’t ever. It was just a misunderstanding!”
Twilight nodded and did so, prompting Rhyan to give hmph! “Why should I even trust her word now? She outright lied to me yesterday, I now know.”
“What? When?” Twilight asked, questioning the out-of-character description of her friend.
“I asked her if the horse, her, would come back. She shook her head. Little did I realize who it actually was that I was asking!” she exclaimed dramatically, raising her hands outwards.
Twilight repeated it to Fluttershy, who gave her account in turn. “She says she thought you were asking if she would return to her pony form,” Twilight deadpanned.
“Sure she did,” Rhyan brought back as she broke eye contact, adjusting her gaze off randomly. She crossed her arms in front of her.
“Will you listen to yourself?” Twilight snapped, “You’re making these wild accusations that are just… stubborn and irrational!”
“Don’t talk to me about that,” she said, “All my life horses have been big stupid loafs that love to harass me. See this scar,” she indicated her forehead, pulling back a few strands of hair, “One trampled me when I was just a kid for no good reason.”
“I’m sorry to hear that but that’s quite frankly not my problem. You’re just using a tragic event to justify your diluted beliefs that we’re some embodiment of evil.”
“We?” Rhyan said, before adding, “Figures you’re one of them.”
“Yes, but that’s not important. You need to open your close-minded view and see the simple facts in front of you. Fluttershy was the one taking care of you this whole time. You should be grateful.”
“Grateful?” she repeated, “I’m plenty grateful. To Loray, that is. The human. Not the liar horse standing there.”
“Fluttershy?” Twilight said to her friend, who had been watching with concerned anxiousness at the exchange, “Has she ever thanked you for helping her?”
“Um… I’m sure she has at some point…” she said awkwardly.
“She took you in and you haven’t even thanked her!” Twilight exclaimed in disbelief at Rhyan.
“Well… It’s not easy with a language barrier,” she defended.
“So what? You could find a way. Maybe do something for her like help her out with the animals, hm?”
“Tch… whatever,” she stubbornly refused, “You know what? I don’t need to hear this from… talking livestock!” As Twilight made a sound of indignant offense, Rhyan got up. “I’m done.”
“What do you mean you’re done?”
“I’m leaving,” she said as she put her few belongings into her pockets.
“Leave?” Twilight exclaimed, drawing a shocked expression from Fluttershy, “You can’t just leave!”
“Watch me,” she said, giving a dirty glare before shoving her way past the two false-humans and stomped down the stairs. The two pursued after a mutual look but were met with the sound of the front door slamming closed as they reached the bottom.
“Er, I can’t believe her!” Twilight ranted at no one in particular, “She’s nothing but a rude, irrational, racist!” She muttered incomprehensibly to herself until catching the sad gaze of her friend. “I’m sorry…” she said, sighing, “I just, I’ve never met someone with such an attitude. She gives Applejack a run for her money in stubbornness.”
Fluttershy merely nodded weakly. “This is my fault,” she quietly spoke, “I should’ve listened to her more.”
Twilight, however, would hear none of it. “Don’t go back to that. This is not your fault in any way. There were just some miscommunications. If anything, it’s her fault for acting like that.”
Fluttershy said nothing to that, instead saying, “We have to go after her.”
“I know,” Twilight sighed, “She’s still hurt.”
“That’s not what I meant…” Fluttershy faintly whispered to herself.
The spell caster concentrated for a moment and one burst of magic later, a lavender alicorn awkwardly dressed in clothes appeared in her place. She teleported off the clothes, stretching her once again six-limbed quadruped form.
“Want me to turn you back?” she asked.
After a moment of thought, she said, “No thanks.”
The mare and human walked outside of the cottage that held the scene of anger and into the cool breeze of an afternoon outside of town. They looked around both ways, not seeing any sign of their runaway, thus having no leads to go off of. Well, except for a possible one of a still-waiting DJ looking over the edge of a small, stone bridge.
“Excuse me, Vinyl?” Twilight asked as they approached, drawing her attention.
“Finally remembered me?” she quipped sarcastically but stopped at their serious expressions, “Something wrong?”
“The human left and we need to find her,” she replied simply, “There was a… disagreement. Did you happen to see where she went off to when she left?”
“Yeah. She came out, took one look at me, then trotted off to the forest. Looked kinda angry.”
Twilight groaned. “Figures she would go to the forest. It’s the one place there isn’t ponies. It could take all night to find her if she goes in deep.” She turned back to Vinyl. “I hate to do this to you but could you help us find her?”
She shrugged dismissively. “Sure. Not like I can refuse an order from a princess anyways,” she said with a smile.
Twilight gave a flat look but continued, “A few things you should know: she’s an angry and rude racist that-”
“Twilight means she’s scared of ponies,” Fluttershy spoke in, “So be cautious with her. She’s perfectly safe but gets defensive around us.”
“Okay then,” Vinyl said amused but warily, “Just to be clear, she won’t stab me with a fork?”
“No.”
“Great. So if I find her, how do I tell her anything? We don’t speak the same language.”
Fluttershy turned to Twilight, prompting her to say, “When we spoke, I was creating a translation spell simultaneously that was picking up the words I spoke as compared to hers and what she heard. It should be strong enough to allow basic communication. I’ll cast it now.” With a glow of her horn she directed two flashes, one at each target.
“Alright,” she said, “Vinyl, would you lead us to where you saw her last?”
“Can do.”
Ryan trudged through the forest with a feeling of anger bubbling along. It wasn’t an unfamiliar experience.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered to herself, along with other choice words along a similar track.
Ryan was not in a good mood. The argument she’d had kept ringing through her ears, nagging at her like an aching tooth, always constant and refusing to go away. This one had a bite to go with it.
She was right. She was sure of it. Horses were bad enough but fully intelligent ones were just terrible. Argumentative and full of lies; she wasn’t surprised.
Twilight’s words cut into her as well. How dare she call accuse her of being stubbornly irrational? She had every right to be angry at Fluttershy and her kind in general. She was a logical, right-minded person, she knew. She was acting perfectly sane!
Right?
Ryan trudged onwards aimlessly, wanting to get anywhere that wasn’t there. She’d deal with wherever she ended up and what was there later. She vented a bit with each stomping pace through the greenery, her anger slowly cooling into a simmer. At the very least, she could hold a grudge.
And lo Ryan gains an inkling about magic but Twi doesn't understand the nature of ponies/horses from earth. Two steps foreward and all that. Poor Ryan.
Great freaking story. Keep up the good work!
Twilight, you are incorrect. She is not a racist. If she hated only one of the tribes of ponies, she could be argued to be a racist. However, she hates all ponies and therefore is speciesist rather than racist. Especially since she has no problems with humans.
That's the awful thing about phobias; they're irrational. It doesn't matter what arguments you put forth against them. It doesn't matter what logic you throw its way; it simply does not care.
At least they're not camels, Ryan. Camels are much ruder.
5052115 I'll agree, it is complicated.
Okay, Ryan lost me here.
I myself am terrified of horses. I don't have a specific reason -- no horse ever trampled me when I was a kid, but they could have, and they still could, if I go anywhere near one. Horses are horrifying scary creatures and I don't actually comprehend how anyone tolerates, let alone loves, them.
But I do not assume that horses have it in for me, because I'm not a moron. Horses are dangerous and scary, not malicious creatures who want to hurt me. They are too stupid to know what they're doing and that's why they're dangerous. I honestly cannot comprehend a smart human with a phobia of horses sincerely believing that horses are out to get her, deliberately. She must know they're dumb animals. Maybe when she was three, "horses hate me" would have made sense, but she's an adult now. Her phobia makes sense to me as a fellow equinophobe (are we sure that's the right word? shouldn't it be hippophobe?) but her nonsensical "horses are cruel and out to get me and if you're really a horse I hate you" attitude does not. Phobias are irrational but people's beliefs about their phobias aren't -- people don't believe completely stupid and illogical things to support their phobia, they believe mildly implausible things. Like "everyone is looking at me and they're all going to laugh" or "the crowd is going to trample me" or "spiders might bite me"... or "horses might kick me or trample me." Not "horses are evil and want to hurt me."
This isn't a calm, rational person with a phobia. A calm, rational person with a phobia would accept that Fluttershy meant her no harm, once it's been explained to her... but still be terrified when Fluttershy turns back into a pony. Because phobias are totally irrational but don't really influence your thinking unless they're triggered. A human who claims that she used to be a horse? Okay, if I'd seen enough weird shit to believe that that's possible, I'd be okay with it. The moment she turned back into a horse, I'd be hiding in the closet with a kitchen knife.
Vinyl now has a phobia with forks.
Calling it now, Ryan is in equestria because of a misguided attempt by Luna to help with her nightmare.
5052266
This. Take all of my this. Right now Ryan is acting like a child, a stupid ignorant child. I personally don't have a phobia of horses but I do have a phobia of spiders, but I know that they aren't out to get me, sure they terrify me and make me incredibly nervous, but I know they aren't evil.
5052266
5052469
Her response was emotional rather than logical and she was already questioning herself by the time she reached the forest. Ryan was angry, frightened, confused and had several close encounters with her phobia. She had a seizure and woke up in another world, away from friends, family and the things she considers 'normal'. Any one of those would be enough to work someone up to the point where they'd lash out even if doing so is stupid and irrational. Everyone has done or said something stupid when their emotions are running high. I know I have and I'm betting you have too.
Finding out that her friend was a shapeshifting devil horse was just the trigger that connected her mouth to her emotions, bypassing her intellect.
So yeah. She was worked up and acted the fool. Something that Ms. Magic Kindergarten should probably understand intimately.
If it were me, I'd.. probably be curled up in a corner and crying from internet withdrawal. To hell with the horses, I need my broadband.
Well fuck you too, Sparkle-Castle. Even if you were defending your friend's honor, you are a royal and a know-a-lot. You are supposed to know how bad phobias are by this point.
A certain princess here needs some tact lessons.
5052266 Yeah, except you're not her. You didn't have her upbringing, you most likely don't have her age, and most important of all, dlyou did not have a traumatic experience with horses, as you said yourself. Two weights, two measures. No comparison there.
5052484 But still if I somehow ended up in a place filled with intelligent spiders that could shape shift and one became my friend, I would freak the fuck out, yes but I wouldn't go about thinking that they just want to hurt me. Especially if one of them attacked me and then I later woke up in one of their houses in a nice comfy bed and was treated for my injuries. After I found out that they were sapient I would have felt ashamed that I acted the way I did. And yes I understand people act different from me. But that doesn't give her an excuse to act the way she did.
(Also, sorry if I'm coming off as an asshole, I've just had a bad day and I am venting.)
5052569
My point is that people are rationally irrational about their phobias. Even people who have had a traumatic experience do not literally believe that the thing they are phobic of is out to get them unless it is a sentient being, because people with phobias aren't stupid. It's not a form of insanity, it doesn't produce irrational delusions... it produces irrational emotions. A person with a phobia knows that thing isn't out to get them, but they're terrified of it anyway.
Ryan's just become an unsympathetic character to me because she's a delusional idiot. Which is a shame, because up to that point, I was really enjoying reading about someone with a fear of horses dealing with the ponies, and I'd thought it was quite realistic (including the non-fear of Discord. Because Discord isn't a horse.) But when she yells at someone who is not a horse right now that they are evil because they're normally a horse and horses are sadistic monsters who are out to get her... I don't know anyone with a phobia who would react like that. What would be more realistic is if she seems perfectly ok with the concept, accepts Fluttershy's apology for scaring her, seems like she's perfectly normal so the human-ponies think it's okay to turn themselves back... at which point she shrieks in terror and tries to hold them off with a chair or something. Because the thing about a phobia is that you logically know your fear is irrational but it doesn't matter. It's overwhelming anyway.
5052627
You're right. It doesn't give her an excuse, a pass or a justification. What she said and did was stupid and hurtful and she was already questioning herself by the time she hit the forest. She probably will be feeling quite a bit of shame and try to atone for her actions.
I also expect that, barring some crazy 'the CIA is putting chips in my brains' level paranoia, she's well aware that the chances that horses are conspiring to hurt her are.. small.
That was the point I was trying to get to, the 'why' of her actions. She reacted emotionally and did something stupid. I was just trying to address Alarajroger's "Ryan lost me there" remark and hopefully provide a bit of insight on why someone would say something THAT stupid, insane and stupidly insane.
Well that was kind of... rude of Ryan, to say the absolute least. I can't say I know exactly how a phobia works, because I don't. It just seemed too hurtful to me. Twilight's right here, Ryan's reaction is stubborn and irrational.
If i was in a land of magic talking spiders I can't say I would do better.
5053083
KILL IT WITH HOLY FIRE
5052833 Well in my experience a phobia is an irrational fear and hatred of a certain thing. Like with me and spiders there are four options when I confront one. I die, it dies, I leave, it leaves. If one catches me unawares however I yelp and run as fast as I can. I can't even comfortably watch video footage of them.
Hopefully that puts some of this in perspective.
5053083
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/12/22/190371.jpeg
5052266 I am very much with you on this. She was not directly confronting a pony and had not seen one for quite a while so the phobia should have been mostly lying low here, especially given how calm the conversation was at the beginning. Even with all the other stress she is under, there is really nothing to even remotely justify or explain this kind of outburst under the circumstances which makes the whole scene feel off.
Also, your comment about being afraid of horses makes me wonder how you managed to wind up in this fandom of all places. Even if the ponies do not trigger the phobia because they look almost nothing like real horses, I would have expected the fundamental concept to be a major turnoff to you.
5053790
Discord. I'm a Q fan. Also, my kids are into it -- including my oldest son, who has an account on this site -- and I'd heard a lot about how good it was. So when I watched the episodes featuring Discord, I got hooked.
That being said, G1 character designs creep me the hell out and I think I'd have had a really hard time getting into it if the faces actually looked more pony-like.
5053800 Ah, that makes sense. Q was awesome, and Discord is almost as good even if he does not have the same kinds of hilarious interactions with the others Q has.
I am also not surprised to hear that about the G1 designs given that they are kind of creepy in general and a phobia can only make it worse.
Also, it might be interesting to see your take on this type of concept given that you are about as familiar with the phobia as it is possible to be, although you would need to come up with some kind of setup for it.
5053827
I'd actually thought of doing something with it. Human character ends up in Equestria because Discord is, at Celestia's request, closing the dimensional gates, but in order to find one to close it he has to force them open... so she comes through while it's open, then he closes it and she can't get home again. Discord doesn't trigger her phobia because he's not a pony. Most of the ponies don't trigger it, much, because they are too small -- one of the things that terrifies her about horses is how large they are, and these guys are little ponies. Also, they're sentient, and their faces are not all that equine. But then she meets Celestia, and total panic attack, and everyone is like "How can you be scared of the Princess when you're not scared of Discord?" She'd be scared of most stallions, though. Maybe not Cheese Sandwich, he's tiny, but she wouldn't go anywhere near Big Mac.
Dunno if I will ever get around to it. The phobia was just part of it, one of my motivations was to introduce Twilight Sparkle to information science and game theory. Since other people are tackling the phobia thing I may not bother.
I hope rainbowdash gets turned into a human and fights Ryan, get into a slap fight. Oh and more please.
Damnit Discord, you made it that much more difficult at the start........even if there's some sort of crazy scheme going on in the background to justify it.
Oh how the term 'racist' is so commonly used on this site...
5053611 i.imgur.com/Q58WOKr.gif
i.imgur.com/8vcBhYZ.gif
media.giphy.com/media/149t2dI5M5nzvq/giphy.gif
5053358 I appreciate the explanation
5053843 That sounds extremely entertaining. She goes from totally fine with Discord and a little uncomfortable around stallions to total panic attack when Celestia shows up. The other parts sound like fun as well, and I can totally see Discord picking someone who is afraid of horses for the extra chaos it will cause.
Let me know if you ever get around to writing it, it sounds like something I would enjoy.
5055503 no problem i was happy to help.
5053611 AWESOME!!
5052266 True that. I would defend with the fact that she had a concussion and therefore didn't know the horse was provoked, but even then, it still is a bit overboard.
...Huh...
So this is some inkling of whats going on in a homophobe's head when they find out their child or friend is gay... They can never articulate WHY they freak, they just DO, falling back on "Its EVIL!" or You are EVIL!" or some variations thereof.
In my time, I've had to help console or send money to furfen I know after their being tossed out of their homes by parental units. It still P*** me off...
5053843
5055901
I'd read that, also...
Nooooo!
This made me feel like I was watching dora the explorer. I should yell "Swiper, no swiping!" or something just to doublecheck that I know stealing is bad.
5121654
I know exactly the kind of people you're talking about.
I remember during my first year of college, one weekend there was one of those extreme evangelists preaching in a heavily trafficked area on campus. You know, the kind that make us more sensible Christians (and obviously non-Christians) want to punch them in the face. He kept droning on about how all the gays and the Jews and the what-have-you are all going to go to Hell. One of his assistants was carrying a sign that said "These people are going to Hell:", followed by a list.
I laughed so fucking hard when I saw that one of the things on the list was "Hypocrites".
This is the chapter where I have to stop reading. Ryan is completely unlikeable as a character, not just because of her 'pony racism", but because her reactions to events and the world around her are unrealistic.
The story has some great ideas behind it, like the language barrier and the protag's fear of horses, but if this story were any rougher around the edges it would be a horseshoe crab. You've got broken and stilted sentences, unnatural and awkward dialogue, and whole words missing or in the wrong order. You switch between variations of third-person limited perspective and omniscient narration seemingly at random, with no indicator as to when you're doing it or how far backwards or forwards in time the jump is going to be.
Basically the story reads like a very rough draft and is in dire need of an editor and a full rewrite.
5053800
g3.5 is worse.
5411277
None of you will know true pain unless you experience Oogieloves.
Gah! This story is terrible. It had a strong prologue chapter but has only gone downhill since then.
AND NO, the irrational nature of phobias DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS. Rhyan's just a dumb jerk.
The writing for the ponies isn't immersive, either. You try to capture their personalities but it's always off.
I was excited about this story. It has such an intriguing premise, one full of potential. But I'll never see that potential realized, and that sucks.
We all do Twilight, we all do.
Exactly, and that is why I can't help but lose interest in Ryan as a character now.
I don't really have a childhood memory to scar me in anyway, but the people I have met that do fully acknowledge the irrationality of their fear. Ryan seems to think that horses in her world, and ponies in this one, are out to get her, even AFTER growing up knowing that the firecracker set off the horse, and after being cared for by Fluttershy. Can her fear idled state during her first encounter with Flutters REALLY suddenly make her so spiteful towards the human that has been taking care of her for the last few days? Disregard the fact that nothing but your fear of equines cause the scene in the bedroom in the first place, but when you are actually legitimately interacting with her, you LIKED her. Now you find out she isn't what you thought she was, and you hate her guts? This is bordering Nazism levels of xenophobia, to the point that it appears she is no longer capable of ANY rational thought, regardless of how afraid she is at the moment.
I like your writing style. You don't rush your work, and the dialogue, at least Discords and the main 6's, seemed legitimate and thought out. But instead of making me feel for the protagonist and understand her plight, you villinized her in the eyes of the reader. Perhaps stories like McBeth and The Count of Monte Cristo (The later arguably redeemed himself, and you could somewhat sympathize with him as it was a revenge story anyways) can pull it off, but I feel this is not the approach you where going for, and so it falls flat. I will continue to read on the grounds that she may still redeem herself, and in so doing the story, but for now I must simply say that this interaction is one that could have been left out of the plot.
Do not take this rant as a personal insult. I do not do this to stories I dislike. If a story is poorly written to the point of being trash, I keep to myself. I say all of this because I see potential and creativity in you work. I enjoy it, but found a part of it lacking, and so pointed it out. Constructive criticism is one of the best things you can give to an author, as it helps them improve and evolve as a creative.
In case it is unclear, I write this because some twisted part of my mind thinks it might help. So keep at it, and good luck!
I've now lost all my sympathy for the protagonist. She is an enormous bitch.
I am always happy when the ponies get yelled at
5961946 go *BEEP* yourself
Well, I can understand her hatred toward anything equine from a traumatic childhood experience, but this is really coming across like racism. I still like the story don't get me wrong, but the way Ryan is acting is hitting the racist card for me. Yes, she had one bad experience with a horse that put her in the hospital, but that doesn't mean that the horse hurt her on purpose! It's like teasing a cat with your bare hand and getting pissed at the cat for scratching you! Sure it wasn't Ryan's fault the horse got spooked, but the principle is still the same. Just because that one cat (or horse in this case) hurt you, doesn't mean all of them will.
6126936 She isn't used to horses (/ponies) being sapient, much less speaking to her. And she has been genuinely terrified of them for years. If she comes across as an irrational, racist, hateful person, then that's because she is absolutely terrified of them to the point of being beyond reason. That's what a phobia is, by definition - being completely overwhelmed with fear to the point where coherent, rational thought is utterly impossible. This goes to anyone else who seems to have the idea that she's just a b***. [Including Twilight. I just knew she was going to come out of that encounter having only made things worse, and inconsiderately shoved the entirety of the blame off onto Ryan at the end of it -.-. Why is this always a thing?]
I hate stories with language barriers.
Maybe if she found some Poison Joke or something and turned into a pony for a while she could understand them a bit more... Or maybe she would have a mental breakdown and go laughing mad.